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15 hours ago, Zimbra said:

Just finished replacing my kitchen sink, faucet, and dishwasher with my brother. It's like the easiest possible plumbing job and it was still a huge asspain that took five hours. I'm too old for this shit I'm calling a pro next time.

Oh my god I am sore today.  Somehow it did not occur to me that a giant cast iron sink would be really heavy.  Looks good, though:

FaxsdF_WIAEK9mP?format=jpg&name=large

(please ignore the gap at the front I still have to put silicone down.

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my dudes, we are only 16 months from Micky Mouse entering the public domain. 

this is huge, and i am very much looking forward to seeing what happens in this case. could (will?) definitely inform what we can expect when Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, and Captain America follow suit in another decade. absolutely fascinating to me.

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The copyrights of the older versions and their older material slowly goes in public domain. Derivatives and versions made later still will be owned by the companies. 

The og Winnie the Pooh is public Domain, but the Disney version isn't.

Companies can still trademark the names and logos of expired things to last and retain.

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Well, seems like I'm not going to lose my eyesight in one eye...probably...

I whacked myself in the face pretty hard with some exercise equipment a little over 2 years ago and have some residual damage from that.  And this last week, same eye got really inflamed and problematic in terms of light sensitivity and blurred vision.  I went to a doc-in-the-box and they flipped out: "Ahhh!  Infection probably!  We can't see in the back of your eye so go to the ER right away! Ah the sky is falling!" and I no-sold them.  Woke up at 3 AM last night not really being able to see out of that eye and had a mild panic attack, but of course the way it's operated lately is that it takes a long time to acclimate to ambient light.

Got seen today with a normal appointment; turns out my iris is just kind of losing its mind and not functioning correctly.  Gave me those dilating eyedrops to examine the back of your eye and my right eye just no-sold those, too.  Could have been an infection that kicked it off (but no evidence of one now), could have been the injury, could be psoriasis.  But some corticosteroids and other eye drops and it should quit being a huge pain in the ass.  Hopefully it will return to normal in the coming days and weeks.

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Last week was bad with the depression and I've been crying non stop today. Today I did something I've never done, tell my Dad and Sister about the suicidal thoughts. I kept it from them for years as I didn't want to upset/worry. One of the hardest conversations I've ever had. Takes a lot to open up to someone and said someone hearing something deep like that. I've spoken to others before and didn't get the reaction I was hoping for which makes you reluctant to reveal something so personal.

After letting my Dad/Sister know, it was a mixture wondering whether I should have because you can't turn back time and relief. If the roles were reversed I'd be upset someone I love was in such a state but by knowing, I'd be there for them.

Mental health issues, depression and grief, your thoughts and feelings in mind. As ever, please keep this to the board only and not on Facebook. Only you here, my Dad, Sister, Adam and Alyson know about the self-harm/suicidal thoughts and I want to keep it that way. Thank you, Paul xxx. 

Edited by The Natural
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17 hours ago, The Natural said:

Last week was bad with the depression and I've been crying non stop today. Today I did something I've never done, tell my Dad and Sister about the suicidal thoughts. I kept it from them for years as I didn't want to upset/worry. One of the hardest conversations I've ever had. Takes a lot to open up to someone and said someone hearing something deep like that. I've spoken to others before and didn't get the reaction I was hoping for which makes you reluctant to reveal something so personal.

After letting my Dad/Sister know, it was a mixture wondering whether I should have because you can't turn back time and relief. If the roles were reversed I'd be upset someone I love was in such a state but by knowing, I'd be there for them.

Mental health issues, depression and grief, your thoughts and feelings in mind. As ever, please keep this to the board only and not on Facebook. Only you here, my Dad, Sister, Adam and Alyson know about the self-harm/suicidal thoughts and I want to keep it that way. Thank you, Paul xxx. 

I'm sorry you're having those thoughts, and it's great that you talked to your family.  Please take care of yourself, brother, and know that everyone here values and appreciates you.

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On 8/30/2022 at 2:04 AM, twiztor said:

@The Natural

love you, brother. i hope the dark clouds of depression open up for you soon and start to let the warm loving light envelope you.

you didn't say how your fam reacted to your revelation, but i hope it was favorable. always here if you need someone to talk with.

Love you too, brother. I come from a loving family who have always supported me, thankfully that applied to this as well. I hoped/thought my Dad/Sister would, quite a thing to tell someone and ask for help with, suicidal ideation. Thanks for the offer to talk too, @twiztorxxx.

On 8/30/2022 at 12:24 PM, Technico Support said:

I'm sorry you're having those thoughts, and it's great that you talked to your family.  Please take care of yourself, brother, and know that everyone here values and appreciates you.

Thank you, brother. My late great Mum said "As long as you try your best, that's all that counts". I'm trying on a daily basis batting mentally and physically as both have declined.  Thanks again, @Technico Support xxx.

23 hours ago, Log said:

We here may just be a rag-tag group of assholes bonded by our love for one of the lowest forms of entertainment out there, but there's a lot of us assholes that care about you @The Natural!  Please don't forget that.

Thank you for your post, @Log and reminding me there's a lot of people here that care about me. Appreciate it xxx.

Edited by The Natural
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I haven't posted in a while. Part of that is because I was in a treatment facility aka rehab for 3 weeks. I relapsed on coke and agreed to enter treatment at the behest of my family. I came home last Thursday and started intensive outpatient and N/A meetings. 

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3 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

I haven't posted in a while. Part of that is because I was in a treatment facility aka rehab for 3 weeks. I relapsed on coke and agreed to enter treatment at the behest of my family. I came home last Thursday and started intensive outpatient and N/A meetings. 

I kept thinking “I haven’t seen Nice Guy in a while, I should message him” and then didn’t because life is a busy pain in the ass and time flies.  Glad to hear you’re okay and working on it.  We’re with you, bud.

Edited by Technico Support
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11 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

I haven't posted in a while. Part of that is because I was in a treatment facility aka rehab for 3 weeks. I relapsed on coke and agreed to enter treatment at the behest of my family. I came home last Thursday and started intensive outpatient and N/A meetings. 

If ever you need to talk or someone to listen, here I be. Best wishes, my friend xxx.

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Long story short - I got taken off in an ambulance last night at work because I couldn’t catch my breath and was sweating so much. My heart rate was something like 236 before they put me on oxygen.

Shockingly, I’m perfectly fine and there appears to be nothing wrong with me based off blood work, an EKG, cheat x-ray, etc. It’s just really fucking hot in the factory I work at, combined with me not eating anything all day and not staying hydrated.

I thought I was going to die for a good 5 minutes before they gave me oxygen. Like, starting to cry because I couldn’t breathe and I went into panic mode because of that. Scary, scary shit.

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I can relate. Went through something similar a couple of years ago. Spent a. day in the hospital for the first time in my life. Took a few visits to a cardiologist and several tests to find out I wasn't in imminent danger of having a heart attack. Scary stuff. Hope you're feeling better.

 

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58 minutes ago, Casey said:

Long story short - I got taken off in an ambulance last night at work because I couldn’t catch my breath and was sweating so much. My heart rate was something like 236 before they put me on oxygen.

Shockingly, I’m perfectly fine and there appears to be nothing wrong with me based off blood work, an EKG, cheat x-ray, etc. It’s just really fucking hot in the factory I work at, combined with me not eating anything all day and not staying hydrated.

I thought I was going to die for a good 5 minutes before they gave me oxygen. Like, starting to cry because I couldn’t breathe and I went into panic mode because of that. Scary, scary shit.

Jesus. Hope you're feeling better.

20 minutes ago, Execproducer said:

I can relate. Went through something similar a couple of years ago. Spent a. day in the hospital for the first time in my life. Took a few visits to a cardiologist and several tests to find out I wasn't in imminent danger of having a heart attack. Scary stuff. Hope you're feeling better.

 

Damn. Best wishes.

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On 8/29/2022 at 12:51 PM, The Natural said:

Last week was bad with the depression and I've been crying non stop today. Today I did something I've never done, tell my Dad and Sister about the suicidal thoughts. I kept it from them for years as I didn't want to upset/worry. One of the hardest conversations I've ever had. Takes a lot to open up to someone and said someone hearing something deep like that. I've spoken to others before and didn't get the reaction I was hoping for which makes you reluctant to reveal something so personal.

After letting my Dad/Sister know, it was a mixture wondering whether I should have because you can't turn back time and relief. If the roles were reversed I'd be upset someone I love was in such a state but by knowing, I'd be there for them.

Mental health issues, depression and grief, your thoughts and feelings in mind. As ever, please keep this to the board only and not on Facebook. Only you here, my Dad, Sister, Adam and Alyson know about the self-harm/suicidal thoughts and I want to keep it that way. Thank you, Paul xxx. 

My thoughts and prayers are with you friend. I went off my Zoloft two weeks after a giant argument with my brother and stepbrother. Long story short, about 5 years ago when I moved out to the sticks to work at my stepbrothers construction company, I've had tons of arguments and shouting matches with all of my family coming back and declaring me a hot head with a temper.

FF to about april I think, fuck I can't remember. My cousin passed away, months younger than me. Fucked me up pretty bad, i posted about it somewhere on this forum. Another hot headed outbreak got me to realize I need meds like a motherfucker because I was tired of all my flareups. So I try to get in to see a shrink, get some asshole who only does phone consults and is in a race against the clock each time we speak so that my phone consults go from about half an hour at first to over and wrapped up within 4 minutes.

Asshole starts me on Zoloft, ups the dosage after a month, but then comes the swerve ball. I don't have a flare up at the office, but everyone has an issue with how dismissive I'm talking to a customer, more in the sense that instead of being all warm sunny customer service I have this flat monotone. Not trying to get the dude to hang up, just not overflowing with sunshine and rainbows right.

So i get double teamed outta nowhere and everyone's bringing up my past from literally two years back and acting like i'm the same. which is like jabbing lava tipped daggers into my heart because i fucking swear i'm not the same guy i was back in may. i'm absolutely not the same guy i was in march. and having my own family ignoring what i felt was lots of progress got me really fucked up.

had to take out my zoloft prescription and say "look i've been on this about two months. i don't want laurels and flowers but i wanna at least acknowledge i'm not the same jerk i was back in january at least. can i at least get that?"

in the heat of the moment i just empty the bottle into a trash can because fuck them. i can't get one fucking word in, and the worst part is i'm not even trying to defend my actions, i'm just trying to explain my mindset since they keep asking why i handled the customer that way. which again, i wasn't even rude or angry or using foul language, i just wasn't sunny and pleasant enough for them

Still got about a month left before i can try to get the zoloft refill but nah, fuck it. i've been very open with my family about my losing struggles with mental health and if the best defense they can muster when they gang up on me is to bring up my bullshit from two or three years ago, especially after i've actually taken steps to try and rewire my own brain with medication which kinda was working, then fuck it. fuck zoloft. fuck trying to improve my mental issues.

absolutely felt like i was gonna lose that battle about 6 years back, even told everyone not to expect me around in another 3 years.

long ass way of saying, in my mind you shouldn't feel embarassed about opening up to your family, especially if you might think you're on the losing side (of struggling with mental health)  and want to know that someone's got your back brother. and it seems like that was the case, which i absolutely love for you and for anyone here who's got the unconditional support of their loved ones.

just reflecting on all this today since last night i had an episode and was told to take a pill and calm down. which ironically i can't take my zoloft since i dumped them in the trash to make a point to my brothers weeks back hahaha. wish i could. 

/rant-whining done

Edited by Hayabusa
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On 9/7/2022 at 3:17 AM, Casey said:

Long story short - I got taken off in an ambulance last night at work because I couldn’t catch my breath and was sweating so much. My heart rate was something like 236 before they put me on oxygen.

Shockingly, I’m perfectly fine and there appears to be nothing wrong with me based off blood work, an EKG, cheat x-ray, etc. It’s just really fucking hot in the factory I work at, combined with me not eating anything all day and not staying hydrated.

I thought I was going to die for a good 5 minutes before they gave me oxygen. Like, starting to cry because I couldn’t breathe and I went into panic mode because of that. Scary, scary shit.

Bro, drink some freaking water. And eat. WTF. 

Am real glad you're OK. That's some scary stuff. 

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My dad is in the hospital again. My brother took him in at the end of August at the behest of the family doctor. We ended up discovering he had mini strokes again due to covid last month which explained his sudden weakness 2-3 weeks into being sick. Also found out his foot was in pain due to a clot which they took care of Tuesday. With all of this he now has to take medicine for AFib. Oddly enough I've not been too worried or anything. Mostly just disappointed for him as I had really hoped he wouldn't experience this type of stuff again. Need to see him later today to see if he is feeling any better pain wise.

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Around the start of COVID, my wife had a massive miscarriage (ectopic pregnancy). If we'd ignored it as cramps for maybe another 30 mins she'd have died. Fairly invasive and extensive surgery followed. Still remember having this surreal conversation over the phone with the surgeon advising we basically had a 10-15% chance of successfully conceiving again. 

We couldn't visit her due to lockdowns and hospital policies till they discharged her a week later. Seriously weird experience trying to look after a 2 year old losing her mind at the longest she'd ever been apart from her mother and trying to explain it as best can.

This was pretty unexpected though:

received-771172377329086.jpg

In the last 12 months, I've started a new job, my father died, Ive been in and out of court on behalf of my disabled mother, bought and sold a house, with about 3 major renovation projects in between, quit drinking, been in and out of hospital trying to confirm that I don't have a brain tumour. Why not add something else to the list. This seems easy enough.

Edited by GuerrillaMonsoon
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12 hours ago, GuerrillaMonsoon said:

Around the start of COVID, my wife had a massive miscarriage (ectopic pregnancy). If we'd ignored it as cramps for maybe another 30 mins she'd have died. Fairly invasive and extensive surgery followed. Still remember having this surreal conversation over the phone with the surgeon advising we basically had a 10-15% chance of successfully conceiving again. 

We couldn't visit her due to lockdowns and hospital policies till they discharged her a week later. Seriously weird experience trying to look after a 2 year old losing her mind at the longest she'd ever been apart from her mother and trying to explain it as best can.

This was pretty unexpected though:

received-771172377329086.jpg

In the last 12 months, I've started a new job, my father died, Ive been in and out of court on behalf of my disabled mother, bought and sold a house, with about 3 major renovation projects in between, quit drinking, been in and out of hospital trying to confirm that I don't have a brain tumour. Why not add something else to the list. This seems easy enough.

Having been through two miscarriages (luckily neither as serious as yours) with my wife, I’m sending lots of love to you all. After going through that, it’s hard to enjoy a new pregnancy, but things can definitely work out. I see my little boy and I feel like he’s just such a special little person. I know that if things had gone differently, we’d have been spared a lot of pain, but we wouldn’t have that little guy. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

College-age daughter spent Monday night in the hospital.  A couple homeless dudes cornered her in a parking garage and roughed her up a bit,  she’s fine, fortunately.  Sore and bruised,  Police think it might have been premeditated.  Daughter has posted a few photos on social media lately of the stuff she sees walking to class.  Basically, pics of people doing drugs on busy street corners, groups of people fighting, people harassing/attacking shoppers as they go in and out of businesses.  Crime and drugs have always been a problem in our college town, but it’s been out of control the past several years.  I feel horrible for the local police.  They get no support from city council, so they’re understaffed, underpaid, and demoralized.  Same goes for EMS and firefighters.  And business owners and taxpayers, really. Our liberal city has some odd priorities.  I’m blaming them for my daughter’s situation, so I am expecting to discuss the matter at some length next time I bump into one of the members.  
 

We lived in city limits and five min from business district for over 20 years.  Finally got bad enough that we moved to the suburbs a couple months ago.  Best decision we could have made.

Edited by madl
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Last night I spent 45 minutes looking for the source of a humming noise coming from either the pipes or the vents, fearing the worst, looking up numbers for my HVAC servicer and my plumber. Then I went in my bathroom and I realized I left my electric toothbrush on and it fell in the sink so it was humming through the pipes. So everything’s great over here besides my brain. 

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