Dolfan in NYC

Anthony Edwards has to make a $50,000 donation to the league swear jar, after shouting, "My dick is bigger than yours to the crowd in LA." Also, Terry Rozier's bookie sprained Terry's ankle this morning in practice. He's out for the next game. (Darn.)

Speaking of movies that should go in the Horror movie thread: I guess kudos to them for not calling it "Sweet Caroline" and thus requiring every (white) 50+ year old in the country to buy a ticket.

She, she screams in silence... A sullen riot penetrating through her mind. Waiting for a sign, to smash the silence with the brick of self-control. WE. HAVE. NEW. (TRIOS) CHAMPS! Woah, it's been a while since we could say that. But the Death Riders have (hopefully?) had their reign of trio-terror ended by The Opps. Will they come back this week and say All Opps Are Bastards? Or wil everyone just move on to other stuff? And where is Hook? (Probably concussed?) Are you locked up in a world that's been planned out for you? Are you feeling like a social tool without a use? Meanwhile... Timeless Toni is looking for a new challenger. A spooky bitch, indeed. Scream at me until my ears bleed... I'm taking heed just for you... This week! Dynamite has more Owen Hart matches AND your favorite Bucks Whomst are Young are in action! Collision is on Saturday again, but only after those pesky NBA playoffs! (A buddy in college from SF complained that Green Day had sold out. This was like a week after I'd heard fuckin 'Longview' for the first time. Ah, back when "selling out" mattered... What a simpler time...) Enjoy the week!

It's gonna be hilarious to watch Pittsburgh trade way the fuck up to 2 or 3 when they can clearly get Sanders at 21.

The worst thing AEW did was give people W-L records as a measure of success. Like, who gives a fuck if midcard wrestler X is 11-6 and their opponent is 7-9? Becky was all but signaling the turn last night. She won her first tag titles and she's like, oh, cool whatever. She's been a female Austin for at least 6-7 years, and that character doesn't play well with others. Especially when the other has something they want. The Women's IC Belt is gonna be a lot more important now that a top carder is going to feud for it.

I guess Kawhi was wearing his pink suit last night. 39 pts on 19 shots is madness.

SEASON 8 TRAILER Premieres May 25th

Paul Heyman's taking it upon himself to make sure Pat McAfee gets fired, we thank him for the mitzvah:

I don't know what is happening behind the scenes and what (I'm sure) Deion is saying to these teams, but I've now seen multiple drafts where Sherdur Sanders drops out of the 1st round.

Yoshi Tatsu, Not Japanese

This should probably go under the WWE folder, but eh. It's fine for now.

Oh, and if that lady in the front row hires any lawyer worth their salt, here's something else for the Reckless Endangerment lawsuit: Yeah, the E is gonna have to do 20 years of Saudi PLE's to pay for this one...

C Cam Jurgens extends with Philadelphia. 4/68 (39 guaranteed).

I've seen the lights go out on Broadway... I saw the Empire State laid low. And life went on beyond the Palisades; they all bought Cadillacs and left there long ago... WrestleMania 41 is in the books! And depending on who you are, you're possibly not happy about it! (Let's Go Cena/Cena Sucks!) We have a new undisputed WWE Champion as John Cena vanquished the dashingest of champions, Cody Rhodes. This is his 17th title and now comes with the added bonus of WWE never having to book Ric Flair again! They held a concert out in Brooklyn, to watch the Island bridges blow. They turned our power down and drove us underground... But we went right on with the show. Kind of lost in the fold is that we have a new World Champion too in Main Event Jey Uso! He yeeted his opponent until he could stand no more and surrendered. We also got new Women's AND Men's Tag Champs. Jacob Fatu captured gold for the first time as he became United States Champion. And the wicked and nefarious Dirty Dom Mysterio has earned his first singles gold as he became the new Intercontinental Champion! Lots of new champs! Let's see how long they last! I've seen the lights go out on Broadway... I saw the ruins at my feet. You know we almost didn't notice it... We'd seen it all the time on 42nd Street... Tonight! The Raw After Mania~, which USED to mean something! We may get a bunch of debuts, we may get a few main roster elevations! And we may get the answer to the eternal question... WHY CENA WHY? *HORNS SOUND* (If you were to ever ask me what my favorite song is... here you go.) Enjoy the week!