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thee Reverend Axl Future

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  1. I worked for a young IN promoter who wanted his son to be named Hogan but his far-seeing all-knowing wife forced it to a middle name. My own daughter's middle name is Fabulous Moolah.
  2. I want to talk about mummies some more. I love mummies, especially rasslin' mummies.
  3. From a few pages ago: I do think this a great time to be a pro wrestling fan because of the easy access to live shows from almost anywhere in the US (others nations seem equally abundant) and the truly miraculous ability to see federations from anywhere else on TV & the interWeb, as well as so much historical, classic, vintage and childhood product just there for the watching. However, in this Rev's opinion, the percentage of great matches, standout cards, memorable feuds and great gimmicks is very very low. The moves, spots, production, aerial and mat work are so sophisticated and amazing but most folks know very little about psychology and story-telling (and most promoters know how to make dream matches but not compelling long term booking) and part of the reason for that is the fan origin of the workers*. Yes, ringwork needs to evolve, but this post-modern self referential undercurrent keeps rassling from hitting the memory making artistry that was there in the past. And now, back to surmising what happened backstage in the WWE... *Other reasons - lack of territories, death of kay fabe, no replacement for heel/face structure (all of which were inevitable), WWE's overexposure and shitty booking, spoiled fans, and more. Don't get me started.
  4. The physique difference between "Axe Jr," AWA Curt Hennig and WWF's Mr. Perfect is quite pronounced, so I don't know if he would have been pushable during the trial. That HGH Neanderthal brow --- yow....
  5. Any day now we will have that CSI Miami/Bladerunner "enhance, enhance, enhance" photo tech so I can find my own greasy face amongst that crowd. Not shown: Iron Sheik getting beaned by 1/3 a roll of SweeTarts hurled with incredible accuracy from on high, and the surly MSG security guards (note: mostly off duty cops) dragging out overly patriotic fans who hopped the rail post-victory.
  6. Nevertheless, we must all pay homage to CJStrongbow for the singular fact that when Roddy Piper was planning to do his Pit with Superfly Jimmy Snuka, Strongbow tried to talk Piper into using an assortment of tropical fruits as a gimmick, and when Piper failed to see the genius of this, out Italian-FirstNation Hero went out to the bodega and got a bag of produce to use and forced it on the Scots-Canadian rulebreaker because he believed in this idea so much. He was right: Piper never paid him back but the event went on to make Television History*. *See the book "The History of Television, According to thee Reverend Axl Future", as of yet unpublished.
  7. That is some text book AJPW stiff clobbering, with non-sequitur bleeding by AT. If it was music, it would be Rachmaninoff or Queen or Dave Brubeck - a classic choice for everyone, that can inspire new appreciation with careful attention. Also, speaking of cool jazz worth a listen, whilst watching this the YouTube algorithm recommended me a video titled "How Barney Miller's Gay Couple Defeated the Network Censors" so Ima give that a watch.
  8. Mr. Dave McLane is a wrestling survivor. Screw Eric Bischoff, this is the man from whom we should be gleaning promotional advice - except that he is too smart to open his mouth. He's made money from every venture, just not necessarily from the wrestling end. Money marks? That's for the small fry...
  9. I attended that card, and it was great fun. First off, I was shocked that it was not sold out - I strolled up with tix a half hour early and there wasn't anyone outside as compared the Battleground show two weeks before, which was PACKED w/a 90 minute wait to enter. Philly loves it's randomly booked ECW nostalgia shows, I tell you what. Alex Kane was impressive and good on the mic. King Mo as his manager works to get him over as a heel, but Mr. Mo needs to learn how to work a live mic. TJP is so effective as a super-skilled heel who forces you to hate him. Tom Lawlor can't get a win - surely this is leading somewhere? The jean trunks are brilliant. The card lasted 5 hours and clicked right along. Taping the YouTube show and then the VICE stuff created some temporal dissonance but was a breeze if you ever survived one of those 80s WWF syndicated TV tapings. 5150 vs. Los Parks trio match was stiff and thrilling (like me). LA Park still being a top notch worker despite his age and size surprises me every time but it shouldn't, as the man is a Wrestling Golden Treasure. No color or in crowd brawling (2300 Arena dictates), controlled chaos constantly. Holidead works so stiff with those kicks, I could see that Nicole Savoy injury. Ribs? Chest? Sternum? Heart? She was crying but not paralyzed, stretchered out and sent to the hospital. Kills the crowd in the way that a real injury will. Holidead has a good look and works the gimmick but still kinda generic for me. Tajiri/Aramis/Arez/Reed four-way for the lightweight title was f'n off the hook with so much stuff I have never seen before and just the right amount of sloppiness so it wasn't some over-rehearsed move fest. Truly insprational and a must see. I was shocked that Tajiri (clearly the crowd favorite) won - does he live in the US? His look has softened, with fluffy hair and rounder face but he still can do the "dangerous menace" thing. MIST!!!!! Dario Cuerto is brilliant, I love that he grants everyone's match requests but monkey paws it up. King Mil Muertes is so good, fabulous entrance, in a casket match w/Lawlor - messy and violent. KMM is fits in with these great workers that MLW has, that all have great physical presence (JFatu, Hammerstone) but would be exposed size-wise if they were in WWE. 6 on 6 Elimination Match was well done, giving a bunch of lesser pushed guys a chance to show their gimmicks and moves. Kevin Ku is deliciously sleazy, I feel that he has definitely hung around places where fentanyl is stored in big blue barrels. EJ Nuduka looked like a million bucks and is vastly improved. The time off has improved Davey Richards ring work but Bobby Fish continues to underwhelm despite his boss facial hair. Sea Stars I remember from Chikara but they have not improved in my eyes. Even the ugly Philly crowd adored them tho'. "Cute" is les than "kawaii" for me, gimmick-wise. The standout for me here was Willow Nightengale. Jacob Fatu is my fave rave, and title vs. title with Alexander Hammerstone did not disappoint. Big beefy moves, good selling and intense 2 counts. These boys went 30+ minutes and turned it out. So sad for RAF to see Fatu lose the belt but it was the right thing to do. Fatu (and Samael) really were MVPs here. The only thing worse than half-wits trying to start chants because they never attended an ECW card back in the day is hipster beardos who watch too many PWG tapes starting chants. This is my bete noire, especially since I always sit next to these pencilnecks. I like sitting next to small children or handicapable folks who get into the action and know the show isn't all about them. Special mention goes to the fellow sitting in front of me, whose massive afro literally blocked out 1/3 of the ring for me at all times but it's cool because that afro was so impressive. This, despite the fact that he was filming on his phone the whole time (BN#2) - FOR WHAT, WHY?!?!?! Also, because I am a jagoff, my nemesis was there, this goony-bird who walks around with a custom "YOUTUBE CHAMP" belt and hangs out by the merch tables, trying to get people to do photos with him. He is always filming and narrating in a simpleminded manner. If I stop posting here it's because I was sent to lockup for assault, as he tries to interview folks and get them to play along. YOU ARE NOT IN THE BIZ I am not anymore but this gets my goat. It almost happened when I was waiting with my chum Jason for his Uber. South Philly is a wooly place but I walked home, smoking cigars as is my wont. Sorry so much negativity, welcome to my soul. MLW was fun and I learned alot. p.s. The Savoy injury was a bruised sternum, I was right. Happened to me once, brother it feels like you are having a grabber. Apparently, TJP was also injured, and there was a worked injury for Tankman. Hammerstone sprained his ankle early in the match and gutted it out, the kid is a trooper, best wishes for recovery to all.
  10. Probably. It was a lot of chairshots ago. It was a small venue right between the trailer park with the strip club and the strip club in the trailer park - y'know where they start to speak with a southern accent? (Indiana joke, people, it's grim there). I can't even remember the indy fed - Lightning Rod Bell? John Osbourne? Don't tell me you were there?!?!?
  11. I always marked out for The Texicans. The throwback gimmick, great sleazy look, the good names, the... mask? Solid workers able to get heat, so much more fun than just seeing some bland green babyface get an undeserved W. Southern Justice is a boss team name as well. The Attitude Era surely proved their gameness and sense of humor.
  12. Frankly, it just makes me angry at my father that he is not a billionaire. - RAF
  13. Kawaii Onita is going to be the name of my K-pop band that just does Crass covers, very pomo... - RAF
  14. One of my saddest rasslin memories is being present for an argument in an Indiana lockerroom between Moose Cholak and Ian Rotten. Total generation gap and both guys were hot that the other did not know who they were. I had to mediate, there were no winners. - RAF
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