piranesi

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piranesi last won the day on April 18

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About piranesi

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    Jacksonville Lizard King

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  1. New Bechdel Test for WWE shows: 1) Were two or more black wrestlers in a scene with no white wrestlers? 2) If yes, did they immediately form a tag team? 3) If no, did they immediately start feuding? 4) If no, were they advertising chicken or caffeine pills?
  2. Stephen Tobolowsky is the Miz of actors. Always a heel. Never gets the love. But subtly great in everything.
  3. Management Styles Volume 3: Sami Zayne: He disrespected me, Mick! Mick Foley: We've all been there. I've had dirt kicked on me so many times I can't even remember most of them. But you need to take a step back and realize that this isn't a battle you can win. Let me drive with you tonight and I'll tell you about what respect means and we'll see if you still feel the same way. Kalisto [weeping]: He treated me like garbage, Kurt! Do you know what it's like to be treated like garbage? Kurt Angle: What? No. Of course not. I'm Kurt Freakin Angle. I'm huge and white. Now get out there and fly away to victory! And pick up that candy wrapper. and hey! If you bleed in that dumpster the down payment comes out of your check!
  4. Also Kurt Angle is a lizard:
  5. Management styles Volume 2: Mick Foley: Damn it, Sami, even if it means you personally hate me forever, I will PROTECT YOU FROM YOURSELF! You are BANNED FROM THE ARENA while Braun is here! Kurt Angle [on the phone]: Hey did we fill that dumpster with something like puffy soft packing popcorn or styrofoam? Broken Legos and vinegar? Yeah. Fine. By the way why do have so much of those? Did he? Did it work? How much blood? Whatever I gotta go.
  6. Management styles Volume 1: Mick Foley: No, Sami, you fairly large man who has proven he can handle himself in a fight, I won't let you face Braun. I will shut down this broadcast and weep tears to keep you from hurting yourself like that. I will trade you to another company to protect you. Kurt Angle [on the phone]: Yeah sure Kalisto, tiny brown elf who needs constant protection from other predatory mammals, you can chain yourself to Braun. Just make sure he's sleeping when you do it. Ok! Knock yourself out buddy and I'll see you on the other side!
  7. At least Taka got to enter the ring and have competitive matches on, like, Jakked or whatever and presumably wasn't being purple nurpled at the lunch counter daily. Kalisto basically if there aren't some camp counselors with him at all times to protect him is being violently sodomized by someone backstage. Even when he has a match he rarely actually gets to the ring without someone wedgiing him and throwing him into the girls locker room naked.
  8. TV

    2nd episode in and VEEP is right back on form. Astounding. When something like this: "Never forget! Wait, that was the Holocaust. Sorry. Totally forgot!" is a throwaway line and note even in the top 10 most memorable moments, you are winning. Amy's face during the closing credits is maybe the most perfect image of being miserable and knowing you deserve it and it will never end no matter how hard you wok. Just total surrender to being a fuck up. AND NEXT WEEK WE GET MINNA BACK!!!!!!
  9. Has there ever been another guy with as much promise as Kalisto who was shit on this much? Not shit on like "let's stooge him out in comedy segments" but just by having him not only be weak but basically a helpless child who exists to be bullied and tormented and is almost never seen unless someone is stuffing him into something or throwing him through something or actually making him hit himself while saying "I like to suck big dicks. MMMMmmmmm I can't get enough." Also has it ever helped anyone get over by beating him up?
  10. Just noting that during the final mad scene after STARCRASH the band was playing an uptempo cover of "Will there still be a clown in the Sky for me." Also when the lady in the movie "ejected" from her ship by jumping out a window, that was the legit funniest non-riff moment in any MST3K movie ever.
  11. Chapter 1: LOL Habs Chapter 2: LOL Habs Chapter 3: LOL Habs Chapter 4: LOL Habs Chapter 5: LOL Habs Chapter 6: LOL Habs Chapter 7: LOL Habs Chapter 8: LOL Habs Chapter 9: LOL Habs Chapter 10: LOL Habs Chapter 11: LOL Habs Chapter 12: LOL Habs Chapter 13: LOL Habs Chapter 14: LOL Habs Chapter 15: LOL Habs Chapter 15: LOL Habs Chapter 16: LOL Habs Chapter 17: LOL Habs Chapter18: LOL Habs Chapter 19: LOL Habs Chapter 20: LOL Habs Chapter 21: LOL Habs Chapter 22: LOL Habs Chapter 23: LOL Habs Just in today... Chapter 24: LOL Habs
  12. In defense of one of those, if you left off the U.S.A. people wouldn't be sure if it was a place or if they were there to watch some seriously weird fetish movie. They could have maybe gone with "Soggy Bottom Prefecture" or "Sovereign Village of Soggy Bottom" or Unincorporated Soggy Bottom County". Looking at the cast list it looks stacked: Don Johnson P.J. Soles Brion James Jack Elam Anthony Zerbe Dub Taylor The lady that used to chase Jack Tripper around on Three's Company The guy who was Perry White on Lois & Clark The guy who was Dr. Silbrman in all the Terminator movies "There are 215 bones in the human body."
  13. The only thing that ever comes back to hurt a guy like JBL is if he costs someone money, so yeah let's hope it was a nice payday for Mauro.
  14. It just needs to get to the point where HHH and Steph. can lock him in a room with a microphone and headset and he thinks there's a show and he's barking things to "JBL" and "King" to say. But his wires aren't connected to anything and this goes on 24/7 and they have a running printout appearing on a blog like Creed Thoughts. It could be a fun scroll at the bottom of the network.