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“That’s the most carny shit I’ve ever heard.” ”Thank you!” “Vince Fuckin’ McMahon!”

Murderers Row

LOOOOL the unmitigated balls on these guys. Can't hold a call-in stockholder meeting due to Covid-19, but can hold live wrestling events.

Doesn’t say for the better.

My grandfather tested positive last night. 81 years old with over a half dozen heart attacks under his belt. They sent him home to wait it out - tough old fucker's already had it for about a week apparently. Talked to him on Monday and his update was simply "Ahh, just got a touch of something, kid." If you're religious say your prayers, if you're not, send your vibes. Thanks all.

I feel like you wrote this with your feet

Spring Stampede 1994 is probably the best PPV in WCW history top to bottom. Even the Muta/Austin match which Meltzer shitted on in the Observer is a pretty good. IMO it (along with Flair/Steamboat and Regal/Pillman) was a nice change of pace considering all the insanity (the infamous Chicago Street Fight, Sting/Rude, Dustin/Bunkhouse Buck, & Vader/The Boss) on most of the card. Vader vs. The Boss is one of the hossiest hoss matches of all time. They beat the tar out of each other and Vader ends up bleeding. Dustin bled for the sake of humanity. Sting vs. Rude had a ton of heat (based on what would happen shortly after that, this has two meanings). The Nasty Boys vs. Jack and Maxx Payne is insane by any standard or year you're judging it by. Everybody had their working boots on. I wonder why.

If you need an EMT, Davey Richards is a logical choice. He's no-sold almost everything else over the years. Why would death be any different? I assume he would suplex me back to life.

Plus, the recent smoking gun when it came to what was funding XFL.

Pretty sneaky sis... https://corporate.wwe.com/investors/news/press-releases/2020/04-09-2020-215949977

That actually happened to my dad when I was a kid. Spoilered for length and apropos of nothingness:

All I know is now the idea of Roman in AEW and out from under Vince’s thumb is in my head, and that impossible dream has me horny for wrestling. Really, is there a bigger indictment of McMahon booking than him so badly mismanaging the top guy he’s most committed to? It’s bananas.

GIVE HER THE DAMN EMMY!

Current wrestling can suck my dick right now. Fuck all the selfish bastards in power who put my loved ones at risk for fucking rushing the economy, and fuck that sociopath in D.C..

Okay, you know what? I’ll give him a pass now that I realize he’s a massive mark for Fist of The North Star going by this introduction video...

Asuka is either having a ball entertaining herself or is losing her mind in isolation. Either way, she's the best part of Raw every week.

It's apparently rained enough that Ukrainian officials say the fire is now under control.

Hoping he makes it and mangles it with his bare hands somehow and makes a crude table out of its remains. "This wasn't even as bad as that time I had to remove my own kidney with a spoon just because I wanted to see what it looked like."

Here's an excerpt from an interview I did with Bad News back in 2004: One other thing I’ve always wondered, how did your family react to Roddy Piper painting himself half black? My family didn’t like it, I didn’t like it, but him and Vince thought it was a great idea. I figured that if he was going to do that he was taking his life into his own hands, plus I didn’t like Piper anyway, he was a racist, so I figured if he got beat up for it or whatever, he deserved it. What were they going for there? I have no idea. I don’t know if it was just to make fun of us, I don’t know what they were trying to prove.

We need a scenario that ends up with Asuka and Sami Zayn skanking in the ring together.

After his blind Twitter defense of WWE after Dean Ambrose left, if Seth Rollins ever gets fired from WWE, I always imagined he would be outside the arena, watching glumly as his bag and gear are tossed out of the dressing room onto the street, and standing behind him is the nerd from Robot Chicken: Nerd: "This is awesome! Now you're finally free to go full time with AEW and New Japan! I can't wait to watch Jon Moxley suplex you into a barbed wire spider web, or for you to work 40-minutes night in, night out against Sanada, Okada, and Tanahashi during the G1 Climax!!!" Seth Rollins: "Shut the fuck up! You think I WANT to do any of that shit??!!??"

Is this about Roman? Because that dude would get a fat AEW contract, cut loose and look more like a star than he ever did in WWE. He'd never need to think about MLW or Impact. Also, Roman Reigns working an Osprey-Red style match would be dumb as dirt. Him not working like that is a feature, not a bug.

Keep in mind, Vince co-wrote a movie where a morally bankrupt wrestling promoter kidnapped the girlfriend of America's biggest wrestling star AND had the guy's younger brother crippled and put into a wheelchair in order to pressure him into working a match. If I'm Roman, I'm sending my daughter to live with distant relatives in Samoa until all this blows over.

Don Muraco looks a little more Hawaiian than Italian these days (yeah, I know he's native Hawaiian, and Muraco is an Italian surname). It's a very Italian sort of season for DSOTR between both Nancys, Russo, Muraco, Dino Bravo, and New Jack's spaghetti.

The way I consume wrestling, looks and knowing how to carry a tune go pretty far. I’m not saying he’s a superstar, just that I’m a big fan. Earned or unearned, he takes those reactions and makes a final product I genuinely enjoy. I won’t argue taste with you though. As far as promos, I consume as little WWE talk as possible because it’s agonizing. But Roman’s natural personality and charm offer plenty of still untapped onscreen potential.

Robert Kraft has an interest in making sure various industries are back up and running as soon as possible

Watch Roman in interviews outside the ring, then watch his interviews in the ring. He's among the biggest victims of the horrific writing that they think is great because of Cena not understanding that Cena could read a phone book and make it entertaining.

I think you could convert a few people who are about moves. But that movement probably isn’t enough to justify it. A lot of Roman’s usefulness comes from the company man and product of the system stink he has on him. That makes for good conflicts with talents who don’t have that reputation. I don’t want “workrate fanatics” to like Roman more — I want the opposite, because it makes for more interesting crowd reactions and matches.

I doubt this is the case. The Punk interview and how they've booked him killed him. Plus he's just a fine/pretty good promo and an uninteresting character for the most part. He looks cool and is good in the ring.

Finished up the day 16 with two more matches. The Barbarian making his solo debut, I believe, Heenan as his manager. And he's here to squash Tito, or, I believed this was squash until I actually rewatched it. I literally could count the number of offensive moves the Barbarian made on one hand. Seriously, this was 90% Santana, he makes a mistake, and Barbarian basically flukes into a win. Also of note is a NASTY flying clothesline that Barbie uses to win the match. I winced when I saw it, and on the replay, it clearly shows Barb saying "shit" right after and looked like he was apologizing during the cover. The reams of paper that have been written about Dusty's first run in WWF are legion. Here he is making his WrestleMania debut and he's shackled by Sapphire. I genuinely do not know why Vince chose this. But, I'm guessing cocaine featured heavily in the decision making process. Dusty and Sapphire are in a mixed tag match (according to the Fink, the first ever in WWF?) against... His Royal Highness, Randall, of House Savage, Monarch of Madness, Destroyer of Hulkamania, Master of Axe Handles and Reviving Elbow Drops, First of His Name. And Her Royal Highness, Sherri, of House Martel, Princess of Senation, Sister to the Heat of Harlem, Singer of the Sexiness, First of Her Name. This match should be studied for generations as to why you never, EVER begin a feud at Wrestlemania. The Savage and Rhodes parts are all fine, building to something that could have been fucking amazing. However, the entire matched is completely hamstrung because Sherri (MVP), Savage, and Rhodes, have to slow down to like one-eighth-speed to walk Sapphire through her spots. I weep when I think of what this could have been if Dusty and Randy (and Sherri) were given 15-20 minutes on their own. Good lord. So the newly returned Elizabeth costs Sherri the match, in what in 2020 would have included Macho turning on Sherri too and saying Elizabeth was his queen and having them both heel out the rest of the year. Intermission time now and I'm done for the day.

Well, didn't the actual BFA brackets look like that too?

Now I am actually interested in what they are gonna be watching. Anyway, found this last night. It's a blind spot for me in Bava's filmography, apparently not his best, but Bava + Elke Sommer + Joseph Cotton sounds good to me.

When were they a voice for social change? I must have missed that part.

Well yeah, it's pretty obvious they don't want to face stockholders due to that revelation, the fact that they continue to hold shows despite how bad it makes the company look, and probably a bunch of other things (like facing tough questions about the company's profitability moving forward?). But to hide behind coronavrus is fucking shameful and disgustingly transparent. This is the company who took pride in running a show days after 9/11, and now they won't do a conference call because of coronavirus? Please. And filing for XFL bankruptcy a few weeks in like this is like the scene in Goodfellas where they burned down the restaurant.

A Conman Thompson podcast featuring an overdone, unfunny running gag that is run into the ground in two episodes but keeps going forever? Say it ain't so.

While there's various buzz words regarding Lawler being thrown around on Twitter (cancel culture, snowflakes, etc) it really is quite simple. The guy is an out-of-touch old man in a company run by an even more out-of-touch old man. Saying "ramen noodle moonsault" would have been offensive then and it sure as shit now. And it wasn't even a moonsault that was done FFS. The fucker needs to stay home and never commentate again. But to not make this an entirely negative post goddamn is Asuka an absolute treasure. I don't know if the empty arena vibe would have allowed her room to do all this I'm sure glad she is.

...aaaand GCW Lost in New York is available On Demand this morning.

@Curt McGirt Have some Buddy Rose in WWF against Bob Backlund

I don’t think I took a breath for the last 5 minutes of this weeks show. Legit breathtaking drama.

Thinking about something leads me to a question for hopefully fun discussion: What was your biggest "I was such a mark" thing? For me, it was Yellow Dog. In my defense, they didn't run cable down my road until 1994, so my only access to WCW was the official magazine, the other Apter mags, and, if I could manage to stay awake until I think 2 am Saturday night, Worldwide. So I saw a match where somebody (probably Windham?) was wrestling Yellow Dog, and Brian Pillman came out to ringside (my first guess is that it was probably Brad Armstrong under the hood in retrospect, since he was similarly sized, and WCW loved putting Brad under hoods) so I was completely convinced Pillman wasn't breaking the loser leaves stip, and Windham was just being a jerk claiming Yellow Dog was Flyin' Brian. It was just first time seeing the Midnight Rider/Charlie Brown from Outta Town/Mr. America angle.

Still my favorite U.S. show ever. Buck/Dustin was my favorite WCW match.

92 WCW is amazing. 93 is often amazing, but the booking is so god damn bad at times. The first half of '94 is amazing.

I believe the only thing getting in Roman's way is Vince McMahon's booking of him, he has everything you need in a top guy. He can go in the ring. He's got a great personality and can talk. He's a great babyface and probably a way better heel.

No problem - Haku was in the WWF starting in 1985. He wins each year until he leaves in 1992.

Terry Funk looks like Ricky Steamboat. Snuka looks like most singers in 70’s bands. Harley Looks like Conway Twitty. Stan Hansen looks like Stan Hansen. Jumbo is Powers Boothe.

Bumping this because this season has been fucking awesome so far. I feel like they did a full assessment of what was and wasn't working and along with the Westworld set burning down they have no more crutches and they're sticking with everything that works. The reveal last night for the pearls was pretty awesome, I didn't see that coming, and it ultimately makes sense. It's also scary as fuck. I'm also torn. In a sense, I think what Dolores is trying to do should be done, but I also agree with Sarac that humans are by and large pieces of shit unless you can wrangle them all in and then you can basically save the world. So I'm certainly a fan of the planet being a better place if everyone is run by an AI giving them direction for who and what to be, but at the same time, you're more than likely to be most of the people called up from NXT where you'll just be wasted and creative will have nothing for you and you'll be nothing more than a ditch digger. The cast has been significantly upgraded too, not just with Aaron Paul, but with Tommy Flanagan getting significant screen time. He was one of my favorite guys on Sons of Anarchy and I'm happy he's getting even more work here. My wife and I are really loving this season and the absence of timeline fuckery has improved things greatly.