Cristobal Posted April 3, 2015 Author Share Posted April 3, 2015 It broke my brain. I was useless for work after that. It's the closest thing I've ever experienced in real life to "If it weren't for my horse, I'd have never spent that year in college." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Fowler Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 Oh that's the best/worst story on this board in months. Damn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lamp, broken circa 1988 Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 that's some url on that gif there 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandomAct Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 Why is it that the hood rat girls I treat less than excellently (not out of malice or anything, I just knew it was going nowhere) text me off the hook months and months later, but the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, who I was a total gentleman with, randomly stops texting me out of nowhere?? Maybe that asshole from VH1 with the furry hat was right. Because, as I've found out, the whole "treat em like shit and they'll love you" theory is 95% true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tromatagon Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 Always trust people with furry hats dude Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandomAct Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 Always trust people with furry hats dude Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burgundy LaRue Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 Why is it that the hood rat girls I treat less than excellently (not out of malice or anything, I just knew it was going nowhere) text me off the hook months and months later, but the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, who I was a total gentleman with, randomly stops texting me out of nowhere?? Maybe that asshole from VH1 with the furry hat was right. Because you were likely being your true self with the 'hood rat girls' (why even call them that) while the woman you put on a pedestal for no reason other than her looks (based on what you've said, correct me if I'm wrong) picked up on some artifice in your approach. Contrary to popular opinion, women don't like to be abused or treated like garbage. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dewar Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 This is why Burg stopped giving out the cuddliest member award. haha Relationships are weird, until you find the right one. Don't blame her, don't blame yourself, just dust yourself off and move on. Maybe she stopped texting because she didn't think it was going anywhere. Maybe she's not ready for a relationship, who knows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burgundy LaRue Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 The Cuddly Award has been sent back to DVDVR-NXT for retooling, 'tis all. No future endeavors here. I don't intend to be preachy or judgmental. But I read some of the stuff here, mostly posted by guys who seem evolved and should know better, and I'm like REALLY? I try to remember that it's a 99.9% sword fight around here. But sometimes, a swift kick in the balls is needed. It's a kick full of love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandomAct Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 Admittedly my remarks are born out of recent frustration. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zimbra Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 The dude in front of me at the pharmacy last night was talking to the pharmacist about how he read on the internet that you can get rid of bone spurs by drinking dilute hydrochloric acid and did they have any. The pharmacist, who is a very sweet little mormon guy who looks like he's about 12, was trying to be as nice as possible in telling the guy that he should absolutely, under no circumstances, drink HCl and maybe just try some ibuprofen instead. And I was trying very hard not to scream in the middle of Target. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goc Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 I really don't know where to share this but IT'S FUCKING INSANE! Italian surgeon Dr Sergio Canavero is planning to put Russian volunteer Valery Spiridonov's head on another person's body. http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/man-undergoing-head-transplant-could-experience-something-a-lot-worse-than-death-says-neurological-expert-10164423.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robert C Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 Sitting in the pre-op room at the hospital right now, waiting for my wife to go in for surgery. They're working on the guy in the next room over with a circular saw. I'm not sure about this place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cwoy2j Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 My brother-in-law's brother named his son Apostlsis Dominae (I make no promises that is spelled correctly) which... Huh Whenever I see kids with weird ass names like that I always want to advise the parents to send their kid to school with two sets of lunch money b/c the kid is sure to get his ass kicked for one of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bustronaut Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 At this point it doesn't matter WHAT you name your kid, kids are assholes, they WILL find a way. My wife's childhood nickname was Jenna BISON, even though she wasn't fat, just made easy by her last name being Beason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cristobal Posted April 14, 2015 Author Share Posted April 14, 2015 I vaguely recall some comedian making a joke along the lines of "Kids will find ANY time and make you miserable for having it. Watch how they do it. 'What's your name?' 'Jason.' 'Jason? You're a cunt, Jason.'" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AxB Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 I have a friend called Richard Gaunt. His name at school was Dick Cunt. The guys at my school who had nicknames were all guys who had boring regular names, names they shared with other kids in the same class or school year. Everyone called Robert was known by the English generic nickname ( first syllable of surname, plus Y). Gizmo was called Gizmo because he looked like Stripe from Gremlins, and whoever named him remembered the wrong character name. Tenthead was called Tenthead because someone though his hair made his head look like a tent*. Felcher was called Felcher because his surname was Fletcher, and because everyone hated him for being an ass-sucking shitbrain**. And somehow someone knew what felching was***. Tubby was called Tubby because he was fat (his friends lacked imagination). Bodders was called Bodders because he originally hated it when people called him Bodkin. We had a teacher who called all children Bodkin because she couldn't remember names, and he wouldn't shut up about how much he hated it, so everyone started calling him it all the time. * A Dome tent. So he should have been called Domehead really. And he may have been inventing Bieber hair over a decade before Beiber was even born. ** Left school 24 years ago. Still not prepared to forgive the twat. *** But nobody really should. Apparently it's not even a real thing, it's more of a thing that homophobes (of the self-hating closeted variety) think gay people do, but no gay person has ever met anyone who's actually into it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Magnificent 7 Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Speaking of names, in yesterday's local paper in the property transfers there was a guy whose name was Phuc Q. Hoang. I would quite enjoy writing / signing checks if that was my name. Oh, I owe you 315 bucks for the electric bill? Phuc Q. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shane Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 Locked myself out of the house. Had my wallet and car keys (I took the rest of the keys off the carabiner because I was taking my car in for an oil change). Annoying, but no big deal. I'll just hang out at a bookstore until my girlfriend is off work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
(BP) Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 My wife and I found out this week that we're expecting our first child. Unfortunately, I've just discovered that her ideas for baby names are similar to those doled out in WWE developmental. Wagner is not a first name! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tabe Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 Tell her it's gotta be Waggner so the kid can have a constantly misspelled last name for a first name. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramsey Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 My name is Jason... *hangs head in cunty shame* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Ape Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED Get Off My Lawn -- 40 Points Hear a song released in 1991 on the local "classic rock" radio station ("Losing My Religion" by R.E.M., if you were wondering.) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bustronaut Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Hey! So the director they kept got a job in Nashville, so they've asked me back. This is in the "meh" note because my vacation and such is starting over from scratch. Here's hoping the station doesn't shut down completely before I find a job! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zimbra Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED Get Off My Lawn -- 40 Points Hear a song released in 1991 on the local "classic rock" radio station ("Losing My Religion" by R.E.M., if you were wondering.) I really like the college radio station in Madison, but every once in a while the DJ will say something like "Hearing The Killers makes me feel so old" and I'll try to steer my car into a ditch. My girlfriend was in the hospital all weekend with a post-surgical infection. She's home now, which is good! But it also means I'm back on 24-hour caretaker duty, which is not so good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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