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As an IU fan let me just say: hahahahahagagahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA Go fuck yourself Penn State.

Perfection

The way Cody won the belt back in their table match is still hilarious.

All of you who are wondering how WWE missed out on Wardlow should be happy they did. Otherwise he'd probably be a member of Revolution or Restitution or whatever the hell that horsehit stable of Bane knock-offs is called.

Korea has put out a TON of high quality, beautiful films about revenge and vengeance. What I love about I Saw The Devil is that it takes that concept and pushes against it. You want the bad guy to get his comeuponce, but you also find yourself wishing the "hero" would stop. Stop trying to play out this fantasy. Great great movie.

Get a load of this dipshit.

Lots of RUMBLINGZ this weekend that MGM is shopping NO TIME TO DIE to streamers and looking to forgo a North American theatrical release. Word is Netflix and Apple TV are the primary suitors, with a price tag of at least $600 million. Apparently MGM has a lot of outstanding debt and can’t afford to wait much longer for a theatrical release. They need an infusion of cash ASAP.

DAY 86 Ride 1 The New York Times, during These Troubled Times™ , has taken to publishing audio versions of some of their best stories over the last few years in the Sunday slot of The Daily podcast. They've done some absolutely fucking amazing articles including a biography on "Weird Al" Yankovich (seriously, if you're at all a fan, listen), the heartbreaking story of a prisoner in California who was being paid $2 an hour to fight wildfires, and many, many others. The reason I mention this is because as I was showering today, I heard the one from a couple of weeks ago called "David's Ankles". The story focuses on the history of Michaelangelo's David, which is largely considered to be one of the most perfect human sculptures in the world. However, since it's been exposed to the elements (and visitors) for centuries, some imperfections have developed and/or been discovered. The ankles in particular, have cracks that, left to their own devices, will... not may, will cause the statue to topple and shatter at some point in the not too distant future. Now the thing is, the statue has had flaws in it, since the time the marble itself was cut out. So, the fact that this inherently flawed thing can attain, or even approach the impossible plateau of "perfection", speaks to the genius of the creator. And though we may prefer one thing to another, or find flaws that others overlook, doesn't diminish the mastery of the art. The Undertaker had been gone from WWE since he was stretchered out of the previous WrestleMania. When he returned, it was to challenge HHH for a match at Mania 28. Even though he'd won last year, his body language, his actions, and his words all indicated he'd considered what happened an unforgettable humiliation and didn't want that to be the lasting image of him. (Hmm... might be a grain of truth there.) HHH has spent the last year fully embracing the Chief Operating Officer role of the WWE. He was busy picking talent for his new little project down in Florida. And did not want to be the one to end the streak because that would cost WWE money. Taker finally figured out how to trick him into a match by saying "lol Shawn's better than you anyway." HHH freaks, and responded by accepting and making the match a Hell in a Cell. HBK also comes back in the picture and is the special guest ref. So we're set. Lemmy commands me to sprint, and so I do. I have to admit, the pyro going off sequentially around the stadium is an EXTREMELY cool look. Taker is out now with a ton of fanfare himself. It should be noted that they've timed it perfectly so that the sun has gone down in Miami, but there's *just* enough light left so its almost gives the entrance a glow. Very, very well done. Amazing in the "How did this not get overdubbed?" category, the Cell lowers from the roof to "The Memory Remains" by Metallica. The song itself is very cool, and probably Metallica's last good song, but it doesn't really fit here. So, I've done the build up. Now the match itself.... they've laid out a very interesting story here. Both men are trying to prove themselves to be the greatest performer of the era. They also know that the bombs away strategy of last year could not work in Hell in a Cell, because of the nature of the structure, and if they failed with that strategy, the match would be over quick. Instead, they're brawling throughout the cage and doing vicious, barbaric hits to each other and build to the bigger things. That is, until eventually HHH takes an upper hand. Since it's no DQ, HHH is happy to get to the foreign objects. Mostly steel chairs and eventually the old Sledgehammer of Plot. HBK is doing an admirable job keeping HHH from killing Undertaker (almost literally in one spot). And the match sort of switches gears here, and becomes at once gigantic and intimate? You see the frustration building in HHH and realizing just how far he's going to need to go to put down Taker. He's barking HARD at Shawn to end the match via stoppage "before I do." Taker keeps fighting back and HHH keeps putting him down. "Stay down" he's yelling. Shawn is telling Taker he's going to end the match and that he's sorry... and gets put into the Hell's Gate armbar for his trouble. This signals time for the Annual Charles Robinson Sprint to the ring. Taker fights up and chokeslams the shit out of HHH for 2. Taker's pissed and ends Lil Naitch's night. AND THEN WALKS INTO A SUPERKICK AND A PEDIGREE! The crowd freaks the fuck out. THAT only gets 2 and the crowd all completely bought that as the finish. Shawn is freaking the fuck out in the corner at what he just did. HHH is angry as hell. Undertaker does his sit up and he's fucking pissed now. HHH eventually gets one more Pedigree off, but Taker kicks out, and now it's just a matter of time. Undertaker is back in full control and beats the unholy fuck out of Hunter. And now, Taker is the one yelling at HHH, "STAY DOWN." Hunter tries valiantly to use the sledge one more time, but Taker's all, nah bitch. And Hunter is now in the position that his idol was in... that his best friend was in... he will not end the STREAK~ and he knows it. ... "Anata ga motte iru subete no monode watashi o kōgeki shite kudasai." Suck it. Taker sledgehammers him, tombstones him, and goes to 20-0. Shawn raises Taker's hand in victory. In an unfathomable sign of respect, Taker helps a prone HHH back to his feet and back up the ramp. They share a hug at the top of the ramp and we see the true "end of an era." 45 minutes of perfection, or the closest you'll get to it. As has been said by those of you who are reading this thread, some like the first (technically second) HHH match, some prefer one or the other HBK match, I personally liked this match the best of all 4. But to circle back to the start of this essay, this match, much like the three that come before it, are all absolutely amazing matches in their own ways. The flaws you can find in each one doesn't diminish the art of the medium. The cracks you can find in all of them do not diminish the brilliance displayed throughout. Each man came in, flawed in their own unique ways. They blended their talents, worked with each other's strengths, hid each other's weaknesses, and executed incredibly. Ultimately, beyond that, flaws and all, there was nothing more they could have done. They told one of the greatest stories ever told in a WWE ring in 4 chapters, over 4 years. End of Ride 1.

Today I learned that Greg Valentine and Brian Knobbs are related. But despite greatly resembling one another, they're only Brothers in-law. Also JBL is Blackjack Lanza's nephew(?). Also I'm reading Roddy Piper's book (well technically two of his children wrote it, because Roddy died while researching his early childhood). Anyone who attended Starrcade '83 as a fan saw the Dog Collars and Chain exhibited in the lobby before the show started, because Crockett wanted people to know it wasn't gimmicked. But then Piper and Valentine did the match again, around the circuit for the next week. Also, when he was 20 years old and wrestling in Texas, he was living in his car with a pet Pitbull, which he named Kayfabe.

The story was when he came clean, his wife made him tell everything and she snitched on Lex (and I think Rick Steiner) and his wife told the other wives about the affairs. So that's the only time Sting did the turn on Luger first.

Yeah, watching Khabib always makes me think, "Wow, you aren't supposed to be able to do that." Technically, he's phenomenal, but the thing that makes him special is how little anyone else's phenomenal technique works against him. It never mattered how good his opponent was at anything, his skills nullified all of it. I believe Khabib, because his entire combat sports career was a father/son thing from the very beginning. Seriously, I don't know how much money you need to live comfortably in Dagestan, but I'm sure he surpassed it years ago.

A friend texted me when it happened and was like WTF? and my response was "I have never related to a professional athlete more"

You really should, and then watch it a 2nd time over because you might’ve expected something different. It’s no joke, my favorite Spaghetti Western.

Flipping thru the channels last night and saw that Death Wish 3 was just starting. When people talk about movies they are compelled to watch anytime they come across it randomly, this is the movie that does it for me. So insanely fucking enjoyable for all the wrong/right reasons.

judging from the first twelve I'd say you've got Criterion Channel... Let's Scare Jessica To Death might be the most underrated horror movie ever...

Great artwork showcasing Bayley's accomplishments in WWE.

Don't forget the bladejob. It's why I've carried a blade on my keychain for the past 30 years. Honestly, Jones tackling himself on that play was one of the most relatable things I've ever seen in football.

You know, I think the 33 years as an established horror classic, and all the terrible DTV sequels, have really dulled just how gross and fucked up (in a good way) Hellraiser is.

When I make you quit--and I will make you quit--you will fall in line. You will take orders. You will acknowledge me. You will respect me for who I am in WWE and all that I do for our family. And if you just can't, then you're out. And not just you. You brought your brother with you. He's out, too. Your wives, your children, your children's children are all out of the family. We will all turn our backs on you. Those are your consequences. Roman has gone full Michael Corleone/Tywin Lannister.

Was always going to happen. I want Lucha Underground badass Pentagon back. Give me full evil skeleton ninja who breaks people's arms. edit: Ooooh, I see Dragon Lee and Rush's contracts with ROH are up in December. YES, PLEASE.

If this goes thru, the Bucs are officially the best 2017 fantasy team.

Nerdist documentary on LGBTQ+ people in Wrestling

If it were me, there is no doubt in my mind that I would have 100% gotten up limping and holding my leg like I was actually hurt. Like when someone makes a wild throw and then rubs their hand like the ball was slippery but it was really just a bad throw. Then every few plays I'd do that wresting sell where I'd ball up my fist and pound on my leg to show everyone I was trying to will it into working right.

During that, I was like, "Oh shit, he pulled his hamstring."

@Dolfan in NYC Go off course during your Mania ride and watch this for us.

No soy un terremoto. No soy un tiburón. No soy una avalancha. ¡Soy un hombre!

Solid X Division opener, glad to see Rohit retain. The Gauntlet was fun, cool to see James Storm return and hope he sticks around. Moose/EC3 was an interesting movie fight scene. Hadn't loved their feud much but thought this felt like a satisfying conclusion. Liked Shamrock/Eddie a lot. Sad that Shelley got taken out, tag titles match was pretty good still though. Shocked to see the North win the titles back but I loved that unexpected move. Thought Deonna/Kylie was the best built match on the card and was looking forward to that so I was very surprised to see that not happen. I love Su so that was a welcome return, but I did not want to see Deonna lose the title. I thought going in for sure that Kylie was winning the title but wanted Deonna to have a much longer reign. Regardless, this was my favorite match of the night, awesome finishing stretch. Deonna is one of my top favorites to watch right now. Main event was good and a nice moment for Swann. Before his injury he was on fire in 2018-2019 so I'm interested to see where things go with him as champ. Overall thought this delivered a pretty good show with the second half kicking things up a notch. Full Results:

Jesus. He got got that takedown off balance from a leg kick. And then he went for exactly what he wanted. I believe Khabib when he says he's done. But I could see a scenario where his mother gives her blessing for him to take one more.

Happy Birthday, @twiztor. Enjoy UFC 254: Khabib vs. Gaethje.

Hope you're having a good Birthday.

crushed. Khabib has been a fave for quite a few years now. completely understandable in his situation, but man i just hate to see him go.

It wasn't just the transition into submission, that fucking takedown was absurd. Seriously, he went from a double leg, to the back, to mount, to guard, to a triangle like there wasn't another world class fighter trying to stop him.

Someone brought up "rewatchability" when ranking movies and so for me its funny that these two are back to back since they are the two most rewatchable movies of the Marvel franchise (I guess I would toss the first Avengers in there too) I had them 5 spots apart in my ballot. If I redid it tomorrow, it is entirely possible their order would be flipped. God - I still wish Robert Redford had been utilized more

if Khabib wins tonight, i'm still hoping for a Khabib-Ferguson matchup. yes, a lot of the luster is gone after so many failed pairings and Tony's dismantling by Gaethje, but i'm still incredibly interested in seeing it unfold.

Great article contrasting The Vow with the other NXIVM documentary series, Seduced. Does a great job of elaborating other issues The Vow had that I didn't mention. https://tv.avclub.com/in-the-nxivm-docuseries-showdown-seduced-is-the-clear-1845420016/amp

Shorty G no more! Thank God.

Show's face is the best.

And I know it's not going to happen but I really want to see AEW World Champion Eddie Kingston versus Pentagon. Goddamnit.

I was let down on this one here. I was fascinated by 'Killing of A Sacred Deer' and intrigued by/not completely sold on 'The Lobster' so I was excited for a big budget Lanthimos movie with a great cast. But it felt, to me, very much like toned-down Lanthimos/Oscar-friendly Lanthimos. Just never clicked me. Maybe it, like all things, needed more Colin Farrell. This is a big shocker to me, as I thought it had enough praise/fans to easily slot into the Top 10 if not the Top 5. Seeing it come down this early is surprising to me, though, truthfully, it's probably in about the right spot. JK Simmons is goddamn terrifying in this one. I thought about bumping this off my list in favour of something else, and then it was on cable recently and I watched 1/2-3/4 of it and laughed really hard and remembered why I enjoyed it so much the first time around all over again. I completely forgot this movie existed. It probably could have snuck into my HMs for sure. I liked this miles better than the sequel I'm pretty shocked that this made the list. I mean, I voted for it in the HMs largely because I only saw it once, late at night and don't remember a ton about it I mean except that insane twist towards the end taking it in a completely different direction than I expected and because I didn't think it had much backing on here to actually make the list. My bad.

Mangianello is playing Deathstroke again in the “reshoots.” Good for him. He seems way into playing the character and his insane workout regimen has gotten me shredded every time I’ve stuck with it, so he’s alright in my book.

Are we forgetting someone, brother? ? And Bruno. And Backlund. And Savage. And Cena. Also, Shawn is still sitting at 231 days. But Drew should be able to pass that. Rollins is at 220. I feel like a jerk!

I would be WAY more interested in a remake of the Producers with characters from the DC Universe playing the roles than anything having to do with the fucking Snyder cut

So this one is for @Niners Fan in CTbut Sasha Banks was on this week's New Day podcast and she sounds like the sweetest person around.

Josef Kovacs, the Butcher of Budapest.

Where does this mean world cast its cold eye? Who's left to suffer long about you? Does your soul cast about like an old paper bag Past empty lots and early graves Of those like you who lost their way Murdered on the interstate While the red bells rang like thunder? - Neko Case, Deep Red Bells Don't Go In The Woods ( Bryan, 1981 ) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0182996/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_5 Pick: Meltzing Pot " Hey man, my spooky movie is Don’t Go In The Woods (the 1981 version). Thanks!" Reviewed by: Ultimo Necro Ultimo Necro v Dont go in the woods “All rise for the honorable Judge Reaper” A large hooded, robbed figure, with a scythe, floats mysteriously into the court room and takes its place at the bench. From beneath the robe a skeletal hand points at the defendant. A deep voice booms from within. It sounds a lot like Patrick Stewart. “Defendant, please rise and state your name and date of birth”. A small VHS video cassette box, with “Dont go in the woods” plastered across it, also wearing a cute little suit, naturally, stands up. With a squeak it replies. “Don t go in the woods, 1981 your honor”. “I understand that you will be defending yourself? You are a very brave little VHS cassette tape if I do say so myself. With that, you are charged with being one of the worst movies set to videotape, how do you plead?” “Not guilty your honor”. “Not guilty… well, whatever you say, I now open the floor to the prosecution.” The skeletal hand turns to the prosecutor, palm open. A slick white man in a suit, played by, lets say Rob Lowe, stands up from his table. He shuffles some paperwork and places it down on the table. “Your honor, it is my duty here today to set out the evidence, which will show, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Mr. Dont go in the woods here, comitted the crime of being the single worst movie that the victim has ever seen.” Rob Lowe glances at the victim, sat to his left, DVDVR forum member Ultimo Necro sits, looking weary and tired. “From the terrible acting, the poor visual effects, the boring plot, we will set out to the court, exactly how all this combined to horrify my client so much that it made him question his love of slasher movies, splatter movies and horror movies in general. To the point that he has given up on Halloween altogether and signed up for knitting class at his local church” He pats Ultimo Necro on the back, as he sobs, “There, there, Necro, it’ll be okay”. “Without further delay, I’d like to call my first and only witness, Mr. Ultimo Necro.” Ultimo Necro takes the stand, he is sworn in by a short fat cop. Rob Lowe walks turns to face the jury. “Mr. Necro, can you think back to when you first realised a crime had been committed and take me through the events?” “Yes, gladly, after I put the film on, within the first couple of minutes I realised that the acting was insanely bad. The movie starts with a woman being chased through the woods, which in itself wasn't bad or offensive, however, once the main group of characters appeared the bad acting started. One line, and I’ll never forget it went ‘That. Could. Have. Been. A. Fatal. Mistake….. Jumping. Off. A. Log.” Ultimo Necro softly sobs to himself, remembering the pain of hearing that line. Rob Lowe nods softly. “Please continue”. “Then, at the Police station, some guy that looked like Napoleon Dynamite delivered a line ‘They are county… but we are city’… it was so terrible, your honor, I swear I have never seen such bad acting”. “OBJECTION” squeaks the suited VHS video cassette as it stands up. “I’m a very low budget 80’s action movie… What did you expect!??!?! I couldn't afford good actors, or screenwriters” “Overruled” barks Judge Reaper. “Please continue Mr. Lowe”. Rob Lowe continues “Mr. Necro… please tell us more.” “Well, the next thing, there seemed to be a whole lot of bad penis jokes, although I’m not sure if they were intentional or not. One woman says “Be careful…. Dick” just before her husband gets killed, and shortly after one of the main cast says “Peter, you better bring up the rear”. Maybe I’ve just lived in the UK too long and adopted their campy sense of humor, but it just felt very silly.” “Thank you Mr. Necro, now please, tell us about the killer in the movie, surely any good horror film should have a good killer in it? I mean, that's one of the main selling points of the genre”. “Yes sir, well, you see, the killer is a big fat guy, a woodsman type. He looks like a giant Ewok for the most part. He wasn't scary at all. Have you watched WWE Raw recently?” Everyone in the court room looks at each other and shakes their heads. “Well, there are these guys called the Viking Raiders, he kind of looked like one of them, or Leonardo Di Caprio in the Revenant if he had survived until the 1980s”. Rob Lowe brings his finger to his lips, contemplating. “Yes, I see, and tell us about the setting, surely a horror film would have a captivating setting?” “Well, it was set in the woods, but it didn't feel very remote. There were lots of people around all the time. It was a busy spot, it even had wheelchair access for one guy to get killed. Towards the end when they form a posse to get the killer it only takes them seemingly 20 minutes to get to his cabin.” “and finally, tell us how this film made you feel”. “This film made me so bored that I’ve changed my outlook on life, it made me realise that maybe horror movies just aren't for me any more. Maybe I’ve changed, maybe I’ve got so used to bigger budget movies that the types of movies I used to enjoy just seem to suck now.” “No, no Mr. Necro, please don't blame yourself, you’re the victim here remember.” “I know, but its just so hard, I cant unsee these horrible images” “Do you mean the gore?” Necro stops, sobs once, before the floodgates open “THERE WAS HARDLY ANY GORE….. WHAA, WHAAA” The Judge bangs his gavel “MR. NECRO PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER” He continues banging. Rob Lowe smiles a big evil smile. “The Prosecution rests”. The Judge continues banging his gavel as Necro’s sobbing subsides. “YOUR WITNESS MR. ‘TO THE WOODS’” The little video cassette box, in a suit, jumps down from his seat and walks towards the bench. “Now, I may just be a small time, country VHS tape and not some big fancy Hollywood Blu-Ray Disc, but I’m sure, even for a slasher horror movie fan such as yourself Mr. Necro, there must have been something you liked?” Ultimo Necro shakes his head and mutters “nothing” between sobs. “Oh come on, you didn't like the camera work during the chase scenes?” Necro raises his head “Well, I suppose it was okay, it did make it feel like there was a real chase through the woods happening”. “And what about the death scenes, you must have liked at least a couple of those right?” “Well, I did like when the good guys accidentally stabbed another hiker. And I suppose when they killed the wildman was pretty cool too. Now that I think about it, the scene with Joanne getting killed with the machete was pretty bloody and gnarly”. “… and the guy in the wheelchair?” “Well, I guess, but I felt a bit wrong for laughing at that bit”. “Mr. Necro, it seems to me that you are letting your prejudices get in the way of enjoying this film? Would you agree with that statement?” “No.. but, but, no…” “Mr. Necro, I have proven here today that there were at least some things you liked about me. You must have only watched classics if I’m the worst film you’ve ever seen. You are telling me you’ve never seen a bad movie before?”. “Nothing worse than you…. YOU MONSTER”. The Judge bangs his gavel again. “Mr. Necro, I am warning you, any more outbursts like that and I’ll hold you in contempt of court”. Ultimo Necro turns to the Judge “Sorry your honor, it’s just that he frustrates me so much”. The VHS cassette tugs on the lapels of his suit jacket. “Your honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, in conclusion, I have shown that despite the pursuer’s insistence, that there was indeed something that he liked about me. In addition, prior to this trial I obtained authority to recover Mr. Necro’s online watching history from his movie accounts. He has watched this year alone…. ROBOCOP 3”. The jury gasps. “TROLL 2” More gasps, one lady in the front row faints. “JAWS” Everyone pauses, confused for a second, the cassette continues... “THE REVENGE” Screams emanate from the jury. The small VHS cassette smiles contently and walks back to his table. “The Defence rests your honor”. “ORDER! ORDER” More gavel banging as the jury murmur amongst themselves. “I THINK I HAVE SEEN ENOUGH HERE, I DON'T NEED THE JURY TO COME TO A DECISION, I FIND THE DEFENDANT NOT GUILTY AND CLEAR HIM OF ALL CHARGES”. The VHS tape does a little dance of joy, Rob Lowe sinks into his seat, devastated at losing to a video cassette, again. The Judge turns to Ultimo Necro. “IN ADDITION, MR NECRO, I CONSIDER THAT YOU HAVE WASTED THIS COURTS TIME, YOU HAVE WASTED THESE PEOPLES TIME AND YOU HAVE WASTED THE READERS TIME IN BRINGING THESE FANCIFUL CHARGES AGAINST THE DEFENDANT. I THEREFORE SENTENCE YOU TO…. ETERNITY IN HELL….” “Nooooooooo” screams Necro as he is dragged away by the fat cop and Judge Reaper. The VHS tape giving him the finger as he goes. CUT TO BLACK. EPILOGUE. My eyes slowly open, my bed sheets stick to my sweaty skin, I turn and see the mid October sun filter between my bedroom curtains. It was only a dream. Oh thank the lord, it was only a dream. I turn around and my wife sleeps next to me, blissfully unaware of what I have just been through. I get up and head downstairs. I put on a pot of coffee and grab the TV controller. I turn the TV on in the kitchen. As it comes on I slowly recognise that “Dont go in the woods” is on. I change the channel, “Dont go in the woods”, I change again… and again.. and again… “Don't go in the woods” “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!” I scream, as the laughter of the little evil video cassette, Rob Lowe and Judge Reaper (Patrick Stewart) fades in. Jerry Only’s cover of “Only Make Believe” plays over the credits.

This tastes like zhit!

so can I assume the patches aren't working 100%?

Is she on something?