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2013: UPCOMING MOVIES/CASTING/RUMORS/ETC


Dolfan in NYC

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I accepted that a big fucking teddy bear could shoot a laser crossbow & fly the Millennium Falcon.

 

I accepted that a fucking DeLorean could travel to the future, the Wild West era, and 1985.

 

I can accept that Travolta and Cage can switch faces, their body type differences would be viewed as "negligible," and that the only way to tell them apart ever is through their blood type, not their fingerprints.

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Face/Off was on TNT this past weekend and I ended up watching it.  I haven't seen the movie for years, but I still really enjoyed it.  John Woo almost falls into self-parody and the "science" is totally ridiculous, but it's still a fun movie.  The Blu-ray is always dirt cheap so I might have to pick it up.

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I accepted that a big fucking teddy bear could shoot a laser crossbow & fly the Millennium Falcon.

 

I accepted that a fucking DeLorean could travel to the future, the Wild West era, and 1985.

 

I can accept that Travolta and Cage can switch faces, their body type differences would be viewed as "negligible," and that the only way to tell them apart ever is through their blood type, not their fingerprints.

 

Now you can accept me hating the shit out of this putrid movie.

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Face/Off is just stupid fun. Of course it's not a 5 star film. It's not trying to be. But, on the subject of John Travolta, you've got Michael, The General's Daughter, Domestic Disturbance, Be Cool... personally, I really liked Savages and From Paris with Love, but I might be alone in that regard. Lonely Hearts is good, too. None of these movies are going to remembered as classics or anything, but they aren't bad either. "Perfectly Acceptable (Insert Genre Here) Movies" are what he usually does, but then sometimes he does shit like Old Dogs, Wild Hogs, etc. Just cash-grab movies like the Happy Madison crew make now, but with older leads.

 

True story, though... Battlefield Earth is one of the only movies I actually can't sit through. It joins Kung-Pow and Atlas Shrugged, Pt. I on that list.

 

My custom title should read HUGE TRAVOLTA FAN, obviously. :P

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Everyone's expectations for 21 Jump Street should have been low enough that they were easily surpassed. As far as Face/Off, I've read so many other asinine movie defenses on this board that I don't think Mr. Woo needs a public defendant here. It's gold, John. GOLD.

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Wild Hogs was tremendous.

I liked that movie a lot.  It's not high-brow or deep or anything but it's funny and it's got Marisa Tomei looking oh-so-fine.  What's not to love?

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Everything in the commercials for THE SECRET LIFE OF WALTER MITTY, not just the images of the fantasies, but even the music, looks like it was designed to be like a 2-hour cell phone commercial.

 

It's all the same whimsical "embrace life and TOUCH THE WORLD" stuff that people do in like a Microsoft Surface or Verizon commercial, with the same "Ooooh..Aaaaaaahhhhh....Ooooooooh" music that makes me think the whole thing has been transformed into a 2-hour long piece of pure torture.  It looks, ironically like it is going to be the least imaginative movie about imagination imaginable. 

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For some reason I am really intrigued by the fact that Walter Mitty is only PG

It doesn't seem to be being advertised as a kid's movie but I get this weird sense that being PG - it will end up being so

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Face/Off always reminded me of the fake movie trailers they played before Tropic Thunder. You could imagine Tugg Speedman talking it up to Lazurus and Portnoy.

 

"So, like, FBI scientists, using science, figure out a way to switch my face with that of...the man who murdered my son!" 

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I've never really understood Hollywood's decades-long obsession with bringing Walter Mitty to the screen, and it makes even less sense now in 2013, when the actual story isn't nearly the ubiquitous staple of middle school English classes that it used to be. Who is this movie even for?

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I've never really understood Hollywood's decades-long obsession with bringing Walter Mitty to the screen, and it makes even less sense now in 2013, when the actual story isn't nearly the ubiquitous staple of middle school English classes that it used to be. Who is this movie even for?

 

The thing is, they clearly don't want to bring Walter Mitty to the screen.  They want to bring a movie about a guy who daydreams, but who learns to embrace life through the love of a good woman..

 

...and somehow gets sent on a real magical quest.

 

That's a really familiar movie, isn't it?  It seems like they've already made it a bunch of times.  It's really easy to write too, I'll bet.  Way easier than actually finding a way to sell the actual story as a movie.  That would take some chops.

 

But, fuck that.  There's no 3rd act in Mitty, brah!  Where's the arc!!!  Get me the guy that made Mr Popper's Penguin's work!

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