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Clearly most of us need cheering up:

I will apologize for two things. One, if this has been posted. Two, if this is too much... but I will say it had me dyin

You know, if you're going to make posts like this, I'm going to ask that you also include a picture of Statler and Waldorf.

A.J. tweet: "I may or may not have asked Rey for an autograph… for a friend…also named AJ." I think her friend is actually named MARK, AMIRIGHT?

CM Punk has truly mastered the D.E.N.N.I.S. System.

One way or the other, yes. *rimshot*

Brad MaddoxVerified account ‏@BradMaddoxIsWWE Just got back froce thir hospistlr. ., id doing preyty goos 'thaensk bigshnow# https://twitter.com/BradMaddoxIsWWE/status/391387684352299008

If TNA holds a PPV and noone is around to watch it, does anyone still chant "This is awesome"?

If the most successful wrestler of all time is an admitted mark, I think it is okay to be a mark. I hope that with HHH in charge, the whole self-loathing professional wrestler thing can be toned down.

So Mark Henry, Mark Canterbury and The Undertaker are going to rule the planet? They already do. *ahem* "Now turn your head and COUGH!"

GOD DAMN IT, I SAID....

Inherit =/= inherent

Sir, your music is just too loud.

Don't even get me started on the daughter. They had what was actually a perfectly good story about two kids who both feel guilty over something that wasn't their fault, and who are both being "helped" to death by their families and by people who maybe secretly or not so secretly blame them, going on a road trip to deal with shit. That, in itself, is fine. Almost reasonable, you know? Throw some money at Gus Van Sant and you've got yourself something there. But, nope. We've got to add "Is he a killer????? ZOMG!!!!??? What is going to happen to these two characters that nobody cares about????? WILL WE LEARN THE TRUTH NEXT WEEK???????"

Does the tram stall there so Jaws can jump out at you?

Today's Adventures in Griefing features this Southern asshole who was giving his buddy shit because his buddy had a gay brother. Some of the most unfunny jokes you've ever heard. "Do you think your brother's gayness might have rubbed off on you?" and "I saw this dude looked just like you in Wal-Mart carrying a big-ass bra. Think it might've been your brother?" I noticed he was nearby (Sandy Shores airfield) so I headed over, then ran him over on the runway. He bitched a bit in chat about it while I drove away. Then he said "Oh dayum, a jumbo jet" (it was a Shamal) and headed for that. I came back and threw a sticky bomb on the jet and blew it up. He bitched more. A bit later, he got in a Buzzard and tried to hunt me down. He was using missiles which don't lock on, and he wasn't getting close. Finally, he got low to the ground along the road and flew slowly towards me. By the time he started getting sorta close, he was in rifle range and I gunned him and his other buddy in the chopper down. Since the chopper was so low, it landed safely, and he said (on chat, for everyone to hear) that they should get back in. I put the sticky bomb back on and am halfway to Vinewood by the time he and his buddy have gotten in it. Boom.

So since its pretty clear we are going to get a real Americans/matadores feud coming up pretty soon, I have decided I need to see two things on my TV: Cesaro seeing how far he can throw Torito, and the Matadores bringing in the black sheep of the family, Cassandro, who kisses Zeb during a six man tag.

https://twitter.com/Globe_Pics/status/392380135640674304/photo/1/large Did this actually happen? Fuck I'd be scared to death up there. Like hell I'm going near the edge.

"You know how you're happy and excited to be a part of the wrestling business? Yeah, cut that crap out."

I could totally see a situation where Angle sent a feeler out to WWE, knowing that TNA is on life support. WWE tells him, "We'll hire you back IF you shoot decline their HOF induction." So he did, and the H's runs into Vince's office this morning and sez, "Vince, that joke I played on Angle ... it fucking worked!" And they laugh their assess off for a little while, "Bwa-HAHAHAHAHAHAHaHaHaHahahahaha ... hahaha ... ha ha ... heh ... heh heh ... ahem, whew ... yeah, we're never hiring him back."

So that's where the Real Americans got there catchphrase.

I realize your second point is grammatically correct, but apparently I'm so used to people misusing perfect that it reads awkwardly. Ditto. I'm so used to reading "most perfect" here, even though the "most" is unnecesssary.

The lamb cut your brake lines.

Okay, I'm sold. This video....this fuckin video... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-DJwgjlous&feature=c4-overview-vl&list=PLjLZ9WgFlFny16afsozMPbnZ2tOgv6b2M

Renee Montoya has been busy. /Of course it'd have to be as a surrogate mother(s)

I will accept nothing less than 15 camels, and 5% of the gross profits from any further work. Warmest of congratulations Raziel. Now, you just have to watch out when they pee.

Scott Hall looks like he's 150 pounds, and holy shit does Cody look gigantic next to his dad. Holy shit - the sight of him WITH HAIR is shocking. And he looks like Fat X-Pac with that gear and headband.

*Groans in laughter* I'd punch you in the arm, Shaun, if I could.

Goddman fucking plottwist motherfuckers. I was really enjoying the long-term idea tht Carrie's character arc was from being a person with the power of huge institutions behind her who manipulated desperate, cornered little people into getting what she needed and not caring about what happened to them to Carrie being a desperate, cornered little person being manipulated by people with the power of huge institutions behind them into getting what they want...and then somehow working her way out of ti. But no....PLOT SANTA CLAUS IS HERE WITH A PRESENT!!!! EVERYTHING YOU SAW THE LAST THREE WEEKS WAS ONLY A PLOT THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN NOT A PLOT THAT WILL BE....THANKS TO PLOT SANTA CLAUS!!!!!!! MERRY SAULMAS, EVERYBODY!!! HAPPY HANNUSAUL!!!! HAVE A BLESSED SAULMADAN!!!!!!!

You can't blame Punk though. Anytime you get a chance to hang out with Bill Murray, YOU BETTER FUCKING TAKE IT!!!

That makes sense, because Blair Underwood was either giving a nuanced performance parodying other cop show leads, or he mistakenly thought he'd been cast in a 70's blaxploitation film.

The best thing about Jack Swagger was the Swagger Soaring Eagle, followed shortly by the Swaggie. He'd be best utilized as a midcard, blustering jock comedy heel.

Yeah, his strikes looked better in Stripes.

Election being this low is criminal, and you should all be ashamed of yourselves.

When I was a kid, Black Friday was when we forgot to pay the electric bill.

Sinclair won't even pay to get them decent production values, they're not going to be jumping to cover people's medical bills.

Scotty had a reckless disregard for human life, but damn did it look good.

Check with Red to arrange for your infant to claim Baby C's hand in marriage. We need to get a DVDVR alliance started around here!

100) THE SANDLOT 1993 - 370 Points - 7 Votes (Highest Vote: #4 CSC) DIRECTOR: David M. Evans STARRING: Tom Guiry, Mike Vitar, Patrick Renna Placement On Original List: #194 (3 Votes) IMDB ROTTEN TOMATOES (63%) WIKI

I've always said that I would rather see five years of the WWE driven to death after being booked exclusively for my entertainment than to have decades of a solidly rated show where no more than 1/3 of the content appeals to me at any given time and is designed to draw the masses, who are terrible fucking people with miserable taste in everything. Also, that Backlund/Booker/Michaels voting was hilarious. Personally, I'd have voted for the other two if I were watching live, but to the average WWE App voter this must have looked like A. Giant Douche B. Turd Sandwich C. Kate Upton's Boobs And whoever said that that miserable camera work ruined Cesaro's incredible Khali spin was spot on. They really need to re-evaluate the camera work on this show. Surely no one likes this.

There were some decent skeches in there. The highlights for me were Keenan Thompson just outshining everyone in that Fifty Shades of Gray thing as Steve Harvey and Bobby Moynihan at the beginning of that Mornin' Miami thing: Production lady: And good morning everyone? Moyniham: Is it? Is it a good morning? The only thing that really bugged me is this weird social agreement that apparently we all have with the entertainment inudustry where we all have to pretend that Miley Cyrus is the most super desirable woman on the planet. It's like this coprorate truth, that is not at all true...but we are all forced to mime the actions and words of believing it, otherwise we will become communists of something.

If you look at his previous posts in this thread, this isn't an isolated incident.

Here they are, in fact.

Not within a week. First week, the Stud Stable return to the national scene. Second week, Buck wins the vacant TV Title in a Gauntlet Battle Royal beating Eric Young when the ref is distracted by ODB/Park scuffling with Meng/Colonel on the floor and Bunkhouse brains EY with a cowbell. Third week, Roode beats Buck for the TV Title when the ref is distracted by Meng killing Bad Influence outside the ring and EY runs in and knocks Buck out with the cowbell. Roode wants the TV Title due to the title's new gimmick being that for every week the holder successfully retains he earns a weekly bonus of $20 grand thus allowing the champion to potentially earn a $1 million bonus if they retain for a year. Roode/EGO continues feud with Aries now revolving around the TV Title. Fourth week, Colonel issues a challenge for Young to meet Buck in a cowbell on a pole match at the next PPV. Next couple of weeks show vignettes of Park training Young to climb poles and ODB showing him how she works a pole. At the PPV, EY easily gets the cowbell due to his pole training but after he whacks Buck with the cowbell and goes for the pin, Meng rams Park into the pole busting him open and causing him to lose control which distracts EY long enough to give Buck the opportunity to recover and knock Young out with the cowbell and pick up the victory. Next Impact, EY and Park say that TNA isn't big enough for all of them and issue a loser leaves town challenge to the Stud Stable. A no holds barred 'Bunkhouse Brawl' is set for the next big event. Stud Stable win. See EY and Park sadly walking out of arena. Next Impact, Borash asks ODB about EY but she hasn't seen or heard from him. Next week, cameras catch EY and Park living on the streets. When ODB is asked about it she doesn't know why EY doesn't move into the trailer with her since they are married and doesn't know why Park is on the streets since he's a rich lawyer. The next week, Borash catches up with EY and Park and we learn that EY is adapting well and has declared himself "Hobo King" and has amassed a small group of followers on the streets but Park isn't doing so well and he cracks and takes off running into the darkness. A couple of weeks later, the Stud Stable are celebrating another victory when a gang of hobos run in from the crowd. Stud Stable disposes of them easily until more hobos attack led by the Hobo King Eric Young along with his Hobo Wench Claire Lynch and followed by The Hobo Monster Abyss... Now at least four months later, #HOBOARMY. The Stud Stable/Hobo Army war continues through at least the holidays and will involve a turkey suit match and Hobo Claus. Gonna be a while before Bunkhouse For Glory and the World Title.

LOL. Hopefully it it's around his waist.

The best dude. The shittiest opinions.