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The Comedian

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Everything posted by The Comedian

  1. Ah, the objectivity of the left...matched only by its self-awareness and tolerance for dissenting viewpoints...
  2. I wonder if he ever used my idea for telling white wrestlers they can't do lucha moves because its cultural appropriation. Hell, every time a group of babyfaces get together in the ring he could accuse them of holding an insurrection. When he loses a match he could tell the crowd its ok because he identifies as the winner. He could bring out a manager in a lab coat and say, "This is my manager. He's a scientist, so everything I pay him to sa...I mean everything he says is true." Scientist manager's catchphrase: "The science is settled." Hell, you could do a whole bit where he brings a Hispanic kid out of the crowd and fawns over him until the kid says he's a Republican. Then Progressive Liberal could fly into a rage and scream, "Go back to Guatemala you ingrate! I'm glad we kept you in a cage!" Then again, I don't know if the Appalachian crowd would get the finer points of a "white liberals don't actually care about minorities, they just want their votes" gag, but it's an idea...
  3. Embiid gave us 28 and 10 on a torn meniscus, so...yeah, not a fraud. His only problem is how soon the window is closing before he Ralph Sampson's himself out of the league. Choke Rivers is who he is. He'll win you a title if you give him, like, four future Hall-of-Famers. Otherwise... But Ben SImmons? Who was supposed to be a cross between the next Magic and the next Lebron but turned out to be an overpriced Bruce Bowen? Yeah he's a complete fraud. And The Process is weird because even in failing The Process just proved that it's philosophy is correct. I mean the whole thought process of The Process is that the NBA draft is a crap shoot, moreso than ever with the one-and-done era of college ball and the emergence of European players. Even with all those picks the Sixers only really hit with Embiid. SImmons was a bust, but so were Jahlil Okafor and Nerlens Noel, two very solid picks from major college teams. Meanwhile, I dunno, you could go back to 2009 and draft some no-name scrote out of Arizona State and ten years later he's 35 ppg wonder James Harden. So The Process failed, but it failed because it was right. Or something like that.
  4. IMO the greatest serious promo of all time. RIP New Jack.
  5. Thanks for the info man. Like you said though, there's a world of difference between the bland superkick-machine Miyahara was a decade ago and the super-worker he is today...
  6. Bryan freelancing in Japan so that I could get Bryan vs. Miyahara or Kiyomiya or Nakajima would by far be my favorite option...
  7. Now you Commie fucks are hating on Yuengling? God, does anyone actually talk about wrestling any more in between all the virtue signaling around here? "No politics" my arse. Whining about QAnons and whatnot when some of you really think the 4th Reich is ready to spring up any second if you don't preach the good word of Rachel Maddow on your wrestling discussion board. Some wrestlers don't agree with the Church of the Donkey on Covid? I DON'T FUCKING CARE. God, the worst thing the internet's done in the last 20 years is make the people into their own propagandists...
  8. What's an EVP? I mean Google tells me its either Electronic Voice Phenomena or Employee Value Proposition, but neither of those give off a wrestling vibe to me...
  9. The brilliance of the Firefly Funhouse match is that, under the guise of mocking Cena's career, it actually mocks Vince's formula for making the top guy. And most importantly, it finally tells us what Vince's"brass ring" really is. Like many others before and since, Cena starts out by assuming it's a ripped body. Only by accident does he actually figure it out through his rapper gimmick and the opportunity it affords him to do dis rhymes: Vince's brass ring is cruelty. The willingness to mock, destroy, and bury your opponent in an utterly self-serving fashion - that's what makes you a cut above in Vince's world.
  10. I'm still trying to wrap my head around people "expecting better" from a company that's cool with wrestlers killing trainees...
  11. Honestly, if the rumors that Miz was willing to sandbag his own career by reteaming with Morrison out of fear that Vince was gonna give his old friend the Brian Myers treatment otherwise, then Miz deserves this even more...
  12. An oldest-youngest Rumble age breakdown cause why not?: Edit: WTH let's not be sexist and do the distaff Rumble too:
  13. LOL @ whoever predicted Edge and Orton going the distance as an FU to anyone who criticized the Greatest Match Ever being right on the money...
  14. It's easier if you pretend the Hurt Business are a group of red-pilled African Americans who have come to realize that the Democrats policy of "fighting racism" through smug condescension and provocation at best is completely wrong-headed and at worst is wrong by design (because the Democratic party really wanting racism to go away is like exterminators wanting roaches and rats to go extinct after all), and that they're actually better off fighting racism from the right, since the right would actually gain from uplifting the "I love my Confederate flag" crowd out of their ignorance...
  15. The situation in Philly basically comes down to "the GM is a buffoon but the owner is too proud to admit it". I just left a company like that a year and a half ago. Not fun, I don't blame Pederson one bit if he wanted out.
  16. Damn, 2020 tryna take all it can before midnight...
  17. I was reminded frequently while watching this tribute of the words of a great poet... ...I think everybody felt The Burn last night...
  18. I was gonna say, his part in Dark Knight is small, but it's absolutely pivotal to the movie. And he's excellent in it.
  19. Not to mention being a key plot point to Requiem For A Heavyweight. I believe Nikolai Volkoff was the only Russian wrestler who was actually of Slavic descent...
  20. Liberals can't stomach anyone disagreeing with the Party? Shocking...
  21. Miz's figure four is still better than Punk's elbow drop...
  22. Hell, I still am. For fuck's sake, the guy is so generous he threw away the last year or so of his career to reteam with his buddy just to make sure Vince didn't give Morrison the Curt Hawkins treatment. He deserves a reward...
  23. judging from the first twelve I'd say you've got Criterion Channel... Let's Scare Jessica To Death might be the most underrated horror movie ever...
  24. Retribution seems like an idea they came up with before 3 Ruthless Aggression-era guys that they brought back for roster depth and an underutilized midcarder got together and suddenly became the new Four Horsemen...
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