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Smackdown is... Something About A Crucifix? - 3/28/2017


Dolfan in NYC

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9 hours ago, caley said:

I forgot that I think my favourite part of the show is that they've presented Becky as the likable girl who's full of fire and seldom cheats, Naomi is the energetic likable girl who does exciting moves, Mickie is the veteran who saw the errors of her ways and now fights the bad girls, Alexa is the evil champion but she always comes out on top, Nattie is kind of a tweener in that she sometimes fights faces and sometimes not, Carmella is the heel-iest heel: bragging and dancing and never winning.  And in the background of most of the mathches you can see a young girl, probably 10-12 dressed up like Carmella with a sign that says "Moon-Walking, Trash-Talking" and it made me laugh and go "Man, kids are so weird, you never know who they're going to like."  Like what would possess any young girl to be a huge Carmella fan?!  About the only reason I could see is if they were in or around Staten Island.  But that girl had a great big sign and was super-excited when Carmella came out.

As a side bar, depending on how big of a fan they are, Carmella was shown to be Bayley's buddy both in character and in real life.  If their parents are NXT fans, she would have had a lot of tv time as a babyface and aligned with Enzo and Cass who were a big time babyface act in NXT.

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Maryse was burning fire into Nikki while looking at her. God, I hope they win. Who gives a shit about the post match Cena proposing for tv stuff. Let Miz and Maryse have the win. Cena gets the mainstream press for his part and Miz makes the rest of us happy. It's win/win.

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After Nikki's in-ring preening and Cena's bullshit about the lack of children at Casa Miz, I'm really struggling to figure out who is supposed to be the heel in this match. 

If I were the Miz, I'd have bailed rather than fight, too.  No way would I get to brawling in my really nice suit and risk injury a few days before WM.

I was solidly pro-Cena before but now I really hope that the Miz breaks Cena's leg with the Figure Four.

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Hmmm I think there's two reasons why people are rooting for Miz and Maryse. The first is they've been sooooo great leading up to this match.  The second is that Cena and Nikki just aren't very likable babyfaces. This is an ongoing issue with WWE.  Make no mistake, Cena had the crowd chanting his name this past week. He was awesome. But just before that the crowd was applauding Miz and Maryse for their skits. 

I don't think it's people are cheering for the heels. I think it's that nothing really makes Cena/Nikki the good guys... 

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I liked the segment between AJ Styles and Shane McMahon mainly for Styles saying this is a regular match, not the usual Shane O'Mac one. I also liked Miz TV with Miz/Maryse going up against John Cena/Nikki Bella. Miz/Maryse are really good.

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Miz/Maryse and Nikki/John works because of "shades of grey!"

No, Miz and Maryse are definitely not good. But they make great points. That Maria and Kelly back up Maryse's claim that the Bellas sabotaged other women indicates she's probably telling the truth. Nikki 100% has used her relationship with Cena to advance herself. Miz is perhaps right that Cena hasn't ever really treated Nikki properly. 

But Cena is also right to be pissed at them getting judgemental about his personal life. Maryse was wrong to taunt Nikki about the baby thing. 

Everyone involved is unlikable but strangely sympathetic at the same time.  They are all, um, complicated, three-dimensional people?

When a Russo-style feud actually is intriguing. 

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21 hours ago, Roman said:

According to Wikipedia: The stinger of a female Pepsis grossa can be up to 7 mm (1⁄4 in) long, and the sting is considered the third most painful insect sting in the world, behind only that of the bullet ant and the Warrior wasp.

I got stung by a single bullet ant when I spent a few months in a cabin in the Colombian jungle (long story). If the tarantula hawk is right behind that, count me in as frightened to the point of 'I'll trip my wife if it means that I don't get stung' of them too.

Life goals.

I assume this included gang warfare, machine guns and avenging someone's death.

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I'm pretty sure it was already mentioned, but I laughed heartily when John Cena was going on and on about the Women's revolution, and how women could main event, and do this and that... except apparently share promo time with John Cena, as Nikki just smiled and nodded her head.

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5 minutes ago, JonnyLaw said:

I'm pretty sure it was already mentioned, but I laughed heartily when John Cena was going on and on about the Women's revolution, and how women could main event, and do this and that... except apparently share promo time with John Cena, as Nikki just smiled and nodded her head.

I can't look at Nikki Bella the same after Maryse's impressions.

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3 hours ago, Matt D said:

Someone make @Bix figure out if WWE's trademarked the word "Crusix"

Bryan Alvarez losing his mind over WWE fucking up "crucifix" and then doubling down by continuing to refer to it as a "Crusix" had me laughing my ass off.

EDIT: Just to be safe, I googled "Crusix" and the only thing that really comes up are links to WWE where they spell "crucifix" as "crusix." Fucking hilarious.

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20 hours ago, Sammo~! said:

I wouldn't want to be Sting when Tarantula Hawk eventually turns on him.

Then Sting would have to find a Plan Bee.
 

3 hours ago, Reed said:

Life goals.

I assume this included gang warfare, machine guns and avenging someone's death.

Briefly, it was more of a 'either we get better or we kill ourselves on the beach' kind of deal with a former army buddy. My friend found salvation in piles of cocaine, while I simply got my head out of my ass.

(And then got my ass out of my ass, but that was because of an internal parasite. Boy, having to run in the complete fuckin' jungle nocturnal darkness with the worst case of diarrhea in civilised and uncivilised history to an outhouse in the actual fucking jungle really puts all those spiders, centipedes and other creepy crawlies into perspective. Suddenly you don't care anymore about brushing a forearm-sized spider off the splintery wooden toilet seat in a hurry and sitting there in pitch-black while you're being covered by carpets and carpets of insects.)

... So, no. Alas, no machine guns. We did witness a machete attack in the nearest village and heard some other gang violence horror stories. And watched speedboats being chased by helicopters.

But Orton/Wyatt, right?!

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9 hours ago, Roman said:

Then Sting would have to find a Plan Bee.
 

Briefly, it was more of a 'either we get better or we kill ourselves on the beach' kind of deal with a former army buddy. My friend found salvation in piles of cocaine, while I simply got my head out of my ass.

(And then got my ass out of my ass, but that was because of an internal parasite. Boy, having to run in the complete fuckin' jungle nocturnal darkness with the worst case of diarrhea in civilised and uncivilised history to an outhouse in the actual fucking jungle really puts all those spiders, centipedes and other creepy crawlies into perspective. Suddenly you don't care anymore about brushing a forearm-sized spider off the splintery wooden toilet seat in a hurry and sitting there in pitch-black while you're being covered by carpets and carpets of insects.)

... So, no. Alas, no machine guns. We did witness a machete attack in the nearest village and heard some other gang violence horror stories. And watched speedboats being chased by helicopters.

But Orton/Wyatt, right?!

Piles of cocaine, you say? Is that you, Vince?

I, most likely, would not have made it out of Colombia alive.

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1 minute ago, L_W_P said:

I cant get behind Cena and Nikki because they have only been an on screen couple for what... 2 months?

Miz and Maryse have years of history. Remember him learning French to try and impress her? They are a couple that I believe met, courted, fell in love and got married.

Cena and Nikki feel like they have been thrown together for a storyline. If they had been an onscreen couple since Nikki's comeback it would be fine.

Shit the Lita/Trish/Jericho/Christian saga was a million times more believable than this and that actually was a storyline!

but this is for reals and they have been a couple on total divas since 2013.

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On 3/29/2017 at 8:31 AM, Reed said:

In fairness to Dean, after reading about tarantula hawks I am scared too.

Our State Insect! New Mexico, represent!

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19 hours ago, Roman said:

Briefly, it was more of a 'either we get better or we kill ourselves on the beach' kind of deal with a former army buddy. My friend found salvation in piles of cocaine, while I simply got my head out of my ass.

(And then got my ass out of my ass, but that was because of an internal parasite. Boy, having to run in the complete fuckin' jungle nocturnal darkness with the worst case of diarrhea in civilised and uncivilised history to an outhouse in the actual fucking jungle really puts all those spiders, centipedes and other creepy crawlies into perspective. Suddenly you don't care anymore about brushing a forearm-sized spider off the splintery wooden toilet seat in a hurry and sitting there in pitch-black while you're being covered by carpets and carpets of insects.)

... So, no. Alas, no machine guns. We did witness a machete attack in the nearest village and heard some other gang violence horror stories. And watched speedboats being chased by helicopters.

But Orton/Wyatt, right?!

Your life sounds like one of those cheesy straight-to-DVD action movies my dad was fond of.

I hope you came up with suitably cool-one liners.

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9 hours ago, odessasteps said:

Still one of my lasting memories of raw was when maryse had that amazing "F me" look on her face for Miz. 

Looking back at that you might as well CGI fireworks and hearts all around them as that happened, loved that moment.  The fact their love story started as they were both trying to make their way up the ladder is quite something.

And that's another reason why I'll always cheer for Miz/Maryse over Cena/Nikki.  No matter what slimeball tactic they try it's just so damn easy to love and appreciate Miz/Maryse for being a married couple so obviously in love with each other.  It's sweet and knowing what shit Miz had to go through I very much want to see him beat the piss out of Cena.  And I'm hoping Maryse learned a few things because I'd like her to do the same to Nikki.

I can kind of see Nikki's points and if it was one-on-one it might be more evenly matched.  But Cena shitting on them that way hurt the match big-time.  If they beat them then they beat two useless people so they gain nothing except maybe a marriage proposal.  If they really have to win then at least have Miz/Maryse beat the shit out of them anyway so they can have some semblance of credibility.

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