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He separated his shoulder flipping a burger after that shot.

Speaking of Sasha Banks, I decided to watch Takeover Respect on a whim, and the best part of her harassing Izzy in that Iron Man match is that it starts about two minutes before she actually steals the bow. Sasha throws Bayley into the stairs and starts barking at Izzy, who is stony-faced except to wipe away a single tear right as the camera starts to follow the action back toward the ring. A minute later, Sasha dumps Bayley again and points right at Izzy, who is still holding it together though she is starting to slip. She wipes away a couple more tears really quickly. You can read that she's thinking, "I am NOT going to cry." Then Sasha flings Bayley into the video board, comes back, and snatches Izzy's bow, and instantaneously, Izzy breaks into tears. Sasha set up that spot by wearing down the psyche of a nine-year-old girl by taunting her as she beat up that girl's hero. It's mean, it's cruel, it's pro wrestling. I actually think that people were more down on this match than they should have been because actually, once the first fall happens, everything that happens after it builds on each successive fall and is sublime.

It was a really good match but I have to admit I remember asking my girlfriend why they had so much hair. Like she'd have some pearl of wisdom about hair extensions making you more aerodynamic. But I got this...

My biggest hope is for a shoot draft. None of that random lotto shit. Let's see who Shane and Stephanie would pick if they were really in charge. Creative can pick up the pieces afterward. With the 1st pick, Stephanie McMahon's Raw selects...TRIPLE H! Shane McMahon's SmackDown selects...THE UNDERTAKER! THE BIG SHOW! Andre was my friend! JBL'S HAT! THE SMACKDOWN FIST! Dammit! SON OF MITCH! Jericho, I guess. ROMAN REIGNS! JOHN CENA! AJ STYLES! AN USO! AN USO! ANOTHER USO! There are no more Usos on the board. You have 30 seconds to make another selection. Shit! Uh, BROCK LESNAR!

I await the Mets mid-season trade for Utley confusing everyone.

Barrett said Shango was going into the Rumble for like 3 years straight so that was his bit

You should not have Ambrose in the ring being interviewed by Michael Cole like they did on Smackdown. Makes him seem like just another guy. He needs mystique. His promos always need to be solo, taped affairs, kinda like ECW Raven's but not as angsty, more crazy. Piranesi should be the field producer for his promos.

OKC shot 3-23 from downtown, and 22-32 from the line. I don't even know how this was close. In the two would be close out games KD has shot 22-62. What an epic choke job from him. Westbrook hasn't been much better at 21-55. You saw the difference between a championship team and a pretender in the 4th quarter. Waiters has played 60 minutes the last 2 games and has 3 points. How is that even possible? His ORtg has been 66 and 83 while his DRtg has been 124 and 117. The guy is literally useless. Westbrook and KD will both have to play at an MVP level to win game 7. I'm not holding my breath.

I don't think it's a coincidence that he teed off twice on lesser pitchers after the team ace got himself tossed for absolutely no reason. Thor cost the Mets a quality start and almost certainly the game because he just had to wiggle his dick at Utley, consequences be damned. I don't blame the umps one bit.

Also, never forget the awesomeness of this promo.

I want to see all the marquee wrestlers in a green room and as the draft moves forward each wrestler is picked one by one until there's someone left in there who neither Shane or Stephanie is selecting. So when they are finally selected they have a chip on their shoulder and want to prove Shane and Steph wrong. So they set out to destroy people who were picked before them.

That's one way to make Bullet Club stop being seen as cool; like when Nsync started wearing FUBU.

I just watched American Grindhouse and I'm in the mood, baby, so let's see what B Movie TV is serving up to honor our fallen heroes this Memorial Day Weekend...why it's Demonwarp: (1988) starring George Kennedy who wikipedia says is somehow not a veteren despite everything his face and body and posture and attitude and every movie he's ever been in would seem to indicate...he's actually just a rolly-polly ball of cute. So I am already going into this shaken a bit in my core beliefs. Hollywood has somehow deceived me about something. You know what, I'm pretty sure Wikipedia is a fucking liar. I love you Hollywood! I will always believe you first! After a cold open that shows a creepy old-timey western wanderer with like a mule cart in like the old west reading the bible and seeing a meteor maybe? crash we completely forget any of that happen and instead flash to George Kennedy playing trivial pursuit with his daughtANDBIGFOOT JUST BROKE DOWN THE DOOR AND DRAGGED GEORGEKENNEDYSDAUGHTERINTOTHEWOODS!!! Guys, meet Bigfoot! Yeah. So let's not put a lot of stock in the Bigfoot factor itself to carry this movie. Why do you ask, is Bigfoot the main antagonist in a movie whose title is made of the words "Demon" and "Warp"? Since Bigfoot is an idyllic woodland creature who admittedly occasionally crosses the line into hiker-murder and/or dragging-people-off-to-be-his-sex-slave and not either a demon or a time travler, this seems odd? Well, the connection is not really evident until literally the final ten minutes or so of this ridiculous movie. We now flash to a bunch of teens driving into the woods. So if you're keeping track so far we into at least our third movie opening in this movie andHOLYSHITIT'S BUDDY FROM JUSTONEOFTHEGUYS!!!! Buddy from Just ONE OF THE GUYS is literally y favorite film character in the history of film. He is completely unchanaged, like a smidge taller, and so I am going to assume this is, in fact, Buddy, and this is the unofficial sequel to Just One of the Guys and maybe Bigfoot is writing a story for his school newspaper about teen relationships and this is all a big misunderstanding. So the slasher-teen-fodder are at this cabin to find the uncle of one of them who has disappeared and I am assuming is being mated to various Bigfeet against his will. This is a good time to mention there are not nearly enough good Bigfoot themed horror movies, though nothing could really live up to the sheer terror I felt when I heard Leonard Nimoy narrate "In Search of Sasquatch" in 1978. At one point Bigfoot drags a guy wearing a bigfoot mask (to scare his friends) off to his cave, so, yes, if you were wondering if they were going to skip over the Bigfoot-sodomy angle, they didn't. Bigfoot is definately spending a good part of this movie nailing that guy in his lady-Bigfoot mask. George Kennedy is wearing overalls. Adorable and he killed seven Nazis with his bare hands on the eastern front. Yeah, that's right, he paratrooped into Stalingrad because Normandy wasn't intense enough for him FUCK YOU WIKIPEDIA, GEORGE KENNEDY IS A WAR HERO!!!!! And if you know CREEPSHOW 2 this seems like his wheelhouse, clothing-wise. He says "THere's a thing out here. It took my little girl. I couldn't stop it then, but I'm gonna stop it now." That is both a good summary of the film and the subtitle of Heidi Cruz's father's autobiography. Political! We settle into a lot of boring direct-to-video level boobie and innuendo junk as the teens settle in for the night. I'm guessing one of the reasons this movie was greenlit was that they got a Penthouse pet (Michelle Bauer) Hello, 1988, you were pretty hot in a big-haired Sam Kinison kind of way! and knew they could drop at least 15 minutes of late 80s VHS slow motion lingerie massage in there. Buddy is playing around with some advanced Squatch-sound equipment and the soundtrack (and presence of girl towling off after a shower) tells me its time for some Bigfoot action. Buddy takes this as a chance to feel her up, which is exactly what the Buddy-from-Just-One-of-The-Guys that I know and love would do. and FUCK BIGFOOT JUT KILLED BUDDYFROMJUSTONEOFHTEGUYS!!! What the fuck purpose could there be to watching the rest of this? ILOVE YOU BUDY!!! After this we just get Bigfoot stalking and killing random hikers Jason style including a nice head-tearing-off which really hits home because that is exactly the shit Nimoy warned me about. Also a disembowling with a dull stick which Nimoy didn't say a godamned thing about! But this goes on awhile and it pretty badly done with the sad synth score doing most of the lifting while we just watch people run around acting scared. Now, I mean, we know something is fishy when we see Bigfoot disabling an explosive device but who knew... at 11:04, approximately 64 minutes into an 80 minute movie, the following happens (from the evil lying Wikipedia): - It is later discovered that one of the campers came there to find his uncle. His uncle is later found to be the Bigfoot, and - that a bigoted Catholic priest used him (turned him into Bigfoot) for his own evil plans. - Actually, the priest thinks an alien who arrived from an unknown planet 100 years ago is an angel who is here to be served by him. - and to do this work he is creating a horde of mindless zombies, - to defend the hidden spacecraft inside the cave they used to hide it. The living fuck???? All of that is just sort of vomitted out of the 15 minutes or so of this movie.. Also we find the guy in the bigfoot mask who has been literally butt-raped into submission by Bigfoot and he just kind of expires from sheer rectal exhaustion (which is a thing. It's called R.E. in the squatch-chaser community). And hey, ZOMBIE BUDDY FROM JUST ONE OF THE GUYS!!!!!! Somehow this all leads to Brain guy from late-era MST3K FUCK YOU M KNIGHT SHYAMALAN...you lazy fucker, I demand you wathc DEMONWARP to get your twist mojo back because this was 10 times more satisfyng than the ending to THE VILLAGE and made more sense than the ending to SIGNS. And everyone remember to take a moment in the next few days to honor the sacrifices of George Kennedy, who singlehandedly saved the crew of PT-109 after it was torpedoed by the VietCong at the Alamo. And if Wikipedia says otherwise, you know who you really trust.

FTFY

I think the way Cody Rhodes handled this is commendable. Told them what he wanted, got told no, peaced out. Way better than sticking around and doing the passive aggressive or whine to the internet approach like way too many do. Look how he put all the Bucks but Bunkhouse. He knows his daddy ain't around to save him from The Stud Stable.

Just watched "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story" for the first time since it was in theaters. That movie is so, so, so, so great. It's one of the funniest movies I can remember watching. It's so slept on. I don't think I've ever actually talked with anyone other than my wife about what an amazing movie it is. John C. Reilly deserved every award.

Vince finally saw Lost. Wrestlemania is going to end with Dolph dying with "Not Becky's Boat" written on his hand.

You say he's that old, but we all know Drake younger.

If he's the younger brother, he should be called Secundo, not Primo.

Matrix/D-Man is a young Canadian guy wrestling for Zero-1 and documenting it in a vlog type way. Shogun Okamoto is another IGF refugee. Jordynne Grace is wrestling Sonya Strong next month, someone is clearly reading my thoughts.

I wouldn't mind a Quantum Leap reboot/remake....

Wade Barrett raises the steaks:

Shango jokes have been a regular feature on his Twitter account even longer than that. Jokes aside, it's really hard to see Wade wanting to do the US Indy scene at all really. Curious as to what he will do.

I am going to laugh a lot when the WWE signs half the guys on Cody's list before 8/19

Cody listed all those potential opponents of his. Wade, in response, only listed Papa Shango. I want to say that Barrett once tweeted a fake spoiler that Shango was going to be in the Rumble, as if looking forward to facing him. So hey, continuity in fantasy booking.

His medicine got taken when NYM won the series. And the difference between throwing inside to a guy and behind a guy is nowhere near the same deal. We will never know if Familia didn't feel comfortable throwing in, because Utley tomahawked the first pitch he threw him. Syndergaard had his opportunity in the game he HR'd twice in 3 weeks ago. It wasn't a big enough deal then? He saw Utley 4 times that night and sat him down all 4 times. I would take greater pleasure in giving a guy an ohfer every time I saw him than if I drilled him once.

A personal checklist of what they'll do now that they're out of the WWE machine.

The last person drafted will be Heather Slater.

Since Titanes en el Ring was mentioned, I had to check some out. This is completely endearing. La Momia actually looks terrifying and I'm sure haunted many of these kids' nightmares. There are like ten thousand of them, all completely entranced by an out-of-shape dude that looks like a bootleg Tiger Jeet Singh getting literally stiff-armed by a guy in a mummy costume.

"He said wrestler twice. Job him to Santino for a month."

Last night against Familia? You don't think it crossed his mind that he couldn't pitch inside to the guy? Guy broke a guy's leg on an incredibly dirty play and gets protected from having to take his medicine? Bullshit.

Because if you watch a lot of Warriors games, you'll see how inconsistent Klay is. His three can get really flat and he'll abuse the back iron too often. There are a tonne of guys in the league that can defend and hit threes. While Klay isn't a 3 and D guy, those are his strengths. There isn't anybody in the history of basketball that does what Steph does. This is from one of my favourite fivethirtyeight articles:

Caraway is an interesting matchup for him. He is someone who usually fights for the entirety of the fight. He's a pretty decent wrestler and submission grappler. Sometimes, Sterling starts slow in fights. However, when he turns it up, it's very hard to stop. Caraway has had trouble with fighters who beat him to edging out rounds and people who are physically stronger than him. I remember his loss to Brandao on TUF was brutal and probably one of the most sided fights I've seen on the show. He got smoked in that fight. At 135, he has had a better go in the strength department. If Caraway can steal round 1 somehow and slow Sterling from switching gears, it could get interesting. If Sterling stops his takedowns and gets his offense going, it could get really ugly for Caraway. Again, really looking forward to how this plays out.

I mean, I don't think it's unreasonable because of how good the shooting feels in the campaign. The campaign is like, an alternate solution to all of the questions that Call of Duty was originally an answer to (how do we make ammo management interesting, how do we stop the health hunting loop, what does "a level" mean). The multiplayer is just them going "nah COD is right tho." Two weapons, character classes, unlocks, etc. It's a very notably tired conceit in a game that is otherwise ecstatic and fresh. And! Considering how much I like Quake, that they made an FPS that's that fast and then made structure around it that I don't want to touch ever again sort of bums me out. I guess we still have to figure out the way forward after the COD multiplayer model.

If Ambrose had IT, he lost it.

And Mitch 2 is a fake relative, like Mitch Anderson.

I read he's going to go on the lecture circuit and talk about female empowerment and how to properly treat co-workers to get the best out of your managerial system. Baylor's already booked him.

I will always remember Demolition in '89 being one and two, but instead of standing around like a couple pansies they started whooping each other until the next guy came in. I was just a pup but I know I thought "those are real blokes right there".

Everything about Rusev on this show was incredible. His promo about Kalisto, the match, itself was just the right amount of hope for Kalisto while still maintaining his dominance. In Canada, they're just now running Lucha Underground Season 1 and we just got to wear Alberto Del Rio shows up, and he's so awesome, and so seemingly genuinely touched by the crowd reactions and his promos are full of fire and good. It's just a contrast to his WWE run, so far. Though, to be fair to him, WWE really messed it up by having him be the surprise opponent to take the title off Cena (Seemingly a face pop), then putting him in that confusing angle with Coulter, then turning him subtly heel, then turning him full heel with the LON, then breaking away from the LON with no discernible gimmick or push. I kinda wish he'd come out to stop the beatdown of Kalisto tonight. BTW, this is all a long-winded way of saying that I actually thought ADR wasn't bad on Smackdown against Ryder, that the match was pretty fun and it's probably the closest he's come to matching that LU energy that he had. Miz-Cesaro was lots of fun. I was curious how Miz was going to beat Cesaro without hurting him, and they did it perfectly, with Cesaro repeatedly crushing him, then Cesaro going into the exposed turnbuckle for the win. That was perfectly acceptable 50/50 booking: Cesaro got the MITB win, Miz gets some shine back with his tainted win. BTW, I am really loving everything Miz since WM. I'd like to see a full stable around him: a big guy doing nothing to be his bodyguard, maybe a manager, maybe a new stunt double.

Again - I just want to reiterate that, in general, if you totally dig that style and think that is MOTY. Great. Just don't yell at me if I don't agree with you. Meanwhile here is bouncing D-Von

That's not Doink, that's Mad Clown from Super Punch Out!!

And, of course, the death threats are pouring in on Spencer's Twitter. I'll give this the benefit of the doubt and all, but it does look bad on paper. Not as in "this WILL be a bad story" but in a "the most deliberately anti-fascist character in all of comics, created by two Jewish men during the Holocaust is being aligned with a group generally known for being Nazi fascists" kind of bad. It's a lot harder to spin than "Peter Parker is dead and replaced by one of his worst villains" IMO.

Fuck I miss HUSTLE.

This is what happens when you say Mattitude three times

Please please please don't have two world titles. Just keep the original idea from the first brand split (which they abandoned right away) and have the world champ on both shows. Elevate the US and IC belts as show-specific titles instead.

Sure you fuckers are willing to actually contribute to TNA staying on the air but not the actual running of the fucking site. Poor poor barren PayPal account

They didn't bill Jim Rash's character with a name, which means it's possible that Dean Pelton somehow got a job at MIT and Community is in a shared universe with Marvel. <3

I'm trying to change my payment information and it's not letting me. I can't even change the credit card number or do much else. It looks like the only thing I can type in is the CV number on the back of the old card. I might have that laying around, but if not then I might as well create another account. Not sure if I'll have any luck contacting their site support. Last I heard about the site is it's not getting nearly as many people as they hoped, especially in non-Japan markets. If they're going to have English commentary for some shows, why not work with a company that can make a fully-English site?