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Clearly most of us need cheering up:

I will apologize for two things. One, if this has been posted. Two, if this is too much... but I will say it had me dyin

You know, if you're going to make posts like this, I'm going to ask that you also include a picture of Statler and Waldorf.

A.J. tweet: "I may or may not have asked Rey for an autograph… for a friend…also named AJ." I think her friend is actually named MARK, AMIRIGHT?

CM Punk has truly mastered the D.E.N.N.I.S. System.

One way or the other, yes. *rimshot*

Brad MaddoxVerified account ‏@BradMaddoxIsWWE Just got back froce thir hospistlr. ., id doing preyty goos 'thaensk bigshnow# https://twitter.com/BradMaddoxIsWWE/status/391387684352299008

If TNA holds a PPV and noone is around to watch it, does anyone still chant "This is awesome"?

If the most successful wrestler of all time is an admitted mark, I think it is okay to be a mark. I hope that with HHH in charge, the whole self-loathing professional wrestler thing can be toned down.

So Mark Henry, Mark Canterbury and The Undertaker are going to rule the planet? They already do. *ahem* "Now turn your head and COUGH!"

GOD DAMN IT, I SAID....

Inherit =/= inherent

Sir, your music is just too loud.

Don't even get me started on the daughter. They had what was actually a perfectly good story about two kids who both feel guilty over something that wasn't their fault, and who are both being "helped" to death by their families and by people who maybe secretly or not so secretly blame them, going on a road trip to deal with shit. That, in itself, is fine. Almost reasonable, you know? Throw some money at Gus Van Sant and you've got yourself something there. But, nope. We've got to add "Is he a killer????? ZOMG!!!!??? What is going to happen to these two characters that nobody cares about????? WILL WE LEARN THE TRUTH NEXT WEEK???????"

Does the tram stall there so Jaws can jump out at you?

I wish most wrestlers had a fraction of what Ambrose has when it comes to selling. He sold the arm for the rest of the match including that clothesline he hit after getting it worked over. He was still selling the arm later in the show when he came back out.

There really is something to be said for a 1 hour wrestling show. It just feels the perfect length. You can tell a story, you can have good matches, & you don't feel a desperate need to fill time with really uninteresting stuff. I'd sit through TNA Impact when it was an hour long, but when they felt the need to inflate it with an extra hour it just becomes such a chore. And when Raw went from 2 hours to 3 it was a similar problem. So yeah. 1 hour for wrestling needs to be more of a thing. It suits Nxt perfectly, & I'm sure Impact would benefit with less bloat.

How dare you, Sir! Antonio Cesaro is all man and a yard wide!!

Yeah, he's been wearing those for his entire WWE run, if not longer (I don't know).

I'm pretty sure Jeff George can still "make all the throws". You sick freak! He's gone and should remain that way! Oh, I thought I wouldn't hear his name ever again! Where are my smelling salts? I feel faint! Call me drunk again and I'll start PM'ing you the name "Jeff George" once a week for the rest of your life. CYBERBULLY! CYBERBULLY! I'LL GET YOU! I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE! *DUN DUN DUN* This conversation is pointless unless someone eventually kills himself. Do like Katniss and volunteer, buddy. *not really, but really, did you have to go THERE?*

Am I wrong in thinking that Bo-Zayn was better than Zayn-Swagger/Zayn-Cesaro?! Because that's totally how I'm feeling after the match. For one, the crowd was into this one more, but not in a "This is awesome!" way (which they did chant anyways but...) where they like both guys but rather because they want SO DESPERATELY for Bo to lose that they're hanging on every pinfall and start to forget to be smark-y and just got sucked into the story of the damn match. I really loved this match, where Zayn-Swagger/Cesaro were both good matches, they felt a bit like exhibitions to me: good wrestler fighting good wrestler for good wrestling. Dallas-Zayn drew me in more with the story of likable face finally getting his title shot, only to be out-manuvered by heel champion. Plus, the bumps and the near-falls were just amazing. This is the first time I've felt like Bo could work this style in WWE, because he kept up with Zayn here. I feel like Bo could be a really fun heel IC champion, lucking into victories, thinking the crowd is into him. I still think the way to go with Parker and Breeze is to team them up full-time, and gradually have them come to like each other, much like Kane-Bryan. I think it's the only hope to get Parker over with the NXT crowd, is have the Ascension beat down Breeze and Parker comes out, seemingly to add to Breeze's humiliation, but instead he saves him with his Moon-Shot palm strike (Which I actually really like!) and the next week the Ascension attacks Parker, and Breeze comes out, hesitates, then goes in and saves Parker.

Jay Cutler has muscles?

Bud Adams is out for the season. http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap2000000267395/article/tennessee-titans-owner-bud-adams-passes-away-at-90

Lance Briggs out 4-6 weeks. So expect more confusion on defense.

Schefter is saying Brandon Meriweather is going to get suspended, they're just deciding on length.

I dont wanna steal one of FSW's gimmicks, but any show will immediately be made better by the inclusion of this former Dexter alum:

Messrs. Sato (Kabuki), Saito and Hattori hit the ring in Miami.

Hogan's contract expired and he can't work a match beyond people running into his fist.

yes, it was absolutely one of the best top to bottom ufc cards, no doubt. the argument was never if Cain is one of the top heavyweights or if he won the fight. the topic on hand is his style in this fight. yes, he did what he had to do to win the fight. and yes, he dominated the #2 guy for 20+ minutes. it just wasn't terribly exciting. i think had it not followed the charisma vacuum that is a Cormier fight against a guy who has become one dimensional, it would've been received better. and i don't know how you didn't find the Cormier fight boring. i envy you in that regard, because that fight was very by-the-numbers and after the first minute there was no drama and no question what was going to happen.

And please enjoy the nightmare fuel flash-frame at the end, courtesy of your friends at Lowe's.

That covers a lot of things Throwing TDs? Throwing picks? Banging hot ladies?

http://youtu.be/RolYoLBmJYY Murray has beed hanging around Punk a little too much.

I don't know about most ridiculous, but probably my favourite ever.

I feel like that is Aaron Eckhart in every non-Dark Knight role

This new push of Langston's eventually leads to Langston/Reigns for the Undisputed Title at WrestleMania XXXIII ... that picture on the airplane is the start of it:

Yeah - Closer is what is making me realize I might be really late to the Tegan & Sara bandwagon

Sleeper top five contender Too Cold Scorpio.

Scotty had a reckless disregard for human life, but damn did it look good.

Orlando really needs to go full dickhead and retire #12 as Tobias Harris' jersey.

Wait - that's not right... 101) BARAKA 1992 - 369 Points - 4 Votes (Highest Vote: #4 Hillary) DIRECTOR: Ron Fricke Placement On Original List: #204 (2 Votes) IMDB ROTTEN TOMATOES (80%) WIKI NOTE FROM RIPPA - This is the last 4 vote movie. It was also Televiper's #1 last time. Not now. Hmm...

THE LIST SO FAR (330 - 116) HIGH VOTE LEADER BOARD Televiper -16 Rippa - 13 Newb82 - 13 Hillary - 12 KJC McMahon - 11 Yo-Yo's Roomie - 11 EricR - 10 Sagefrancis - 9 ohtani's jacket - 9 Randy - 8 execproducer - 8 New Blood - 8 UberRudo - 8 Kawada - 7 Tim Evans - 7 CSC - 7 Jingus - 7 JT - 7 Caley - 6 Control - 6 Natural - 6 Death From Above - 5 JR Goldman - 5 Kyle Casey - 5 jaedmc - 4 Brian Fowler - 4 Jason Smith - 3 Hobo Joe - 2 Hollinger - 2 Everyone is on the board now. My last update was when the list was at 225. So over a 100 movies later and there was a lot of movement. During that stretch Tim Evans didn't get one high vote. Newb82 had the most with 9. Televiper's stranglehold at the top of board may be coming to an end.

This is Memphis as fuck. Lance Russell establishes the premise, Bill Dundee thoughtfully puts it over and then Dream Machine goes into JIVE OVERDRIVE to pop the fans. Wrestling's 6-4-3 double play.

Harley Race's "Take the damn money" promo

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That's not Pitbull.

There were some decent skeches in there. The highlights for me were Keenan Thompson just outshining everyone in that Fifty Shades of Gray thing as Steve Harvey and Bobby Moynihan at the beginning of that Mornin' Miami thing: Production lady: And good morning everyone? Moyniham: Is it? Is it a good morning? The only thing that really bugged me is this weird social agreement that apparently we all have with the entertainment inudustry where we all have to pretend that Miley Cyrus is the most super desirable woman on the planet. It's like this coprorate truth, that is not at all true...but we are all forced to mime the actions and words of believing it, otherwise we will become communists of something.

In one of Dave's tweets last night he wrote the phrase "functional man on man strength" I think that could easily not mean when he thinks that means

The best dude. The shittiest opinions.