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This woman is the best.

So I was watching some old TNA stuff from right after Hogan and Bischoff came in, and it occurred to me that Hulk Hogan is basically Gizmo from the Gremlins movie. Sure, he's nice at first and you think he'll be great to have around, but inevitably, you hire him after midnight, and he becomes an evil, wrinkled troll of sorts. Next thing you know, he's tearing up stuff and wrecking your business. Then he gets into the CEO's office and things really go sideways. After that, it's like he reproduced cause not only do you got Hulk Hogan wrecking your promotion, but you got all his creepy sidekicks wrecking things and flinging cocaine at the walls. Hulk Hogan. Don't feed his ego after midnight, kids. Very important.

You guys are dicks, that piranesi quote is totally taken out of context

not to go en090's way, but slap a TNA logo on this and you'd get eight replies like "that place is deserted, they are definitely on their death bed" They got 22,000 paid with rain and unseasonably cold weather that killed their walk-ups. If TNA ever drew a crowd half that big we'd never hear the end of it from their white knights.

Like George Costanza, he's doing anything he can to get himself fired. Maybe his next attempt will be dragging the Buddy Rogers WWWF title around Titan Towers parking lot.

For $1000 I expect my headphones to do no less than project a life size hologram of the band I'm listening to.

I didn't know Piranesi had a Tumblr page.

Also if you add water the Nasty Boys and Bubba the Love Sponge shows up.

Maybe she's smart enough to realize what a scam Komen is.

Your choice Cena/Orton or the equivalent amount of time in Chrisssley commercials.

Yeah, The Authority pretty much undermining the concept of wrestling promo's is really cringe worthy sometimes.

Dermott Mulrooney?

NOW FERGIE DIS A BAD NAY-BAHOOD BABY. WHEN WE PAHK WE GONNA PUT ON DA CLUB. The what? DA CLUB! DA CLUB BABY. WE GON BE CLUBBERIN' IF YOU WEEEEEEL.

How the hell is he supposed to see with that mask over his eyes?

Well, shit, season three episodes one ends with a hell of a gut punch.

You fucking would.

Or B. Mahoney as PWI used to call him.

Looks like Koslov's been watching Chuck Taylor tapes.

Maybe Brie Bella will get into Brie Mode, whatever that means. Why would she want to get shit-faced during a match? It's her and Nikki in a cell. Who WON'T want to get shitfaced during that match?

And they haven't had an update in days. Any chance these guys are just sleazy indy wrestling promoters? "Hey guys we got a call and all of our Mothers are in the hospital, we will be back later tonight to make sure we fix all of the connection errors with the server then okay?"

Stone Cold E.T. says we'll run off the whole damn room while eating a couple of cheeseburgers from White Castle, and if you like that, gimme a "hell, yeah." RUkered and I proved that the Two Horsemen can deliver some havoc, running everyone off in a full room on a Sunday afternoon. We got killed a bunch, but we also did our share of killing, too. One guy kept grabbing a friggin' tank, even though he was pretty good on the ground when out of the tank - he was doing some severe damage. He did, though, kill himself every time we were closing in on him. I JUST realized why people kill themselves in those situations: to protect their precious K/D ratio. How sad. Anyhoo, he'd squiggle free, go grab a tank. We'd blow it up, he'd squiggle free, go grab a tank. By his third tank, we both said "let him chase us," and we headed WAY up north to screw with another dot. He was about as far South as you could get, and he probably would've had to driven the tank 20 minutes to get to us. Sure enough, that worked, as he blew up fairly quickly and quit. It was one of those days - someone would get the advantage on us, and as soon as it looked like we were getting ready to turn things around, they'd leave. Still, it was loser-leave-town, and we won. Oh yeah, went on a Robert-would-be-proud Zentorno blowing-up spree late in the day. Must've blown up one dude's Zentorno three times. I never think to sticky bomb them, though. Glad I'm the Donald Trump of Los Santos - blowing up Zentornos could get expensive.

Remind me to never listen to that show

Please tell me this led to them singing Hulk Hogan's cover of Leader Of The Gang?

I've been critical of this show for a while but I loved the hell out of the premiere.

Derbil McDillet.

ESPN: Arizona kicker Casey Skowronmisses 3 FGs in 2-point loss to USC ESPN: Lions GM Martin Mayhew: Skowron "now #1 on our draft board"

@TitusONeilWWE: "@NatbyNature do you cook? If not let's add that to the list with marriage counseling

Finally out of the parking lot. Packers/Dolphins was INSANE. I am so badly burned and have no voice.

"Losers whine about doing their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."

somewhere chuck taylor is crying. he doesn't know why.

Gaylord looks like Mike Awesome's younger, lamer brother, Mark Awful.

Cornette's a perfect example of the Raylan Givens quote from Justified: "You run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. You run into assholes all day? You're the asshole."

The singles and other tracks off Maladroit are forever underrated. Last album from them I enjoyed, but I guess I'll check the new one out to see what all the fuss is. This seems like as good a time as any to post my favorite cover of all time:

Dory & Terry Funk

But Daniel Bryan isn't mentioned there at all.

I've never heard more joy in someone's voice than when Stout got to blow up one of those Zentornos. There were two guys in a clothing store, so we swarmed down to wait on them. Stout blows up a Zentorno. I round the corner and say, "Weird, it's not showing as blown up on my screen." Stout says "No, it's definitely blown up over here." I said, "Well, there's a dark colored one over here." "Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally?" BOOOOOM Then the poor bastards come out of the store and I mowed them down with the minigun the second the door opened. Oh yeah - forgot to mention that I was using my female character who is a level 40-something. How did I have a minigun, do you ask? SOMEBODY FINALLY GOT A G-DAMN SPECIAL CRATE. Ended up getting two of them, actually. To back up a minute, when I got on, Stout had his other crew tag up, so I figured he was racing and I didn't want to bother him. I spawned into a public room by myself and realized I was in a house all the way up north. No idea when I bought a second place with the girl character (must have been on a 2 beer evening). I drove to Trevor's so I could get something to fly to the city. The only thing there was a cargobob, so I got it. About halfway down to the city, I see a guy with a bounty, so I landed and got in a sniping war with the guy. I killed him, and just for good measure, I picked up his Sandking with the Cargobob and dropped the sumbitch upside down in a river. Unfortunately, it wasn't a personal vehicle. The guy shot the cargobob all to shit as I was escaping, so I flew to Zancudo and picked up a jet. I was on my way back when I noticed Stout had snuck into the session at some point. I flew back just in time to watch him put some boots up white dot ass. We then alternated between beating the crap out of people and bemoaning the fact that we'll never be as good as Robert and Melraz.

gave me the warm fuzzies how good a reception Teddy Long got...

Deeply ironic that the NFL players are defending their right to "beats"

Oh lord, they're remaking The Trial of theIncredible Hulk

I have a theory that some wrestlers become popular because they are acting naturally, which is to say that what they are doing as workers working a gimmick is what comes naturally to them. "Your gimmick should be a part of you magnified" is a not just a tired trope, but a truism in most situations. I think that audiences really like to see people being themselves, coolness or propriety or social conventions or even morality be damned. This realness can be just a part of what makes a wrestler over. Example: Ric Flair - it wasn't merely his ring skills (work and moves), winningness or cool factor that got him over but the fact that you were seeing (part of? like a hologram, each part contains the whole) who he really was, unabashed unashamed unapologetic. It would have been harder to suppress this naturalness, and thereby be even falser, but most people feel that life makes them do that every day. To see a human unfettered and able to really "be themselves" loudly exuberantly and even getting paid for it, makes us happy vicariously. Another example, even moreso: Jimmy "Boogie Woogie Man" Valiant. He had even less of the other factors of RF, but had the naturalness I am talking about as well as the charisma, and also the common man underdog thang going on (mercy!). Even a heel gets over by this, like Capt. Lou Albano. It's not just the extroverted outsiders - even calmer workers get accolades for "being themselves" even if it is exaggerated for the big stage: John Cena, Dory Funk Jr., Billy Robinson. Part it is our striving for "realness" and authenticity in out pop culture and heroes, a fool's quest to be sure. Wrestling is a perfect venue for to showcase these folks. How great was it when you saw The Rock emerge from under the restraints of unnatural gimmicks to let his own personality take over? Eventually that became a performance as well, but that's another pontification. Anyway, Enzo & Cass have that "damn the torpedoes this is who I am" vibe. It comes from a performer who is doing it for themselves but is presenting it to you. Zayn has this as well. Now there is nothing wrong with a good "artificial" gimmick, like The Vaudevillians (dig them), and that is a difficult skill in itself. Demolition were great and well remembered, but the difference between them and The Road Warriors includes this pet theory. Some people don't care for this Naturalness, they just want to see extraordinary moves or spots or matches, or have other priorities. For me, when I see someone and I say "man, this guy couldn't have been anything BUT a wrestler" it blows my mind. These ultrapersonalities disrupt the Natural Order - they often have to be booked around, not for or with. More examples: Dusty Rhodes, Abdullah The Butcher, Super Porky, Jerry Lawler, Dick Murdoch, Jim Duggan, Killer Karl Kox, Bad News Barrett. Negative examples (but still over like rover): Randy Orton, Junkyard Dog, Raven, Hulk Hogan. They seem always never really inhabited their gimmick or it was secondary to their charisma. Did you ever see someone with an accessory that's too "big" for them? When the hat/tattoo/jewelry is wearing the person and not the other way around? Sometimes (Raven) the skill of acting the gimmick brings so much attention to the acting part rather than the gimmick part. Think about how sometimes great actors merely bring praise and attention to their acting skills rather than to the roles they are playing. i like rasslin, RAF

wut Isn't that a Macho Man promo?Of course I just re-read in a Macho voice in my head. . .Dammit your right. . . . Wimp. I re-read it in a Macho Man voice ALOUD.

Oh, come on! How are we supposed to believe Jerry Angelo ever did ANYTHING to give the Bears any competitive advantages? I kid, Bears fans. I kid.

I miss Velocity just for the sheer randomness

That picture is awesome. He has the dog under his power, willing to do his bidding.