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This thread is like having spiders hatch out of your dickhole. Just when you hope the excrutiating ordeal is over ... nope. More dickhead spiders.

I'm glad they changed his name to Big E...Marcus Cor Von was a stupid name.

#fuckmoney and fuck Virgil

Our buddies at Lucha Underground are getting a ton of press in advance of tonight's season two premiere. Sportcenter last night, Forbes this morning, and Rolling Stone just dropped an interview with Pentagon Junior. Good times.

These pervy butt-shots need to end

I don't think Kalisto sucks, but I do think Neville would be better in that role. Neville had a 6 month run near the end of his NXT stint where he was as good as anybody in the company.

I believe Bo Dallas wets himself down so much before matches to hide his genetic hyperhidrosis inherited from his father, the world's most sweatiest man, Irwin R. Shyster.

We are making this a family affair tonight, I'll be watching with my wife and my daughter, who has made her own lucha mask for the occasion. Naturally we have an appropriate snack for the occasion - Nachos Underground.

Do we get large-print versions of the Drivers now?

I concur

TELL DA TROOT

Oh shit sorry guys I thought I was in the gif thread

We lost him 13 years ago today.

Vince Russo is actually making more sense on his podcast than WWE's booking, which is really scary. Like, I saw where he was talking about Kevin Owens and figured it would be a typical "Russo hates indie darlings" rant, but his idea for pushing Owens made more sense than what WWE has done so far. Here is the thing though. All those fuckers, Russo, Hall, Nash, Bischoff, Hogan, Fererra. They all talk a great game and if you listen to interviews with all of them from about 1998 on they make sense and they sound reasonable. The problem is the chasm between talking and doing is a NASA project.

Linda can comeback without me bitching if she's still using that sweet Michael Jackson knock off WM X theme.

Dave Meltzer, on why Lana has heat backstage, unleashed perhaps the most Meltzerian phrase ever uttered in the history of our sport:

You can't have the entire roster on a stable.

Uncle Kracker.

Not here, but I've seen people who were complaining about AJ "not being allowed" to use the Clash at the Rumble or RAW now complaining that they "wasted the debut" against Axel. Like, I get WWE has burned people so many times and all... but at this point it seems like it doesn't even matter what they do, people will find an angle to turn it into some kind of negative.

A big surprise return at the Main Event tapings:

I think that's also just the way that everything is today. Nothing in main stream media, old or new, really takes chances. Everything is safe. Even something like Netflix, which is more free than anything to really try new stuff, uses analytics to make their shows check off the boxes their data tells them. That's just the way things work today. Certainly not a WWE exclusive issue. Everything is so planned out and focus grouped. No network is going to take the chance on spending a bunch of money for a David Lynch type to make something like Twin Peaks in this era. And now, no one will give him money to make anything BUT Twin Peaks, because internet data has shown how popular it is on various streaming platforms. It's a strange time.

I suck at math you guys

This ties into what the WWE's biggest problem right now is. Whenever a true boom period started, it comes from someone who was doing their own thing and it caught fire, to the point it made people excited for them- then when lightning struck, the company captured it and rode it out for as long as it could go. By contrast now, the WWE wants to have a boom period to be popular in the mainstream again...but they want it ON WWE'S TERMS. If someone is catching fire that isn't a chosen one that WWE decided they want to catch fire, they'll do nothing with them and let it fail just because they'd rather fail with "their" guys then succeed with something they didn't plan on.

"This man does things he's not proud of."

Isn't the problem that WWE has no idea what to do when something gets over organically? Like when a Ryder or Sandow gets over, the knock against them might be that they're not great in the ring, or perhaps their characters or one-dimensional. And even if this is true, they are over at a time when no one is over. You don't have to put them in the main event. You don't even need to put them in the US title picture. But it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to try to make use of them in some way. I even look at something like the New Day and feel like WWE knows they have something but are utterly clueless how to make money off of them. It's almost like they can't get past the fact that they envisioned them as tag-team and made them heels. Thus, your hottest act in the company is stuck in a division no one cares about giving face style promos.

Yeah, but it's *your* problem. It's not like I think it's a good name, but it's preventing *you* from taking him seriously. "Triple H" isn't a good name either, but nobody really pays any attention to that because he's protected. Dolph hasn't been protected. And holy hell, a Russo-esque gimmick shirking promo from Dolph would be eight different kinds of cringeworthy.

You need to hear Jerichos side about Ralphus banging tons of women and getting a big head backstage

It's like, how much more fonts could this be? And the answer is, like, none. None more fonts.

I knew that two weeks from now.

Quality.

Owens needs to make a pit stop back in nxt and beat the shit out of Alex Riley some more.

If you are not entertained by Lucha Underground it means that Mil Muertes has taken your soul and fed it to the chipmunks. That may have been the best hour of wrestling in North America in the last decade.

HHH just buried HHH.

50 times more interested in Takeover then Mania

OH FUCK YOU GUYS EDIT: OH GOD THIS CARD PANTS ARE COMING OFF

I wanna go to Dallas, but not for Wrestlemania.

I will offer up three options: Fugazi (first five albums), The Fall (Perverted by Language through Bend Sinister) or Prince (1999 through Sign O the Times).

As you sow, shall you reap.

DOLPH ZIGGLER IS SHOOTING! Pass.

It's partly the perception of being held down, but it's also the fact that WWE doesn't always maximize the potential of their midcarders like they have in decades past. There were a lot of crappy things about the attitude era, but at least the midcard had shit going on. I was at a smackdown taping once where they accidentally played DLo Brown's music for a local guy having a dark match who had the same last name, and as Pat Patterson would say, the place went banana. I can't see that happening in 10 years with today's midcarders.

Does anyone connected to the NBA -- player or fan alike -- give any shred of respect to the Clippers? They're a total clown school. It's a shame because Blake was so friggin' awesome to watch his rookie year when he was just dunking on dudes non-stop. Blake's a great player and still does that stuff, but man alive is he a doofus. It's been a while since the NBA has had a player as brilliant and hatable as CP3. Doc's the worst, too. Their most likable player might be JJ Reddick. Think about that for a second. Wow, what a collection of people I hate. I also love how Golden State just straight-up chumped them in pre-season trash talk. I loved Klay's line about how they wanted them in the playoffs but they couldn't handle their business. And then they played, with Golden State just ripping their friggin' heart out with that crazy comeback. I'd rather get ripped by 30 like the Cavs or Spurs. With that, you just tip your cap and admit you got jumped and go about your business. But giving up a 10-point lead with five to go? That's when you just get laughed at and dismissed.

Terry Funk and a guy v. Hector Guerrerro and a guy Reviewed it at SC here

On an unrelated note or maybe it is related note, I think I've decided that my least favourite wrestler in wrestling right now is Michael Elgin. Everything about his matches builds him up, while making his opponents look like chumps. Take his 3-way with Moose and Jay Briscoe this past week on ROH TV. He does a spot where he lifts Jay Briscoe up for a suplex then Moose comes in and kicks him, turns his back, and Elgin dead-lifts Briscoe back up. It's an impressive display of strength but it makes both opponents look terrible. First Moose has to kick him gingerly so as to not upset the balance and have him drop Briscoe, then turn his back like an idiot, then do the whole spot over again to make Elgin look evern stronger, while Briscoe has to just hang there in mid-air and not struggle. Every spot in Elgin's matches are built to showing how strong and how much fighting spirit he has. Then, after Briscoe gets the win, Elgin (playing a face again) says to Briscoe that he's unhappy because his brother (Who wasn't even involved in the match, merely doing commentary) tilted the match in his favour so he's challenging him to a match. To me, he has no value as a wrestler, except in elevating himself. If you beat him, it's usually because Elgin was outnumbered/cheated. All of his spots are about making him look strong and tough, while his opponent gets the odd hope spot in, as a fan, you're basically just sitting there waiting for Elgin to retake the advantage over and over. He barely sells, and when he does lose, he kinda no-sells it. I'd much rather have 10 Dolph Zigglers on my roster, who may have weak-looking offence, but will make the guys beating him look like they are murdering him (Luke Harper has never been more over than he was wailing on Ziggler for the IC Title), than a guy who only gets himself over in his matches.

Shit, I totally forgot about RE0. I need to drop $20 next week.

Enjoy the fuck out of this. I genuinely believe the DVDVR Panthers contingent are some of the best fans on this board and I couldn't be happier for you guys.