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Goddamn, the WWE goes overboard with the fucking makeup sometimes.

The comedy group I was working with in San Francisco was working on filming a dark comedy pilot I had written about a guy trying to be a respectable chef having to take over his wrestling legend dad's promotion when the old man dies, and we worked out a deal with Roland to film our in ring stuff at APW Gym Wars. Of course, the night before meeting with Roland, the rest of the group watched Beyond The Mat as a homework assignment, since they're non fans. All of them were like 'who is this greasy scam artist you have us meeting with?' Working with the guy turned out great. The meeting was hilarious- first, the dude had made so many notes on the script we gave him. Like, joke rewrites and character ideas. He was pumped to be a part of the process of this project a bunch of nobodies was working on. THEN, he not only gave us an insanely fair deal to use the space, he let us use the space during one of his shows. His words: Why the hell would you hire a bunch of extras to come be a wrestling crowd? Just shoot our crowd, you'll love it. So, at intermission, he got in the ring and introduced us, told the crowd what was going on, and then we shot an in ring funeral for Buck 'The Steamroller; Chapman. APW's crowd was perfect. Without even being asked, they stood quietly when Buck was rolled in. Some old dude even took his hat off out of respect. One of the characters, 'Sex Drive' Shane Davenshire, did a eulogy, and they broke into a 'Well said, Sex Drive' chant. I was crying I was (silently) laughing so hard. I've heard so many stories about the guy being a piece of shit to think they aren't true, but he was really good to us that night and went out of his way to make the shoot better. We got to share the locker room, and my wife talked wedding planning with Cheerleader Melissa all night. The project turned out to be a total trainwreck, but thanks to Roland, it was a really, really fun trainwreck.

Someone at a signing in Dublin got The Shield to sign this:

Tremendous:

If DVDVR was a long running sitcom, the the last scene of the this season's finale would be Andrew and Burgundy waking up hungover in bed together and screaming in horror at what they've done.

Austin never pretended to be the prayer-saying, vitamin eating, all American hero. He drank beer and wanted a fight. Honestly there is no comparison.

I kind of never want to see Paige called up, too. If you look at NXT almost as its own territory, it kind of makes everything better. It's the world's second best 1993 Memphis.

Well, Reem should be fired for being an underperforming douche... But other than that, I agree with you.

I'll take "RESPECT" over "Mexican Black Face is fun" "OLE!".

Well who the fuck am I supposed to shit on then? Can't shit on Davey for wrestling shitty because it's for the fans. Can't shit on the fans for supporting shitty wrestling because that's just like their opinion maaaan. What am I supposed to do just ignore it and let people be free to live their shitty lives and enjoy stupid things? This isn't what the internet was made for. I have so much shit inside me. I have to let it out.

SMDH.

Which speaks more for the quality of the slate of films Marvel puts out than anything bad about this flick.

If Davey comes in as "Chiquita Baby" I will buy every PPV and DVD WWE releases for a year.

Just one of a million reasons why no one will ever be better than the Inside the NBA crew.

I was watching the new Botchamania and it hit me that I miss the old "Walking down the hallway to the curtain" shot they did until WM 14 (I think? last I recall was Shawn/Austin) It adds a weight to the entrances that seem missing nowadays.

Abrams had nothing to do with either of those endings, so I'm not sure why he'd be losing sleep over fan reaction to them.

If you didn't worry, you wouldn't be a dad

Its more fun this way. It is what made old magazines fun and why WOW magazine was so crappy.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU HOWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I might need a cigarette after that, and I don't even smoke.

Well lemme tell ya something, Mean Gene. They say one bad apple spoils the bunch, dude...but what about three-dozen? Rotten to the core, brother. Sometimes, man, ya gotta do what'cha gotta do! Every morning, before a big match, brother, I asked the big dude upstairs what he wanted from the Hulkster...and he never told me to love thy neighbor, man, or to turn the other cheek, dude. He gave me the strength and the fortitude to become his vessel, brother, by any means necessary, to overcome the obstacles placed before the Hulkster, brother, for all the little Hulkamaniacs watching around the world. All the training, all the prayers, all the vitamins were for this point in my life, man. When Vince McMahon came to me, offering me this position in the World Wrestling Federation, brother, I saw the lightning flash. I heard the thunder roll, man. I fell down on my knees and I cried, my God why has thou forsaken me, dude? And the Lord said, Hulkster, you know damn good, more than you realize, you're no earthly good at all unless you take this opportunity, brother, and do whatever you have to. And he didn't say Hulkster be polite. Do whatever you have to, man, to transform and transmogrify the World Wrestling Federation into a special place. Where the hearts, souls and minds of the Hulkamaniacs can blossom. And I gave my word to God, brother. And that's why I took those heinous dudes out by any means necessary, brother.

You know TNA would have died multiple times if it was run as anything other than a tax write-off, right? They're not some sort of plucky underdog scraping by - they're an absolute failure on every level.

This wins Fin Gate @EvilMikeTomlin: The Dolphins have definitely faced worse. Remember when Dan Marino was held against his will by some guy who turned himself into a girl?

So now they've established that Lori was also a horrible cook. What did this woman have to offer to anybody?!

Starting to miss October.

This is quite remarkable. The DVDVR's contrarianism has evolved to the point where the DVDVR is contradicting itself. I think this is how Skynet became self-aware.

Those people are idiots.

That should have said "I had more GRAY hair than that when I was 20". Frigging phone auto-correct.

For all the complaints this gets it is still nowhere near as bad as Triple H Vs. Taker III.

Why don't you show me here on this Gryll doll where the bad Quarians touched you...

Great stuff with Roode and Angle. Glad to see the Mafia over even if it was done in a really clunky manner. So so so sad to see the Aces go since it felt like they had somewhere to go with them ending and having Taz as the mouthpiece for Knux and Garett instead of WOOHOO SWERVE. The tourney was a complete clusterfuck with all the random brawls, and they didn't really do much to set up a time table for it until the very end of the show with Angle-Aries being announced for next week. I guess they'll have the finals at Turning Point. Sabin-Hardy was a video game match, but at least had a spectacular finish. http://jayreviewsthings.blogspot.com/2013/11/tna-impact-11-7-13.html Screens - http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/vb7h3of2hdw32x1hw9m6vdi2sibouxkq

Aww, what lady wouldn't want to reproduce with those virile specimens of muscular manhood?

Look into the videoscope and tell them!

My dream match would be Wrestling Bear vs. Dutch Mantel. Somewhere in the South, 1980s. An inebriated Gordon Solie would be completely unable to tell the two apart from the pre-match interviews onward, yet he'd still call the bout competently.

Yeah, I'm reading this book as well. I'm only about 100 pages into it though. Early on, I wasn't feeling it. The section dedicated to the movies/entertainment industry in the mid-1900s didn't grab me, but it has pulled me in with the stories about the Mormoms and their viligante gang. I think it really picks up when the John Birch society comes on the scene. The post-McCarthy revival of the Red Scare, plus the talk of "ironic" conspiracy theorists like Robert Anton Wilson and Paul Krassner, plus the John Todd/Mike Warnke Satan scare and the talk of the 90s-00s is absolutely riveting. (It also does a good job of illustrating why, as soon as anyone cites the SPLC, I tend to tune them out.)

I love the fact that Skip and SAS keep saying the Redskins are going on a run like last year. I don't think any team losing to a 1-7 Vikings team with a three man QB rotation portends to anything positive. A team with such an inconsistent offense and just a godawful defense ain't going 6-1 the rest of the way. Especially with a QB believing he is fucking Bruce Willis from Unbreakable.

John Goodman?

Jody Hamilton tells a great story about how nobody wanted to fight the bear the booker had brought in because he'd already bitten off some fingers several times. Don Leo Jonathan volunteered. The end result was that the bear was scared shitless whenever he saw Jonathan again. The trainer was in the ring with the bear and Jonathan snuck up to the ring behind them. He leapt over the ropes, the bear turned around and saw Jonathan, and jumped out of the ring, dragging his handler along. Random picture because thread:

Maxwell David came into the world Tuesday night. He's our first. 8 lbs 14 ounces and 20 1/2 inches long. Healthy baby, mom had a tough delivery (baby decided he wanted his left arm to come out with his head) but she's recovering nicely. My emotions over the last few days, after being fairly calm all during the pregnancy, went on quite the ride. Probably had something to do with me and his Mom being awake from 10 PM Monday until 1:30 AM this morning. Things have calmed and mellowed. The breastfeeding is going lots better, which is taking lots of the stress off. We're getting used to his ways and him to ours. Long journey ahead but we're lucky to have a great support system (4 excited grandparents and 2 thrilled aunties) in place. I'll be checking in here to get some much needed advice from those of you who have gone through all this stuff.

This would've made a great Quinn Martin Production - "Tonight's Episode of Quincy: Beware El Hijo del Médico Asesino!

This.

Will this report have a page with flaming gifs too?

If someone asks "why didn't you pick a fight with a NFL player that threatened to kill you", that just demonstrates a level of social unawareness I can't even begin to process.

Harley has the hair of a bad ass who has been pampered by being the king of men.

From the age of 9-12 I booked my own wrestling federation with my wrestling toys. I still think it was better than anything TNA or WWE has put out in the last 10 years. When Superman made his debut and ran through the ranks, even beating the unbeatable Sting and Hulk Hogan, it took the 4 Horseman, Lex Luthor, and chair made of Kryptonite to take out and injure the Man of Steel permanently. My fed also featured a Wargames match on every card and there were at least 15 championships at all times.

"Son, we live in a world that has Quarterbacks, and those Quarterbacks have to be guarded by fat men with pads. Who's gonna do it? You? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Martin, and you curse the Dolphins. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Martin's hazing, while tragic, probably saved Tannehill's career. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves Tannehill's career. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that sideline, you need me on that sideline. We use words like toughness, grit, intangibles. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very entertainment that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you put on some pads, and get in your stance. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to. "Did I order Martin's hazing, YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I DID!"