EVA

This is *literally* a Michael Scott quote

You had to be there.

I am 100% in on the theory that Drew has the green light from the office to push Punk as far as possible, by any means necessary, to test if he’ll snap again.

Wiki is being weirdly slow, then, because it was clearly and unequivocally announce last night.

Not only was the chair gimmicked, but also notice how expertly Mark Briscoe pulled the shot at the last second. Zero follow through on his swing.

Perry’s whole thing since coming back as the Scapegoat has been defiance. Of course he’s not gonna quit. It didn’t come off as babyface-ish to me, rather just another example of his petulance.

Bucks/Acclaimed seems pretty certain. Though it seems they might add FTR to make it a three way.

Say what you will about the Suzuki formula match, but when it works, it REALLY works.

Punk reunited with Cena at the PPV and immediately got the number of Cena’s hair guy.

With the exception of making fun of the blatant Olive Garden product placement, I avoided commenting on season 5 here because most people here seemed to enjoy it, and I’m not *always* trying to be the guy who shows up to spit in people’s Never Ending Soup (or Salad) and Breadsticks. Long story short: I saw it through to the end and did NOT like it. At all. Hang with me now. I’m gonna say some mean stuff and then spin it into a positive. I started up season 6 today and I finally reached my limit and tapped out after 2 episodes. It’s just reheating the same conflicts over and over again, to diminishing returns. And, honestly, if it was just that with the kids and Daniel and Johnny, I’d probably let it play out in the background; that’s all become inane but its mostly inoffensive. But, my god, THE LORE and anything with Kreese at this point is just insufferable. I had memory holed his escape from prison in the season 5 finale and literally laughed out loud when I saw it in the recap. The vision quest with the cobra was the last straw for me. I’m alllllll the way out. Heck of an arc for this show. Two fantastic seasons, two seasons where you can tell it’s getting wobbly but the good still outweighs the bad, and then a two season descent into hell. THAT SAID…I’m actually glad the show has been allowed to go on long enough to devolve into tripe? Like, that doesn’t happen in the streaming age! There’s something to be appreciated about that. Netflix, especially, has a reputation for even canceling shows that are still going strong. It’s a joke in the industry that most shows—successful shows— don’t make it past two seasons there. This kind of long tail to a series feels like a relic from a bygone era of network TV, when they would turn a show upside down and shake it until every last nickel, dime, and audience member had fallen out of its pockets. It’s almost kind of heartwarming in a “nature is healing” kind of way—an algorithm-based, ruthlessly efficient tech company hanging their head and grimly returning to what the good folks at the Olive Garden have known all along: if you keep putting soup, salad, and breadsticks in front of people, those motherfuckers will get eaten. Here’s to 10 more seasons of Never Ending Karate Feud.

More in the LA Knight tier. He’s just fine in the ring. Will neither wow you nor embarrass himself and the business.

Ciampa was taller than him when they were trading blows last night. Granted, Fatu was squatting a bit to feed for him, but at best they’re the same height. And Ciampa isn’t close to 6 feet.

Jacob looked the same size as DIY last night. He can be his own thing, but the new Brock he ain’t never gonna be.

It’s funny that you asked this question yesterday and then last night on Smackdown, HHH ran with one of Vince’s favorite tropes: singles star single-handedly destroys a tag team. The tag champs, no less! I hope Fatu beats DIY in a handicap match next week.

ADMIT YOU JUST MADE “JAZMYN NIX” UP

I doubt Vaquer was ever seriously going to end up in AEW given that Rush is there. And I can’t blame her on that.

I figured Bron was losing here. There’s a LOT of early-ECW Rhino in how they’re booking him right now, and Rhino lost a lot more in those days than most people probably remember. He created a lot of chaos but was very gettable in a straight up match against top-tier guys.

That main event finish…woof. Have to assume they’re either clearing the runway for Trick to get called up to the main roster later this year or they realized he’s not even close to being top guy level and backed off the push. Time will tell which. Either way, that finish was not a strong vote of confidence for Page, who basically slipped on a banana peel and won. Hard to think of a weaker way to start a title reign. You have to assume he’s a short-term transitional champ.

Wrestlers who are actually gonna “surprise” debut never do these glib social media teases. It’s always just clout chasers who can’t get booked. Which is Donovan Dickhead to a “T.”

I think they’re building to a gore match with Deonna/Rosa.

Damn, Mistico teaming with the Lucha Bria seems like the kind of thing that could’ve drawn some fucking money if properly promoted for more than 4 days.

Can’t imagine AEW will welcome Donovan Dickhead.

They were never going to come close to matching last year’s Forbidden Door hype with Okada/Danielson and Omega/Ospreay, but I feel like this year’s build on the New Japan side of things has been kind of depressing. They just have zero stars in America at this point. Not a single NJPW guy got a pop aside from Tana calling himself Scissor Ace. And Buffalo was a regular stop on the old ROH/NJPW tours, so this was theoretically a crowd that should know and care about these guys. 6 or 7 years ago, Hiromu seemed like a guy destined to be a huge crossover star in the States, and tonight the crowd thought he was just a guy. Like I said, very depressing stuff! The show will be good, as usual, but it might be time to rethink the FD concept moving forward. The CMLL crew has way more juice at this point. Let’s do it out West and get Mistico in the main event next year.

No, he does the Jeff Hardy swan dive and then rotates over to finish in a splash. 450 degrees. Also, I’m pretty sure it’s Leon Slater from TNA who does it, not Je’Von Evans?

Swerving into the exploitation allegations with the Wyatts was unexpected and a welcome surprise. I don’t know that I have any confidence in their ability to navigate the nuances of such a storyline (essentially having their cake and eating it too), but I’m a smidge more interested in this Wyatt business than I was before.