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So the story of how Darby Allin came to be hit by a bus came out. He saw Raymond Pettibon about to be hit by a bus, and ran in and and took the hit for him. https://vxtwitter.com/DrainBamager/status/1785338829404016873 Yes, the Raymond Pettibon. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raymond_Pettibon He who designed the Black Flag logo, amongst lots of other things.

Not every single match needs a story. Any time I hear someone edging toward the argument that they do, all I can think of is:

The way you’re describing this makes me think about how bands who’ve been on the record-tour-record-tour grind for long enough inevitably make a record about being on tour that is almost completely impenetrable and unrelatable to your average person. Always a reliable sign that the band probably needs to take a break. It actually makes total sense that by the 00’s Vince would be so far up his own ass that he’s making a show about making his show.

Okay, 51 pages is enough when nothing new has come out in weeks. If the old man is indicted (hopefully!), we'll open a new thread.

Shit. I thought you were talking about Jasmin St. Claire, the famed neurosurgeon.

Literally in 2001 at a party had a guy trying to convince me to buy apple stock the day the Ipod dropped by showing me a goddamned Ipod and I was so impressed with my new "MP3-CD player" that I had bought the week before that I told him he was an idiot and that this was the future. This is it. Man the more I remember these things the more miserable I get. But my SLimX is still working and hooked up and about 7 ipods of various sizes and types are stacked away somewhere...but that's what they call a "Pyrrhic" victory I think.

Every damn time I read her name, I hear Eddie doing his Cosby impression.

Off topic, but these posts make me super happy. Me and a few buddies just went to the Hatebreed anniversary show the other week, and had an awesome time - I'm one of those people who's "good with faces" so it was kind of crazy to look around the room and realize man, I've probably been to hundreds of shows with some of these people, and never interacted once, yet somehow I'm glad to see them after 15 years. Like a HS reunion of total strangers or something lol

Which is where I think some of the "What is the backstory?" criticisms levied at AEW have their roots. People cannot wrap their heads around the idea that wrestling is supposed to be a sporting contest, and quite often fights, games, and matches just happen because they are on the schedule, and there isn't a backstory. Ohio State vs Michigan has a backstory. Ohio State vs Rutgers doesn't. Both games are played.

"In conclusion, WCW killed WCW"

I'll submit that we live in a reality that is much less ripe for parody than 20-30 years ago. I mean, how can you possibly "parody" someone like Marjorie Taylor Greene or Lauren Boebert? It's not possible to make them seem dumber or more insane. I do like the approach someone mentioned above, and I said it a few weeks ago; AEW is a wrestling show. It's okay to have wrestling matches on your wrestling show. Not every encounter needs to be preceded by 30 minute lore dumps...

I got so many feelings about going to a hardcore punk show last night for the first time in quite awhile, after a lot of people moved and I had to break away from others. Something I realized really was that not everybody else went away -- I went away. And it's great seeing everyone again, and being just a people watcher instead of the guy with the guitar trying to keep it together and play while I'm sweating straight vodka. If it helps, Maximumrocknroll still has new reviews on their website, btw! And keep up with the Sorry State Records newsletter that they put on their page every week. Or just ask me. I keep a firm index finger right on the prostate of hardcore.

I remember a long time ago I read something where they were talking about SNL, and how everybody always says "It was so much better back when 'X' was on the show" or similar thoughts. They then compared SNL to Mad Magazine, in that the 'golden age' for it will be when you first discover it, and get into it, and that as time goes on, it won't ever seem as good as it was when you viewed it for the first time. I think that really does apply to pro wrestling too. To a lot of folks my age, nothing will ever be better than Hogan vs Savage, or Dusty vs Flair, or whatever their memories are from the 80s boom. To folks in their 30s or whatever age, it'll be the Monday Night Wars, and the NWO, DX, Stuff like that. So, to folks that are in their 20s now, when they look back on wrestling from their childhood, it is stuff like Super Cena, and "going 1-on-1 with the Undertaker playa". WWE was the only 'major league' in town, and for the 5-10yr olds that discovered wrestling in the '00s, that stuff is the good shit from their childhood. When you mix that in with how media consumption changes more and more the younger the demographic is, well no wonder people go to wrestling shows and don't boo or cheer.

So are people mad because he's wasting time or because he's saving time? Make up your minds!

Max Caster's rap was super cringey this week. Good to see the GYV got to keep all their original stuff. The Parking Lot Brawl was good stuff. Quick and violent. Rosa/Deonna was good too, and it's nice to see a women's feud that isn't about a title. Those two should have a good hardcore type of match at some point.

Stat, Bayne, Kamille, Stoke. That’s the play.

Even though I prob shouldn't, I still say Kamille's name the way Bill Cosby used to say his wife's name in his act.

Got my Criterion 4k of The Adventures of Baron Munchausen and it is just as delightfully batshit insane as I remember it being when I saw it in the theater lo'those many years go. It might be my fave Gilliam movie. James

AEW women's roster gets another addition

Well, I absolutely shrieked when I heard Wes's music. I hope he's genuinely okay, we were told he'd miss the whole year, but if he's good to go then I'm thrilled.

As my friend said, an article that is both criticizing him for wasting time AND not wasting time.

Four rectangles vs a dead bug. Undoubtedly iconic in both cases, but neither is too complex or creative.

Carpet picking is hilarious to watch, until you're the one doing it.

So the argument you're essentially making is "I had a bad vacation once, therefore all vacations are bad, and we should never take them". Everything has the risk to be bad, and the way around that isn't just to abandon doing it altogether. Deep down, we all need a reason to care about something. For some, the wrestling itself is enough. Someone earlier referenced watching football for the sake of watching football because they love football that much. That's great! Some people can sit there and watch a 2-8 team play a 3-9 team and be perfectly happy, and that's great for them. Others are going to need something more; maybe a race for the division title, maybe they don't check in until the playoffs, maybe it's just the Super Bowl that they start watching, whatever. But to say that only one method of enjoying football is valid? Ehhhh. Kinda shitty, don't you think? And I think that's what the folks who are asking for more story are asking for. If the primary thing thrown out there is "and here's a great match!" or "here's a five star classic", then ehhhhh. 2-8 vs 3-9 football games could be great games too, but if there's nothing really on the line aside from draft position (which you have to be bought into those teams to care about), a lot of folks just aren't going to care, and that's the reality of life. But if it's "this person hates that person and they want to beat the living heck out of each other", or "this person can make more money by beating the heck out of this person", now we're getting somewhere. For those folks, that carries a lot farther than "this is a tape trader's dream match!" That has more to do with having actual emotional investment in the people watching. Whenever I see someone make that point - and I'm just speaking from my own experience because it's why I don't watch as much of the show as I used to - I read "I want to care, but I haven't been given anything to care about". Those viewers are either going to find something or they aren't, but it certainly wouldn't hurt to give them more of a hook than how high of a rating people give it on Cagematch, or how many stars Dave Meltzer tossed out.

How are the shareholders supposed to get their beaks wet from that!?

The NXT drafts are always good to see because they seem to be shoots. I'm sure they aren't clued in to who's getting called up. I'm sure most expected Dragonov to get called up but even he didn't know for sure. I'm cool with not so much changes this year. It seems alot of times people get moved just because they feel they have to because it's a draft. It's alot of people injured right now anyway that they can account for after they get off the shelf.

Big same. With the women, I think the closest we've come so far was probably the (too) short-lived Nyla/Marina team. On the men's side, I was REALLY hoping for this for Gates of Agony. Not sure what the status is of the Mogul Embassy with Swerve now being a de-facto, if not full-blown, babyface, but hopefully his time on top means good things for those guys as far as being featured and pushed in earnest. Also, many of us have sorta fantasy booked this one so it goes without saying almost, but man, the Dutch Righteous/JD Drake super team is right friggin' there.

Live from Riyadh, it's Saturday afternoon...

I facetiously apologize for using the same gif twice. That said, my response, in full:

I kinda feel this is coming back in vogue, both with people going out of the way to yell and boo the heels and even with people I see posting online as if it was real

Isn't it time that the draft is actually a draft and say you can draft from NXT or for people outside the WWE bubble (like Giulia or Jade, etc.), and the movement from Raw and Smackdown is trades or free agents? Y'know, like real sports?

Movies seen today.... Kin (leaving Max this week) Recorder: The Marion Styles Project (leaving Criterion Channel this week) Deal of the Century (leaving Criterion Channel this week) Alien (saw at the theater) - It's game over, man. Harry Dean Stanton does Harry Dean Stanton things and there's a cat.

I think there's also a fine line between "the audience playing their part" and "trying to hijack a show/make themselves part of the show." Things like the past post-Mania crowds, the regulars at TNA and NXT are prob examples where it's not good (to me). Things where the metatext or fourth wall are already broken, like Chikara, are prob in a gray area, where people (including me at the time) played along with Things like the Slo Mo Spots and "PG swearing".

They should bring Megan Bayne back, create a Women's Tag division and make Bayne & Brick into the distaff Skyscrapers.

That's an excellent point too, and one that I wish I saw before I made my last post - like, look at your point about how many people fondly remember Teddy as SD GM. The period you're describing is what I always refer to as the "Muppet Show" period of WWE: a good 90% of the show, was just about running the show. GMs, Commissioners, CEOs, EVPs, guest "hosts" - who they want on top, who they don't, who's good for "the brand," the Board votes "no confidence!", Trump buys Raw, draft after draft after draft - there is legitimately a generation of people out there who really think the matches, titles, angles and all the other devices used - are only there in support of a larger story about whoever is in charge.

Hahahaha. At the press conference last night, the last question was posed to him if it crossed his mind that he just played his last game as a Laker. His face lit up and he chewed on it before saying "I can't answer that." That dude is going to be everyone's favorite teammate at the Olympics.

Yep, Evil Steiners like just mauling people.

It still bugs me - big time - that MLB didn't intervene and overturn the on-field decision. Would not have set a bad precedent and would have been a nice gesture. But noooooo...

I'd say RAW won the draft with Ilja Dragunov, Bron Breakker, New Catch Republic and Dijak.

I always try to watch Adventures of Baron Munchausen back to back with Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai.

Unpublished game by Rare, WrestleRage. Wrestling Beat em up. No ring. https://www.timeextension.com/features/the-inside-story-of-rares-wrestlerage-the-lost-snes-wwf-game-that-evolved-into-killer-instinct https://www.unseen64.net/2008/04/14/wrestlerage-snes-unreleased/

Preach! I'm guessing you too hear "Wild For The Night" by A$AP and Skrillex in your nightmares?

I don’t know, the way that he snapped that first tornillo on the dive outside had me jumping off my couch. That’s how you introduce yourself to the TV audience.

WB and David Zaslav is making sure all these projects don't see the light of day while Sony is trying to force Kraven the Hunter on people even if he means moving the release date every three months.

Guys, it’s a New HHH Era though. Steph told us. All allegations and lawsuits should be dropped.

Show #167 – 23 November 1998 “The one where Bret Hart and Dean Malenko are a drawback and not a benefit, strangely enough” Tony S. welcomes us to the only live weekly wrestling show on television while the Nitro Girls dance, and I think, oh yeah, of course RAW is still taping every other show. The “butts in seats” incident happens because Mankind’s title win was taped. RAW is getting roughly five million people to watch their show each week at this point in late 1998; they really should have cut out the “every other show is taped” schedule at this point. Tony S. has some hot news and updates for us: Kevin Nash won the WW3 Battle Royal. Hulk Hogan will act like a jackass on Leno’s Tonight Show later this week. Just another week in 1998! Mike Enos opens the show against Lex Luger. There’s not much to say about this match. If you know anything about Lex Luger TV matches, you know what this was like. The Wolfpac is very over, though, so the crowd is pretty hot for it. Enos also drills a sweet piledriver for two. You know, there have been better openers, but there have been worse. It was perfectly acceptable wrestling. Luger actually went up top twice, so that’s kinda new, but otherwise, you can probably guess who wins and with what move. (It’s Luger with the Torture Rack just in case you couldn’t guess.) Goldberg trades weak barbs with Konnan and Nash in the parking lot. Goldberg sounds like a doofus. The Nitro opening occurs here, followed by Gene Okerlund standing on the ramp, shilling the company and preparing to talk to new WCW Cruiserweight Champion Billy Kidman. Just when I thought that Juvi and Kidman were out of ideas in the ring, they put on a hell of a match at WW3. Kidman is bad at mic work and is sort of putting me to sleep, but he calls Rey Misterio Jr. out and offers Misterio a title shot tonight. They shake hands and split, but Eddy Guerrero comes out here – DAMMIT – and I guess he has a contract to keep Rey in the lWo or something? How and why would there be contracts to sign with individual stables? The nWo is presented as a different organization, not just another stable. What the fuck? This is dumb, and it gets dumber when Eddy gives Rey a double XL lWo shirt and makes him wear it. Bisch and Sully have driven me to the point that I’m disappointed when Eddy Guerrero shows up on my television. That is, to put it mildly, a fireable offense. Norman Smiley should get a push. See, there are two Norman Smiley signs in the front row! Smiley grabs one which declares him to be a favorite of the fan holding it. Smiley’s not winning tonight, but I have reasonably high expectations for his six-minute TV match tonight because he’s facing Chris Benoit. Smiley wins a go behind, snap mares Benoit, and kicks him in the spine, which pisses Benoit off; Benoit gets up and slaps the guy. Smiley wins a knuckle lock, tosses Benoit, and hits a BIG WIGGLE. Benoit is not appreciative of the lascivious dancing, to say the least. He beats down Smiley and snot rockets him. These fellas are slapping each other like they actually don’t like one another. Smiley’s heeling tonight, which means that he’s doing a lot of dancing and posing, which means that he’s giving a guy like Benoit way too much time to recover. After one dance, Smiley gets his Irish whip reversed, and Benoit catches him after he slams into the corner and hits the triple Germans, followed by a flying headbutt and a Crippler Crossface in short order. Honestly, this wasn’t long enough for me. I wanted more. There’s some Nitro Party stuff and stills of WW3, and I only really snap back when the AHWOOOO hits and Nash, Luger, and Konnan come to the ring. Everyone plays Catchphrase Roulette. Well, not Luger. Luger doesn’t have any over catchphrases. Nash talks about the perseverance of the Wolfpac, which is short-handed and missing Savage and Sting, and acknowledges a weak Goldberg chant. You know, Nash might be more over than Goldberg tonight, though they’re in Michigan, which explains that. Nash plans to be the one in how-many-ever-wins-WCW-says-Goldberg-has-now and one. Nash leaves the ring and walks backstage, where Gene Okerlund catches up to him and asks about his relationship with Scott Hall. Nash basically doesn’t trust Hall, but as he explains this lack of trust, Goldberg walks by, tosses another weak barb, and sounds like a man who is going to get rolled on the mic by Kevin Nash over the next month. Tokyo Magnum should have a theme he can groove to, not “generic East Asian track #34,” dammit. Magnum faces Kanyon in what should be at least a fun little TV match. Or uh, he would be facing Kanyon if Kanyon came out here when his music played. We go backstage where Raven is pouting and doesn’t wanna go out there, Kanyon can’t make him! Kanyon is not supportive of Raven’s inability to get past his mommy issues. Yeah, Raven’s trauma dumping all over you Kanyon, tell him to get a therapist or get fucked. Kanyon is so troubled by Raven’s behavior and refusal to join him in the ring that he can’t even get excited to ask everyone WHO BETTA THAN HIM? He’s so troubled, in fact, that Magnum gets the jump on him and gets two on a schoolboy. Kanyon hits a second-rope side Russian (!) to reverse a series of Magnum corner punches and peppers Magnum with strikes after Magnum kicks out of a pinfall attempt. However, Magnum keeps sneaking flash pinfall attempts in there; Kanyon is clearly rattled and realizes that he needs to get a win and get out of dodge before he’s on the wrong end of an upset, so he blocks a hip toss attempt and drills a Flatliner ASAP. Yeah, that was a fun little thing. There’s a Nitro Girls dance. Larry Z. asks Tony S., “Can you do that with your thing?” in response to something that Tygress does (and which gets a sizable pop). I’ll leave what Tygress did to get that pop and to get Larry Z. to ask the question up to mystery and your imagination, you fucking sicko. It’s a Glacier appearance. There was a time that I thought that I was interested in Glacier appearances, but actually what I was really interested in was James Vandenberg, Mortis, and Wrath appearances. Glacier’s going to lay down for Bobby Duncum Jr., probably, in this mid-off between two guys who I don’t give a fuck about. Well, Glacier trying to inspire Norman Smiley, I’ll give a fuck about, but that's not for a couple of years. They do some decent-enough work, have a little ringside brawl per the style of the time, and Duncum is never really in much danger. Glacier is always a step behind. Ew, there’s a terrible punch and soft DDT from Duncum that gets two, but should have gotten zero because it was complete ass. Duncum wins shortly after with a front Russian leg sweep. Gene Okerlund introduces the Giant to the ring for an interview. It’s nice that they remembered how much Kevin Nash and the Giant hate each other in storyline; Okerlund asks the Giant about Nash spearheading the gang attempt that dumped him from the ring in the previous night’s battle royale. The Giant cuts an, uh, suboptimal promo in which he challenges Goldberg for the World title (again) so that he can take it into Starrcade to fight Nash. The Giant says “damn” and “balls” and has to stop himself from saying “chickenshit.” It’s edgy in a very WCW way, I suppose. The Giant should have jobbed to Goldberg months ago, but I guess since he’s shoot vocal about heading to New York at this point in his run, they’re finally going to do what they should have done months ago. Saturn faces Silver King next. Saturn grabs a mic before the match and threatens/challenges Ernest Miller. Saturn will get something good out of Miller, who needs reps with good wrestlers badly. Then, as Saturn promised Silver King before he challenged Miller, Saturn beats up Silver King. I think Silver King is a sneaky good JttS in this era of WCW, actually. This is a pretty entertaining semi-competitive squash. Saturn’s quite over as a mid-card ass kicker. Before Saturn can finish off Silver King, Ernest Miller and Sonny Onoo come onto the ramp to taunt Saturn. Miller: “I’m big, bad, and I’m beautiful!” Guy in crowd: AND YOU SUCK. Miller and Onoo kept talking, did what some might charitably call a comedy routine, and left, but that didn’t keep Saturn from going back to beating up Silver King and landing a DVD for the win. Miller refused the challenge, by the way. There are some more PPV stills to hype up that Goldberg/Giant match for later tonight. Rey Misterio Jr. comes to the ring next for his Cruiserweight Championship match against Billy Kidman. Rey hits a Bronco Buster, which seems like a heel move, actually, but then again, it’s the ‘90s and anything goes for babyface behavior. Rey and Kidman spill outside on a Misterio Frankensteiner; they have a flippy cruiserweight version of a ringside brawl. Well, that’s different! Seriously, it’s an interesting variation on the typical punch/kick/whip into the stairs stuff that you see in almost every match from this time period (especially in the WWF). Back in the ring, Kidman struggles to keep control. Rey hits a sick dropkick on Kidman’s knee and follows up with a second-rope Rocker Dropper for two. Rey whips Kidman to the corner, but ends up getting crossbodied for two. Again, Kidman’s control doesn’t last long as he whiffs on a crossbody, lands at ringside, and gets seated senton splashed in the bargain. Misterio tries to follow up with a springboard rana back in the ring to end it, but Kidman lands a desperation counter dropkick that gets two. Kidman goes to a seated abdominal stretch, which makes a lot of sense in kayfabe because Rey was easily outmaneuvering him when they were standing or in the air. And again, when Kidman lets off and gets to standing, he gets booted on a corner charge, though he rips off a counter powerslam on a charging Rey for two. After another counter-filled change in the corner, Rey tries a moonsault that Kidman catches, but Rey bails out before he can get slammed or piledriver and lands, um, some kind of facebuster from an odd position. Mike T. and Larry Z. are impressed. This match continues to go back and forth; Rey lands a facebuster after being popped up into the air for a sitout slam. Rey tries to go to the air but gets caught in the corner; he works out of the jam and lands a sunset flip powerbomb for another two count. You know what, this match is laid out really well. Everything feels logical. Kidman lands his signature springboard bulldog and goes up for an SSP, but Misterio cuts him off and lands a superplex. Rey tries anther springboard rana, but Kidman catches him and completes the sitout slam this time. Eddy Guerrero creeps down to the ring, but Kidman dropkicks him off the apron and splashes him. The ref is drawn by that and doesn’t notice the lWo’s newest member, Juventud Guerrera, sneaking into the ring from the other side and sending a message to Rey by landing a Juvi Driver. Kidman is finished with Eddy and turns his attention back to Rey, sees him still down in perfect position for an SSP, and lands it for three. Very good match even with the end-of-match gaga. Gene Okerlund is standing in the ring with waste of space Eric Bischoff. Bisch is here to continue this shitty Bisch/Flair feud. Bisch promises to end their feud with a confrontation tonight; then, he reiterates that he’s the boss and that the beatdown that Scott Hall caught from nWo Hollywood at last night’s PPV is proof of that. Ric Flair enters the ring to respond. Flair can be entertaining on the mic in his sleep, so obviously this is perfectly acceptable stuff even with that black hole of entertainment Bischoff across from him. Bisch is like ACKNOWLEDGE ME (as the leader of this company) and Flair burns him by saying that he’ll acknowledge that even a man as great as Ted Turner makes a mistake every once in a while. It was a really good burn. Bischoff says that he refuses to add Barry Windham to the payroll since he runs the place, and then Windham comes out here. Is this the most obvious set-up ever? We all know what’s going to happen. There’s no need for Okerlund to lampshade it by saying something about the Horsemen running together forever. Anyway, Bisch slaps Flair; Flair punches the crap out of Bischoff. Windham, in a shocker, jumps Flair and beats the crap out of him. A few crowd members chant BULLSHIT while Bicsh and Windham commence with a beatdown. Yeah, I know, you just want to see the good guys win for once. Wait, fellas, at least here come the Horsemen for the save, and—oops, no, they’re jumped by a bunch of B-Teamers and beaten up. This got heat, and I think some of it was good, but some of it seems tired, like it’s of the “can our guys just get a win already?” variety. The desk is shocked that the bad guys won again for a bit, but soon enough, Konnan comes to the ring to hit the ol’ catchphrase roulette. His opponent tonight is Booker T. A black fan in the crowd wearing a homemade Jericho Personal Security shirt holds up a REUNITE HARLEM HEAT sign. WCW and disappointing black fans by breaking up their favorite black tag teams – name a more iconic duo. But seriously, though, this Booker babyface push is going well, though I’m not sure anyone wants to boo Konnan tonight. Booker overpowers Konnan early and wins a shoulderblock. Konnan hits a rolling clothesline at half speed, so Booker slows it down with a knuckle lock and then lands a back elbow for two. This match is not going to be good because Booker works better with explosive athletes and not very slow wrestlers with awkward offense. We’re not getting a charming uniquity out of this one. Konnan lands a back kick and a sitout facebuster, but he doesn’t even try for a Tequila Sunrise and Booker goes back on offense, landing an axe kick and Spinaroonie-ing up to see his brother Stevie Ray on the apron. Stevie hits Konnan with the slapjack, drawing a DQ win for Konnan. Stevie and Booker have a short repartee in which Booker wants Stevie to go about his business and leave him alone, but as we all know, Stevie is not going to do that. After that beatdown of the Horsemen, Bischoff declared that while the Horsemen were kicked out of the building, Malenko was an exception because Malenko would be facing the Hitman later in the show. Bret comes down to the ring to talk to Gene Okerlund right now. The Hitman claims that he was screwed by a cheap DDP victory at WW3, and also he hates the fans. Even doing this sort of boilerplate heel stuff while half-engaged, this guy is pretty entertaining. Is this the match where Malenko injures Bret trying to lift him onto the buckles? Bret promises to come after Page and the United States title again at some point before leaving. It's hour number three, and that means that it’s time for Kevin Nash to end Wrath’s recent undefeated streak. Yeah, Wrath lost to Glacier and Ernest Miller, so I don’t think Nash beating him is all that amazing or all that much of a momentum killer. Plus, as much as I like Wrath, he is absolutely not Goldberg. Maybe it’s just me. I do think that Nash got onto the booking committee and went mad with power, though. I enjoy Nash a lot as a performer, but there’s zero sense in having him book a show that he is also performing on. It seems like anyone should be able to guess that Nash would immediately book himself on top. In truth, Nash is way over, and it's fine that he’s on top, but still, you don’t want to give Nash himself the leeway to book himself on top. It’s improper. Wrath makes a rude gesture toward Nash. Nash crotch chops in response. The crowd cheers. Wrath wins a bunch of strikes to start and is able to reverse Nash’s momentum with a snap kick and a dropkick that sends Nash to the floor. Nash reconsiders his strategy, then re-enters the ring. Nash’s reconsidered strategy: Throw a bunch of knees and maybe a soupbone or two. Wrath squirms out of the back of a slam attempt and hits a back suplex, then a diving clothesline from the top for a 2.7, maybe a 2.8. As close to a 2.9 as you can get when your timing is nearly perfect. Wrath gets two more off a series of elbowdrops. He hits some punches in the corner and tries to whip Nash, but he follows Nash into the corner and eats a boot, then a side slam. Wrath runs the ropes and again turns the tide with a diving shoulderblock, but he just can’t out strike Nash, who wins a counter lariat and a big boot before pulling down the straps and landing a Jackknife for three. Gonna be honest, that is not the worst way to end Wrath’s little winning streak. I think there was chatter about how selfish this was at the time, but that was a competitive match and Nash sells that Wrath was a challenge after he wins. It was solid. Maybe I’m too forgiving because I like Nash, though. Gene Okerlund is in the ring yet again, this time to interview Chris Jericho. Jericho comes out here looking like he’s starring in Eraserhead. That hairdo is positively Lynchian. The black dude wearing the homemade JPS shirt has replaced his sign requesting a Harlem Heat reunion with one declaring that he's wearing a WARDROBE BY RALFUS [sic]. Okerlund mumbles on the hot mic, “I can’t say anything” in reference to Jericho’s hair, and it makes me laugh. Dear reader, I cannot express enough to you how over Jericho is. The number of Jericho (and Ralphus) signs is wild. Jericho as a cowardly heel World Champion with Ralphus and an actual huge bodyguard to watch his back would have been amazing. That’s a huge missed opportunity on WCW’s part. Jericho chastises the fans for not cheering enough for him lately, can’t properly pronounce Bobby Duncum Jr.’s last name, calls Stu Hart a “crazy old wizard,” and says that even though he hates cowboys, he could easily “rustle up some vittles.” This is the rare situation in which everyone tried to do comedy, including the fans, and it worked. Duncan Duncum comes out here with a hogtied Ralphus and dumps him in the aisle; Jericho freaks out. There’s a commercial break. When we come back, Jericho is still trying to untie Ralphus in the aisle, but Scott Hall comes out to the nWo Hollywood music, so Jericho decides that discretion is the better part of valor and leaves Ralphus in the aisle. Unfortunately, the commentary desk also tries to be funny, what with all the fake laughter and bad jokes, and they fail. Oh well, getting that much genuine funny from WCW in the first place was good enough. Hall requests that the truck cut the theme music and then gets in the ring and declares that he is giving his final survey. He knows that everyone wants to see the nWo. As for nWo Hollywood, he says that it's bogus that he's been kicked out of the nWo since he started it “by himself," and that he has no problem running by himself. As for the nWo Wolfpac, he says that he doesn’t have anything to prove to Kevin Nash; he only has something to prove to himself. He declares that the next thing he will prove to himself is that he kicks ass at the pro grapz by beating Alex Wright. Wright comes out, runs down the stupid Americans in the crowd (bad move because this gets the mutants to hit a U-S-A chant while he’s in control), and gets in the ring. Also, he dances, but you probably guessed that. Even though Hall’s break with nWo Hollywood is total nonsense that got ginned up out of nowhere, people want to cheer him and the idea of Hall as a tweener bully is enticing. Of course, Hall is going to be in no condition to perform so much that he gets sent home pretty soon, so that never would have come to fruition, but the idea is certainly something that I wouldn’t mind seeing. Hall and Wright have a solid TV match. Hall survives a decent patch of Wright control, punches his way out of trouble, and lands a fallaway slam and a Razor’s Edge for the win. Dean Malenko’s selling that Horace the Younger leg attack from earlier tonight as he comes to the ring to face Bret Hart. Tony S. tells Bobby H. “stifle yourself.” Then he calls Mike T. a meathead. No, wait, only the first of those things happened. Bret goes right at the injured leg and works the knee. If you like a choke-and-kick offense, the Hitman’s got you covered. Malenko fights back with forearms and punches. They do a shitty cradle spot, but at least the commentators can say that Malenko’s lack of leg strength explains the shitty cradle he tried. The Hitman rolls outside and catches his breath. There’s a break. We come back to the Hitman begging off and Malenko hitting punches in the corner. Malenko lands a short clothesline and a vertical suplex, but sells that it put too much pressure on his knee to get Bret up and over. The delayed cover gets two. Malenko hits another cradle right into the ropes. This match sorta stinks. Bret’s really been on autopilot. I mean, the good thing about it is that even on autopilot, his shit is crisp. The bad thing about it is that he’s only as entertaining as his opponent, and sometimes even his opponent isn’t enough to get things all fired up. Page tried, but they didn’t have a notable match of their two recent bouts. We get a standing ten count after the Hitman misses an elbow. Malenko’s up first and gets a sleeper. Bret eventually counters with a back suplex, but it’s not much of a counter because Malenko hangs onto the sleeper. It’s a visually muddy spot, and the crowd responds by asking/requesting/harassing some lady in the audience to share a quick viewing of her boobs with the crowd. There’s a tiny pop at some point that makes me think she did it, but really quickly. Don't give in to the social pressure, sis. Anyway, did you know that this match sorta stinks? It goes on for what feels like forever. It’s just on and on with chokes and guys kicking each other’s knees and shit. And yeah, Malenko injures Bret’s groin by trying to hang him up on the top rope and failing miserably. A few dudes in the crowd chant BO-RING while Bret lays around on the floor holding said injured groin. Hey fellas who read this, I think that Dean Malenko kinda sucks. He was useful in establishing the Cruiserweight division as a base for the high flyers, but I don’t think we need this guy to get a bigger push as part of the Horsemen. He hasn't been a positive on television since the Jericho feud, in my humble opinion. This match is STILL GOING. Bret gets to the ropes on a Texas Cloverleaf, and then they fight over a chair outside, and after that, Malenko hits a missile dropkick back in the ring for two. Finally, Bret clips Malenko’s leg as Malenko tries to leapfrog him, bashes Malenko’s knee against a post, and then hits a bulldog onto the chair that got brought in from outside. The Hitman prepares to Pillmanize Malenko, and Diamond Dallas Page runs out of the crowd. Page eats a chair shot, but dodges another one and tries to hit a Diamond Cutter that the Hitman blocks. Page just punches the guy out of the ring in response. This was the worst possible match that involves the Hitman, Dean Malenko, and DDP that you could possibly imagine. Wait, I spoke too soon; Page gets on the mic and calls the Hitman “Bret ‘HitSCUM’ Hart.” OK, now it's the worst possible match involving those three, and also, shut the fuck up, Page. Page refuses to shut up and calls Bret a wuss. This didn't sorta stink; it completely sucked and I hated it. Page challenges Bret to a match next week on Nitro. I’m downgrading my expectations for that match from “decent” to “barely adequate” considering that the already disinterested Hitman also now has a shoot groin injury. Goldberg comes out here to bring some life back to this show by steamrolling the Giant (on jobber entrance because we’re on overrun/Giant’s recently been to Connecticut to visit Vinnie Mac so fuck 'im). Goldberg kicks out of a chokeslam, eats a couple of chops for dinner, and then murders the dude with a spear and a Jackhammer in a couple minutes, and the high of that demolition (and that Jackhammer, which was a complete visual spectacle) is immediately brought back to a mediocre low by WCW insisting that Bam Bam Bigelow is a legitimate threat to Goldberg in 1998. I like Bammer, but no, this is not 1988, and it’s not the spot for him. There’s a huge pull-apart at the end, but that’s not going to make me want to see Goldberg/Bam Bam in 1998. Kevin Nash comes out to face off with Goldberg after security carts Bam Bam away, which is actually a hot pull-apart. This show had some missteps, and Bret/Malenko was a new low in Bret’s WCW run, but most of it was pretty enjoyable. As usual, if you can ignore all the shitty angles and below-average mic work from most of the guys on this show, you can derive some fun out of the faux fisties. Say what you will about late-stage WCW, but they’ve still got a lot of diverse and interesting in-ring talent at this point. Uh, except for Bret and Malenko, somehow. 2.75 out of 5 Stinger Splashes.

Better be a fucking framed picture of Scott Hall!

You've got to be fucking kidding me.