ChesterCopperpot Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Green Meanie Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 (edited) Is anyone here familiar with the Uncle John's Bathroom Reader series? I've been a fan of them for quite a while, and came across a chapter about wrestling I just had to share due to it's hilarious inaccuracy. The chapter is entitled "Weird Wrestlers". It lists 17 characters and they only got five and a half correct. First, the wrong ones: "El Gigante - A failed NBA basketball player, El Gigante was a lanky 7'7 and not muscular enough to wrestle. Solution: He wore a rubber suit covered with fake hair and painted muscles. The Genius - Coming to the ring wearing a graduation cap and gown, the Genius appeared to be highly intelligent, speaking in a haughty accent and peppering his sentences with big words....and then he beat people up. Isaac Yankem, DDS - An evil dentist, dressed in white smock and face mask, who threatens to remove his opponents' teeth. Irwin R. Scheister - Somebody everybody could fear: an IRS agent. He wore glasses, a shirt, and a skinny tie, and hit people with his briefcase. As sportswritter Mike Stokes put it, the tax collector came across as "a cranky math teacher." The Poet(?!) - He read poetry at the beginning of fights...and then he beat people up. Roadblock - He looked like a road. He had a yellow "dead end" sign painted on his stomach, hit opponents with a barricade, and dressed in a black bodysuit (to look like pavement). Goldust - He wore a sparkly robe and a long blond wig and intimidated opponents by licking their faces. His skin was spray-painted gold and he'd stop matches to cry about how his father didn't love him enough. Brother Love - A stereotypical Southern evangelist who preached "the word of love"....and then beat people up. Sexual Chocolate - A deep-voiced, smooth-talking ladies' man, like 1970s soul singer Barry White. The character was based on South Park's Chef - a parody of deep-voiced, smooth-talking 1970s soul singers. The Booty Man - On his way to the ring, he dropped his pants and shook his bare buttocks. (He was actually wearing a flesh-colored prosthesis.) Amish Roadkill - Inspired by the 1996 Amish-themed movie Kingpin, Amish Roadkill wore plain black Amish clothing, a black hat, and a long beard. He usually lost matches, because the Amish don't believe in fighting." The characters they got (fully) correct were The Gobbledy Gooker, Doink, The Juicer, Red Rooster, and Akeem. Sgt. Slaughter was half-correct. Edited October 20, 2020 by The Green Meanie 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curt McGirt Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 I wonder what it's like to drink with Orton. Either he's like he is on Twitter, kind of a generally obnoxious but still fun and totally un-PC friend, or someone that hits on random women and starts fights. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sublime Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 He's probably the former these days but 10 years ago very likely the latter, he has matured in some ways and it seems like he's settled into his comfortable life and his upper class bully-jerk-jock younger days seem to be behind him. I don't watch WWE but Orton's twitter is pretty solidly entertaining these days when I check it out. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raziel Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 I dunno. Outside of "...then they beat people up", Genus and Brother Love were pretty on point. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NikoBaltimore Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 I used to have some of those Uncle John's books at my mom's house. They were amusing enough but I don't remember a wrestling section. Must have been in a different book. But it doesn't surprise me that they would get all that wrong. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragonzombie Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 Seems Raw Underground is finished. And Cinematic matches too probably. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Technico Support Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 7 minutes ago, D.Z said: Seems Raw Underground is finished. And Cinematic matches too probably. Apparently Revolution or Redemption or whatever their antifa stand-in group was called is pretty much done, too -- treated like jobbers last night. This is what happens when your booker is an elderly dude with a history of coke and steroid use who has the attention span of a goldfish. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curt McGirt Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 Since it's October they should come out as Repulsion with everyone dressed like the Zombie and get their asses kicked again. Ali is shown in the back watching on the monitor, letting it happen. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valcourt Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 2 hours ago, ChesterCopperpot said: I have no idea why, but Randy Orton has always come across to me as a guy who doesn't watch wrestling. Does that make sense to anyone else? He's a pro for sure, but him watching Pete Dunne blows me away. Tito's night or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nate Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 21 hours ago, Dolfan in NYC said: Yikes. People with borderline personality disorder would like to extend a hearty thanks for the validation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Custos Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 On 10/20/2020 at 6:43 AM, Smelly McUgly said: Speaking of, I would like to see Victoria Coren Mitchell cut a promo on someone at a wrestling show. She would have totally got Dean Douglas over as his mouthpiece. Not quite the same thing, but I know she’s a competitive poker player so presumably she has some televised trash talking somewhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AxB Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 So, Jake Hager's never going back to WWE: I mean, he probably neither wanted to go back, nor would have been wanted back by them anyway. But it's always nice to see someone burning their bridge. 9 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John from Cincinnati Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 (edited) Didn't have Hager @ing Andrew Yang while passively admitting he knows COVID is real on my bingo card. Edited October 20, 2020 by Andy in Kansas 5 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
odessasteps Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 30 minutes ago, Custos said: Not quite the same thing, but I know she’s a competitive poker player so presumably she has some televised trash talking somewhere. Cast her as Jeannie Clark in an Austin tribute act or bio. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirSmUgly Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 (edited) 40 minutes ago, Custos said: Not quite the same thing, but I know she’s a competitive poker player so presumably she has some televised trash talking somewhere. I've seen her play, and she's actually just often surprisingly honest about what she's holding in her hand and isn't particularly trash-talky. She's just smarter than everyone else at the table, I gather. Edited October 20, 2020 by Smelly McUgly 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragonzombie Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 WWE named corporation of the year, well the year of 2019. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
odessasteps Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 1 hour ago, Smelly McUgly said: I've seen her play, and she's actually just often surprisingly honest about what she's holding in her hand and isn't particularly trash-talky. She's just smarter than everyone else at the table, I gather. She is also very wise to know she is likely underestimated because she is an attractive woman. Not that she plays dumb blonde or anything, but prob knew early on it was an subconscious advantage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curt McGirt Posted October 21, 2020 Share Posted October 21, 2020 1 hour ago, D.Z said: WWE named corporation of the year, well the year of 2019. By who? The Administration? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Natural Posted October 21, 2020 Author Share Posted October 21, 2020 5 hours ago, Curt McGirt said: By who? The Administration? Beat me to it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Natural Posted October 21, 2020 Author Share Posted October 21, 2020 Bonus: WALTER's on the Mount Rushmore of Chops with Kenta Kobashi, Ric Flair and Roderick Strong. Honourable mention to Eddie Kingston. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan Posted October 21, 2020 Share Posted October 21, 2020 They...geo blocked the first video. Probably for anyone outside the UK, nice work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Technico Support Posted October 21, 2020 Share Posted October 21, 2020 (edited) 13 hours ago, D.Z said: WWE named corporation of the year, well the year of 2019. 12 hours ago, Curt McGirt said: By who? The Administration? Nah. The administration couldn't stop itself at "corporation of the year." It would be "Best, beautiful, smartest, most bigly corporation of the year." Edited October 21, 2020 by Technico Support 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spontaneous Posted October 21, 2020 Share Posted October 21, 2020 It was actually an early Slammy award. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoneWolf&Subs Posted October 21, 2020 Share Posted October 21, 2020 Winning Slammy’s doesn’t guarantee riches. Look at WWF Mania. Won the very first Slammy for Best Show, and it barely lasted afterward. Especially in its format at the time. It took Sunny, and a blanket on the Todd side of the screen to get me to watch that junk. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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