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I don’t have some great story about meeting Jay or anything like that. I do have that first year of ROH shows on VHS and the Jay v. Mark match from the Boston show when they were 17 and 16 really stood out way back then. But one time I was up late watching a Briscoes match I downloaded off daily motion or something and didn’t finish it, so I paused it and went to bed. Next day I had to go to jail docket and grabbed my laptop and went as usual. There was a DWI video that wasn’t working on the computer provided in the back room so I brought out my laptop because back then it had a dvd player. So here I am in the back room of the courtroom of the jail, filled with prosecutors and defense attorneys, and I open my laptop and there’s Mark Briscoe in his redneck Kung Fu pose and Jay Briscoe shouting a string of obscenities at full volume and that’s how I was outed as a wrestling fan to the legal community. RIP.

That's why we hired you!

My wife brought my laptop so I can now watch DYNAMITE on QUESTIONABLE Chinese websites. I am attached to all kinds of things- ivs, monitors, blood pressure thingy- so this may turn out odd- this, the last day of my big toe. A bit of advice, get correct footwear when you start walking. I got a blister, it got infected, I am in hell. Enough about DEAN's hilarious travails of middle age, LET'S WATCH WRESTLING! The Action Andretti/ Ricky Starks vs Chris Jericho/ Sammy Guevara match was a harbinger for what could becomea lifelong feud between Starks, Andretti, Sammy and Garcia. I love the dynamic. Starks and Andretti are building up babyface steam and Garcia and Sammy are perfecting becoming total HEAT MACHINES. You could see Jericho glowing with pride on the apron for having set up this feud. Jericho crying while being hoisted on his proteges' shoulders was one of the finest visuals in modern day wrestling. That was some quality pro wrestling. I'm trying not cry in the hospital but AEW is making it hard with the commemoration of Jay Brisco. The House Of Black theme song sounds like Mastodon! That's how out of it I am! Darby Allin is on a very large roll and he is now an INTERNATIONAL superstar! I await Kitomiya vs Darby Allin for the GBH title. Buddy Matthews is the best wrestler in AEW who doesn't get enough TV time. He is like Brodie King but slicker. Buddy Mathews should be in the Takeshita/Bandido/Jack Perry rising star category. This match is fucking great. It was one half Allin/King and one half Allin/Kushida- in that was an early complete assbeating but moves into more elaborate style of assbeating. The Cannonball into the corner was fucking gnarly. The Toprope Scorpion Deathdrop needs a little work. Overall, I WANT MORE BUDDY MATTHEWS! ETHAN PAGE DANCES ON TV! FINALLY! A nation turns it's eyes at you! This match was cool because the average wisdom is that Jack Perry will work the body of the match and he tags in Hook who demolishes everyone and that's that. The conventional wisdom is that Matt Hardy would wrestle as reluctant heel. EN LIEU! Jack Perry works the body of the match AND finishes the match with his great submission. AND Matt Hardy wrestles TOTAL heel, not by cheating but by beating the hell out Perry using great old school heel tactics. Matt Hardy IS Dennis Condrey. Ethan Page is such a GREAT flaming asshole. We are truly blessed. Brian Cage is a good luchadore. He is a good version of Cibernetico. Here he has an old school US pro style psychology match assuming the roll of someone Terry Funk would hire to take out Cowboy Bob Ellis. It was a good match but not the best style match for Cage, because he is so much more than basic power moves. Danielson wanted to do a match where was the overwhelmed babyface underdog and have Cage be Kain. It was good, just different- he went all angle this week and not all workrate. KONOSUKE TAKESHITA! Saves AmDrag! Machine vs Lard Lad will RULE! JESUS CHRIST, RUBY SOHO AND TONI STORM BEAT THE LIVING DOGSHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER! WAS THIS THE STIFFEST MATCH IN THE HISTORY OF AEW WOMEN'S WRESTLING? I can't think of one. Toni Storm is GREAT heel. Ruby Soho is GREAT babyface. DOUBLE DANGEROUS BACKDROPS! SOHO! SOHO! SOHO! GREATEST WRECKEM EVER! TONI STORM! TONI STORM! I totally LOVED that they used a five second distraction to replace a crappy three way into the stiffest match until we finally get Jamie Hayter vs Athena. BRAVO, LADIES! Jesus! JAMIE HAYTER vs EMI! THAT may be stiffest match. That main event was emotional. Man. AEW rules the motherfucking world.

Matt Taven is awesome.

Operating a motor vehicle is an extremely serious privilege that all too many people do not take with the gravity it deserves. I drive for a living, I have been coast to coast and back and everywhere in between. For the sake of all that is good, and the sake of your friends and families, always wear your seat belts and treat driving with the respect and attention deserves. Please.

We need Danielson/Jarrett with JJ in full-on Memphis bullshit mode. Danielson as Lawler might be a Danielson we’ve never seen.

RIP Leaping Lanny. Around 2005-6 I was on the phone talking to someone when I got a beep on the other line. I excused myself to check it out and when I did I was stunned. ”Hello, this is Lanny Poffo for VISA.” There was no mistaking that voice. Me: “Lanny Poffo… the fucking wrestler?” Once a Masshole always a Masshole. He chuckled a bit and said “Wellllll… I’m over 50 now so I don’t leap so high anymore and I work for VISA so I’m not a Genius. But yes sir, it’s me”. I was just tripping out on how convinced I was it was him because THAT VOICE! He later mentioned working for VISA on some podcast a few years later. We talked for 10 minutes or so about wrestling. Never once mentioned Macho. Then when we said our goodbyes. He thanked me for remembering him and never even tried to sell me a credit card. Peace brother.

of all the times to bring back the wrestling manager who reads the Wall Street Journal daily

My BJJ coach has this story about the time he was stealing apples from an orchard attended to by these gigantic Samoans. They gently told him to drop the apples and he told them to fuck off. They started chasing him and not only were they faster than him despite weighing 400+ pounds each they had better stamina and when he had to stop to catch his breath they caught him and beat him with some bamboo reeds or something for making them chase him. Then they brought him back to the orchard, put him to work and they all drank beers afterwards. He never fucked with a Samoan after that, though.

The people who don't like the MJF "Run the gauntlet" gimmick must just ignore the level of awesome we get with each one. It's the schtick that has given us weekly Danielson matches, Wardlow powerbombing "Big Bill" and got us Nick Gage on live TV with a pizza cutter. I hope he never steps using it.

The path with MJF is to use truths. I'd be much more interested in hearing something like: "Takeshita, huh? Everyone's real excited about you. They were excited about Muta too. Excited about Kabuki. Excited about Liger. Excited about Nakamura. Guess what none of them ever did? They never won the big one. Never won the championship here in a major US wrestling promotion like I did. And you'll never do it." Then knock the fans for blindly liking Japanese wrestling and put over the fact he's the champ and that means him and his style of wrestling is the best and they're all sheep, etc. etc.. There are ways to be edgy, to play to history and insider-ness, and still make it work kayfabe.

Well, thanks guys. I happen to think DVDVR has become the best place on the net to talk about this stuff once again, so I'm glad for the company and conversation.

Shit dude, that's nothing. When I was 10 I made my dad buy me a copy of Fraggle Rock magazine bc I had a crush on the one hippie, trippy muppet. That he did that for me and did not enroll me in military school is a credit to that late great man.

"I've worked countless bears in territories all over the world over the years, all of whom went out of their way to thank me afterwards for a great match, and allowing them to get home safely to their bear family. That was always something I took great pride in. You walk into any locker room, and you look up on the wall, and no matter which bear your name is listed next to, you know what you're going to get. I don't think any wrestler could say the same if they saw their name next to Bill Goldberg at the Summerslam for example"

This is a bad take. No disrespect meant, but Joe is not washed / injury prone. He's been in AEW for almost a year now. He's only taken time off for movie projects. He's had a lot of high end, high impact matches. And he's looked great in my opinion. This is one of those instances where the way AEW books plays to certain talent's strengths. Joe doesn't need to be in 52 TV matches a year. He loses his aura if he's out there doing 50-50 15 minute TV matches every week. It also saves his body. As for the booking, again respectfully disagree. I find it one of the best things they've done. Darby got an awesome moment in his hometown. We got 6 or 7 really awesome TNT Title matches, counting the 2 with Joe. It got Darby back on our screens. It gave Wardlow time to heal up. It gave the him & Joe story time to breathe. It gave Joe a reason to get a mean streak and level up a notch. Now when Wardlow beats him at the ppv for it (if that's the way they go), he is better off than he was when Joe initially won the title. It's booking that made everyone involved better off. Darby may have lost the title, but his character can't be an underdog if he never loses. Not everyone can nor should be booked like Super Cena. It's perfectly within the bonds of that character for his body to give out from accumulated damage from all his psycho stunts. He loses nothing losing it back to Joe. And finally, the world title is always going to have long reigns (by way of the title being defended so rarely). It makes total sense to have a secondary title contrast that by changing a lot, because it's defended a lot more.

Live look at DEAN: “I love this British shit!!”

The "wrestler in decline" is a legend that's clearly still capable of producing high-end stuff, is VERY over, has historically been presented as difficult-to-overcome badass, and has been protected in AEW to the tune of now having only lost two matches. Everything's fine, sorry if his winning the TV belt somehow diminishes Juice and Buddy's sacrifices in your eyes. Why go to "the trouble?" A fighting babyface champion going down as a result of attrition from several great title defenses isn't that confusing, and pretty much reinforces Darby's whole thing.

RAMPAGE! I love that Wheeler is wrestling this like Pure Rules match! Hangman Page is the first to punch someone in the face. Hangman hits his offense and it's all good! They did the great camera trick of Wheeler Yuta flying into the shot and it looks all awesome and and shit! Tiger Driver by Hangman! Yuta has a hot comeback! NICE Toprope DEATH VALLEY DRIVER! By Hangman! FOR TWO! Hangman does the famous BattlARTS finish but with German Suplexes instead of Dragon Suplex! This match is great! Yuta revereses into his own German Suplexes and THEN YUTA HITS A GERMAN ON THE APRON and then HITS A FUCKING RELEASED GERMAN ON THE FLOOR! This match is fucking GREAT. Yuta counters the Buckshot Lariat! Hangman hits a ROARING ELBOW! HANGMAN HITS A BUCKSHOT LARIAT! Hangman pulls him up to hit him with a Death Rider! HELL YEAH! THAT WAS QUALITY WRESTLING! MOX/ Hangman 3 is going to rock! It's Jeff Jarrett, Jay Lethal and Satnam Singh! It's Chuck Taylor, Trent Barretta and Danhausen! The fuckery begins early as Jeff Jarrett just HARVESTS heel heat! Jarrett hits TOTAL Memphis punches. Danhausen is fun beating on Jarrett. Satnum holds up his end by forcing Trent into the sympathetic babyface role. In picture in picture, Jarrett hits a totally sweet Murdoch Elbow off the apron. I love that Satnam is getting more ringtime. Chuck Taylor is OVER in Kentucky! Satnam and Danhausen and THEN all KINDS of insanity breaks loose. Danhausen grabs a guitar! Satnam gets his neck rung across the top rope THREE times! Sonjay Dutt gets knocked out by Orange Cassidy! The goofiest POSSIBLE finish is what they shoot for- as Jeff Jarrett hits Danhausen with his own UKULELI! Well, that was a hoot! And Taylor isn't big enough to get the hometown win, but he did get a bunch of his stuff in. That was great! I can completely get into Dustin Rhodes versus Shane Strickland. Ruby Soho is starting her own stable, I'm guessing- as AEW Women goes total STARDOM. EMI is flanked by STEAMPUNK MEI SURUGA and BAILLI AKKI. OH MAN! This match is SO FUCKING AWESOME. Jamie is selling EVERYTHING like total fucking DEATH. EMI is fucking awesome, laying it in but she is in with Jamie Hayter so it would actually be hilarious if someone tried to work light with her. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! HAYTER IS THE STIFFEST WRESTLER ON EARTH! EMI is blood red about the chest and she is fucking AWESOME on her last comeback. This is the GUNTHER SHEAMUS of the new year. This is a TOTAL Akira Hokuto match. HOLY SHIT! THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME. HOLY FUCK DOES AEW RULE THE MOTHERFUCKING WORLD!

Sometimes I think I would rather watch wrestlers doing silly shit like this than the actual wrestling. What a bunch of good people.

The name on the contract does say Khan. However the contract reads... Great-O-Khan.

Internet tape trader who started a sleaze thread goes on to nearly literally and legally own nearly all wrestling footage is one hell of a story.

Bring back the confused react.

This match is fucking GREAT! I give MOX's Crimson Mask a .4 Ruby. This is just GIGANTIC BUMP AFTER GIGANTIC BUMP! They should just run this every week. I'm waiting for a nurse so this could be a bit simplistic. GREAT NEARFALLS especially MOX kicking out of the Buckshot Lariat. HA! I missed the finish! That was great! Awesome! It's those twirly dudes. Then the ASS BOYS! It's KONOSUKE TAKESHITA! It's BRIAN CAGE! THIS is an 80s Power Match! Takeshita is making Cage look like a killer. It is power move after power move. Take follows a BEAUTIFUL LARIAT with a MOTHERFUCKING EVEREST GERMAN SUPLEX. (Talking to nurse while watching.) Soooo THAT was a Five Star match because AmDrag/Cage got four stars and that was twice as good as the AmDrag match. (Nurse finishes checking my vitals. Annnd THEY'RE GOOD!) This Thatcher match was great because it ALL starts with Thatcher trying to make it easier for MJF in the Ironman Match then it morphs into a Thatcher going for the Fujiwara Armbar and AmDrag trying to figure out away win. You know, professional wrestling. That was great! KONOSUKE TAKESHITA stops MJF from wrecking AmDrag! NEW MATCH FOR NEXT WEEK! AWESOME! BRYAN DANIELSON VS RUSH NEXT WEEK! THAT should be very violent. I imagine Jade Cargill crushes Red Velvet like a bug. Red does get in some stuff and lays it in so it's pretty good. Jade beats on Red during picture in picture so Red Velvet gets a second comeback? Eh, a little one! Kiera Hogan shows up! RED VELVET with the VISUAL PIN! That was waaaay better than what I thought it was going to be. WILD! And here we are, IT's our main event. I assuming there will be some booking in this. Darby is fucking AWESOME, killing himself hitting a Tope on Joe who is holding up a table. Darby Allin continues to be Cactus Jack and I'm trying to figure out where Joe got busted open. Joe goes total VADER. JESUS, Joe just throws Allin to the floor. MUSCLE BUSTER on the exposed ring! NEW CHAMPION! Darby Allin is so fucking great. Postmatch, WARDLOW beats on SECURITY! That was a LOT of pro wrestling! AEW TRULY RULES THE MOTHERFUKCIN WORLD!

Saturday Reflections: JESUS CHRIST! THAT MATCH WAS FUCKING PSYCHOTIC! I was noticing that THREE of Hayter's best title matches were against Riho, Hikaru Shida and Emi Sakura. I wonder if the are just going to bring in Arisa Nakajima and Ryo Mizunami who can work Hayter's style or are they going to just start beat the living hell out of US Indie/ NXT graduates. I mean, I'm for either. Actually, I seems like the organic insane stiffness started when Toni Storm arrived, she brought it out of Hayter, Athena decided to just start beating the fuck out of people and now Ruby Soho is moving towards a hardcore wrestling-based stiffness. Willow Nightingale is way more into a monstrous Power Offense than I EVER saw her use in the indies. And I'm thinking that this is all the work of Madison Rayne? It's so cool. Jamie Hayter is the best thing to happen to US Pro Wrestling in forever.

I was going to write a navel-gazing post about how, unlike certain of my peers (of a certain age, length of following wrestling, and prolific-ness in being out there), because of my lack of a social media presence and not being a part of the indy scene and not seeking it out due to other aspects of my life, I don't have any real personal one-on-one connections with wrestlers. I wasn't chatting with anyone on Prodigy. I wasn't hanging out in the DVDVR chat room with anyone. There are no DMs for them to be up in. I'm not discussing old French footage with Chris Hero or Ricky Starks or whoever. Yet despite that, because of the nature of the AEW locker room and the amount of interviews done, and how open everyone is, I feel pretty sympathetic towards almost everyone there as human beings. Even the ones I don't care for in ring. I want nothing but good things in life for Adam Cole and Adam Page. I'm not going to say I feel like I know any of them, because I don't, but you hit a certain age and you pay enough attention to human beings and you pick up on things. In this day and age with how out there everyone is, it's hard not to. So that would have been a ten paragraph post and I just shoved it into one. Point being, the post-match at the end of the show was touching, from Sonjay being out there first to hug Jay to Mark getting hugged by Daniels and RUSH, etc., but what got me was the music looping and Joe, who was just, just about to get a hug, leaning in as Mark turned away from him and giving that wry smile of his, since he knew Mark was going to get his pop with "Reach for the Sky Boy" and the two belts and all the emotion, and just Joe sort of living and being present in that moment.

I think her arsenal is the perfect size already.

Well it's awesome that he can have a perfect Puroresu style match with a great purveyor of Strong Style and the NEXT WEEK have a great Lucha Libre mat match with a guy who turned down the WWE because he didn't want to move his children from Mexico. What a fucking awesome run.

Oh Man! HANGMAN! MOX! X! BILLY ZOOM! They beat the crap out of each other. MOX takes it to the mat. SWEET GERMAN SUPLEX by Mox! And another! Hangman bumps big to the floor into the rail! GNARLY Lariat by Hangman! Well, this match is fucking GREAT. KING KONG LARIAT for TWO! During picture in picture, MOX kicks Hangman in the head several times. MOX applies the Stepover Toehold Front Facelock! He switches to Sleeper Hold and HAngman counters with a Vertical Suplex and an EMORMOUS Lariat! They return to beating the living dogshit out of each other. Yeah. This match is motherfucking great. ORIHARA MOONSAULT by Hangman! DEATHRIDER! FOR TWO! BULLDOG CHOKE! But not really sunk in! PILEDRIVER! FOR ONE! MOX flips off the COWBOY SHIT crowd! MOX is so awesome. Hangman hits the Big Bang Theory! They return to beating the living fuck out of each other. LARIAT! BUCKSHOT LARIAT! HANGMAN WINS! HANGMAN WINS! Well, that was fucking great. Ah, MOX GOES ON VACATION! FINALLY! AWESOME! ADAM COLE! HE'S BACK! YES! PUT THE BELTS ON HIM! What a GREAT promo! PUT EVERY BELT ON HIM! Big Bill and Lee Moriarty are taking on Jack Perry and Hook! I would think this will booked six ways to Sunday since this is of the TNAcclaimed vs Jeff Jarrett/Jay Lethal match ilk. Perry and Lee go TOTAL WAHOO! Hook and Lee are fun in the ring together! FUCKERY BY HATHAWAY! Oh no! Big Bill tags in! Bill and Lee are a great with the heel double teaming. Lee and Bill CUT OFF THE RING in picture in picture! Lee makes with the chinlock! Keylock Lift by Perry! The crowd becomes UNGLUED when Big Bill and Hook stare each other down! Hook EVENTUALLY T-Bone Tazplexes Big Bill! SNARETRAP ON LEE! That was fun. KONOSUKE TAKESHITA! MJF? Awesome! He channels Rick Rude! That was fun! BRYAN DANIELSON! BLUE THUNDER TAKEOVER! They go TOTAL WAHOO! TakeshitaLine! GREAT set up for the BLUE THUNDER BOMB! JESUS! DOUBLE WAHOO by Cinnebon Boy! TWO MORE TIMES! Jesus! It's Wahoo versus Wahoo! Picture in picture TREE OF WOE! TOPROPE LARIAT by TAKESHITA! FOR TWO! BRAINBUSTER ON THE FLOOR by SOUP! LaBelle Lock but Soup hits the ropes! They OPT to beat the living fuck out of other to set up a FUCKING ENORMOUS LARIAT by KONOSUKE TAKESHITA! EVEREST GERMAN SUPLEX FOR TWO! KNEE BY AMDRAG FOR TWO! REGAL STRETCH FOR THE WIN! Jesus Christ, that was fucking awesome. Saraya! TONI STORM! JAMIE motherfucking HAYTER! Britt Baker! REBA! REBA! REBA! Hayter is OVER in Los Angeles! Toni Storm got the memo from Toni Storm that we are laying it in now. Jamie Hayter REALLY got the memo! VARIATION ON WRECKED EM! Saraya lays it in! Hayter is making Saraya look great! Baker tags in after Storm TOTALLY turns heel. This match is fucking great! In a the Acclaimed/Jarrett/Lethal way. MAN! Storm and Hayter need a rematch yesterday. Saraya looks pretty good in this. WRECKED EM in the corner by Storm! TOPROPE AIR RAID CRASH by Baker FOR TWO! GREAT GERMAN SUPLEX by Storm! Hikaru Shida throws in the kendo stick and Baker hits Storm with it! Hayter CRUSHES Storm with a Short Lariat and gets the pin! It's weird that THIS was either the third or fourth best match tonight because it was really good. Everybody needs to turn already! DADDY MAGIC'S NIPPLES ARE HARD BECAUSE JAKE HAGAR POWERBOMBED RICKY STARKS THROUGH A TABLE! Hey! It's Ricky Starks! It's Action Andretti! It's an overall confusing batch of promos! It's like Rin and Stimpy- I WANT TO SAY THE LOUD WORDS! I'm excited about the JAS beating the shit out of Action Andretti. I assume they start with Garcia and then Sammy. KENNY IS SPORTIN THE IWGP US TITLE! The crowd is MOLTEN! This is a WHOLE BUNCHA STUFF! They CRUSH Kenny's nether regions with a ladder in picture in picture! WACKY STUFF OFF LADDERS! Kenny takes a Poison Rana like PSYCHO! V TRIGGER ONTO ALEX (who trained at the Hart Dungeon)! ONE WING ANGEL OFF THE LADDER! Jesus, Kenny and the Bucks need to buy Rey Fenix a What-A-Burger. Rey was the all-star of that series! On to losing these belts to United Empire! I'm glad that it's only 7 o'clock in California, because I can't IMAGINE not being completely fried by the end of ALL THAT. Possibly the best episode of Dynamite EVER? Close if not. AEW REALLY MOTHERFUCKING RULES THE MOTHERFUCKING WORLD.

In the right topic now: Thank you, Don Callis. Fuck Glenn Gilbertti/Disco Inferno.

Fuck.

AI tech put to good use.

I still hold out hope for Zack Sabre Jr as the final dude. The best Gotch/ Volk Han style guys from two feuding Japanese companies in back to back weeks is the nerdiest booking in the history of pro wrestling. I mean, THAT'S WHY THIS BOARD HIRED TONY KHAN TO RUN AEW!

Not a clunker in the lot even the "worst" match (Danielson vs Cage) was more than passable. We are so spoiled I'll say it for our hospitalized leader. AEW rules the motherfucking universe.

It's a fucking travesty that it took one of the Briscoes literally dying for them to make TV. Watching the main, it'd be easy to get the two guys mixed up and go "wait, which one's brother died?" Lethal was clearly a mess and had bawled his eyes out before he even went through the curtain while Mark was all BOY HOWDY REACH FOR THE SKY HYUK HYUK HYUK like nothing had even happened. Mark is a pro beyond pros to flip that switch and go out there for a match like that... and what a match it was. For all the shit Lethal gets, he's way better than a ton of folks will ever give him credit for - you think guys like Mark and Ric F'N Flair would give him a position like this if he couldn't deliver the goods upon request? Come on.

1) My life sure does not suck. 2) If your life sucks: Sorry! I am not trying to rub it in that my life aggressively does NOT suck. My intention is to share the joy. 3) 30 Rock taught us to never go to a second location with a hippie. Allow me to suggest that you should ALWAYS go to a second location with a Japanese professional wrestler. Hang on. I gotta switch browsers to post pictures. I'll spoiler them. Edit: A certain 8-tentacled poster did a nice thing and lightened up the pic of Dotonbori Pro wrestler Captain Amemura (who, rumour has it, really likes Takoyaki).

We have to get Bandido/Takeshita now. What a killer Revolution opener that would be. Why? Why not?

I had an ablation on my heart this morning. They put me under, went up through my groin to my heart with catheters, gave me adrenaline to induce arrhythmia and then burned the spots where it appeared. Unexpectedly I had a second spot, when most people only have one, so they zapped that one too. The hole(s) they left hurt so fuckin’ much and it hurts to even walk really, but the hard and scary parts are over with. Now I just have to heal up. From what the doctor says, the ablation supposedly fixes this issue so no more 260 beats per minute attacks. Bedridden for two days, and oh thank god for streaming services and my SteamDeck.

This I believe was brought up to compare to Goldberg who could not follow the same signals.

STREET FIGHT! STREET FIGHT! STREET FIGHT! We want BLOOD! and I assume that Tay Melo will deliver the blood! BUT FIRST! ROCK HARD! DARBY ALLIN! Juice DID tower over all the remaining Dark Order when he berated them for asking him to join! Darby does an extended Headlock! Allin then OPTS to totally fucking kill himself! Allin is so much fun. Robinson needs to bring in the Bullet Club to heat everything up. He throws some good punches. Robinson takes the SUWA Dropkick like a fucking KING! Oh yeah, I forgot that Robinson is pretty great at making folks look like a million bucks. ROCK HARD hits some slick looking offense. Three Sentons FOR TWO! Allin bounces off a Rib Breaker like a FREAK! Robinson hits a Cannonball to NOWHERE! I loved the WAHOO chops to drive Allin down the toprope to set up a BEAUTIFUL Lariat by Juice. JACKHAMMER for TWO! GREAT counter to a Toprope Brainbuster into a Scorpion Deathdrop! COFFIN DROP! That was good. Not as good as Allin/Mike Bennett, but still good. Juice Robinson looked good. Allin and Orange Cassidy are neck and neck in the longest string of good matches. The Gunns ruin the Acclaim's big moment! OR DO THEY? Austin Gunn is wearing tiny boybriefs! CHEEKS! Malakai Black has an awesome new helmet thing! Eddie Kingston is OVER in Los Angeles. The story behind this match is kinda stupid, but it is pro wrestling. Kingston and Malakai face each other! The crowd rises up as Kingston and Black try to decapitate each other and they both duck, sit down and stare at each other! Pro wrestling is also AWESOME. In picture in picture, the House of Black crushes Eddie and Ortiz! Black looks fucking GREAT in this. We go to an old school commercial break and come back to Brodie King fucking CRUSHING Kingston in the corner with a Cannonball! High Angle Tequila Sunrise Suplex by Kingston! EXPLOIDER by Kingston! Dangerous Backdrop by Kingston after Black kicks him in the face! There is a giant batch of BOOKING! Black kicks the fudge out of Kingston! Then! MINDGAMES! I assume this will all lead up to Kingston versus Brodie King eventually. Jeff Jarrett wins RAMPAGE AGAIN! All this to set up the Best Friends versus the unnamed stable of Jeff Jarrett, Jay Lethal, Sonjay Dutt and Satnam Singh! So this episode is kinda evening out the perfection of Wednesday's Dynamite. I mean, the wrestling is perfectly fine, but the FOURTH best match Wednesday had Jamie motherfucking Hayter in it. AWESOME! Both tag teams are dressed in matching outfits like in THE WARRIORS! Oh man, is RUBY GONNA BLADE?!?! YES!!!! THis is fucking AWESOME! They do the NecroButcher sitting and hitting each other spot in picture in picture! Ruby and Tay lay it in! Willow and Ruby take an ass beating! Tay Melo is so fucking great lately. OH MAN! IS ANNA GONNA BLADE?!? YESS! DEATH VALLEY DRIVER TO THE APRON by WILLOW on ANNA! MAN! Ruby bladed like a fucking CHAMP! Willow Powerbombs Anna DIRECTLY ON THE FLOOR FROM THE RAMP! Tay with the GOTCH STYLE POWERBOMB THROUGH THE TABLE! Tay with the THUMB TACKS! DESTINATION UNKNOWN INTO THE TACKS! That was fucking AWESOME. JESUS CHRIST, RUBY SOHO IS FUCKING HARDCORE! Tay Melo is so fucking AWESOME. Anna Jay took the two craziest bumps. That was fucking great. AEW RULES THE MOTHERFUCKING WORLD!

Then. Now. fuck it.

It must have felt so good for Jamie Hayter to help showcase the incredible skills of Emi Sakura in such a definitive way. In turn, Emi helps make a further convincing case that Hayter should keep holding onto the title for a long time. A brutal but beautiful match to watch, in that sense. Plus, Mei Suruga! Everybody wins!

Bryan Danielson vs. Timothy Thatcher on national television in one week’s time. Year made. Reach for the skies.

Hot dog! Danielson vs Bandido had what I love about wrestling. Struggling for position where everything feels earned, strikes that make slapping noises, and charismatic likable taunting.

That was a freaking amazing 2 hours of pro wres! Danielson/Bandido was EPIC. So fucking good. Darby/Kushida was pretty amazing too. I forgot how good Kushida is. And Darby was Darby. They clicked so well. Everything else was at least really fun. Glad to see Top Flight get a big win. I'm a sucker for Jarrett & Co. Interested to see where they are going with Saraya and Toni. I almost expected Ruby to turn when she came out for the save lol. Is it me or did Sting's makeup look...weird? The black paint around his face that framed the white paint looked almost distractingly messy me lol. I can't wait to see Takeshita and Bandido take on more of the AEW roster. Imagine Bandido vs Omega! Killer show. Thanks TK!

It almost works!

A coke fueled vision. The necrophilia. The miscarriage angles. The hand babies. Three hours of Art Donovan commentary. Multiple implied incest storylines. Constantly bringing back Jimmy Snuka years after he murdered a woman. Pulling JR's own head out of his ass. What would we have done without him? I really hope that if somehow WWE comes to an end, they do the prudent thing and play a montage of all of these things set to Simple Minds' "Don't You (Forget About Me)".