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Halfway through the season, she'll be replaced by Sandy Duncan and nobody will notice.

And the award for saddest post of 2013 goes to....

Guys, you should be in the September Miley thread.

YOU-MANGA

We thought we were getting sleaze. But what we got was... unremarkable.

Really like this one from wwe.com:

[W.H.]Obsession is the fairest condition of Man. In most forms it distracts him from his own imminent death. In the best forms it directs him to it. This chicken tastes like shoe.[W.H]

All nuanced arguments are worthless in this thread, Daniel Bryan fetishism brings out the worst in all of us

It took awhile, but Phil Collins is finally about to pay for recording "Sussidio"

I think you mean Macho Man's diving elbow drop. Yeah, longest WWE Title reign in modern history, and second biggest merch mover. That turned out great. What does any of that have to do with Test? please tell me you're not implying Test had a bad elbow drop don't even joke like that Test's elbow drop was fucking great

Whoever brings back the torture rack also needs to bring back the chicken dance signalling the torture rack. Once Luger started flapping his arms like a drunk uncle at a wedding reception, the crowd would get hyped up beyond belief.

.. look to this thread. I figure this would be easier than pm-ing about this all the time. The STORY SO FAR.... What worked: - We have the sql file and it is 1.5 gigs of TEXT. - Our million dollar server boys- who don't hate us nearly as much the old guys- keep re-importing it to MySQL ever time I fuck it hard and fuck it good- and then I have to delete it. - You can see the table with all the the threads and the posts. So they are there. What didn't work: - Tried to convert it to a Simple Machine board but just ended up creating new SMF board. Deleted folder. Went back to scouring the internet. - Tried to install a beta version of IPB 3.4.5 but is overroad everything and created a brand new board. Deleted folder. Deleted suddenly sleek and lightweight database. Will assume that I should back up database on MySQL before million dollar server boys OPT to start hating me like old server boys did. On DECK! - Today or tomorrow, depending on how soon they re-import the archive sql to MySQL and we have the database back, we attempt to merge it with THIS board: http://deathvalleydriver.com/mybbboard/index.php and KNOW TOO, Young Prince, that the default skin is so hideous I thought my heart would explode with joy. Check in now and then to see how hard we take it in the giblets. Thank you and if you have any ideas, WHY THE FUCK HAVEN'T YOU SHARED THEM WITH ME? DEAN, your friend...

I wonder what the weather is like for the Orioles game.

Well then there's no excuse. This must be rectified. The bosses are working on trying to resurrect the dead, so I'll offer my services to get the filters working. I'll probably add a few more like burying Daniel Bryan = WAAAAAAAHBURGER AND A SIDE OF CRIES

*spit take*

Cody and Dustin.

Ruxin: "Is that a trident made of dildos?" Dirty Randy: "I do not know what a trident is, but these are dildos." IT'S BACK!!!!

Wait, what? http://www.autopsyfiles.org/reports/Celebs/fatu,%20edward_report.pdf He... He... Jewmaga? I denounce myself.

The guy filling it out sounds kind of like a douche. "the tongue is unremarkable" "The testicles are unremarkable." He's lucky Umaga didn't pop up and Samoan Spike him in the throat right then and there.

Kid Doomer sounds like a heel faction from Dragongate that feuded with Do Fixer and got featured at a ROH show from 2008.

So maybe we should first define what you mean by "best." The Rock is the clear cut most successful. As far as the actual craft is concerned, as in the bell-to-bell, that's kind of subjective. It's totally subjective. When I say best I never ever want an objective answer. What a horribly dry and boring conversation that would be. If I asked who was the most successful wrestler ever(of any race or gender), we'd be bogged down in gate attendances and pay-per-view buyrates and inflation conversions and by the time we finally decide it's Hulk Hogan or Steve Austin or Rock no one cares because they always knew it was one of those three. "Best" should be defined as whoever ought to win a Samoan Madness tournament run by you.

Umaga and Jeff Hardy was the only match combination that could get me to stop fast-forwarding during a period of time when I would skip over 95% of RAW. I never got sick of those two guys wrestling each other all of the time. DA SAMOAN BULL-DOH-SER!

My personal favorite Samoan wrestler has to be Umaga. He came along during the age of the internet cynic, when everybody was crapping all over the gimmick before it even started. WIthin a few weeks he had changed a lot of minds due to his awesomeness. He was also a great reason to watch when things on top were mostly crap(DX).

I'm biased but I enjoyed Rock's in-ring stuff from 2000-2001. Admittedly, he did work with some good-to-amazing people in that time. I wouldn't limit my "best wrestler" criteria to just in-ring skills though, so I'm wacky.

As for all the debates about cast changes, I think MST3K is a show that stayed strong despite the changes over the years.

He really adds a different type of douche to that crew. I don't know what makes them douchebags. They have been one of the consistently tight knit units (and better performing teams in Zuffa) since they all came together. They actually acknowledge their weaknesses unlike many other top camps, who would rather hire their homeboys to be coaches until they disband. I've never heard one outside fighter that trained there for extra help have anything not positive to say about them.

Jeezus Christ there is a ton of hand-wringing going on in this thread. The biggest complaint anyone should have is Orton being waaaaay too complacent with playing second fiddle to HHH. However, he makes up for that with his new concern trolling act where he acts like he has to defend the WWE from having Daniel Bryan be the face of the company. That right there should clue everyone in to where this angle is going. That is the setup. HHH builds interest in the Cena vs Daniel Bryan match by getting behind Daniel Bryan, but he doesn't expect him to win. When he does, cue the backup plan of installing another pretty face as champion by using Orton's Money in the Bank contract. HHH and Steph et al show that they really don't want this bearded troll as champion in fear of how embarrassing it would look with having Bryan be the face of the company. It means so much to them to avoid that embarrassment that they look past years of history with Orton to back him as their champion to maintain the status quo. To finish up the setup of this angle, they tell Bryan he will never be the face of the company and they put him in his place by way of using incredible numbers against him. The body of this angle has been Bryan not backing down and returning for beating, after beating, after beating to show that it doesn't matter how much he gets beat down, he will keep coming until they kill him. The beatings on Daniel Bryan also serve as a message to the rest of the roster that there is a new sheriff in town and unlike Vince, he isn't going to pussyfoot around and threaten firings. He will break you and fire you at a time where being a wrestler matters most like they did with Rhodes. He will rip out your soul and emasculate you by forcing you to fight your buddy and point out to everyone else just how badly you're doing outside of wrestling. What is unspoken so far is that the majority of the WWE roster doesn't rise up because they don't want to get fired, they don't want to get beaten down and have their lives ruined, they just want to be a wrestler and not make waves. Deep down, they hope Bryan can make a difference, but really, they're the people on the sideline asking the police when enough is enough when the police use excessive violence to break up rallies, not being brave enough to stand up to the police themselves. Of course there is strength in numbers and hundreds of people could stand up to a small police force, but they don't. "The beatings will continue until morale improves" is the mantra here. Sooner or later, we're going to get our Daniel Bryan hulk-up moment where he goes bananas and doesn't stay down because you can't hurt him any worse than he has already been hurt. My thought is that this moment still occurs at the Chicago Raw later this month. That's only a few weeks away with a PPV along the way. If that Chicago Raw comes and goes without Daniel Bryan being booked strong against the new corporation, then I'll probably check out because the ultimate payoff just isn't going to be worth it. Until then, I understand where they're going with this angle and still enjoy it, but I'm starting to get a little suspicious as to the direction of this angle.

This picture reminds me of Sheiky telling Mean Gene that he respects him, even though he's a Jew.

He was just so happy to get the fuck out of Rochester, NY he just grabbed whatever was near him and took off.

It's coming in 2012.

He really is a saint. When I was about 10 playing hockey, I had a hockey bag with him on the side of it. It was great.

I don't really have a lot to say here, except that for whatever reason Chapelle seems to attract really rotten hecklers. I know his last Austin show before this big festival tour had a dude ruin the set. I think it's a feedback loop where, because he's had bad nights show up on Youtube, and is famous as "a flake" for quitting his show when he became uncomfortable with its content, people try to get under his skin and succeed. Why security isn't specifically prepared for such eventualities I have no fucking clue, since they must know by now that (a) Chapelle attracts heckling shitbags and ( Chapelle will ragequit if he feels disrespected. I'm not saying turn the show into a prison or anything, but they need to be aware that shitbag removal duty is going to be higher on their priority list than usual and they have to be ready to hustle. On a side note, has anyone here ever heckled a comedian at any level of the game? No judgment from me, as I did it once more or less by accident. When I was in training for my job, cooped up in a dorm with a ton of other blind and VI people, they made it a point of dragging us all out to the Funny Bone once a month, and then wondering why we all got fucking hammered. The headliner that night was a decent enough 'working'/touring guy whose name eludes me. He, rather than the MC, made it a point of thanking the people from World Services for the Blind for coming out and pointed to the group of twenty-five or so white canes in the front of the club, and I blurted out "Just please say you aren't a prop comic." He gave me an ice cold "no" and only then did I realize I had actually *said* it. I was totally mortified, and apologized profusely (and bought a CD I have since lost) after the show.

My favorite African American wrestler was Akeem.

Well we all want to do that anyway. . . .Hell, Eagles fans want to shoot Eagles fans. Nobody wants to see us on the streets... Also, RIPPA, could you please put back your old avatar, the guy facepalming. It was always so apropos to your NFL posts. The guy was Mark Henry Sweet sweet beloved Mark Henry

Not their worst individually: http://www.mmajunkie.com/news/2012/12/the-ultimate-fighter-16-ratings-episode-no-12-draws-678000-viewers

That's what my dad said when I said I was getting married.

You'd be fiending for a hit of something too if you had to constantly listen to Bret Hart put himself over all the time. --- Cool Cody Rhodes article at WWE.com http://www.wwe.com/classics/wcw/cody-rhodes-growing-up-wcw-26138473 Yeah, sure you were going to stand up to THE MONSTER MENG!, young Cody. And I don't remember the Falcons coming out to celebrate Goldberg's title win at the Georgia Dome. I've heard Goldberg mention it too. I do remember them eventually coming out after the "Fingerpoke Of Doom" which Rhodes forgets was the next Nitro at the Georgia Dome. Hence why the house was half-full for the one with Megadeth. --- If Tama had maintained his weight around Islander size he could've been a big player. Imagine him being crowned King instead of Haku. He had a way cockier and heelish demeanor than Haku and they could've easily done King Tama vs. babyface King Tonga Haku. He was so much bigger and completely unrecognizable when he showed up in WCW as the Samoan Savage.

Big Show cries way too much especially over someone that made him have the shortest WHC reign in history and then made him feel guilty for running over a small girl. Maybe he needs some TRT. I don't get the feeling that Bryan is being buried by getting beat up every week. I feel like it's really not doing the heels any favors that they can't keep this little guy down when they have the NUMBERS GAME! in their favor. There's a big difference between a slow build where there's actual storyline progression and WWE simply treading water to get to NOC by doing the same repetitive ending every show. Of course, I haven't watched every second of WWE's nine hours of first-run weekly programming so I may have missed some nuance. They could've taken Bryan out the first week and just cut promos on him and beat up other babyfaces the next couple of weeks in order to set up the rest of the title matches at NOC until Bryan returns to help the babyfaces clean house on the go-home show.

I'm 33, the oldest I've been yet.

Jeeze, it's like Smackdown Spoilers. You guys can't accept any little criticism of your favorite wrestler.

BTW - this is also Dean's way of saying that if the board goes down over the next couple of days don't be all OMG! THE BOARD IS DOWN AGAIN!!! I DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO READ FOR FIVE MINUTES!!! YOU GUYS SUCK!!!

I don't expect it to last very long but I'm loving the hell out of Olbermann's new show. Hopefully he wont leave. His run so far has been the best show on the ESPN family of networks in ages, probably since PTI started.

No good can come of this.

If their new thing is that everything is real, and there is no where else to work but WWE, then they should start attaching $ values to victories. It would make losing streaks mean something (poor Zach Ryder can't even afford a six-pack of Pabst Blue these days). It would explain how Big Show went broke, as he was 2-8 on PPV's last year. I'd give such an idea four Post-Modern Douchebags, out of five

Harley's Revenge carries over all the upgrades. Whatever stuff you have with Batman and Robin in the challenge maps will be there in Harley's Revenge. As much as people hate the swerves at the end, the entire endgame sequence (from the Point of No Return in the Steel Mill to the credits) is one of my favorite stretches in and video game.

Let me make you feel like nothing has changed.Please complete the following analogy:Miley Cyrus is to twerking as Davey Richards is to _________.Twerking