Dolfan in NYC

But who will clean up after his children now???

Joker beat #1 Carlos Alcaraz in 4 sets. He ties Chris Evert for the most major finals in the Open era.

Apparently after the Vikes said they were cutting Cook, they took it back and tried to negotiate one last trade offer. Well, you can imagine how well that went. He's officially been released.

Meltzer is reporting that one of the plans for Brock-Cody III at SummerSlam is

ALLAH ALMIGHTY....

Full disclosure -- I'm considering switching the TV threads to a weekly one like in the WWE folder. Mainly because dealing with three different threads is gonna be... a lot.

WE AIN'T DEAD YET MOTHERFUCKERS

RUN 3 Writing can be a fun exercise, or it can be a tedious chore. Approaching something popular, you don't want to just write what everyone else has. You want to bring something of yourself to the party. Hmm... party... there's something there... What's a party but a time to celebrate. Things are going good. Things are swinging. Things are moving. And sooner or later, if the party's any good, someone's going down. So, let's talk about the party thrown during the third match: Dijak/Dragunov, Last Man Standing. As told by Jessie J, Ariana Grande, and Nikki Minaj. You've been waiting for that Step on up, swing your bat See, anybody could be bad to you You need a good girl to blow your mind, yeah The set up to this is dirt simple. Dragunov says, I like feeling pain. Dijak says, cool, I got you. They end up hating each other pretty quick, through reciprocal beatings backstage. I will say, Dijak's line, "If pain makes you feel alive, then I'm gonna make you immortal", is a really good line. Like too good for a random NXT match. Bang-bang into the room (I know you want it) Bang-bang all over you (I'll let you have it) They get into the ring and the fireworks start, basically immediately. As both try some cursory wrestling/grappling, but this match ain't about that. They just start laying into each other from the word go. A particularly nasty drop onto the steel steps Dijak has brought in the ring draws the first wince (of many) out of me. Just wait a minute, let me take you there (ah) And wait a minute 'til you (ah, hey!) The stairs drop is the first near fall, but Ilja gets up. His first truly big spot comes as he cannonballs through a table that Dijak is trying to set up - a hair too contrived for my liking - but a fun spot nonetheless. She might've let you hold her hand in school But I'ma show you how to graduate (mhm) Back in, Dijak wants to use the stairs again. But this time, Ilja reverses a chokeslam into a DDT that leaves Dijak PLANTED head-first. Ow. He then fucking crushes Dijak in the corner with said stairs, and hits a god damned Van Terminator. OW. No, I don't need to hear you talk the talk (hey, hey, hey) Just come and show me what your mama gave, oh (alright) Dijak somehow survives that and hits a desperation chokeslam onto the apron. Dragunov takes a nasty spill outside which allows Dijak to hit his old finish, the "Feast Your Thighs(lap)". Ilja drags himself to the corner and Dijak is enraged, so he gets a kendo stick from under the ring. Batman, robbin' it, bang-bang, cocking it Queen Nicki dominant, prominent It's me, Jessie and Ari', if they test me, they sorry And here's where he loses me.... he starts monologuing. Stop telling him to stay down, and give him a FUCKING reason to stay down. Dijak does stop talking long enough to lay in some solid shots, which eventually breaks the kendo stick. Uh, B to the A to the N to the G to the- Uh, B to the A to the N to the G to the, hey See, anybody could be good to you You need a bad girl to blow your mind Well, Dijak knows at this point that the kendo stick isn't going to keep this crazy idiot down. So, he goes for a chair... stupidly not hitting another big move to make sure he stays down while he goes looking for plunder. Of course, that's enough time to have Dragunov torpedo the fuck out of Dijak, who barely gets up. Bang-bang, there goes your heart (I know you want it) Back, backseat of my car, I'll let you have it (oh-oh) Just wait a minute, let me take you there (ah) And wait a minute 'til you (ah, hey!) This time Dragunov goes for broke and the bet pays off. The Unbesiegbar sends Dijak face first into the chair. (fuckin' ow) And that's enough as Dijak is a lifeless corpse, and Ilja is up at 9 gives him the win. A couple of spots could've used a *tiny* bit of tightening, but holy crap did they leave it all out there. Dijak made Ilja look like a murderer out there. The fact that he also stayed strong is a good bonus too. But the thing about pro wrestling that the big man always reminded me... this should be fun. And damn, that was fun. This party will keep banging on...

WHO, EVER, WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THIS POSSIBLE??

Frank Clark is signing with Denver for 1/7.5 (5.5 guaranteed)

So far so good?

One of the guys behind the Tuanon twitter account (an account dedicated to defending Tua from the shit he gets from the TV talking heads) was killed in a car crash earlier this week. The family opened up a GoFundMe, which the Dolphins' QB donated $10,000 to. Well, Mike Florio and Chris Simms have a show together and when Florio brought up the GFM (for visibility)... Simms made the dude's death all about himself and says Tua was "bringing money to someone for being negative" and "what this says about society." Simms really is just human garbage.

On the other point you wrote, Dalvin is apparently going to choose between Miami, Denver, and the Airplanes.

Pat Robertson, the televangelist who is largely responsible for the politicization of US religion, has died at the age of 93. As Clarence Darrow once said, "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."

Speaking of wrestling dorks... Matt Riddle has apparently failed another drug test and has received another suspension. Fightful is saying the length is unknown, but it's supposedly in the 3-6 month range and that WWE is going to pay to try to get him to rehab.

Jeff Van Gundy sucking the collective dick of the Jokic brothers is getting fucking tiresome.

So... how's everyone's day going?

Pat Cooper has passed away at age 93. Absolutely brilliant comedian, though apparently the bitterness was not an act and he burned a ton of bridges along the way.

Jomboy got a video of it I don't know how Californians deal with this all autumn.

Ana de Armas is not real and you are NOT in love with her. (I am in love with Luis Arraez though, despite him not being real either.)

Ha, my partner works in the building next door to you. He stayed home today though. jfc it's looking like Blade Runner out there.

It's not embedding but Bryson DeChambeau went on CNN this morning to praise the deal and was all but doing the Rodney Dangerfield nervous collar pull after some basic questioning by Kaitlin Collins. Lefty and Brooks can talk all the trash they want on Twitter, but to their credit, I'll bet they're nowhere near stupid enough to sit in front of an actual journalist.

It looks like a chrome bidet. I can't wait for Khan to somehow trick DeSantis into footing the $5 billion it will take to build that thing.