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Raw 3-3-14 - Raw in Chicago


MGFanJay
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This show was a blast. The pre-show was worthwhile just for the Punk mention, and then the show started off awesome with the Heyman-Brock stuff. They managed to take Heyman's past with Punk and turning it into the fans, and how they deserve to have Taker's streak taken away by BARRRROOOCK LESSSNAR! And then Brock killed Henry, tossed a monitor into the crowd and gave no fucks about doing so. The Usos got their big title win and Colt got a little airtime in the form of a fan with his fathead, and then Big E and Cesaro had a super-fun short match that furthered the breakup of the Americans and Big E was a dick. THEN THE SHIELD-WYATTS MATCH STARTED. This was an amazing first hour.

 

ROLLINS-MANIA started off the second hour with him just ruling the rematch. Then they had a billion star match that topped even the PPV one. It was just pure chaos and it a story. Take note, Young Bucks - this is how you do five billion things and tell a story in the process. You've got Seth leaving the Shield, but there's more to it. There's a reason for it, and it may not be the immediate end of the group. Then Fandango and Summer Rae had a tag match that died a death, furthered by Sheamus-Christian. Fine match, but the crowd didn't care about it. It at least featured some amusing burials of Christian and JR, making each guy far more likeable as a result of Vince's on-air bullying tonight. There was "no gimmicks needed" Chris Candido, and now there's "no fucks given" Christian. They're trying but, this match is as thrilling as drinking a lukewarm glass of water. THIS IS AW-FUL! "Here comes the skinny frog!" Sheamus barely kicked out of the skinny frog splash, so he must suck too then. Brogue kick won. YES IT'S OVER! (Clap clap clap clap)

 

Then they brawled backstage to continue this. Bellas faces Aksana and Alicia. Cole called them FOUR TREMENDOUS ATHLETES! The match was nothing special. The Steph-Bryan-HHH segment was glorious. Loved HHH saying that the asshole chant was the crowd's way to let Bryan know it's his turn to speak. Loved Steph putting over ALL THE STUFF WWE DOES FOR ITS ROSTER! See roster, you should be thankful for EVERYTHING WWE DOES FOR YOU! This wasn't really all that good, but was entertaining due to the crowd. YAY BEARER'S in the HOF. BOO, Big E's working twice. At least it wound up being a nothing match. Loved the wacky slappy hug from Cesaro. Loved the Bearer vid. The Bray-Cena stuff was fantastic. While Cena's portion was super-iffy, Bray brought the awesome from beginning to end. Loved them throwing as much filler as they could to prevent doing Bryan-Batista. AND THEN ORTON CAME OUT after a Hogan video. LOL @ the put some pants on sign. The main event match was...not good, but became a bigger deal with the post-match with Batista all but joining the Authority. Orton's allegiance is...somewhere. No Punk at all. Wow.

 

http://jayreviewsthings.blogspot.com/2014/03/wwe-raw-3-3-14.html

 

Screens -

 

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http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/vc1nvgn1wkz6jznqqgz7n6o81wg7aik5

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It is kind of perfect that the big "the internet fans will hijack RAW" show ended with HHH pedigreeing Bryan.

 

It's not bad booking and it's not bad for Bryan...but as a concise summary without context...it's pretty hilarious.

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Had no idea Raw was 3 hours now. I only watched the DB/Brock shenanigans. So many questions.

- Why are wrestlers now graded on a D to A+ scale?

- Why does Batista have shooting stars tattooed on his shoulder?

- With that ending, can anyone really tell me this company doesn't hate its fans?

But most importantly, why is Kane in a suit?

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I love Paul so much it's for reasons like this.  They looked around that locker room and wondered who could possibly come out to this crowd and deal with it and actually turn it in the direction they want without losing control of it and let them get some of it out of their system.

HHH didn't do it.  Stephanie didn't do it.
Bryan, nope.
Cena, nope.

"Um...hey Paul?"
"Yeah, I got it."

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This.  This is what I'll remember from Raw tonight.  So bizarre.  They show a clip from an upcoming action/car chase movie, but manage to show an extended clip featuring people driving towards a cliff and bantering, avoiding all the excitement, then cut to the Divas with Bella 1 going "That was amazing." then Natalya going "Oh (Brie or Nikki, I forget which) sounds like you've got a need for speed" followed by Bella going "No I don't Nattie" then Aksana going "I like fast cars".  It was like watching one of those car wreck scenes popular girls would put together when asked to do improv in high school drama.  Like lines didn't seem to answer one another.  If 'Need For Speed' tanks, I would sue WWE for the worst promotion I've ever seen.

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Shield and Wyatt's was just pure chaos. It was messy and violent. I loved Roman's big smile when Rollins was kicking all that ass.

WWE crowds are getting stupider as their "hijack" shit is being co-opted into the storylines and somehow the promotion is hotter/and the shows are better since they basically started fucking with the hardcore fans. Fuck with them forever, I say.

 

Still have no clue where they're going with the title match but I'm starting to think that they may go the Bryan defeats Hunter to win the title in the main event idea.

 

Oh, Usos winning was fucking great. Talk about a team that came in before they really figured out how to introduce new talent, bounced around in jobber spots in a floudering tag division, put on incredible performances and capitalized when they got their moment to be the best babyface team in the company. Awesome shit for them and I hope they get a good showcase at 'Mania.

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FUCKING FUCK THE SHIEL/WYATTS WAS AMAZINF ON EVERY LEVEL!!!b!nb1NBNB

They're doing so much all at once with The Shield.  They keep giving Rollins the chance to establish himself as the daredevil and he gets story segments in every match tailored to him.  Dean keeps being "wrong" about stuff but without going totally heel by just betraying the team.  Reigns gets in trouble and gets to play face in peril because of Dean, not because he's "evil" but because he's undependable and Reigns has to keep doing everything himself.

And on top of that the overall match is defined by how the Shield is breaking down because of all these individual little things and their match strategy isn't holding together because they clearly aren't talking.

And then that all leads to Rollins throwing a tantrum because he's caught in the middle, which in the heat of that moment must have felt justified.  THEY WERE FUCKING UP and HE WAS SUFFERING.  But the fact that they kept fighting and almost pulled it off made him regret his decision...but it was too  late.  Now he feels like the soldier that let his platoon down and knows he'll be blamed for what started as a problem between the other two.

The shot of Rollins at the end, you feel a certain amount of sympathy for him...but then they cut to Reigns who is just beaten down because of Rollins and there's no way Rollins can fix it or take it back.

 That was, like, a profound moment of emotions...all over the place emotions.
 
  The best part is that no one is being unreasonable except for Dean being a maniac, but they knew that when they teamed up with him.  They are all acting in a logical fashion right in the moment, but those in-the-moment decisions are having long-term consequences that they cant' control.
 
That's fucking relationships, man.  That's how breakups happen.  You're not wrong, but in the middle of the argument you say some shit because you feel justified that goes way over the edge, and now suddenly you ARE in the wrong.
 

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