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Dolfan in NYC

2016 NBA Playoffs: OCTOFINALS

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I'm lowkey sad that I don't get to see the Clippers struggle to beat a weakened Grizzlies team.  I take much joy in Z-bo making Griffen his woman.  Also, OKC might be the best matchup for us first round.  All of the regular season games were competitive, and Carlisle is going to have Donovan's lunch, coaching wise.

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Rockets ready to shock the world!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's my foolproof plan for the Rockets to beat the Warriors.

Game 1 - embrace the heeldom.  Everyone hates the Rockets, so stop pandering to the masses hoping that they'll like you.  They won't.  Go straight bad boys.  Hard playoff fouls.  Hurt them.  Punish them.  They think they're all that.  Remind them that they aren't just going to get handed a trophy.  Punish them.  Each player gets six fouls.  Make them count.  I'm pretty sure Steph Curry has never taken a punch in his life.  Rockets will lose this game by 40, but they'd lose it regardless, so beat the shit out of them. 

Game 2 - When GS comes out trying to show how tough they are, flop like maniacs.  play clean defense, but flop like mad men on all the moving screens.  Harden goes for 40 (20-20 FT) and the Rockets steal a shocker.

Game 3 - Fight dirty.  Make Klay bleed out of his ear again.  Stick your leg under every Steph jumper so he twists an ankle.  Punch Draymond in the dick.  Dwight goes for 20 and 20 and gets ejected for some bullshit, despite all the dirty shit going, he'll still get techs for really dumb shit that's really not all that dirty.  This will be the one game that Ariza and Beverley hit threes. Rockets take a 2-1 game.

Game 4 - Dwight suspended, and the refs don't call the Ws for anything, and the Rockets can't buy a call.  Ws by 40 again.

Game 5 - Harden and Dwight somehow team up for 30 turnovers between them.  Ws by 50.

Game 6 - Rockets dig deep, force a Game 7.  Dwight accidentally elbows Curry in the face and Curry nearly dies from the bloodloss.  Dwight suspended again. 

Game 7 - Steph is a gametime decision, eventually plays with a mask.  Pat Beverley accidentally grabs at the mask while trying to pick up a loose ball.  Harden scores or assists on every single point for the Rockets and plays all 48.  Harden scores the go ahead free throws in the final seconds, then blocks the Klay game winner.  Steph Curry blames his coach and worthless teammates for not giving him the ball at the end. 

Or, as my brother in law put it, break Steph Curry's leg in Game 1.

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I must admit, punching Curry in game 1 and then flopping like maniacs in game 2 is a pretty solid strategy.

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The Hot Takes if Curry was taken out would be epic in their outrage. . . .

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I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'd love to see how SAS would react.  Because it's literally one of two takes, and they're polar opposites: 

1) I demand the public crucifixion of Player X because of his unwarranted attack on Steph Curry - whose tears hold the cure for cancer. 

2) I am completely okay with Player X taking out Steph Curry - whose cocky swagger finally got the better of him.

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I can't believe that with all of the shitheads in the sports world. Steph Fucking Curry is the one to bring you guys together to form a mutual hate society. :lol:

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6 hours ago, Lawful Metal said:

Rockets ready to shock the world!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I really need a photoshop of James Harden falling through the wall and his glittery storm trooper helmet hitting the floor.

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2 hours ago, Dewar said:

I can't believe that with all of the shitheads in the sports world. Steph Fucking Curry is the one to bring you guys together to form a mutual hate society. :lol:

He's the only one who lets his toddler daughter cut his promos.  To be fair, Riley Curry is the Ric Flair of the preschool NBA set.

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7 hours ago, Dolfan in NYC said:

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'd love to see how SAS would react.  Because it's literally one of two takes, and they're polar opposites: 

1) I demand the public crucifixion of Player X because of his unwarranted attack on Steph Curry - whose tears hold the cure for cancer. 

2) I am completely okay with Player X taking out Steph Curry - whose cocky swagger finally got the better of him.

You say that as if SAS wouldn't say both in the same breath.

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A. Stephen A. Smith breathes?
B. The title of this thread means the winning teams all have to live with the Octomom chick wherever she is these days.

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I fucking LOVE watching Steph and the Warriors play. I haven't built up any real hatred for them.  Now if they were to meet the Celtics in a series then things change but that's pretty unlikely.

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That's the thing, I don't have any personal animosity towards them.  They are seem like mostly good dudes, I just loathe watching them play.

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Toronto sports media be like "Let's all stare aghast at this potential worst-case scenario as if it's already happened."

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So does anyone foresee any upsets?  For me, I've really only got Charlotte over Miami.  Indiana CAN catch Toronto, I just don't see it.  I can't even homer my way into believing that Dallas does any better than stretching OKC to 6.

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14 hours ago, RandomAct said:

That's the thing, I don't have any personal animosity towards them.  They are seem like mostly good dudes, I just loathe watching them play.

I love watching them play. There's always a chance something insane happens.

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3 hours ago, RandomAct said:

So does anyone foresee any upsets?  For me, I've really only got Charlotte over Miami.  Indiana CAN catch Toronto, I just don't see it.  I can't even homer my way into believing that Dallas does any better than stretching OKC to 6.

Hey, Detroit did win three out of four against Cleveland in the regular season, including two out of three that matte.... Nope I can't do it.

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5 hours ago, RandomAct said:

So does anyone foresee any upsets?  For me, I've really only got Charlotte over Miami.  Indiana CAN catch Toronto, I just don't see it.  I can't even homer my way into believing that Dallas does any better than stretching OKC to 6.

Rockets over Warriors~!

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The Rockets are the favorites in your world.

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27 minutes ago, Ryan said:

The Rockets are the favorites in your world.

I'm not saying it's likely.  I'm saying it's possible.

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Dwight's going to attempt that move Hakeem is pulling off in your signature and tear up his knees.

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Some nasty, ugly ball in Toronto to kick off the playoffs. This is going to be a really physical series. 

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Goddammit Raptors. Lowry and and Derozan better have gotten  that out of their system and come correct on Monday night.

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