Been struggling really hard with the concept of “letting go.” Specifically, with fandom. In the wrestling thread I pointed out how an indie near me booked Onita for a deathmatch and Rob Feinstein was there running Onita’s business. A lot of folks were upset, myself included, and I called some people out for not saying anything and yeah. Got a demonstration of the parasocial “friendship” between entertainer and audience.
I’ve talked at length on here about the effects of Speaking Out on my local indie scene and how it hurts because I took my daughter to Chikara shows. After months of holding out hope that things will get better, I finally accepted they won’t, and am trying to disengage and let go of wrestling, at least in these indies.
I’ve already decided I won’t take my kid to any more shows, but letting go of friends I made, even those whose bonds were superficial, hurts. Especially for someone who has had difficulty making friends his whole life.
I’m not asking for any advice or help, I just really needed to get these words out and stop them from eating me up inside.