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BEN!

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BEN! last won the day on May 29 2016

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About BEN!

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    Lexington Man OF War

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    http://BenBitchin.Blogspot.com

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    Atlanta, GA

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  1. Au Revoir Miss Bordeaux Her sensuous scent permeated through the thick smoke-filled room. "Bahh!" desperately exclaimed Fallah Bahh the massive Sumo from the Philippines as he entered. "Bahh Bahh Bahh Bahh Bahh!" he sang to the tune of Scarlett Bordeaux' familiar theme but the siren did not answer his call. "Bahh bahh bahh bahh...bahh?" he sang again. Slower almost whispering with shaky trepidation as the smoke slowly dissipated and with it the last lingering scent of her. "Bahh." His lower lip trembled. The realization that his muse, tag team partner, and his friend was truly gone. He was now alone. Alone in this chaotic galaxy where some things wood were also metal. Alone. A lone tear rolled down his cheek. Alone. When a salvo of saliva shot into his face from the side creating a deluge of rage from within the proud Filipino warrior. "Where's your bitch now, fatboy!" screamed the vile Sami Callihan the leader of the evil quartet known as OVE, Ohio Versus Everything. His mimicking henchman the deplorable Jake Crist handed his leader a microphone while the massive Madman Fulton wielded a video camera. "This is not Rolando Melendez, fake news reporter. He's on special assignment in The Undead Realm." The group all cackled. "This is Sami Callihan, Hashtag The Draw bringing you this special report. Scarlett Bordeaux is gone and she ain't never coming back." The fourth member Dave Crist gesticulated silently in an unsavory snakelike manner. "And in breaking news, Fallah Bahh is about to join her. Get him boys!" With Callihan's order OVE surrounded Bahh. Bahh stood his barefooted ground ready to battle to the bitter end. OVE pounced like a group of jackals. All hope looked lost for Fallah Bahh when the room suddenly filled with smoke. Could it be? Has she returned? NO! The trio known as The Rascalz join the fray. With the help of Dez, Trey, and Wentz evening the odds, the cowardly group of OVE make a hasty retreat. A man in a dashiki enters. He is not the man who is a superstar nor the man with the most cars. He is the griot of IMPACT Wrestling. "Today, Fallah Bahh learned where there is smoke, there is fire. Fire from within. The fire of passion. The fire of friendship." Dusk turns to dawn. Over the horizon, a space shuttle launches into orbit. "A new dawn breaks for the courageous warriors of IMPACT Wrestling" concludes the griot. From the space shuttle window, a growling Sami Callihan can be seen shaking his fist.
  2. What's the point in taking shots at WWE? Don't yip and yap from the porch if you don't want to run with The Big Dog, baby girl. People calling them the number 2 wrestling company in the world before they even ran a show and now they can't compete head to head with WWE at their creative lowest cause TNA failed on Monday night almost a decade ago on a different network. It's not like running on Monday night costs more than running on Wednesday so there's no financial consequences. Cowards, I say!
  3. Tag Titles with Cena. Lost them in a battle royal by immediately eliminating his own partner.
  4. Baby Doll! That blackmailing jezebel! RIP Floyd. Dusty never hit anybody like an Arn Anderson in the balls and while Arn was laying on the mat bleeding half to death and holding his junk, get on the mic and ask him to be his tag team partner next month at the Richmond Coliseum cause he signed an open contract against The Rock 'n Roll Express.
  5. Imagine ever thinking a young boy on foreign excursion getting a silly gimmick was what led to the NJPW relationship breaking down and not the TNA World Heavyweight Champion being fucked up at NJPW's biggest show of the year. If Okada doesn't do his excursion in TNA, he probably doesn't go back to NJPW with "The Pope" D'Angelo Dinero's gimmick. LAX's deals are apparently coming up. Of all the talent they should be trying to secure those two would be at the top of my list.
  6. Cody's a natural ratshit heel. He hit his brother in the balls and then had the audacity to ask him to be his tag team partner while the man was bleeding half to death. Dustin's a good natural babyface. Sells great. Fires up big. Got that dopey sad dog face for the easy sympathy too. It's cute people think they got to choose the night. Both TNT and AEW are cowards for avoiding Mondays.
  7. I like that Vince just discovered that real sportsball doesn't go to commercial during play. This XFL relaunch is bearing fruit already. Announcing time limits would be a lot easier way to get your matches in before commercial break. If they leave the clock on the tron, it'll also give people something to count down to during Rollins' matches. I hope Double J has taught Vince about the Fox Box for the SmackDown move. WWE does currently have maybe the most athletically superior roster of all time. They've got like 300 people though so the damn numbers game works out in their favor. They can't present anybody like a star for shit though. They've got to stop listening to the nerds. For all the crying about Punk or Bryan during their pushes, they never moved the needle. The Women's Revolution resulted in a quarter of the female audience leaving. They need to just go back to basics and feed The Big Dog, baby girl. Serve him up a new heel every couple of months and push him down the marks' throats.
  8. Homeboy wants Ultimate Warrior and Yokozuna and they're sending him Nattie Neidhart. It's like WWE wants an international incident.
  9. "Good Guy" Tama Tonga. Bully should change his gimmick to Buddy Ray. Guy that goes around giving unsolicited friendly advice to people.
  10. THE RESUME OF BEN! The hours grew longer, my patience ever shorter. Finally, I returned from whence I left. The dwelling as dark as I had left it that morn. With every step, an article of clothing discarded until my now nude body fell upon the bed. My sheer respite interrupted by the light touch of finely manicured fingernails gliding over my back seemingly typing messages of lust upon my skin. Soft kisses descended upon my neck. "Argh! What are you doing here?" I hollered shockingly into the darkness. "I live here," she angrily replied. "This is my apartment, Ben." "Where do I live?" I wondered aloud. "Not here, asshole!" she said as the blistering fire in her eyes burned hotter than the incandescent light bulbs that now flooded the room with bright searing light. And that's the story of why I don't own any suits anymore.
  11. Lashley in TNA: "I beat people up and win championships." Followed up by him beating people up and winning championships. Lashley in WWE: "I love my sisters." Followed up by doing obstacle courses, getting called Bob, and slapping his ass.
  12. Generico wrestled Omega at Double Or Nothing according to Excalibur's call. And since that thread is closed, I will give my Double Or Nothing thoughts here. WILD CARD! I like a tunnel entrance but one would've sufficed. Keith Mitchell clearly missed that jib cam. If you really feel the need to do crowd shots then do it the lucha way and just shoot the pretty girls. Popping off fireworks for the Kulture City girl and putting the guy who points his finger and goes bang in the main event of the gun violence show both seem pretty tone deaf. Right opener for this show. All the men's tag matches essentially had the same finish tough. Double team head spike off the ropes. Women's four-way would've been better as a one on one with just Baker and Rae since the big girls spent most of the time on the floor and didn't look very good when they were in. Refs telegraphed the two run-ins by leaving guys dying in the ring to just stand at ringside. Jack Evans laying there having a seizure and Remsburg just casually stands outside like everything's fine. Did he take his shirt off and put on a mask and join in with those guys no one cared about? Cody Rhodes is just like Triple H in that he's a ratshit heel but he still wants the adulation of the crowd. That was good but too long and too many Crossroads counters. Aping Dusty's plea to Dustin to be his partner was a bit much. The Young Bucks ain't no Terry Funk and Bunkhouse Buck. Tony Schiavone was not interested in fist bumping Kenny Omega. Jericho and Moxley obviously signed for fancy pants with extraneous zippers. The last 3 matches were just way too long. There were spots shown in the Bucks/Luchas replay that I didn't remember at all. Just because you've got 4 hours reserved doesn't mean you have to use it all. Wins and losses are important so it's important to note that prior to DON, AEW's top title contenders in 2019 were Page at 1-1*, Jericho at 0-1, and Omega at 0-2. PAC had a bunch of wins though. PAC the real champ. *0-1 prior to the PAC match.
  13. Mark for the belt is the only conceivable motivation for wanting the 24/7 Championship. They really needed to attach some kind of financial incentive to it. They also should've introduced it in catering since that's where all the challengers usually are. They're just going to forget about it in a couple of weeks like they do everything else.
  14. Crowning the first champion by having the winner of Omega/50-year old Jericho face the winner of the free pre-show battle royal featuring a bunch of unknowns and jabrones and Glacier is a really Russo-ass way of doing things. What's the rush? Why not put a tournament together and have the finals take place on the first TV show? And how are they drawing numbers for this battle royal if Spears got his from a deck of cards. A standard deck has four 10s. And 52 cards and there's only 21 entries.
  15. Batman vs. TMNT was really good. I haven't read the comics so I don't know if it's a direct adaptation or not. Nowhere near as graphically violent as most of the DC animated movies. No cursing either. Kind of refreshing.
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