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Really, though. PAUL FUCKING HEYMAN. There was this magical break in that sequence. It started as just a normal Heyman/Cena promo...and then it was over, right? And Cena was leaving and the music was ready to cue...but then...Heyman laughed. He laughed that laugh that was just other worldly. And it was like a second curtain rose and we were going into a new place all of the sudden. A place where Brock Lesnar only hears three things: "One, the referee who has the power to disqualify him. Two, Paul Heyman who strategizes his greatest victories, and Three....the suffering of his victims." And then a place where this happens: "CenasucksCenasucksCenasucksCenasucksCenasucksCenasucksCenasucksCenasucksCenasucksCenasucksCenasucksCenasucksCenasucksCenasucksCenasucksCenasucksCenasucksCenasucksCenasucksCenasucksCenasucksCenasucksCenasucksCenasucksCenasucksCenasucksCenasucksCenasucksOH SEE IT GETS TO YOU!!!! Don't you just want, one time to tap into that hatred and that disease and that rage in your soul and turn to that fat unemployed drunk slob in the sixth row ONE TIME and say SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!! One time. One moment. That's all it takes and it turns forever...Do it with me! and then when you give in to that hatred...THEN you CAN BE THE ONE!!!!" Fucking hell! The best thing about that promo is that it essentially was the pitch that Heyman would make to Cena if he actually wanted to turn him and represent him. It was Palpatine trying to turn Luke right in front of the guy he would replace. It was the speech that we never got to see Heenan give to Andre but was only implied. But here we got to see it, sort of. Heyman was just playing, but he was also practicing for when he makes that pitch for real. And then at the end moving form baiting him into turning, to daring him: "Because, John Cena, I believe in you. I believe you have it in you...But My client thinks you just don't have it in you." Goddamn I love that man.

So Ziggler had access to Miz and Mayse's house and got naked pics of Miz. We learned a lot about Dolph tonight.

Russo is probably the last person in pro wrestling I would want to have to interact with to be honest. Maybe in another fifteen years and even then not to hear him shill a fantasy league. I'm not saying we'd be better off with Marty Jannetty sitting around the campfire telling us about drugging stewardesses in broken English but it would be close. Some people just don't deserve this place.

He'd have to get used to fighting within his own weight class tho.

Vinny: "They know nothing about the wrestling business." Spike exec: "What Vince Russo is saying is complete nonsense." I don't know, sounds like they've got a pretty good handle on the wrestling business.

"TAKE ME TO HARLEM." "Sorry, I'm going off duty-" " I SAID HARLEM. "-but-" "HARLEM." "..."

I always thought the "devil's advocate" gimmick could have made some real money.

Yeah Orton's sucked for a while.

I'm totally ok with Rippa and co. letting Russo register on one condition: His user name must be EBR090.

I"m guessing someone at ESPN decided to say "fuck it" to their job:

It should also disqualify you from any team except, well, right now Seattle. Frontrunner.

"Yes I would like to replace my Ray Rice Jersey with a Ray Lewis jersey please"

Spoiler! Bruce Willis was dead the whole time! Did I do it right? I think you overestimate how much I like you...

I worked tonight, but I can't wait to see the Heyman promo. AMC should start a show called "Better Call Paul," where Heyman sits in an office and cuts promos on the different wrestlers who walk in.

It was inevitable. That guy was nuts.

A buddy of mine who is an EMT responded to Heenan's place last week. Said he was fine but clearly couldn't communicate to well. When my friend who recognized him, spoke to him loudly Heenan mumbled "I can't talk, but i'm not def." He also apperently signed his form "The Brain," and flipped off the EMT's when they left.

Last place New England Patriots is the greatest phrase in the English language, and for the next five days, I will be rubbing it in the nose of all the bandwagon fucking Patriot fans I know.

John Rabe ‏@johnrabe 15h If #NFL saw video, Ray Rice "punishment" is indefensible. If they didn't, it's because they deliberately turned their backs. Bad either way. John Rabe @johnrabe · 16m #Ravens and #NFL can't have it both ways. For months they've implied, "If you'd seen the full video, you might not be so hard on #RayRice." John Rabe @johnrabe · 22h The #Ravens didn't release Ray Rice when they saw this video. They released Ray Rice when YOU saw the video. Remember that.

Yesterday was solid. My son came to see me act for the first time ever. We snuck him in for my one act, which is as close to a children's show as I'm going to get. Afterwards he told me he was proud of me. Can't describe how awesome it is to be on stage and hearing your kid laugh at you. Also got cast in what will be batshit insane production of Macbeth. Riding high, riding high.

My 12 year old got redistricted this year. Brand new school, but he's only in the second year of Middle School. He's had to move around quite a bit in his life, generally small moves, but a lot of new starts, so it's always a little tricky. Apparently, his entire GT English class, including the teacher, watch Doctor Who, so they start every Monday morning talking about the episode. It bodes well for the new year.

Whats one more person on ignore? The more the merrier.

Lost in all of this is that Janay Rice is probably in a shitload more danger than she was before. Going by that tape, he was already a violent nutcase with a callous disregard for her life before all this went down...and now he's a violent nutcase who likely blames her for ruining his career and costing him millions of dollars. And is going to be around the house a lot more.

No one answer. I want to keep it a mystery.

"She's a gold digger and is stupid for not leaving" is this week's "Well, Jennifer Lawrence brought this on herself for taking nude pictures on her phone."

Looks like shocked Undertaker guy is coming for Lesnar.

Tom Brady is alone in last place.

y'all thought I was messing around. Two of you are on Jaecation for 3 days. When you come back try not to respond to each other. And don't ever. ever. ever. publicly ask for an admin to ban some one. We hate it. Carry on.

One of the recent WWE documentaries had this map pop up and I thought to track it down today- I wonder if there's any chance WWE will ever put together a Memphis wrestling documentary. Doesn't Lawler have a lot of their tape library? If not a feature, it would be cool to see a doc with mini chapters each highlighting various prominent territories that were popular over the years. Getting rights to such a thing would probably be a mess though.

"I stand against the wall! I touch nothing!" Someone needs to replace the chair with Indiana Jones' fedora.

About 300 or so.

I guess I'm the only one that's fine with Big Show-Brock - it makes sense from a storyline standpoint because of what happened at the Royal Rumble, and it's one of the few remaining bigger names that Brock can squash to look unstoppable. They shouldn't give away Reigns, Ambrose, or even Cesaro yet. Henry's being fed to Rusev and is probably too banged up to put in there with Brock anyway. Dolph would be fun to watch but wouldn't really do Dolph any favors. Sheamus is the only one that I think would be a better option.

Another plus: Mark Briscoe doesn't have a Twitter.

Well if anyone is still playing GTA - I will be on for Titans tonight.

This really should've been on television

Since I, and I assume all of you, are still trying to work through our feelings about this whole CORINBNEE BOHEREI IS WENDY"AS LADYS MOMOMMOMOMOMOMFUCKFUCKFUCK thing, I thought it might help all of us to step back in time and see some of Corinne Bohrer's commercial work over the last three decades: Part I: The early years. Before Zed even. 1983 Adorable. That is clearly her singing as she hasn't yet begun to figure out how to hide her Texas drawl. And speaking of Texas, she is also still rocking the deep South Beauty Pageant bouffant. All of this Texas residue would eventually melt away into the wild unmanageable Rapunzel cascade of hair that morphed her into the universal crush idol of 80s B-movie heaven. This is, of course, from that ancient time when razors only had two blades. They were actually joyfully singing about these horrifically primitive apparatus. "Two blades are better than one?" Well, yes....if you're a fucking Viking. Thank God we live in a time of adequate bladeage. I won't even go into a bathroom if there aren't at least five in there somewhere. 1987 Incredibly racist...but soooooo cute...This was peak Bohrer. Okay. Oversized Pink sport coat and yellow tie. Sleeves FUCKING ROLLED UP!! She has synthesized the looks of Laurie Anderson, Jon Cryer, and Michael J. Fox into the perkiest ensemble that has ever existed. All that's missing is a bowler hat and The Demon Blossom would rise from depths to devour us all. The music...is somehow a mixture of early 80s sitcom synthesizer fluff that is on in the background while Tony Danza makes breakfast and Katherine Helmond is vomiting in the sink AND THE MOST OFFENSIVE PLINKY CHINEE MUSIC SINCE EDDIE CANTOR SANG "CHINESE LAUNDRY BLUES!" But the amazing thing here is that this is a 30 second commercial which features one person simply talking directly to the camera coyly as if she was on a first date with it...about this absurd food-like-stuff in a way that makes the whole thing seem like the funnest most innocent and least corporate thing that ever happened. They put the entire introduction of this new product into the hands of one actress based on her ability to just sit in front of you and charm the living shit out of you with clumsy, winking adorability. The key to these early years, though, is that she is always single..unattached...accessible. Bouncing through the world with no obligations. She is the cute unattached girl of the 80s. Next time: The middle years...marriage, motherhood, career.

If the season ended today, three of the five teams in the A.L. playoffs would be the Royals, The Orioles, and the Mariners. I don't think I've really wrapped my head around that yet.

I think the important thing we learned from the show is that Paul Heyman got the devil to sell him his soul.

Yeah, Jay Z didn't resort to violence and the worst was some ribbing on Saturday Night Live. Maybe a mild bruise. Oh, the horror. And everyone thinks she's fucking nuts now. Ray Rice knocked his fiancee out and almost killed her with the way her head hit. Then he dragged her lifeless body out of an elevator. Obvious differences are obvious.

"She hit him first." "He wore a hoodie and looked suspicious" "It was her fault for taking pics on her phone when she knew it could get out." "Well he shouldn't have resisted arrest." "She shouldn't have been wearing that outfit if she didn't want male attention." People have become so obsessed with the "two sides to everything" thing they've forgotten to put the blame on, you know, the people that actually commit these hideous crimes.