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Halfway through the season, she'll be replaced by Sandy Duncan and nobody will notice.

And the award for saddest post of 2013 goes to....

Guys, you should be in the September Miley thread.

YOU-MANGA

We thought we were getting sleaze. But what we got was... unremarkable.

Really like this one from wwe.com:

[W.H.]Obsession is the fairest condition of Man. In most forms it distracts him from his own imminent death. In the best forms it directs him to it. This chicken tastes like shoe.[W.H]

All nuanced arguments are worthless in this thread, Daniel Bryan fetishism brings out the worst in all of us

It took awhile, but Phil Collins is finally about to pay for recording "Sussidio"

I think you mean Macho Man's diving elbow drop. Yeah, longest WWE Title reign in modern history, and second biggest merch mover. That turned out great. What does any of that have to do with Test? please tell me you're not implying Test had a bad elbow drop don't even joke like that Test's elbow drop was fucking great

Whoever brings back the torture rack also needs to bring back the chicken dance signalling the torture rack. Once Luger started flapping his arms like a drunk uncle at a wedding reception, the crowd would get hyped up beyond belief.

.. look to this thread. I figure this would be easier than pm-ing about this all the time. The STORY SO FAR.... What worked: - We have the sql file and it is 1.5 gigs of TEXT. - Our million dollar server boys- who don't hate us nearly as much the old guys- keep re-importing it to MySQL ever time I fuck it hard and fuck it good- and then I have to delete it. - You can see the table with all the the threads and the posts. So they are there. What didn't work: - Tried to convert it to a Simple Machine board but just ended up creating new SMF board. Deleted folder. Went back to scouring the internet. - Tried to install a beta version of IPB 3.4.5 but is overroad everything and created a brand new board. Deleted folder. Deleted suddenly sleek and lightweight database. Will assume that I should back up database on MySQL before million dollar server boys OPT to start hating me like old server boys did. On DECK! - Today or tomorrow, depending on how soon they re-import the archive sql to MySQL and we have the database back, we attempt to merge it with THIS board: http://deathvalleydriver.com/mybbboard/index.php and KNOW TOO, Young Prince, that the default skin is so hideous I thought my heart would explode with joy. Check in now and then to see how hard we take it in the giblets. Thank you and if you have any ideas, WHY THE FUCK HAVEN'T YOU SHARED THEM WITH ME? DEAN, your friend...

I wonder what the weather is like for the Orioles game.

Well then there's no excuse. This must be rectified. The bosses are working on trying to resurrect the dead, so I'll offer my services to get the filters working. I'll probably add a few more like burying Daniel Bryan = WAAAAAAAHBURGER AND A SIDE OF CRIES

*spit take*

Cody and Dustin.

Ruxin: "Is that a trident made of dildos?" Dirty Randy: "I do not know what a trident is, but these are dildos." IT'S BACK!!!!

Wait, what? http://www.autopsyfiles.org/reports/Celebs/fatu,%20edward_report.pdf He... He... Jewmaga? I denounce myself.

The guy filling it out sounds kind of like a douche. "the tongue is unremarkable" "The testicles are unremarkable." He's lucky Umaga didn't pop up and Samoan Spike him in the throat right then and there.

Kid Doomer sounds like a heel faction from Dragongate that feuded with Do Fixer and got featured at a ROH show from 2008.

So maybe we should first define what you mean by "best." The Rock is the clear cut most successful. As far as the actual craft is concerned, as in the bell-to-bell, that's kind of subjective. It's totally subjective. When I say best I never ever want an objective answer. What a horribly dry and boring conversation that would be. If I asked who was the most successful wrestler ever(of any race or gender), we'd be bogged down in gate attendances and pay-per-view buyrates and inflation conversions and by the time we finally decide it's Hulk Hogan or Steve Austin or Rock no one cares because they always knew it was one of those three. "Best" should be defined as whoever ought to win a Samoan Madness tournament run by you.

Umaga and Jeff Hardy was the only match combination that could get me to stop fast-forwarding during a period of time when I would skip over 95% of RAW. I never got sick of those two guys wrestling each other all of the time. DA SAMOAN BULL-DOH-SER!

My personal favorite Samoan wrestler has to be Umaga. He came along during the age of the internet cynic, when everybody was crapping all over the gimmick before it even started. WIthin a few weeks he had changed a lot of minds due to his awesomeness. He was also a great reason to watch when things on top were mostly crap(DX).

I'm biased but I enjoyed Rock's in-ring stuff from 2000-2001. Admittedly, he did work with some good-to-amazing people in that time. I wouldn't limit my "best wrestler" criteria to just in-ring skills though, so I'm wacky.

As for all the debates about cast changes, I think MST3K is a show that stayed strong despite the changes over the years.

He really adds a different type of douche to that crew. I don't know what makes them douchebags. They have been one of the consistently tight knit units (and better performing teams in Zuffa) since they all came together. They actually acknowledge their weaknesses unlike many other top camps, who would rather hire their homeboys to be coaches until they disband. I've never heard one outside fighter that trained there for extra help have anything not positive to say about them.

Jeezus Christ there is a ton of hand-wringing going on in this thread. The biggest complaint anyone should have is Orton being waaaaay too complacent with playing second fiddle to HHH. However, he makes up for that with his new concern trolling act where he acts like he has to defend the WWE from having Daniel Bryan be the face of the company. That right there should clue everyone in to where this angle is going. That is the setup. HHH builds interest in the Cena vs Daniel Bryan match by getting behind Daniel Bryan, but he doesn't expect him to win. When he does, cue the backup plan of installing another pretty face as champion by using Orton's Money in the Bank contract. HHH and Steph et al show that they really don't want this bearded troll as champion in fear of how embarrassing it would look with having Bryan be the face of the company. It means so much to them to avoid that embarrassment that they look past years of history with Orton to back him as their champion to maintain the status quo. To finish up the setup of this angle, they tell Bryan he will never be the face of the company and they put him in his place by way of using incredible numbers against him. The body of this angle has been Bryan not backing down and returning for beating, after beating, after beating to show that it doesn't matter how much he gets beat down, he will keep coming until they kill him. The beatings on Daniel Bryan also serve as a message to the rest of the roster that there is a new sheriff in town and unlike Vince, he isn't going to pussyfoot around and threaten firings. He will break you and fire you at a time where being a wrestler matters most like they did with Rhodes. He will rip out your soul and emasculate you by forcing you to fight your buddy and point out to everyone else just how badly you're doing outside of wrestling. What is unspoken so far is that the majority of the WWE roster doesn't rise up because they don't want to get fired, they don't want to get beaten down and have their lives ruined, they just want to be a wrestler and not make waves. Deep down, they hope Bryan can make a difference, but really, they're the people on the sideline asking the police when enough is enough when the police use excessive violence to break up rallies, not being brave enough to stand up to the police themselves. Of course there is strength in numbers and hundreds of people could stand up to a small police force, but they don't. "The beatings will continue until morale improves" is the mantra here. Sooner or later, we're going to get our Daniel Bryan hulk-up moment where he goes bananas and doesn't stay down because you can't hurt him any worse than he has already been hurt. My thought is that this moment still occurs at the Chicago Raw later this month. That's only a few weeks away with a PPV along the way. If that Chicago Raw comes and goes without Daniel Bryan being booked strong against the new corporation, then I'll probably check out because the ultimate payoff just isn't going to be worth it. Until then, I understand where they're going with this angle and still enjoy it, but I'm starting to get a little suspicious as to the direction of this angle.

This picture reminds me of Sheiky telling Mean Gene that he respects him, even though he's a Jew.

He was just so happy to get the fuck out of Rochester, NY he just grabbed whatever was near him and took off.

It's coming in 2012.

Mickie James is awesome. I have nothing else to say about the show.

It's a strange phenomenon. This board seems to do well 11 months of the year when talking about this sort of thing. If I asked, "hey, who's having a great year this year?" we'd get plenty of nice discussion about who has been kicking ass. But you put it in a bracket form in March and it gets down right hateful.

Thank you fellas, so long, giant redskins t-shirt

Their Mutant Massacre crossover issues were the better ones as well. I thought the same as well far as Mutant Massacre is concerned, I haven't read them in a long time and I'm uncertain how well that they may have aged, but I remember the Thor issues were wonderfully cathartic in the midst of the horror and despair of that whole crossover (notwithstanding the "Merry Marvel Mutant Massacre Crossover Map" thing...). Thor comes in, rescues Angel, and then proceeds to - literally in one case - bash in people's skulls, before calling down lightning to funeral pyre all of the Morlock bodies in the sewers. Taking into account their involvement with X-Factor, Thor and Power Pack, the Simonsons did come of that whole crossover looking pretty good.

It's only for the Big Finish Audio continuing stories but... Ladies and gentlemen... Your new Romana. Juliet Landau. She's playing a future version in the Gallifrey series (which are Romana II & Leela) of stories.

WWE has shown with Punk that they are patient when they believe in a failing angle, I think this has legs.

Pod People. Also the home of the Potato Soliloquy.

Goddamn thats perfect with the caption. So evil.

Well, there are a few ways to look at that. One is that he learned some type of important lesson from that feud/match and then went on to lose 4 consecutive times to the gentleman I referenced in an attempt to "do what is best for business" The other is that HHH is a racist that banged your mom.

That match was awesome. Very well laid-out. Cody has really become great with using his facial expressions to get over the various emotions one would feel in a shocking retirement match. It was actually sort of heart breaking when Orton JUST BARELY kicked out of The Crossroads and Cody realized his doom was probably very likely. He then had to go for his third kick and it cost him. Like he said in the promo: Randy was the better man that night, and that happens.I'm actually sort of torn on the ending. It would have gotten some huge heat if Randy won with some foot on the rope thing. But at the same time, despite being handed the belt and having the deck stacked in his favor (and relishing it), Randy's very capable on his own merits. I think that makes him even more vile.

Today marks three years since Mrs. Super Ape and I tied the knot. We're down the shore celebrating, plus I get a much-needed break from work!

Uh oh... Heathers is on FLIX after I get off work tonight. THE BATTLE CONTINUES!

No fucking venue is going to stop the sell of alcohol.

Didn't see Benson Henderson vs. Anthony Pettis 2 ending like that, Pettis the new UFC Lightweight Champion via first round armbar. Also:

So you're saying they'd go...Buck wild?