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I mean, a poster of this is pretty stupid.

CANADIAN David Onyemata goes to the New Orleans Saints in the fourth round. A rare CIS pick and the first ever Manitoba Bison selected in the NFL draft. Nobody cares about this but me probably but there you go.

Thank you so much! I haven't seen Garvin at the Von Erich Ranch in almost 20 years and I forgot how golden it was. Jimmy was just fantsstic... And man, those Von Erich's were dicks.

This talk made me go back to the Von Erich's ranch segment, which is still funny, and I proceeded to the Sunshine vs. Precious feud which Sunshine just slays. She gets on the mic and blows everyone out of the water (and btw, she is about ten times hotter than Jimmy's actual wife). You gotta love her talking about "the tapes", "the medical records", "I did things for you that I wouldn't have ever done"; makes Garvin look super sleazy because your gears start turning about what the tapes and the things are -- likely of a sexual nature. EDIT: Oh yeah, this stuff also aired on a Christian network! The '80s were a different time...

Guys can we stop fighting about whether Westerosian climate change is caused by the actions of White Walkers or is a natural process and just focus on creating Valeryan ore fracking jobs.

If Kevin Owens ever gets a top run, 3.0 will be the ones who get to be his flunkie heaters.

He's a great heel and judging by your post he's doing a fine job.

Gonna start this with the song that made me think of the idea in the first place

Also, claiming Brian Burke is a totally neutral observer is the most blatant attempt at trolling me anyone has made in 2016 so far, and I salute you for the effort. You're a good fellow.

I think the narrative is to stop rewarding consistent failure. Brian Burke, a totally neutral observer in this process, was just on SportsNet and said as much. Who am I to argue with such a fine looking individual? I'm still unsure of how Edmonton's consistent terrible play and management is in your blind spot. Again, no team leaning on a 18 year old to turn around a decade's worth of rot is going to find instant success.

The dude is a genius. He parlayed a babysitting gig with the greatest team ever in to a head coaching job for multiple years. He will literally never be a hotter commodity. This is like when the 9th man on an NBA champion leaves to sign with the Bucks for 3/31m. Sure, he's going to be terrible and he won't win any games, but you gotta take the cash when you can get it. People don't offer to pay you millions of dollars every day.

After Raining Blood, this is the song I immediately think of when the subject of best closing tracks is brought up:

FTFY

I've re-watched it six times now just to try and get it in perspective (one tends to over-rate the most recently viewed stuff just because the details are freshest in one's mind); thing is, this holds up. Probably in my top-five all-time. Just improvable, sure one might have wished for a deeper backstory and feud, but for what it was, the farewell match of a beloved babyface and the introduction of a soon-to-be equally beloved champion, it was perfect. Zayn looked super strong in defeat and Nakamura won over the crowd as only he can. The crowd certainly helped. but you could have had this match in an empty arena and it still would have hit *****; both guys were just so perfectly in their respective grooves that you would think that they had a history of working with each for years ala Sami and KO. I'll keep my rating to "top five", but the truth is I've got a feeling that in one year, three years, five years, etc. I'll still feel equally strongly about this match. Just about as close to perfect on all levels as you can get. When you factor in the lack of experience working together it's just fucking amazing. I used to marvel at the those matches that traveling champs Harley Race and Ric Flair could pull off with guys in different territories that they had maybe worked with a handful of times or not at all, and this trumped anything that I've seen previously. Just amazing.

I'll always hate Dwyane Wade.

Alex Wright's dick showed up in NXT Alex Wright showed up a minute later

In the end, all of them made bad choices. Chyna had emotional issues from the beginning, and she likely would have been in therapy/on medication no matter who she was with or what she chose as a career. Being that her career at the time was pro wrestling, it accelerated her problems. That the other woman involved was the boss' daughter and she had no recourse only made things worse in Chyna's fragile psyche. In about one year, she went from being a pretty big-time celebrity with a loving live-in boyfriend to said boyfriend dumping her for a rich girl and losing her career over it. Again, that's likely how Chyna felt regardless of what actually happened. Perception equals reality. If she believed it, it was true. And so the two things that meant the most to her were gone. She felt like she was left with nothing when everyone else lived happily ever after. And all those feelings of being the so-called ugly duckling resurfaced tenfold. The issue isn't that Hunter decided to be with Stephanie. I can certainly appreciate Chyna's hurt over that, but that choice is made every day by lots of people. The problem is that it's pretty clear Hunter hadn't formally ended things with Chyna, meaning that he was essentially cheating on her. Now, Hunter may not see it that way. He may feel that he had emotionally detached himself from that relationship. Maybe he even told Chyna in so many words that they were over. But communication broke down somewhere along the way. Hunter had to have known what Chyna's mindset would be over this. He wasn't responsible for her mental health, but I wonder how clear and firm he was in letting Chyna know everything. There was simply no way for Chyna to stay with WWF/WWE after the breakup. Not with her issues, not with her probably feeling stupid about the whole situation. Not with seemingly everyone else knowing about Trips/Steph before her. The environment was too toxic, and she would have to leave sooner rather than later, though it could have been on better terms. And none of this factors in Stephanie's possible behavior during this time. I'm not accusing her of anything, but we just don't know how she handled all this. She was fairly young at the time, so it wouldn't be a surprise if she was something of a brat about it--but even saying that with qualifiers is unfair to her. I don't think any of the three handled the situation just right. But only two had the psychological resources to deal with the pressure. And the one who didn't had no one who knew how to truly help her navigate those choppy waters. Even if HHH wanted to help her, Chyna accused him of some nasty stuff, none of which can be proven and only came from a long-suffering ex looking to lash out. Bridges were burned and now have no chance to be rebuilt. Chyna is a classic example of someone who didn't start herself out on the wrong road, but also didn't take the best detour to stop her descent. I think she did try to move forward, to be happy. But her psyche was so damaged at that point. Only long-term hospitalization would have likely helped, and that didn't seem to ever be an option for her or anyone close to her. A lovely person couldn't get past her demons and lost the war of life. That's all that really matters. And it's very sad that she couldn't see herself as the wonderful woman she clearly was.

TNA spoiler:

Ah, the Bull Dempsey tactic.

As soon as it was suggested, I knew my nomination:

Since the EPSN Poll is hilariously one-sided. 70/30%. I figured I would do the same poll here. Own your vote. I barely watch the NBA now, but I watched it a lot more in Jordan's era and I'd still choose Golden State because they just seem to be a way better overall team. Once you get past Jordan, and a 2nd tier Pippen you just have a lot of random pieces that all clicked. Golden State seems to have a lot better overall actual team as well as starting lineup. Now, their defense is another story.

The Total Extreme Wrestling 2016 demo hits Monday (perhaps even as early as Sunday night for us North Americans) and I cannot be more excited for it. You can play with any mod as many times as you want for up to two months of game time. The full game comes out a week later on May 2nd. Price is $35 USD. The features that developer Adam Ryland revealed in his journal throughout February and March were stunning, ranging from giving users the choice to disable a lot of the complexities that turned them off of TEW to finally fulfilling a lot of the bigger requests. Here are a few highlights: LINK TO THE JOURNAL WITH ALL 352 FEATURES DETAILED EWR-like simplicity! A lot of people never made the jump from EWR's basic booking structure to TEW's more advanced simulation style of management because there was just too much shit to do and worry about. There are a bevy of options to disable a lot of the penalties TEW has added since switching from EWR. DFA, I know this was an issue you've talked about and you're definitely not alone. Here are the options you can disable: Show length penalty (shows can now be any length and not receive a penalty for being too short or too long) Match-to-angle ratio penalty (WWE in the attitude era having too many matches and not enough angles, for instance) Worker complaints for being left off shows Match aims requirements (for example, needing a certain number of comedy matches or what not. This is a new feature to TEW 2016) Momentum (workers needing to be built up via wins and positive actions in angles) Sex appeal (needing attractive women on your show if you're mainstream, again a new feature for 2016 called the "sausage fest penalty") Worker overuse (if you use a jobber/undercard worker too much, you'd get penalized) There are more from TEW 2013, in which a lot of the complexities can be turned off. Autobooker (even more EWR-like features!) Alliance champions so you can now recreate a touring NWA champ (fuck yes! This will make the Death of the Territories mod starting in '83 even more amazing!) More control over development territories This is both an excellent addition and probably the biggest disappointment for most fans, as many expected to be able just to run NXT/other developmental promotions but that's not happening. Instead, you have pretty much full control of who works for your child company, their push, tag teams, titles, etc. Just can't book the shows, unfortunately. Revamped networks (you can recreate WWE Network, SNME-like specials) Figureheads/company aces Including main event babyfaces sometimes complaining when you want them to turn heel because of the loss in merchandise revenue Hall of Fames for each promotion (on top of the general Hall of Immortals) Much more realistic backstage environment Wrestlers' court (featuring Judy Bagwell!) Cliques Toxic workers (brother) Nepotism Wrongful termination Rehab Interventions Scumbag owners (AKA the Ian Rotten Effect) Young workers demanding raises if you lock them into long contracts For me, the most intriguing features are all about making the AI more aggressive and smarter (and the morale changes). The game world should develop in a far more organic and dynamic way now. I'm also working on a modern day mod for the game. Instead of one person just making all of the ratings calls, somebody had the excellent idea of creating a forum dedicated to discussing ratings and finding a consensus. It's a very small community with one mod maker posting a lot of workers and mostly me making suggestions, but the WWE section had a decent number of people inputting ideas. The more voices the better, particularly for those that watch lots of Japanese/Euro/smaller US indies, joshi, or lucha libre. Even if you just watch WWE, you'd be more than welcome as the more discussion and more voices, the better end product. Here's a link to the forum. When the game is out, people can post here about their saves and what not too. The world needs to know how you'd book Roman Reigns! How many world championships does Cesaro have in your game?! Can you save TNA from both Nazis and bankruptcy?! CAN YOU GET ROH BETTER LIGHTING (this is an actual feature in the game ffs)?! CAN YOU BOOK PWG SO THAT SUPER DRAGON DOESN'T GET A CONCUSSION EVERY TIME HE COMES BACK?! CAN YOU BRING ORDER TO AAA?! The questions are limited only by your imagination. I know a lot of folks love the fictional universe that the game comes with, but I've never really been able to get into it. It's pretty darned neat though.

That should be a fun co main event for that card.

There is a end-credits scene.

Happy Table Top Day, everybody.

Gods, this was glorious.

Couldn't happen to a nicer bunch. I call it Deandre Karma

So after Clippers-Blazers (Austin Rivers got some color, buhgawd!) I watched the November 1987 Saturday Night's Main Event. I've long been of the opinion Savage should have been the face in the Megapowers Explode angle, but realize with No Holds Barred coming out in '89, Hogan had to still be the company's face, BROTHER. That said, this particular SNME, with Macho and Hogan in two different showcase matches, supports my belief Vince got Megapowers Explode wrong. In an awesome match against Bret Hart, Savage plays an excellent face. He's in peril because of ankle injury (sold brilliantly), but still an ass-kicker. He spends the match fighting Hart, but also protecting Elizabeth from Jimmy Hart and The Anvil. The crowd is white-hot for him and you could see the seeds planted for his title win a few months later at WM IV. Hogan's in the next match against King Kong Bundy. Andre and Heenan both interfere, grabbing Hulk's ankles at different points in the match (including Brain, setting up a Bundy win (!!!) by DQ), but KKB himself works clean. Hogan, on the other hand, cheats his ass off throughout, then pummels Heenan post-match. The crowd's still very much hot for Hulk; as much as Savage, but definitely not more. Hulk could have easily and believably been built slowly to a heel turn for WM V. Hell, you don't even have to change much about the angle except how the two guys are portrayed in vignettes and commentary. I think turning the reins over to Savage as the ace of the company would have been better for business long-term. EDIT: Meant to point out, in a promo after the Hogan match, Hercules points out how much Hogan cheated and that it's no different than the Heenan Family cheating. Interesting to see it mentioned so clearly. I wonder if there were plans to turn Hogan that got scrapped.

My character issue with Tunsil is owning up to getting paid. That shit is an omerta situation. Eric Dickerson to this day takes the fifth on those questions. College kid smokes weed is less than nothing. On another note, Panthers have drafted exactly like the Panthers thus far. I'm sure it works out but I would have preferred some o line help and/or a WR. BUT In Gettleman We Trust.

I was always a big fan of the Jimmy Garvin/Precious pairing whether he was a heel or face. As a heel, he kind of had that Miz thing going where he called himself Gorgeous when he clearly wasn't but he had a hot (for the 80's anyway) wife that you couldn't have. As a face, he was the loving husband fending off sleazeballs like Flair who insulted his wife.

I don't want to add a a new post to the Takeover thread, which is pretty much done with, so I'll add this. Just re-watched Nakamura/Zayn from Takeover. The match, the atmosphere, everything was outstanding. And if you were in the crowd for that, I love you very much for it. The "Fight forever" chant in particular gave me massive goosebumps that I just can't shake off. So great, so unbelievably wonderful, I have to see this again immediately. Zayn had a wonderful sendoff and Nak looked like a billion bucks. Just loved this so, so much.

I would like to extend congratulations to Cody Kessler on his one and a half to two years as starting QB of the NFL's Cleveland Browns.

The purple shirt dude with the unnecessary accessories deserves some of the blame for that lost. Not sure how much, but it's a percentage.

I went to a 2pm showing and it was packed. I thought it was fantastic. I really enjoyed the story and the action sequences were top notch.

Now that we're officially in the realm of "I want to see shit happen in wrestling only to piss off wrestling fans I don't like", I have a sudden desire to see Becky Lynch make a one-shot return to NXT to lose to Blue Pants.

Bucky should wear the mask more often. The combination of the haircut and Stan's face has always looked a little goofy to me.

There will be a regime change. But not the one you want.

An old army buddy invited me to join a new Dungeons & Dragons game he's setting up. I've never played it before, but I've always wanted to give it a try. So... a very minor bit of swell news, but I'm irrationally excited.

Just a reminder that your parents are never too old to embarrass you

Add "broke a Japanese table" to Big Mike's legend

Best dad ever.

The less the Usos are on my TV screen the better

I'm laughing so hard at the people bitching about the crowds singing a song to Bayley, and completely missing the meaning behind the song. Of course a number of the people here would look at it as objectifying Bayley as a sexual object, while ignoring that MAYBE, just maybe the crowds sing that song to her because they like her and they've chosen her as "their" girl. You know, like Daniel Bryan was to a lot of people in 2014. But, hey, whatever, if she has a vagina it must be trying to objectify her! Meanwhile, maybe 1 or two people have ever called out the guy that does the RAW threads for posting ass crack and tit screengrabs. That's okay, apparently - but singing a song? HELL NO! Also, I like how the crowds booing John Cena must mean they're "Smarky McSmarks" or neckbeards instead of, y'know, actively disliking his work and booing him accordingly. Such a negative view inside this wrestling bubble.