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When I was about 20, my cousin 16 and my brother 12, WCW came to town for a Nitro (Note, this wasn't even good Nitro it was mid-Russo shitty shooty Nitro!), I had tickets but they didn't. About an hour before the show, my cousin broke down and decided to buy him and my brother tickets, right after buying them, a guy in a suit came out and asked if they were coming to the show tonight, they said yes and the man said "Here, compliments of Mr. Goldberg!" So, all night long, my brother and cousin are DIRECTLY behind the announce table, repeatedly on camera all night long, almost get trampled by the Harris Twins, have a piece of table go flying past their heads (If you ever watch an old Nitro, and see a guy point directly into the camera, then do the RVD point, that's my cousin!). So, later that night, about 1 am or so, my mom goes past the room where my cousin was staying and sees he's still up, she goes in and asks him "Can't sleep?" and my cousin replies "Auntie Liz, that was the greatest night of my life!" I was reminded of this, tonight, when I saw Cena grab that kid and hug him. I thought "My God, that kid just had the greatest moment of his life." And that is why, I may get bored with occasionally, I may get disgusted with it occasionally, but I will never completely not be a fan of pro wrestling.

When i head about this, I was torn. On the one hand I was like "Good on ya, WWE! Way to not be heartless!" and on the other hand I was like, "THE TEARS OF CHILDREN WATER THE GARDEN THAT IS KAYFABE~!" WHO DRIED MY TEARS WHEN MACHO MAN CRUSHED RICKY STEAMBOAT'S VOICE BOX~?! NO ONE, THAT'S WHO~!!!! I think it was awesome and thoughtful of HHH (who is a dad himself) to console the kid personally, but I think he missed an opportunity to reduce Cena's legit heat by having Cena himself go out there and talk to the boy and give him the old, "SUPERSTARS CANNOT DO HEROIC THINGS WITHOUT FAN SUPPORT~!" line. Cena going out into the crowd to celebrate the win with that kid fucking rocked.

Scott Hall is 95% of the way to being the character Jon Voight played in ANACONDA. And the remaining 5% is pretty much just "being on a boat."

I'm more pissed at that kid's parents than I am at HHH. You see what happens when you treat your children like delicate snowflakes? They become gigantic sissies who cry their eyes out over a babyface being put in a handicap match. If my dad ever saw me crying while watching wrestling, he would have told me to stop that pussy crying and made me turn it off. Actually, that never would have happened since I wasn't allowed to watch wrestling growing up. I guess what I'm trying to get at is that I hate my parents.

Funny how letting someone just run into a group of bad guys and start fighting them without fear has that effect. It's almost like an easy and obvious formula that should be un-fuckup-able.

Millenials!!! Apparently to Vince means "People in the thousands of years old." To anyone born after 1990, which supposedly is the demographic Vince says he wants to compete for, this show was like getting stuck at a memorial for one of your grampa's old Korean war buddies because your parents couldn't get a babysitter and there's a t.v. in his bedroom but it has rabbit ears and only picks up some weird 24-hour "Interviews with people that used to know Roy Acuff" network and they won't stop talking about Wabash Cannonball and YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS!!!!! IS IT A WEAPON??? A CARWASH??? A DRINK????? WHEN CAN I GO HOME????????

Everything about that screams "Stephanie posing with a wax statue of her father to provide a false time of death for his murder." And why is the spaceship from G-FORCE crashing into the parking lot behind them? That seems notable.

Darsow cannily hides the "BURGER" on his tights inside his boots

so, the following is stolen from r/sc/:

I don't get people acting like The Ascension being used this way is some type of disaster. They're shit. They were shit in NXT and they're shit now. They've been in NXT for-fucking-ever, Conor signed in 2005 FFS and it was very much now or never so WWE might as well put them on the big show and see what happens because they need tag teams. I don't get the indignation for this one they're garbage and should be treated accordingly until they prove they aren't. I don't think this has anything to do with whatever feud people are talking about between NXT and the main roster and has everything to do with the fact that, simply, The Ascension are fucking awful.

http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2015/1/19/7853205/bill-belichick-should-coach-college-football

I watched TNA's Turning Point. One of only a dozen people in the world, I imagine. In the main event, MVP made a little girl cry. She was standing up cheering for Jeff Hardy and while MVP was brawling with Hardy at ringside in front of her, he yelled at her and she sat down. Then he shook the guardrail and yelled at her some more (which I actually think was excessive) and she started crying and her father (I assume) was consoling her the rest of the match. Then Hardy started his comeback and she got back into it and cheered for him. Then Hardy won and gave her one of his arm hose on his way out and she probably left happy. I don't think it's a good sign when TNA follows the rules of pro wrestling better than the industry leader unless Trips whispered into that kid's ear to "Man up, pussy."

The best thing about the HHH pic is Jamie Noble looking on in disgust. Never break kayfabe boy.

This new Weekend at Bernie's looks kinda shitty.

Let's hope that kid never goes to a show with Chuck Taylor on the card.

Makes you wonder what Triple H said to him while consoling him. I'm not being snarky either, I'm really curious. Breaking kayfabe "Hey kid its OK, I don't really hate him, we're just having fun" Kinda staying in character and keeping the act up but admitting Cena is awesome "Hey kid, it's OK, he's so tough he'll probably win anyway." Does he drop the act altogether, does he encourage the kid that his hero can probably overcome the odds, etc? It's a weird situation to be in. "Hey, kid, it's okay, it's not real. John does whatever I tell him to do because I slept my way to the top of this business. See. It's all fine. You know how your dad has a boss and your dad likes his boss. They're friends, right, because your dad's boss is the one that keeps you from not having food! See! We're all working together in this to make my father-in-law richer so that when he dies I'll be able to sell this place and start a protein shake company. What? Hey what's wrong??? JOHN GET OVER HERE!!! I don't know, the kid won't listen to reason."

Here's the picture from Twitter: "Hail Hydra"

After further review, Mike Carey says he's just resting his eyes.

I certainly hope you were. One person on this board trying desperately to find accidental and obviously unintentional racism in anything is enough.

Yeah. Their chemistry is essentially the same chemistry that a bear has with a honey-covered chew toy dipped in blood.

Off screen, kevin sullivan prepares to throw ink in someone's face

The Windham/Rotundo family:

How in the hell did Marc Mero become a "famous" inspirational speaker? Who in the hell wants to take life advice from MARC MERO? Counterpoints: 1) he made more money than I'll ever see in my life 2) he got to smash Sable for a bunch of years 3) he's as pretty as a picture 4) he looks just like Little Richard I'll listen to pretty much anything that dude has to say

I always liked Mike Awesome in WCW. I thought he was criminally miscast. Even in WWE, I thought he could've been better than he was. I wonder why he didn't get more play in either promotion...

We're moments away from finding out who drew #30 in the 2015 Royal Rumble match. Amber Lance? It's King! It's Dean Ambrose! The Lunatic Fringe is the final entrant in the 2015 Royal Rumble match! He must be cold. He's wearing a turtleneck, Maggle. Ambrose immediately helping out his "brother" Roman Reigns with low blows to both Kane and Big Show. Why would he do that? Why doesn't he help Kane and Big Show eliminate Reigns. Man, they brothers, dawg. It's every man for himself. Like you wouldn't throw Stevie Ray out to get a World Title shot. Well, maybe. He would definitely throw you out. Hey, man. Look at this match up, dawg. These two wild men about to hook 'em up. Ambrose looks more like Buck's kid than Swagger does. Wait a minute! Wut da hail! A bunch of bums just hit the ring. Those are hobos, Maggle. An army of them. They're attacking Ambrose and there's a bag lady wino by our desk screaming... What's she saying? Who's the master now? What's she talking about? I know what she's talking about, dawg. And now Bray Wyatt's in the ring. Where'd he come from? Sister Abigail on Ambrose. Ambrose has been left absolutely devastated by this attack by this...hobo army. Kane and Show were holding Reigns back the whole time and now Bunkhouse Buck is back in the ring. The Colonel had Meng pull him under the bottom rope when the hobos attacked. And Bunkhouse Buck easily eliminates Dean Ambrose and we're down to the final four of Bunkhouse Buck, The Big Show, Corporate Kane and Roman Reigns. Kane's got Bunkhouse goozled. And Big Show with the WMD on Kane. Wut da hail! And Show tosses Kane over the top rope. Awww my goodness! Look at the Colonel waving that money around. Big Show sold out again, man. SUPERMAN PUNCH! Reigns just rocked Show with a giant-sized Superman Punch out of nowhere! Reigns has the giant teetering on the ropes. Another Superman punch, dawg! Big Show has been eliminated! And with that elimination Reigns has surpassed the elimination record he set at last year's Royal Rumble match. This is it, Maggle. One of these two men, either Bunkhouse Buck or Roman Reings will go on to the main event of WrestleMania to challenge Brock Lesnar for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. One of these two men are going on to the biggest stage of them all, the showcase of the immortals, the main event of WrestleMania where all the lights are turned on bright. Awww here we go, dawg!

When I read about the Triple H thing I thought it was Daddy Triple H kicking in, like it was one of his kids crying. EDIT: I also thought it was incredibly sweet. Triple H is awesome.

If the Ascension is done, I think Konnor just needs a new hairstyle to make a fine fake Mongolian. Wrestling is sorely missing white guys with silly haircuts claiming to be Mongolian.

I can't be the only one who heard "wait just a cotton pickin minute" and cringed. It's 2015. It also happens to be MLK day today.

2002 WWE would have fucked it up like they did with every WCW guy.

As soon as Flair started talking about fucking all night in Dallas, I was looking to see if there was a sniper laser anywhere on him and wondering if Jim Ross was somewhere screaming "TAKE THE SHOT!!!!" TAKE THE SHOTQQQQQQ"

I for one am glad that the gratuitous butt shots are back on the recap, because, you know, Paige.

Why is Cena carrying a child's severed head around in that?

Strange guy.

So, Scott Steiner has some new ink. Also, he apparently forgot to shake.

Que Monito is basically Snarf already.

The Ascension thing doesn't really bother me. I mean, they were pretty bad in NXT and only managed to get over, at all, when the crowd figured out that Konnor yells "Yah!" every time he throws a kick or punch and started to chant "Yah" along with it. That said (And if this came up earlier, I apologize, but I don't wanna wade through 7 pages of anger), I think it would have been pretty awesome (And more in keeping with the heel commentator being a heel!) if JBL took off his shirt to reveal the APA logo, Faarooq comes down (C'mon, Ron Simmons was never in the APA! Faarooq was!), they got into the ring, then JBL said "Unfortunately, even though I disagree with what they're saying, the Ascension did hire us!" and proceeded to take out the Outlaws and run off NWOAARP. That would actually put Ascension over as guys with half a brain. Also, I would get Sid to manage them and do all their talking for them.

Yeah, just when you think it is safe to have irrational dislike for a man you've never met, he goes and does something that fucking rules.

Makes you wonder what Triple H said to him while consoling him. I'm not being snarky either, I'm really curious. Breaking kayfabe "Hey kid its OK, I don't really hate him, we're just having fun" Kinda staying in character and keeping the act up but admitting Cena is awesome "Hey kid, it's OK, he's so tough he'll probably win anyway." Does he drop the act altogether, does he encourage the kid that his hero can probably overcome the odds, etc? It's a weird situation to be in.

I'd forgotten they erected a giant Hogan head on Mt. Rushmore. It's been at least 10 years since Beefcake piloted the giant head into space to fight off the Venusian invasion. We're not Venusian slaves, so I guess he was successful.

That finish was the way to go. Bray looked like a friggin' destroyer in that match but still needed Kane's help. And now Bryan wants to get his just deserts on Smackdown. Not everything should have a clean finish. Sometimes a finish like this does something for everyone -- and this is a good example of that. Also, I thought the announcers did a good job tonight mentioning previous feuds and alliances. Booker mentioned Bryan and Bray's story from last year. And he also talked about Wade's leadership abilities and the Nexus. Use the universe that you created.

The most depressing thing about that is the fact that TNA has been around for 14 years.

Harley would punch him for doing that.

They will. A Tag Title run in TNA next year. The funny thing is Viktor and Connor sound like TNA names. What will they be called? The Risers? The Assumption. Let's stick to Holy Days.

HEAD! HEAD! HEAD! HEAD! HEAD! HEAD!

It's karma for Ben not really beating Frankie or Gil.

I'm not sure if the double-post was intentional or not. Either way, given the context, bravo sir.