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On April 11th, 2016, we got the combination news of the passing of an aunt and the terminal diagnosis of an uncle.

From then until friday- One year, one month, and one day later- we proceeded to lose five family members. Another was nearly abducted two separate times overseas (fuck japan btw). Another- a child- was blinded and ignored by the school nurse. On Friday, my grandmother passed away from Alzheimer's. My mother will be spending mother's day taking care of the resulting paperwork with her sister. The only solace in any of this is that our family is running low on elders who could get sick in the first place, so we'll have quiet for a while at least.

I feel numb, but intellectually I understand that it's amazing that our family is still standing and still making forward progress in our lives. That'll be more comforting later, I guess.

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On ‎5‎/‎14‎/‎2017 at 4:31 AM, BL88 said:

I feel numb, but intellectually I understand that it's amazing that our family is still standing and still making forward progress in our lives. That'll be more comforting later, I guess.

It's okay to be numb if that is your natural defense mechanism, but give yourself some time to grieve and process also. 

Trying to completely subsume your feelings will only come back to negatively affect you later on.

JL's hugs are also very therapeutic.

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My crazy-ass mother-in-law has decided that my wife is faking/purposely causing all of her medical problems for money and attention.

Gonna be real interesting if she tries to show up at the hospital on Friday when my wife has surgery.

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1 hour ago, Zimbra said:

My crazy-ass mother-in-law has decided that my wife is faking/purposely causing all of her medical problems for money and attention.

Gonna be real interesting if she tries to show up at the hospital on Friday when my wife has surgery.

Damn, sorry to hear that, man.

I'm currently dealing with a similar issue.  I am beginning to suspect that my father has some sort of dementia issue going on and that the mysterious falls he's taken lately are either a symptom of some neurological disorder or it is some sort of hypochondria deal where he's sporting for attention.

Add this to the constant job search to find something a little closer to my crib and the ongoing quest for legal tender and being a divorced father trying to raise a kid and whose ex-wife is battling Stage 2 Lymphoma and also being the loving companion of a wonderfully feisty woman that absolutely does not get along with his mother.

I keep telling myself that God won't pile any burden on me that is to heavy for me to carry, but sometimes I wonder if I can take the weight.

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Sorry to hear about all that JT.

I'm going through similar with my mom - she was just diagnosed with alzheimer's and is going through more tests over the next week just to see how far along she is.  Over the last 10 or so years, she's been going through a lot of shit from depression to us having to convince her to move to a senior living facility to get daily help which lead to alcoholism (something she's been dealing with since before I was born) and eventually this diagnosis of alzheimer's.  I know she's getting up there (she's 74) but it's a pretty jarring experience to sit there with a doctor and hear how long she realistically has left and how long it might be before she doesn't even recognise me anymore.  

That being said - my brothers and her had a pretty fantastic Mothers Day together.  I think we all appreciated it more than we have in the past because of knowing all this.  

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Yeah, MIL seems to be heading for some kind of psychological breakdown.  She kicked my wife's sister and her husband out of her house and threw all their stuff on the porch on the last night of their visit from Europe for bringing her car back late and "being bad houseguests."  Her kids were the last family members she hadn't alienated.  On one hand I feel bad for her because mental illness is a motherfucker, but on the other hand she's willfully avoided treatment for years and is has been a shit person for pretty much her entire life, so fuck her.

My dad's memory also seems to be starting to go.  He's gotten pretty forgetful and repeats himself quite a bit.  Luckily he's close by my brother and I, and his sister will be moving in with him this year so we have a support system.  Getting him to actually confront that something is going on is going to be a trick, though.

Getting older sucks, but it beats most of the alternatives.

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I'm sorry to read about the stuff that's going on the last couple posts.  Hope everything works out for the best for all of you, but it sounds like some tough times ahead.

Zimbra, is there a friend or relative that your MIL confides in or would be able to get through to her?  Going through an undiagnosed mental illness is terrible for her and others.  Hopefully somebody's able to convince her so she can get the help she needs.  Not saying she won't be a "shitty person" once she gets treatment, but hopefully she'll be much less shitty if you get what I mean.

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4 hours ago, NikoBaltimore said:

Zimbra, is there a friend or relative that your MIL confides in or would be able to get through to her?  Going through an undiagnosed mental illness is terrible for her and others.  Hopefully somebody's able to convince her so she can get the help she needs.  Not saying she won't be a "shitty person" once she gets treatment, but hopefully she'll be much less shitty if you get what I mean.

No friends that we know of, and her daughters were the last family members that she hadn't either cut off or alienated.

This was just the terminal event of a lifetime of shitty behavior towards her kids and everyone else.  So not to sound too harsh, but I hope she gets the help she needs, but mostly I hope she gets it far away from us.

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Hey, if anyone here ever needs advice on long term care for elders, especially with dementia, I'd be happy to help. I worked in the business for 23 years and I know all the things you need to ask and look for in a facility.

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19 hours ago, Johnny Sorrow said:

Hey, if anyone here ever needs advice on long term care for elders, especially with dementia, I'd be happy to help. I worked in the business for 23 years and I know all the things you need to ask and look for in a facility.

I realize that this is a place that folks came together to discuss pro wrestling, but I have always thought very highly of the people that reside on these boards. I've seen a lot of posts like this over the years and seeing people be willing to help each other is truly fucking awesome.

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We're all in this together.

Lately I'm dealing with a lot of anxiety, which is new to me, which has the added "benefit" of setting off my migraines. I told my doctor almost 2 months ago I wanted a referral to a psychiatrist to go over my medication and no I haven't heard from him about that, why do you ask? Yes, I need to call him. And the bank to deal with Mom and Dad's shit they won't deal with together. And AT&T about the shitty wireless on this new DSL box. And and and and and

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Not nearly as heavy as everyone else's concerns, but online dating sucks. :D

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2 hours ago, JLSigman said:

We're all in this together.

Lately I'm dealing with a lot of anxiety, which is new to me, which has the added "benefit" of setting off my migraines. I told my doctor almost 2 months ago I wanted a referral to a psychiatrist to go over my medication and no I haven't heard from him about that, why do you ask? Yes, I need to call him. And the bank to deal with Mom and Dad's shit they won't deal with together. And AT&T about the shitty wireless on this new DSL box. And and and and and

"Being too anxious to take care of your sources of anxiety" is the biggest motherfucker.

Long distance fist-bump to ya, Jen.

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I got laid off on Tuesday, I'm getting 10 weeks severance so I'm not in a total panic mode, yet, but I am wishing we didn't just spend $15,000 on central AC & $5,000 on a new fence. 

Everyone keeps telling me we'll be fine & that 10 weeks is plenty of time to find a job, but I keep having these internal freak outs. 

Had a friend who's a recruiter polish up my resume & I have some really good references. Monday I start smashing up the job sites. 

Pleasr send some positive vibes my way mates!

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24 minutes ago, WholeFnMachine said:

I got laid off on Tuesday, I'm getting 10 weeks severance so I'm not in a total panic mode, yet, but I am wishing we didn't just spend $15,000 on central AC & $5,000 on a new fence. 

Everyone keeps telling me we'll be fine & that 10 weeks is plenty of time to find a job, but I keep having these internal freak outs. 

Had a friend who's a recruiter polish up my resume & I have some really good references. Monday I start smashing up the job sites. 

Pleasr send some positive vibes my way mates!

Can someone with more tech knowledge than me link to a YouTube video of the Isles organist playing either The Chicken Dance or If You're Happy And You Know It to cheer WFM up? Sending my good vibes!!!

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Best wishes, man, hope you land on your feet soon enough.  Unenployment is not fun, I've had to go through that a couple times (longest stretch being six months)  

8 hours ago, sabremike said:

Can someone with more tech knowledge than me link to a YouTube video of the Isles organist playing either The Chicken Dance or If You're Happy And You Know It to cheer WFM up? Sending my good vibes!!!

For WFM, sure thing.  

 

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11 hours ago, WholeFnMachine said:

I got laid off on Tuesday, I'm getting 10 weeks severance so I'm not in a total panic mode, yet, but I am wishing we didn't just spend $15,000 on central AC & $5,000 on a new fence. 

Everyone keeps telling me we'll be fine & that 10 weeks is plenty of time to find a job, but I keep having these internal freak outs. 

Had a friend who's a recruiter polish up my resume & I have some really good references. Monday I start smashing up the job sites. 

Pleasr send some positive vibes my way mates!

Mega positive vibes your way, brah.  As someone that just went through a job change, a few additions:

  • Don't wait till Monday.  Do it now.  The quicker you get irons in the fire, the quicker you can come back.  Recruiters don't stop on Fridays - or weekends for that matter.  Neither do the managers looking for new people.
  • LinkedIn is your friend - my new job came from a recruiter finding my posted resume on LinkedIn.  They hit me up, I went through phone interviews and suddenly, I'm a JavaScript developer making $20K/year more than before.  
  • Your friends are also your friends in job hunting - if you work in the same industry, see if they're aware of any positions.  Internal recommendations are very strong.
  • Use some of the time to brush up on skills - or even learn new ones.  Tech-wise, sites like Udemy are a gold mine - a low fee and you can pick up a new skill.  In the time I had off, I used it to brush up on software deployment, which came in handy both on the job hunt and in my new job.

Remember - at the end of the day, all you need is one, and it doesn't matter where it comes from.  Good luck!

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1 hour ago, Michael Sweetser said:

Don't wait till Monday.  Do it now.  The quicker you get irons in the fire, the quicker you can come back.  Recruiters don't stop on Fridays - or weekends for that matter.  Neither do the managers looking for new people.

Speak for yourself.  I'm a manager and I'm not doing shit on weekends unless something has blown up.  But seriously, good luck to my dude @WholeFnMachine

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Sweetser made a whole lot of good points.  Had no idea you were a Java Developer, that's cool.  And sites like Udemy and even Codeacademy come in handy.

But @WholeFnMachine, what job field do you work in?

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11 hours ago, NikoBaltimore said:

Sweetser made a whole lot of good points.  Had no idea you were a Java Developer, that's cool.  And sites like Udemy and even Codeacademy come in handy.

Funny thing is, I started way back in 1999 as a JavaScript/ASP developer, and now in 2017, I've gone through the whole sysadmin range and back to JavaScript development once again.  Life is weird.

Odd fact: another JavaScript developer in pro wrestling is my former feudmate in ECCW, Moondog Manson.  Going from discussion of hardcore wrestling to discussion about coding and back again is a weird car ride.

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Thanks for all the kind words folks, very much appreciated. I was last employed as an office manager for an IT managed services provider and did some recruiting & HR work for them too. I'm currently looking to get something in HR, hopefully on Long Island to avoid the $300 monthly cost of commuting to NYC and the hour to and from as well. 

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Some of you may remember my dad passed away last year. It was on July 1st. Since then we've been through all the "First ____ without dad" (birthdays, holidays, etc) except one. As coincidence would have it that last one is Father's Day. Last year on Father's Day it seemed like he was getting kind of down in the dumps so to cheer him up I wrote him a letter that I read to him basically telling him how much he means to me, etc. I never in a thousand years thought he would be gone just 2 weeks later. Of all the regrets I have with his passing, the one I don't have is "I wish I had told him how I feel". The point I'm trying to get to is this: If your dad's still alive and you and he are close, take the time this sunday to tell him how much he means to you (even if it's one of those "He already knows" kind of things). Pull him aside for a minute, call him, text him, whatever. Take it from someone who wishes he could talk to his dad one last time but can't, you may not have as much time as you think. 

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On 6/14/2017 at 2:11 AM, BrianS81177 said:

Some of you may remember my dad passed away last year. It was on July 1st. Since then we've been through all the "First ____ without dad" (birthdays, holidays, etc) except one. As coincidence would have it that last one is Father's Day. Last year on Father's Day it seemed like he was getting kind of down in the dumps so to cheer him up I wrote him a letter that I read to him basically telling him how much he means to me, etc. I never in a thousand years thought he would be gone just 2 weeks later. Of all the regrets I have with his passing, the one I don't have is "I wish I had told him how I feel". The point I'm trying to get to is this: If your dad's still alive and you and he are close, take the time this sunday to tell him how much he means to you (even if it's one of those "He already knows" kind of things). Pull him aside for a minute, call him, text him, whatever. Take it from someone who wishes he could talk to his dad one last time but can't, you may not have as much time as you think. 

Amen.  A thousand times amen.  I got the call from my mom that Dad was going to die any minute and I needed to hurry back to Michigan to see him.  He ended up hanging on for 3 weeks, the first week he was conscious and could communicate a bit.  I was able to tell him everything I needed to say, have him hear it, and have him understand it.  I am so thankful for that.

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