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For Hulk Hogan I find this animosity In no way a curiousity His actions are not anomalous For his bigotry is as titanic as a hippopotamus Therefore his apology must be bigger For Hulkamania needs a gravedigger All because the immortal one Espoused his hatred of an eight foot oh fuck

"Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

The day he joined TNA, Corgan could be overheard saying, Today is not the greatest day I have ever known.

Ernie Ladd was pretty awesome. Let's talk about him for 26 pages instead.

Anyone else think of Flair in the mental hospital when they saw the Tully pic?

This is essentially the story of post-slavery American culture. If you look at all the cultural movements in this country since emancipation, they were essentially all started by black people. As soon as white people caught on the black people have essentially been pushed out. Seriously, I had a conversation with someone about cultural appropriation, and the person asked me sarcastically, "If a black person makes a rock record, are they appropriating white culture?" This person didn't even know that rock music was created by black people, because as far as they've ever known no black people make rock music. The only uniquely American culture is the post slavery African American culture. It is basically what happens when a group of people have to make up their whole culture from the ground up. Black people were freed, but isolated from the culture they had when they were shipped here. They were segregated from the rest of society and had to make up everything as they went along. Our country is essentially a never ending cycle of taking black culture while hating the people who created it.

One of those fools is dating Alexa?

Looks like we need another Racial Draft.

AJ is irreplaceable.

Shit, I'd take a Noelle with zero wrestling talent that shits the ring every night over AJ at any point in time.

Tell me that dude didn't just accuse a black guy of appropriating black culture.

We just call woman doctors "doctors." Doctor of Hugganomics would be the most adorable nickname in professional wrestling ever.

I don't even like Hogan's matches. His promos were always the same. He was a son of a bitch backstage and NOW we know he's a bigot. I'm all for throwing the piece of shit away. Did you guys hear the latest? Big Fresh is a racist.

That's just the basic version. "Shine-heat-comeback-finish" is the shorthand label for the general formula; and it's not just wrestling, you can see the exact same storytelling progression in most Hollywood movies as well.In reality, there's much more to a match than just that. A bad match can happen all by itself, but a great one always has a context. That's partly why the big climactic matches in All Japan in the 1990s are still considered to be so special; because Baba & Co. were pretty meticulously detailed in the way they built up long-term storylines. Things that happened years ago would still influence what was happening now. Paul Heyman's best-booked matches in ECW tended to have several different storylines happening to intersect at once, creating a multi-car pileup effect which could be spectacular to watch. Point is, the match isn't just the match. It's also the angle and the hype and the promos and the entrances and the announcing and the differing personalities and the differing body types and the contrast between their in-ring styles and a hundred other things. The Rock already has the people on their feet and "electrified" before ever making physical contact with his opponent. And if you ever want to hear a crowd roar in a manner to make your hair stand up, just go find any of the old Mid-South tag matches where Bill Watts is in one of his post-retirement comeback tag-team revenge matches and finally manages to catch Michael Hayes and punch him right in his stupid mouth. Oh, I totally agree. So much so, actually, that this sort of build and payoff in storylines built inside actual matches feels like something else entirely, like another level of the craft. Almost like comparing a fun pulp novel to something like LoTR. Yeah, they're both books, but one is working on a few more levels than the other (but this is not to say we should enjoy one more than the other). It's the reason why, though I enjoyed the Cena/Owens series, I felt like we missed a couple matches. That first match was such a spectacle because of all the moves and seeing Owens, a cocky upstart, match Cena move for move and eventually beat him. Part of this is the desperation and high stakes WWE main event style tries to build with multiple finisher kickouts, but I feel like that first match COULD have been something like those All Japan classics if we had gotten the first two acts. As it was, we basically got the same really good third act match three times with, I think, diminishing returns. Now, as far as that basic structure is concerned, I feel like it, like it was designed to over years and years, can do a great job of engaging and entertaining an audience as long as the parts are placed and paced well. A big criticism of the Reigns/Wyatt match at Battleground (aside of starting with headlocks and ignoring the story they'd built to start) was Bray's boring heat segments which relied a lot on a couple of long chinlocks. I really liked this match, but I feel like Bray certainly needed to build heat with different, impactful-looking offense, if only based on Reigns's character as someone who can take a punch. Bray, though, is AWESOME at cutoff spots and Reigns has developed into a really good hope spot and comeback guy, in part because almost all of his signature moves pop the crowd, look painful, and can be pulled off from a variety of set-up positions. This match has historical context with the Shield/Wyatt feud, previous singles matches between the two, and a storyline promoted on tv. But it pretty much ignored those things. Still, there is a way to dissect the match using its component parts that really makes me feel like I'm understanding what's happening on a fun, new level. Dean posted this match in the 2015 INTERNET MOTY thread, and I feel like it does a really great job of telling the story of that basic match structure without a bunch of context. Or, if it's there, as someone without that context, I still really enjoyed this match out of Quiet Storm, who I haven't seen wrestle since the early days of ROH, and Mikey Nicholls, who I've only ever heard mentioned on the board. http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2ylit0_mikey-nicholls-vs-quiet-storm-noah-sem_sport It tells a simple story, both guys do a good, not great, job of telling their part of the story, and I think it works. The Cena/Owens series is nonsense. There is no structure, no internal story, barely even an external story. It's a standard indie "let's hit all of our cool big moves and kick out". The first match started out like the 30th match in a long term always cycling feud. The second and third matches were slightly better at least due to SOME story of moves being countered due to familiarity and moves being teased before hit and kicked out of. People losing their minds of it can't even tell you why it was good or what story was being told. The only reason people are into the Cena indie sprints this year is because they're with actual indie guys they like. The match with Rusev at Fastlane was signifcantly better in every way to the Cena/Owens series, but people thought it was boring because they didn't get what was a very basic story and structure. I find that Japan has pretty much always been the best at clear structures that work. From the JWA days on. I love those JWA/early NJ/AJ matches which is basically the 70s NWA style at a faster pace. Most usually went 2/3 falls, first fall going to the face or native worker, generally focused on one or two holds and not trying for big moves. Second fall generally went to the gaijin or heel, usually with an impact move fairly early into the fall and generally the impact move was something built up the entire first fall. Fall three is more even with both guys trying to score the win any way they can, always selling the first two falls, often trying for what won their other falls. You get like...Inoki/Sakaguchi vs Thesz/Gotch and just study it. Or Baba vs Destroyer from JWA and AJ. Or even the hour long Bruno vs Baba match. I don't think it is a coincidence that every great NWA guy from the 70s and 80s would be even better in Japan. The structure was perfect from the start. Even when AJ went crazy with the head drops in the 90s, they still used the basic structure as the core of matches. WWE has never done matches like that. Their version has always been "do some chain wrestling and mat work for 5-10 minutes, then get back to normal signature moves trading and finisher kick out". Indie companies do the same thing, or try to emulate the Japanese still without actually have any idea of how or why it works.

She's got the look I go for, that's for sure.

Oh, he's preaching there. How disappointing.

Has technology reached a point where Vince can have John Cena slam Andre?

Seems kinda appropriate...

I've never had more faith in anything to fix a difficult situation than I have in the poetry of Brooke Hogan.

It's possible he still works there, and just hasn't bothered showing up.

I always thought Stone intentionally made it garish to look at. It's visually striking of course, but not necessarily in a good way, IMO. I would put JFK on this list, though. It's still probably the best edited film I've ever seen.

Who wants a serious discussion over such a sensitive issue when mocking Hulk Hogan for being a racist and a fucking moron is so much more fun?

From Facebook (huge): ​

Spoiled due to size--

It was...

STEROIDS INHIBITING ME BLOOD IN MY PEE ANABOLIC HORROR

Nice chance for Vince & WWE to publicly distance themselves from a racist and pretend they're not racist as fuck. Another nice chance for mass media to pick apart one tape where one person said some shit that clearly sucks, instead of constantly tackling systemic institutional and cultural racism that dominates the West.

Not familiar with Virgil Flynn, is he any good? ETA: Is it too much to hope he's a cross between WWE Superstar Virgil and Jerry Flynn?

I think we all could

There were plenty of AJ/NOAH tags that were great without a "true" hot tag, but then again, their face/heel dynamic tended to be more subtle. Of course, they did also have an even more annoying cliche: The Cold Tag... You know, where the vet on one team is rolling, then tags in the rookie while the other team still has a vet in the ring and you can hear the crowd deflate instantly because they know it's over and who's winning. In the US, I guess there will always be some degree of a hot tag because it's the most logical way for the face team switch momentum if the heels are going to have sustained offense, I just wish there was more variety in the length of the heat segments and some occasional role reversals with a heel just sneaking out of a danger and a fresh partner changing momentum. It's tough for me to get into regular 2 on 2 tags in WWE because there's just this 6th sense for how long the heat segment's gonna go, and there's no credible nearfalls before the hot tag. Also unrelated to tag teams, I did want to comment on 90s AJ earlier as it pertains to character work. What sticks out about those main event matches to me was how everyone had a clear character that was basically only established in their matches. They had few promos or backstage segments, and I'd guess that less than 1% of the posters here speak enough Japanese to gain any insight from the speaking time they did get. Still, everyone can tell you that Jumbo was the bitter legend struggling to hold onto his spot, Misawa was the class-act generational phenom, Kawada thought he should've been Misawa and had a chip on his shoulder, Kobashi was the ultimate competitor who fought with courage and honor, Taue was the guy who developed a little slower and needed to put all the pieces together, and Akiyama was the stud rookie who only fell short of the others due to lack of experience. All this just came across naturally in their matches with each other, and the occasional midcarder or big bad foreigner thrown in. They were truly telling stories with their characters in the form of matches. The use of body language in addition to the pace, selling, lack of selling, huge moves, etc made it easy to follow. The characters were simple ones that appear in all types of fiction, but being able to tell those stories so clearly through the lens of a professional wrestling match is why those guys should be and are regarded as all-time greats.

Yeah... Which is a really solid thing to do, so I shouldn't complain.

I like how every fantasy booking involving the NXT Four Horsewomen always has them turning on Bayley.

I'm not sure if this has been said, I guess the issue I have with it is, why should I care if Hogan is racist? Lots of people are racist. Some white people are racist, some black people are racist, some Asians are racists. People are sexist, homophobic, you name it. I guess I don't look at wrestlers as super humans, I know people in my every day life that hate some other type of people, whether it be friends, family, or co-workers. Hogan not wanting his daughter to date a black person has zero impact on my life and zero impact on how I feel about him because he was just a wrestler to me. And I'll still enjoy his matches, hate his backstage politics, etc. the same today as I did a week ago. His personal views on life don't really matter to me, he's just a dude from Florida to me when it comes to personal life.

CJ Wilson has decided to "step away from football". Please remember, 3 weeks ago, he decided to step away from his fingers.

My God, they perfected the Bella cloning. We're all doomed.

I think a big problem is that there's not enough emphasis on portraying one's character or angle through the lens of a match anymore. Everyone is just going out to have epics (which are great at times, don't get me wrong) whether or not it actually makes sense for a given angle. Like why was Orton/Sheamus at Battleground going so long and having finisher kickouts? A 50/50 brawl with a flash finisher (be it RKO or Brogue Kick) would work so much better there. It's getting to the point where the best WWE matches are the short, simple ones that end on one finisher. And don't even get me started on tag matches. When was the last non-squash that didn't feature a hot tag?

Just completed a full run of VoG. I got some pretty crazy loot. First, I nabbed FATEBRINGER. Then Aetheon dropp TWO exotics: the Vex Mythoclast and Universal Remote. I already have them both (but I think I have almost all of the non-PoE exotic weapons at this point), and would gladly trade them both for Vision of Confluence, but still...wow.

10/7/92 - Tsuruta/Taue vs. Williams/Gordy (AJPW) ****1/2 I believe this is the last Jumbo Tsuruta match that Dave Meltzer ranted over ****, which means that this match is possibly the last Jumbo Tsuruta match I’ll be watching for this list. I’ve thought about ways to expand this list to cover a wider range of matches, but as of now I don’t have anything concrete. So as of right now I’m bound to Dave’s list, despite the fact that it seems to have some pretty glaring holes. Even with the glaring holes in the list and my viewing only a very small sample size of his matches, I think I can say with full confidence that Jumbo Tsuruta is one of the five best wrestlers to ever lace up the boots. It’s funny because I’ve really only seen his feud with Misawa and a couple of matches with Tenryu, but he more often than not comes off as the best wrestler in all of his matches. Everything he does seems to have a purpose, which may be the best trait a wrestler can have. He knows when to play to the crowd, he knows when to turn on the mean, he knows how to wrestle on top so he looks unbeatable and he knows when to sell for his opponents to build sympathy. He really is everything you want in a wrestler, and he’d probably have had another five to ten years as a main eventer if his health wouldn’t have failed him. This match is another great performance as the Miracle Violence Connection are essentially kaiju from across the ocean coming to destroy Jumbo and Taue. Jumbo probably gets the least ring time in this match, but everything he does means something. Taue plays face in peril for most of this match and Jumbo is essentially a walking hope spot. Williams and Gordy double team and cut Taue off from his corner. Whenever Taue gets away from Williams and Gordy Jumbo comes in hits a couple of big moves and brings Taue back in. The Americans cut Taue off and the process starts all over again. As the match goes on Jumbo’s hope spots become more frequent, until eventually Taue can hit his chokeslam on Gordy for the win. It is basic southern tag formula, and as always it works the best when both teams have clearly defined roles. The heels have to be dastardly, they have to be able to cut off one of their opponents and use double teams to keep him down. The faces have to be able to convey sympathy without looking weak and have to be able to show fire when they make their comebacks. There is not a better person in the history of wrestling than Jumbo Tsuruta to show fire. He comes in hits his flying knee and throws up his fist and everyone in the building is behind him. He hits his dropkick and a top rope cross body in this match too. If this is the last Jumbo match I ever watch, I’m satisfied, as this was basically the perfect farewell match. He hits all of his big moves but lets Taue get the pin. This was really good, and well deserving of its ****1/2 rating. 11/25/92 - Bret vs. Michaels (WWF) ****1/2 This match is something that should have been right up my alley as an 11-year-old, but I don’t think I’ve ever watched this match. In 1992 these two guys were getting their first taste of the main event scene and I was a pretty big fan of both guys. This match, and this event for that matter, is 1992 WWF in a nutshell. Hogan is on hiatus, so the show is much more focused on good wrestling than on storylines and gimmicks. The problem on being a company that hasn’t focused on wrestling, is that they haven’t really made the transition between the style of the 80s and the style of the 90s. This match, and these two guys, are kind of the bridge that is going to take the WWF into the future. The first half of this match is full of chain wrestling that could have taken place in 1983 just as easy as 1992. The biggest flaw of this match is that the chain wrestling doesn’t go anywhere, it just kind of evolves into a faster paced, 90 style match. This match is really good, but this could have been special if they would have taken what they did in the first half and weaved it through the rest of the match. Bret Hart posted his shoulder early in the match, and Michaels went after it for about 15 seconds and never goes after it again. That is not saying that this match isn’t good. The second half of this match is all action and Bret and Shawn show justify their positions in the main event. Hulk Hogan has essentially been the main event wrestler for the decade before this, and his matches are essentially all the same. He comes out hot, gets beat up for a while, hulks up, drops a leg and wins. This match has all types of twists and it is the transitions that make it really good. There are a couple of spots that they go back to a couple of times as transitions that really make this match feel different. There is a rope running spot early in the match that ends with a Bret cross body. Later in the match Bret tries it again and eats a massive hot shot on the top rope. Near the end Bret goes for a cross body when Shawn is tied up in the ropes and Shawn bails and Bret flies into the ropes. Bret goes for his reverse roll up three different times. Shawn holds onto the ropes the first time, and he bails and sends Bret flying out of the ring on the second. Bret notices Shawn arguing with the ref and then he gets it on the third try. That is a spot that is so often just a throwaway transition, but here it means something. It is just a really smartly worked match, except they forget the work they put in during the first half of the match. I liked this match, but I don’t think it lived up to its ****1/2 rating. I’ll give it ****. 11/27/92 - Misawa/Kawada vs. Baba/Kobashi (AJPW) ****3/4 This is my very first Giant Baba match. Baba, who is the strangest built person I’ve ever seen without a shirt, wrestles like the old man at the basketball court. He isn’t going to try to run and jump with these young guys, but he has enough experience to exploit these youngsters with his fundamentals. He moves slow as molasses, but he actually mixes it up with Misawa and Kawada. During the introductions I assumed he was going to just come in do a couple of spots and let Kobashi do the heavy lifting, but he participates in this match. He takes a couple of decent bumps and everything. I imagine given his size and build that his body couldn’t have been in the best shape, but he’s doing everything you could expect for a nearly 55 year old man. He takes a backdrop early in the match, hits a piledriver on Kawada and a DDT on Misawa, and is a more than capable tag partner for Kobashi. This is a really fun match. I don’t know if I would have ever watched this if I wasn’t doing this project, but I’m glad I stumbled upon it. This isn’t an all-time classic that I’ll go back and watch for the next 20 years. This is the type of match you turn on when you’re eating dinner and just want to watch something fun. I’m not going to give this ****3/4 like Meltzer did, but I will give this **** with the caveat that you’ll have more fun watching this match than some ranked much higher. This is like watching a celebrity basketball game and discovering that the Secretary of Education can ball. Could he make it in the league? Probably not, but it’s incredibly fun to watch. 11/27/92 - Taue/Akiyama vs. Williams/Gordy (AJPW) **** This is joined in progress with Dr. Death trying to rip Taue’s arm off. I really appreciate how Gordy and Williams are used in Japan. They are rough and brawlers, but they also are very good technical wrestlers. It adds to the story telling. These two guys could very well try to play it straight and try to win with their wrestling expertise, but what fun is that? They aren’t just trying to win, they’re trying to beat your ass. They are kind of like when Ric Flair would defend his title against a midcarder, and pin him with his feet on the ropes. He didn’t cheat because he had to, he cheated because he wanted to. This is also the first appearance of Akiyama on the list, and he’s full of youthful babyface fire. He does a seemingly endless amount of crossbodys and generally wrestles like a rookie in 1992 should wrestle. That also means that Williams and Gordy beat his ass, and he takes the pin. This is clipped down to the last 9 minutes, but it’s fun and a good introduction to Akiyama. I feel like this is a little too clipped to rate properly, but I’d say for what I watched this is probably around ***1/2 or so. 12/11/92 - Liger/Kanemoto vs. Orihara/Ultimo (NJPW) **** Kanemoto, Ultimo Dragon and Jushin Thunder Liger are three guys we’ll be seeing a lot of throughout the 90s, and this is a pretty good representation of what all three of these guys are about. This is the earliest Koji Kanemoto match I’ve ever watched, and he’s surly as shit already. I don’t think I’ve seen any of his Tiger Mask III stuff, but I always associated that gimmick as being purely babyface, but the Koji that I know likes to kick the shit out of people and act like an asshole. He’s a huge asshole in this match, and Liger isn’t much better. Sometimes when watching Japanese wrestling the language barrier makes it a little difficult to understand the heel/face dynamic, Kanemoto never really has that issue. He wrestles like a guy who takes up mixed martial arts and decides that the best way to practice is to kick unsuspecting stranger’s asses in the street. Liger, who I believe has been a face in every previous match on this list, is one of the meanest heels you’ll ever see. He seems to enjoy every little bit of pain he can inflict on his opponent. He hits Orihara with one of the most vicious vertical suplexes from the apron to the floor I’ve ever seen, and then comes back into the ring and does the Hulk Hogan (smdh) hand to the ear taunt. The crowd hates him, and he deserves 100% of their disdain. Orihara takes 75% of the punishment in this match letting Ultimo come in with his lucharesu style, mile a minute offense off of the hot tags. This match is kind of like a prelude to what is coming in the next few years in NJPW, Michinoku Pro, and the WCW Cruiserweight Division. These guys work a style that is fun, flashy, fast paced, but not devoid of storytelling. It is one of my favorite styles of wrestling, especially when the characters are as well defined as they are here. This is an easy **** and another match that I really liked, but wouldn’t have ever watched if not doing this project. Matches like this are the best part of doing this project, I loved finding this hidden gem. 12/28/92 - Windham/Pillman vs. Steamboat/Douglas (WCW) ****1/4 I like three of these dudes a lot, and Douglas is more than serviceable as a tag worker. Let’s see how this goes. Once again the southern tag formula gives us an outstanding match. OK so leading up to this match apparently Barry Windham attacked Steamboat and Douglas with a chair, so the faces are pissed. The face shine sequence of this match has Steamboat and especially Douglas using tactics they usually wouldn’t use to gain the advantage. There is a sequence where Steamboat body slams Windham on the floor, and Douglas takes him to the ramp and body slams him again. They have all the momentum until Windham distracts Douglas when he’s on the top rope allowing Pillman to hit him with a dropkick that knocks him all the way to the floor. Pillman and Windham then beat the living shit out of Douglas. Windham is a really good heel, he’s just a big, strong, mean looking motherfucker, who looks like he enjoys beating people up. Pillman is a little more smarmy, and is figuring out to be that weasely heel that he’d become in the Hollywood Blondes. Douglas sells really well too, he takes a right hand from Windham and sprawls halfway out of the ring over the bottom rope. Douglas makes a comeback, tags in Steamboat, who is one of the best fiery babyfaces of all time. He is putting a spark to his kindling, but before his fire catches completely, Windham kills him dead with a powerslam. Ricky Steamboat is the ultimate sympathetic babyface. He isn’t just getting his ass kicked the whole time, he never stops fighting back and the crowd buys all the way in. If there is a flaw in this match it is that Steamboat’s comeback doesn’t feel earned. Steamboat takes a couple of punches, and starts pointing at Windham. Windham keeps beating on him and he keeps pointing, but eventually he blocks a punch and fires back with chops and punches of his own. Are we supposed to believe that Windham got tired of beating on him and his punches started to have less effect? I don’t know, but it leads to Steamboat making a tag, all four men brawling and Douglas hitting his belly-to-belly suplex for the win. This is really good, and a testament to what can happen when four guys who know how to work the tag formula put it all together. ****1/4 sounds just about right. 12/28/92 - Vader vs. Sting (WCW) ****1/2 Somethings just go together. Peanut butter and jelly, hot dogs and mustard, Shakira and me, and Vader vs. Sting. OK, before I go any further I have to address something, Jesse Ventura is wearing a Malcom X hat and Vader comes to the ring in a wave cap. What the hell was going on in WCW in 1992? Was Rachel Dolezal the wardrobe consultant? Vader is one of the best wrestlers ever when it comes to looking invincible. He starts this match by beating Sting within an inch of his life, he hits two military press hotshots, but makes the mistake of letting Sting get to the outside to catch his breath. He sends Sting off the ropes, and Sting uses his speed and agility to hit a couple of kicks to Vader’s head before hitting Vader with a release German suplex. Vader gets a lot of credit as a worker, but not nearly enough for some of the bumps he takes. That is a huge dude to be taking release German suplexes on the back of his neck. Sting hits a pescado, before getting back in the ring and hitting a DDT and a super DDT. Vader bails to the outside and Sting follows him and tries to hit a Stinger Slash on the guard rail. Vader moves, and the ass whooping resumes. Vader’s punches, and clotheslines look like he’s legit trying to knock his opponent out. He hits Sting with some of the hardest strikes you’ll ever see in a wrestling match. Sting’s selling of Vader’s offense is phenomenal. Sting is holding his hands up like a boxer who has taken a big shot and is just hoping he can hold out until the round ends before the referee stops the fight. He’s not really defending Vader’s punches, he’s just trying to withstand them. Vader being a 450 lb. behemoth, tires himself out and Sting is able to see an opening. Sting fires back with rights and lefts before hitting a Samoan drop. Sting heads to the top rope and hits a splash, but Harley Race distracts him so Vader can take over again. Vader in that instance decides that he wants to kill sting and goes to the top rope and splashes him. Sting kicks out at two and Vader goes up again, but this time Sting gets up and is able to use Vader’s momentum to turn it into a powerslam for the win. This is a great match between two guys who are willing to take a beating in order to put their opponent over. Sting took about 750 punches straight to the face, and Vader took suplexes and multiple moves from the top rope. If you haven’t watched this match, go to the WWE Network and watch it now. This is everything you could ask for in the classic fiery babyface vs. unbeatable monster trope. I think I’d push this up to *****, I couldn’t ask for more in this match. So I’m done with all of the matches that Meltzer ranked for 1992, but before I move on to 1993 I’m going to review a handful of other matches from 1992. If anyone has any suggestions from 1992 let me know and I’ll try to get to them.

Well, I wouldn't call it official, but...

"Hey Dad, I'm writing this poem about you and I can't quite get the last line, can you give me some help? So far I got.... If you knew my father, you'd know he loves you all brother, He even loves his best friends wife and I'm sure plenty of others, So please don't throw away, your old Hulkster action figures... Any ideas Dad?" Brooke Hogan, yesterday.

So much for my hopes that Thunder in Paradise would end up back in syndication again. This is a far bigger loss than Dukes of Hazzard or The Cosby Show. IT WAS KNIGHT RIDER ONLY WITH A COOL ASS FUCKING BOAT!

"How much does this guys weigh?" will never, ever, ever, ever get old. Never realized who he was until later and was pleased that he was part of it. Just wish I knew before meeting him at a Christmas party.

At least JJ Abrams is going to save Star Wars for us all.....right?.......right? Please tell me I'm right?????

Cretaeceous World, obviously.

Ok, I did!

I pray I never have to hear that freakin' "I bet my life on you" song again, and I've only heard it in commercials and promos for things.

8/15/92 - Toyota vs. Yamada (AJW) ***** I’m watching this about 2 weeks after the Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch match from NXT Takeover: Unstoppable. That is probably my favorite women’s match ever, but this one has a reputation that makes me believe it could overtake it in my rankings. Thus, I’m going to compare and contrast them. There are some things in this match that are clearly better than Banks vs. Lynch. Yamada throws some really nasty kicks, Toyota’s moonsaults and dives are great, and both of these women throw a hell of a suplex. None of those things are half as compelling as Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch’s selling in their NXT Women’s Title match. This is a very good match, and they do a lot of high quality work, but without the selling it doesn’t really mean much. Yamada spends at least 5 minutes kicking Toyota’s legs and putting her in multiple submissions that affect her lower body only for Toyota to fight back and start hitting missile dropkicks and moonsaults like nothing ever happened. She literally started sprinting as soon as she took over on offense. The art of wrestling has nothing to do with how many flips you can do, how many suplexes you can throw, or how spectacular your finisher is, the art of wrestling is selling. If the workers aren’t selling, how can we as the audience buy that anything they are doing matters. If I was to judge this match on just offensive moves, this would blow the Banks/Lynch match out of the water, but as much as I love suplexes and dives if I had to choose which one was better I’d choose Banks/Lynch 100 times out of 100. Toyota and Yamada did a lot of cool moves, but I never felt invested in the match. Even the after match angle where Toyota tried to stop the officials from shaving Yamada’s head came off as false, because the match didn’t seem to be that hard fought. As an audience we were supposed to believe that Toyota respected Yamada so much after the match that she didn’t want Yamada to have to go through with the hair vs. hair stipulation. It would have worked much better if she would have actually sold Yamada’s offense. Think about all of the best post match angles you can think of, Flair/Savage from WrestleMania 8, Canadian Stampede, and WrestleMania 13 when Steve Austin refused assistance to the locker room, they all are so affective because Randy Savage and Steve Austin sold their injuries. After Sasha Banks retained her title she subtly asked the ref to raise her other arm, because she couldn’t lift the arm Becky Lynch spent so much time working on. Once again the Banks/Lynch match is more affecting. Sasha Banks told the ref to raise the other arm the way that you would tell your friend his zippers down, but the moment rang out to the viewer like she yelled it into a bullhorn. The only reason she did it was to put over the arm work of her opponent. That is how you show respect for your opponent, by making sure everyone in the audience knows that you only got through the match by the skin of your teeth. This is not a ***** match, this is probably around ****, and that is probably a little generous. It may very well be a problem I have with the joshi style, but this may be the most disappointing match I’ve watched since I’ve started this project. There are matches where I disagreed with the rating, but this is the first I just don’t understand the rating at all. 8/20/92 - Misawa/Kawada/Kikuchi vs. Tsuruta/Taue/Ogawa (AJPW) ****1/2 Sadly this feud is coming to an end, and despite Jumbo Tsuruta’s career as the ace of All Japan all but over, he’s still very good here. With that said it is very apparent that it is Misawa and Kawada’s turn to be on top as the crowd reacts to them louder than anyone else. Misawa is the chosen one, but Kawada is at least as popular if not more popular than Misawa with this crowd. It is almost like Austin and The Rock in the early 2000s, Austin was the top guy, but there were definitely places where The Rock was more over. Once again this match is excellent, and Jumbo spends half of his time in the match trying to kill Kikuchi. He even puts him in a Liontamer, which may be the very first time that move was ever used. Another thing that happens in this match is that the Kawada/Taue feud seems to be coming to a head. There was a spot in the match were Kawada was thinking whether or not he was going to throw this match out the window just to kick Taue’s ass. After the match ends, after Jumbo backdrops Kikuchi in a way that would violate every concussion protocol, Kawada has to be held back by the referee. This is right around ****1/2, which for these dudes isn’t their best, but still so damn good. One day when I have the time, or the motivation, I’d like to go back and watch every six man from 90-92 and rank them. There are two I think that are clearly better than the rest, but all the others are right around the ****1/2. 8/22/92 - Tsuruta/Taue vs. Williams/Gordy (AJPW) ****1/4 Somehow some way this is the first match I’ve seen between these two teams. These two teams have a match in 1990 that is also on the list, but I couldn’t find it on the internet, so this is likely the only time I’ll be writing about these two teams wrestling each other. It’s sad, because they really complement each other really well. They are kind of mirror images of each other as no nonsense, straight ahead, ass kickers. These are the two teams voted “Most Likely to Kick Some Ass,” in the 1992 All Japan yearbook, and they spend the better part of a half hour kicking the ever living shit out of each other. One thing I really like in this match is that when it’s time to run in to break up a pin or submission, both teams come in with the full intention to hurt their opponent enough that their partner has a chance to gain the advantage. So many time you see someone come in and kick their opponent just hard enough to break the hold or stop the referee’s count. It’s affective don’t get me wrong, but it leaves their partner in a position to receive more punishment. Not these dudes, they come in and put a beating on their opponent so their partner can make a comeback. Once again, it is the small things in a wrestling match that take it from average to good, and good to great. These teams wrestle this match like they know that the difference between winning and losing is razor thin, and they can’t leave anything to chance. These know that their opponents are legit threats and they treat them as such. They take advantage of every opportunity to inflict pain on their opponent, because they know that eventually all of those extra blows will help them in the long run. This match turns to the gaijin’s favor when Dr. Death comes in to breakup Jumbo’s sleeper hold and he not only breaks up the submission, but goes after Tsuruta’s knee while doing it. Two-thirds of the way through this match they sow the seed of the Japanese team’s downfall in order to reap the rewards later. The finishing sequence of this match is Jumbo having Gordy on the ropes, but is unable to finish him because he’s hobbled. It is apparent that Jumbo is in control of the situation, except instead of hitting his usual running lariats, he has to resort to short-arm versions. If he only had his full strength, he would have probably put Gordy away when Taue has Williams occupied on the outside of the ring, but he doesn’t giving Williams the opportunity to come in and kick his leg (from under his leg?) allowing Gordy to hit his powerbomb. This was a really fucking good match, I’d probably bump this up to ****1/2. 8/29/92 - Bret vs. Bulldog (WWF) ****1/4 So today at work me and a couple of coworkers were discussing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and how we all liked Secret of the Ooze better than the original movie. We were all between the ages of 8 and 12 when Secret of the Ooze came out, and agreed that it was everything we wanted from a Ninja Turtles movie. We don’t care if it is the worst movie of all time, to our preteen brains it was perfect. I say that to say this, this match happened when I was 11-years old, and I LOVE this match more than it probably deserves. I’m not going to apologize for it. This is not Bret Hart’s best match, but this is probably the consummate Bret Hart match. Bret’s biggest strength of a wrestler is that he is a perfectionist when it comes to making everything look and feel authentic. This match is him being the perfectionist in front of a crowd that is dying to buy into this match. Davey Boy Smith is a more than game opponent, but this is the Bret Hart show from beginning to end. Bret is on his way to becoming the top babyface in the company at this point, but in Bulldog’s home town he is playing the dastardly heel. If this matched happened anywhere else in the world Bret Hart would be playing the scrappy underdog, but Bret’s understands that is not his correct role for this match. Bret Hart knew that the only person who would have been cheered against the British Bulldog on this night was a reincarnated Winston Churchill. The first half of this match Bret looks like an unbeatable champion. He is just grinding Davey Boy Smith into dust by keeping him grounded and wearing him down with submissions. All of Davey’s hope spots organically come from him countering something that Bret has done before, like when Bulldog counters Bret’s flurry of European uppercuts with a back slide. Though he is dominating you can see the frustration growing with every move that won’t put him away. Bret locks on a sleeper and won’t let go when the Bulldog got to the ropes. Bret goes back to the sleeper once too often leading to Bulldog’s comeback and Bret sells everything like death. He takes all of Davey Boy Smith’s biggest shots, including the running powerslam, but still kicks out a two. After a double clothesline spot, Bret locks in the Sharpshooter, but Davey gets to the ropes. So these two dudes at different points look unstoppable, defeated, and now that they’ve emptied their clips Bulldog counters a sunset flip and pins Bret Hart clean in the middle of the ring. There are a couple of problems with this match, like Bulldog being blown up for most of it, but I still give this *****. It is the exact match that was appropriate for that crowd, between these guys, on that day. 8/29/92 - Savage vs. Warrior (WWF) **** This is a match I know I’ve seen multiple times, but damn how did I forget it was this good. Bret vs. Bulldog is the match everyone remembers, but this isn’t far behind. Unless I’m missing something, Dave Meltzer ranked two Ultimate Warrior matches over **** and Randy Savage was his opponent to both of them. The WrestleMania VII match that we all remember was more of a great angle than a great match, but this very well could have been a great match if it wasn’t for the angle. The best part is that it acknowledges the previous match, but is completely different. The WrestleMania VII match is basically Savage doing every dastardly deed he can to keep Warrior down, but the Warrior just keeps coming back. This is a battle of attrition where both guys are so evenly matched that by the end of the match both men are barely able to stand up. This is probably Warriors best performance, but ultimately it is ultimately all for not, we don’t get a satisfying conclusion. This was on its way to being something special, before Ric Flair and Mr. Perfect come to ringside and drag everything down with an angle that consists of them attacking both Savage and Warrior. It wasn’t a bad angle, but it really fucked up the pacing of this match. This is an easy ****, but it could have been so much more if they would have let the angle wait until after the match. I understand they were trying to keep both guys strong, but the match these two were building could have been the win Savage needed to take his title run to the next level if only he could have gotten a pin. Still really good, and really fun, and could have been even more if the WWF could have just stayed out of their own way. 9/9/92 - Taue vs. Kawada (AJPW) **** For a guy who wasn’t considered the ace of the company, Kawada is fucking over with the fans. The crowd reacts to him like very few people I’ve ever seen. He’s getting Austin level crowd reactions here, and has been getting nuclear reactions for at least a year. Taue takes over early and piledrives Kawada on a table. There are two women in the front row who are consoling each other, and I can’t tell for sure, but I think they’re crying for Kawada. There hasn’t been an American wrestler as over with the crowd in at least a decade. This match, like all of their matches, is hard hitting and hate filled, but this feels more like a wrestling match and less like a fight than some of the others. While this isn’t as balls to the wall exciting as some of their previous matches, Taue bringing the match down with headlocks and chokes from time to time builds a lot of sympathy with the crowd. Kawada is really starting to hit his stride with his selling here as well. He is my vote for best ever at selling the accumulation of punishment throughout a match. There are plenty of people who can sell an injury, or some limb work, but Kawada sells attrition like no one else. He takes two off Taue’s chokeslams, he kicks out of one and is too close to the ropes on the other, and counters a third. After his counter Kawada falls down like a man who just hit E on the gas tank and if Taue was somehow able to stand, Kawada wouldn’t be able to defend himself. From there the match goes into a frantic finishing stretch which leads to Kawada countering another chokeslam and hooking on the stretch plum for the submission win. This is a really good match and totally different than their previous matches. I think I liked this a little more than Meltzer and I’m going to bump this up to ****1/4. 10/21/92 - Misawa vs. Kawada (AJPW) ****1/2 I started high school in 1995 right when the internet started to become something that was readily available to everyone. I was also about as hardcore of a wrestling fan as I could be. I was aware of the existence of Japanese wrestling, but other than The Great Muta and Jushin Lyger, I hadn’t actually seen any. So as a huge wrestling fan who was obsessed with wrestling, I quickly discovered the internet wrestling community, and was immediately fascinated by the discussion of puroresu. I would read about all the great wrestling going on in Japan, and how guys like Eddy Guerrero and Chris Benoit had great matches in Japan before coming to the states. So a few years later I got a job and with my first paycheck ever I went to Highspots.com and ordered the Super J Cup 1994 and 1995(with a money order, because I didn't have a checking account let alone a credit card). With my next check I ordered the Best of Japan 1998 and The History of Misawa vs. Kawada. I had read about Misawa and Kawada and their crazy suplexes and I had to see it for myself. Of the four tapes I ordered, my least favorite was the Misawa vs. Kawada tape, I just couldn’t get into it for some reason. The Super J Cups were the easiest, because I was so familiar with most of the competitors. I had watched Benoit, Malenko, Lyger, and Guerrero in WCW, and even The Great Sasuke was in WWF for a match or two. The Best of Japan 1998 was fun, because it was basically every type of match from every promotion all on one tape. There were NJPW Jr. matches, a couple worked shoots, a Mr. Pogo deathmatch, a couple AJPW Heavyweight matches and a cool Hayabusa vs. Masato Tanaka match from FMW. The Misawa vs. Kawada tape didn’t hit me right away, I thought the matches were good, but I couldn’t really understand what made them so special. So time went by and I learned more and more about Japanese wrestling, and eventually I revisited the Misawa vs. Kawada series. By that time I had spent probably a year watching wrestling with a more critical eye, and Misawa vs. Kawada spoke to me like the burning bush spoke to Moses. Before these were just cool matches with hard strikes and cool suplexes, now they were so much more. Misawa was Superman, he was all about truth, justice, and the All Japan way. He was the invincible king of the promotion, but unlike Superman he had no kryptonite. Kawada was Batman, he was a superhero in his own right, but he didn’t have any superpowers. He was just a man, but he was crafty and tough as nails. Kawada was as good as a man could be, but Misawa was more than a man. The two of them started as friends, in order to rid the world of the previous King, and lead All Japan into a new direction. The issue starts here where after Jumbo Tsuruta was deposed, Misawa was named King. Misawa was the King in the sense that he wasn’t elected to rule, but he was ordained by God himself to rule over All Japan and lead them to the promised land. Kawada was a freedom fighter who shed just as much blood, dripped just as much sweat, and cried just as many tears as Misawa. He didn’t sign up to be ruled by Misawa, he wanted to rule himself. There were going to be people who didn’t believe in the way Kawada ruled, but he didn’t care. He was going to take the crown or he was going to die trying. This is the beginning of that story. The two men who rid the Kingdom of All Japan of the oppressive rule of Jumbo Tsuruta have a match to see who will assume the throne. Kawada’s takes Misawa to the absolute limit, but at the end of the day Misawa proves that he is King. Kawada is a bad assed mother fucker, who is more than a match for anyone on the planet. He’s fought tooth and nail to make it to the top, but his fight is not finished. He still has to take the throne, he still wants to wear that crown, but in order to be King he has to defeat Misawa. Misawa isn’t going to just give up the crown, he fought just as hard to make it to the top as Kawada. This is Kawada’s first shot at the crown, and Misawa put him down decisively. To quote Omar Little, “If you come at the King, you best not miss.” This is a fantastic match, this is an easy ****1/2 and I wouldn’t be mad if someone gave this the full *****. I know I didn't really talk about this match, but like the Jumbo vs. Misawa feud there are going to be a lot of these matches. I could just recap them all, but that will get tiresome for me. There are a couple of matches in this feud that will get the full breakdown, but this being such a huge part of my introduction to puroresu, I thought it was appropriate to explain why this particular feud means so much to me. This is the beginning of what may very well be the best wrestling feud of all time, and I’m looking forward to revisiting it.