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Did anybody not picture Brandon Cutler trying to defuse the situation by capering around ineffectually in a zubaz jumpsuit spraying deep freeze in the air wildly

Every person online saying things to the effect of "this is giving me late-stage WCW vibes" is, once again, proving that nobody watched late-stage WCW.

ACTIVE WRESTLERS WHO WOULD PROBABLY DO A PRETTY GOOD JOB MANAGING A TARGET John Silver - Amiable, works well in a group, likely owns a bunch of 'funny' ties Orange Cassidy - Cool under pressure, blasé façade covers up boundless well of rage, which is useful in retail settings Adam Page - Wouldn't hassle you too much about corporate metrics as long as the job gets done, probably has a little fridge with beer in his office. ACTIVE WRESTLERS WHO WOULD PROBABLY DO A PRETTY BAD JOB MANAGING A TARGET CM Punk - Tries to build camaraderie by shit-talking coworkers to you, does not realize that you know he is also shit-talking you to other co-workers. Powerhouse Hobbs - Neck will not fit in any standard polo shirt. Luchasaurus - Untrustworthy, is a dinosaur.

Lost in all this is the absolutely classist bullshit of "these guys couldn't manage a Target." I can say with a pretty high degree of certainty that managing a Target is more honest and difficult work than this jackoff has ever done in his life. Thin skinned as he is, imagine Punk managing a Target and just losing his shit the first time some Karen demands to see him because her Circle Rewards aren't being applied properly to her purchase. I hope the Michael Nakazawa trades in his black polo for a red one just to troll this jerk.

TK is playing EWR on the highest difficulty.

I am SQUEAKY CLEAN and ON TIME! Let's watch some wrestling, shall we? Sammy Guevara accepts his ass beating from Jon Moxley! I love that they are booking this around MOX going on vacation for six weeks. So Bryan Danielson is sooo winning this. Sammy is without Tay Melo! He is focused! Sammy IS Larry Zbysko! They lock up and the crowd chants PROFANITY! Sammy beats down MOX! Sammy takes a Lariat like DBS! @Matt D would probably note that Sammy is wrestling to MOX because MOX is the new Stan Hansen- but then Sammy hits a Tope Con Hilo after trading shots with MOX. Sammy channeling Takeshi Ono, the wiry little fucker from BattlARTS, is really great. Sammy is going for the five star match and MOX might supply it as the beat the fuck out of each other in picture in picture. Guevara takes the crazy ass bump on his head on the apron. Sammy fucking rules. Sammy sells BIG on the top of the turnbuckle and then MOX RegalPlexes him to the mat. Sammy's trunks channel Dragon Lee's trunks and the world gets a heapin' helpin' of Sammy's buttcheek! Cutter by Sammy FOR TWO! MOX decides to OPT to KILL SAMMY! That's almost it until Sammy hits a Spanish Fly FOR TWO! This match is fucking GREAT! Sammy takes a full rotation after MOX catches him at the top and suplexes him to the mat. TAY MELO COMES IN LOWBLOWS MOX! SAMMY IS GONNA STEAL IT! FOR TWO! Regal explaining how ascend your testicles is solid gold. Sammy misses a Swanton and MOX covers FOR TWO! HARLOTS! THEY ARE SLATTERNLY! Sammy kicks MOX in the head! MOX counters out of the Go To Hell and gits a Death Rider! FOR THE WIN! Sammy was fucking awesome in that match. That match was fucking great. BattlARTS Sammy is my new favorite Sammy. MJF is upset! Will there be ruckus backstage! He shoots on Jon Moxley! Stokely Hathaway is his best friend! This is leading to MJF versus MOX so that will be good. Until then, I guess we have to put up with this endless talking shit. This is like Edge on RAW. If this was RAW, I would have fast forwarded through this. Oh wait! I got six minutes of fast forwardness left! Thank GOD. I guess MJF is ratings so you can watch while I fast forward. He's good in the ring so I look forward to that. It's Jungle Boy versus Jay Lethal. MAAAAN, Dynamite is so much easier to watch with JR doing Rampage. Lethal is fucking great in the ring and he is always in the right place. SATNAM PROTECTS LETHAL! HE IS VERY TALL! Sanjay Dutt is fun as a more hyperactive Jim Cornette. He needs something to hit people with. You know, like a tennis racket or something. Maybe a Jai alai wicker cesta. While are in picture in picture, Jay Lethal beats on our babyface, getting the crowd to get behind his STRUGGLE to escape the veteran wiliness and evil offense of Jay Lethal! Jungle Boy is a budding Ricky Streamboat so let's how this live crowd in Albany gets behind him, and they DO. Jungle Boy CHANNELS Steamboat by chopping Lethal and goes into a flying elbow! If only he hit a two handed chop! Lethal goes for a LETHAL INJECTION and JB counters with a decent Lariat and very nice Brainbuster! JB is the American Konosuke Takeshita but he doesn't hit stuff as precisely as Takeshita. JB sells the lower back and Lethal concentrates on it - as Lethal hits second rope Russian Leg Sweep! SWEET Tope by Lethal! TOPROPE ELBOW DROP FOR TWO! SNARETRAP! Great fucking counter by JB back into the Snaretrap for the win. That match was really fucking good. HEY! DANHAUSEN vs ETHAN PAGE! RAMPAGE IS GOING TO RULE! It's Powerhouse Hobbs! Will Matt DeMartino pull the upset? And a Spinebuster says, "No, there will be no upset." WARDLOW! WARDLOW! Ricky Starks is WAAAY OVER in ALBANY! I guess we aren't getting Wardlow versus Hobbs yet. It's PENTA! It's Rey Fenix! It's Shane Strickland! It's Keith Lee! PENTA and Strickland are awesome in together! Strickland and Rey Fenix are even AWESOMER in the ring together! Keith Lee tags in and he doesn't play to the crowd because he is trying to catch up with the heelishness of Swerve. This match is strange, Lee is our Face/Heel is Peril while we wallow in picture in picture! Swerve tags in and we get Rey Fenix to be our PROPER Face in Peril. Strickland is so fucking awesome cutting off the ring. Lee throwing Fenix from outside the ring to break up a pin was fucking great. WHOA! KEITH LEE TAKES A CANADIAN DESTROYER! THIS MATCH IS FUCKING INSANE! Keith Lee then fucking CRUSHES Penta with a Jackhammer for the win! That match was fucking great. Orange Cassidy heats up his feud with PAC. Serena Deeb! From OAKTON! D!M!D! ATHENA, THE BEST WRESTLER IN AEW! TONI STORM! This match should totally rule. Oh man, Deeb and Storm should wrestle forever. Oh man, Deeb and Athena should wrestle forever! As we head to picture in picture, Deeb is mangling the knee of Athena. Athena assumes the role of our face in peril! Deeb and Britt Baker are a fun heel tagteam. They beat the crud out of Athena as the crowd gets behind her STRUGGLE to ESCAPE the cranky heel offense of Deeb and DMD! Oh man, Athena lays it in against Deeb, A bunch of stuff happens and Athena is COMPLETELY AWESOME! REBEL DISTRACTS THE REF! DMD HOLDS A CHAIR! DEEB DRIVES STORMS HEAD INTO IT! DEEB PINS STORM! Postmatch, Athena attacks DMd and Deeb! DMD Is going to hit Storm with a chair! JAMIE HAYTER MAKES THE SAVE! Or does she? SHE ATTACKS STORM! SHE YELLS AT DMD! HAYTER HATES EVERYONE! That was fucking awesome. Put the fucking strap on Athena. It's Jericho! It's Danielson! Danielson beats on Jericho early, I'm guessing Jericho vs Moxley would have the most blood. Danielson and MOX would actually have a lot of blood. Man, Jericho is taking an assbeating like a CHAMP. Jericho dropkicks and Silver King Moonsaults to offense! And THIS match is fucking great. DOUBLE CROSS BODY! I first saw when Brian Pillman wrestled Marcus Bagwell back in 1994. GREAT Frankensteiner from the top by Danielson. CATTLE MUTILATION! Man, Danielson is lighting up Jericho. This match is fucking great. Danielson sells the ankle and Jericho makes a GREAT face when he realizes he suddenlhy has an advantage. Jericho is fucking awesome mangling the ankle of Danielson. Danielson is AWESOME selling the ankle ion the Walls Of Jericho. JERICHO TAPS! That match was fucking GREAT. JESUS CHRIST, WHAT A NIGHT OF WRESTLING! AEW RULES THE ENTIRE FUCKING MOTHERFUCKING FUCKING WORLD.

At this point, they should start Dynamite with an homage to the opening of Rashomon and have some random-selected wrestlers telling each other overlapping/conflicting stories of the chain of events that led to Nick Jackson getting KTFO'd.

So apparently if (and only if) I use Firefox as the browser on my older tablet I can post pictures. Hooray! I will now post too many pictures! Start of the party: : End of the party: (Cooger's mask-free face blurred out): Meeting Yuka, who also got a mask: Yoshiki the promoter: : MMA guy Tetsu Kondo: . Dotonbori Pro wrestlers Kinron and Koyama: Back to work! I will prob. post several more in a few hours.

Wild that another famous wresting Ace is also probably going to lose their office job for not keeping their mouth off of employees.

JESUS CHRIST! That Tag Title Match would be like 8 stars. Shane Strickland is so fucking great as Tully Blanchard. Anthony Bowen was fucking AWESOME selling like Ricky Morton. Keith Lee was great as Barry Windham. Man, that was fucking old school Southern tag wrestling in the most classic sense- and it was five Black dudes in the ring. Strickland had to be the one milking the crowd for ultimate reaction because I don't know if Bowen or Caster are experienced enough to pull that off. That was an INSANE amount of heat. Evil Lee/Strickland is going to be a joy forever and makes a match against FTR (before eventually putting the Acclaimed over) seem that much better. That was motherfucking GREAT.

Shawn Spears character works if you imagine he's MJF's coke dealer

Garcia vs Yuta, baby. They have every incentive to go for that Kip Allen Frey best match of the night bonus. Put the company on your shoulders and shoot for the 5.25 inflation star rating special, you bastard heroes. These two jerks wrestled for an hour in front of a small crowd in a scorching hot building for glory and a title most people have never heard of and the right to say that they did it. And Garcia has wrestled the best going since then and Yuta has become a whole new man forged in fire and blood. They are tomorrow today and they will carry all of our hopes forward, a shining beacon in this dark night.

This morning running errands, I got a mental image of this shoot fight with Punk swinging wildly (like his UFC fight) at the Bucks while Matt threw superkicks while slapping his thigh and Nick flipping needlessly off a table and it made me giggle.

BTW Matt McCarthy said Colt is doing fine with money and could probably buy his mom a house. In case anyone was worried. My guess is Colt shares an account with his mom to help her out, but it’s nobody’s business and Punk is a dick.

Me: "Please let 2022 be the year that gets me back into modern wrestling. I want to have multiple tabs open to keep up with the latest discussion about the graps because it's so enthralling." **the index finger on the mystical monkey's paw curls** Me: "Aw, come on. Okay, let me specify: I am not talking about executives being pushed out of the company they've run for fifty years. I want my interest to be raised by the wrestlers themselves." **the middle finger on the mystical monkey's paw curls** Me: "Man, fuck you."

Regarding Black, look guys, you know what sucks? Having any kind of back injury. You can barely walk, let alone wrestle, and the solutions for it are absolute dogshit. Want to do a bunch of physical therapy that may or may not work? Want to go under the knife and risk something worse happening? And maybe those aren't even options if it's muscle related. You what sucks even more? Having depression and a back injury. Back injuries by themselves are demoralizing because they take a basic thing away from you, walking and lifting and just standing up right. Having depression on top of it just compounds the issue. And the dude makes his living off of wrestling, which just makes everything even worse. People just need to let the dude do his vague posts on his Tumblr or whatever the fuck without jumping to all of this speculation, which probably isn't helping the guy.

JAS needs to steal the belt on a bullshit win and then go all-in on changing it to the Sports Entertainment Rules title. Hog Pen matches. Punjabi Prison. Tuxedo matches. Match can't end until a guy is rolled up on a lame distraction via entrance music. All that.

Meanwhile JR is just redass angry and incredulous that this is being handled by a woman in the legal department instead of having the boys figure this out kumite style like The By Gawd Cowboy would have done.

The Investigation: You're all thin skinned shit disturbers of varying degrees. Stop being cute on YouTube and in Promos. Take the suspension Tony gave you and make money off it, and stop doing shooty shit in the first place. There, solved, pay me $25,000 Tony.

Give Jeff Cobb a night stick and some aviators and change his name to Jeff Cobb County

Hello my name is Kevin, I have been a wrestling fan for 31 years and I am currently being worked by AEW.

It's really hard to come off as the biggest herb in a situation you aren't even involved with, so kudos to Bobby Fish for pulling it off.

I will sacrifice Omega, Hangman and the Bucks if it means we get to keep CM Punk in pro wrestling. Come at me, haterrrrrs.

If this is a work, it’s working. I’m siding with the Young Bucks, for fucks sake…

It occurred to me when Samoa Joe came out that he's the television champion of a promotion that has no television which is maybe why he hasn't been on television

Hear me out! While Moxley goes on vacation while champion, AEW can hold a tournament for an interim champion. Great idea, right?

Here comes the science.

As someone who has been a manager at a Target, I'm going to go ahead and say that I don't believe there are 10 professional wrestlers in earth who could successfully manage a Target. CM Punk is probably the worst possible Target manager. It's a legitimately hard job, and most of it is being able to build interpersonal relationships.

Man, he must have seen some shit, in that case!

God, I hope my boss doesn't ask me why I've been less productive this week at work. "Well, you see, there was a pro wrestling show on Sunday and afterwards, they held a press conference..."

If they're head of legal for the Jaguars, this may not be that crazy of a situation to them.

Saw a few people running with "the gripebomb."

It’s cool to read Punk won his first real fight tho

Re: the media scrum, why is Colt Cabana having a shared bank account with his mother a bad thing? Maybe Colt's mother is disabled. It's not uncommon. That whole thing was none of our business and was something especially prickish that I think a lot of people might miss.

I think people are really overinflating the impact of the ROH stuff. It's given them a couple of prop belts to use on shows to add some extra stakes at times. It helped cement Yuta being over. It gave FTR something on top of the AAA and NJPW belts as they're kept out of the top top of the scene due to whatever else Tony wants to do there. They spent something like 2-3 weeks building up a PPV after Forbidden door, with a lot of that on Dark (Pure title stuff) or Elevation (Martinez/Deeb). Almost no talent has come in from ROH specifically (Gresham had what, two matches on Rampage? Blake Christian gets some Dark matches. Cheeseburger was on Elevation once?). Martinez had a bunch of defenses on Elevation. The footprint has been absolutely tiny. Minuscule. It's not Jim Crockett overextending himself with dead territories that were geographically far away from his core and adding an extra ten wrestlers and salaries and a bunch of TV he had to cover. It's been one PPV with two weeks build and a way for him to sprinkle some extra stakes on things he'd probably want to do anyway. The biggest issue is that the PPV (which everyone seemed to really like!) came right after Forbidden Door so even though most of the build was limited to Rampage/Dark/Elevation, it was a month, month and a half with less focus. BUT! That was right at the moment where they had the worst injuries so it was a good way to paper over things with some extra/outside talent for a little bit. It actually helped to put a bandaid on things. Sorry, but what is anyone even talking about here?

PUNK! Autograph my Baby!

You know how The Beatles needed Billy Preston in the studio to be more productive towards the end because they all liked him so much that they were too embarrassed to fight with each other in front of him? I feel like if Takeshita had been at All Out shit could’ve gone down differently.

My wife decided that we're going to Chicago for Thanksgiving to see Dynamite, so who am I to argue? I'm a little nervous about trying to wrangle her wheelchair at the show but it's worth it to see live wrestling for the first time in 20+ years.

I made it through work OK yesterday but fell asleep immediately once I was done. No hangover yesterday, either! Got some nice messages from party hosts and attendees, apparently good times were had by all. I can post pictures on the site using Firefox, but I can't make paragraph breaks (?) So this'll be a wall of text followed by a(nother) bunch of (random) pictures. I'm gonna include a picture of Spel Delfin, cuz it illustrates the wrestling thing that was on my mind at the party. In that as much as Osaka Pro was a pro wrestling happy Camelot that I got to be part of there have been rifts and splits even in Osaka Pro's history. Some people there still harbour hard feelings toward Delfin. My friend Cooger/Kuuga split from the promotion. Camelots don't last forever. We are lucky if we get to experience their brief flourishing in person. Why am I thinking a lot about that this week in particular? Who knows. Also: Fuck CM Punk. But nothing is better than the atmosphere at a Kuuga party. It was a beautiful day and a beautiful park (Hamdera Koen, in Osaka). I got to see many friends that due to covid I haven't seen for over three years. And I got to make at least three new friends all of whom I will exchange big joyful greetings with the next time we meet. Maybe in December. It is very much an "if you are Cooger's friend then you are my friend" situation. I may very well be the only gaijin many of the 34 atendees and half a dozen hosts generally interact with. Maybe me and Quiet Storm. My Japanese is still the shits considering how long I have been here. Makes no difference. Everyone is so patient with me. 5 hours of non-stop drinking and eating and shooting the shit. Too much laughter. Many hugs and fist-bumps. I hope everyone has situations like this in their life. I remain utterly grateful that I can be part of this. What a gift. Speaking of: Oh boy is it hard to see while wearing that mask! I cannot believe Kuuga does his senton atomicos and other crazy stuff while visually impaired to that extent. Anything below knee level is basically invisible. While making my way to the convenience store to help with buying ice cream to be shared at the party, like everything everybody brought or bought was shared, I literally could not tell the difference between the mowed grass and the high grass until the high grass started tickling my shins. Did I wear the mask on the hour-plus train ride home? You know I did. I also wore it to the supermarket and the convenience store. I passed by an older man who was holding hands with (presumably) his tiny granddaughter. I almost plowed into her because I could barely see. Tragedy was avoided at the last moment. We both stopped. He whispered to the little girl. She bowed deeply and said "konnichiwa." I returned the courtesy. We all smiled and moved on.

I think when most people talk about weeping tears of joy it means more than when I talk about it. Because I cry a happy tear or two about twice a month, on average. Because my life is awesome. Last time I actually wept for joy was in Jan or Feb of 2019, coming home on the train from the Shinnenkai (start of the year party) with Cooger/Kuuga/Asian Cooger/Cougar etc etc and our many mutual friends. I had to bury my face in a towel. I was howling with joy. I was also hilariously drunk. Last time I wept with sadness was unexpectedly hearing Ol' 55 while riding the train. I bet I have cried hard on trains more than most people (three times). And I also drank hard and non-stop for over five hours today. So I might get vulgar, telling today's tale. Today - drunk as I was (very) - it was just a couple of tears. That's more usual, for me. But. Fuckity fucking fuck, listen to this: Cooger gave me one of his old masks. It is mine now. I am, forevermore and officially, The Gaijin Cooger now. A nice young lady named Yuka, who was one of maybe half a dozen people at the BBQ with whom I did not already have a connection (but with whom I am now inextricably connected forever) also got one. A mask, that is. fucking fuckity fuck it fucking sucks that I can't post pictures on this site any more. Oh boy do I have some nice pictures from the puroresu party. With Cooger, with my old friend Kenji, with Yoshiki the promoter who hooked me up with tix to Big Japan and to Jaguar Yokota's joshi promotion with MMA promoter Tetsu Kondo who very nearly convinced me to take one last submission grappling match a few years back... with old friends and indie wrestlers, hanging out and cooking and laughing and so on. If Natch or Octo or someone wants to post pics from my Facebook, feel free. Some folks like seeing those. I will post a bunch. I am Gaijin Cooger! Holy fucking hell am I happy right now.

Fightful:

I said what I said before but just imagine being Garcia today. Hometown. Career opponent. Title on the line. Just a couple of years ago in a life threatening car accident. In the middle of an angle with Jericho and Danielson, probably with a Jericho match ahead of you. Company that gave you all this on fire and you in one of the only announced matches and the one that was used to carry the town. Oh yeah, and it just happens to be your 24th birthday.

Colt was the like 10th most important member of Dark Order. He was the absolute epitome of dead weight that could be let go. It's show business not show friendship. You don't need to keep someone around who isn't adding to your product. He's solid, and he gets good reactions for a lot of his fun comedy spots. But he is certainly not someone I'd consider "talented and popular". He was a background extra at best, stuck in a role forever due to being in a slow burn angle with Brodie Lee during his passing. The angle never got to a conclusion so he was stuck as a lackey for Dark Order forever. Stu was far more talented and popular and he's been gone for a year and it hasn't really affected anything. Colt not being around now hasn't affected anything. It is what it is. The optics of the Punk thing got him an ROH contract he frankly doesn't deserve. He's not in the position to complain. And why in the world does it matter he "pioneered" indy merch? That's commendable and goes a long way to explain why he has so many friends. But why should TK and AEW be beholden to him for that? Colt Cabana didn't invent the idea of selling t-shirts. Weird perspective.

So the guy whose username is "Coach", wants us to believe this is all real? Hmmmm.... suspicious.

Punk scarfing pastry while talking mad shit... As Dean tends to say, AEW rules the motherfucking world.