The Marvel Things That Aren't "Marvel" Things

[TheVileOne]

I disagree with Kermode a lot, but I do enjoy his reviews and review style overall.  Can't deny his intelligence and eloquence either.  

 

The way he ripped into Entourage in particular was hilarious.

 

More fun with Deadpool

 

[Casey]

I mean, I'm not going to watch this movie one way or another, but worse than Howard the Duck? Wow and damn.

[odessasteps]

I'm only seeing as part of a MST like day out with a podcast get together.

[The Natural]

I'll wait for DVD. Hopefully the library shall get it in.

 

What about a Fantastic Four film set in:

 

An early time period…

 

The 60s with Hank Pym Ant-Man, the Wasp and Agent Carter.

 

Go up decade by decade like X-Men: First Class, X-Men: Days of Future Past, X-Men: Apocalypse.

 

Present day.

[odessasteps]

Part of the FF problem is that there will likely not be a live action film as good as the Incredibles for doing an FF template movie.

[The Natural]

 

Edited August 7, 2015 by The Natural

[AxB]

It does seem like, rather than look at what people thought was wrong with the '05 film and then not do that, they've just looked at 2005 and said 'Everyone loved Batman Begins for being dark and gritty, and hated Fantastic Four because it was light and comedic* ... so we need to do a dark and gritty FF movie'. 

 

But let's not place all the blame on Josh Trank. Fox are known for their interventionistic approach to films, and for tightening up schedules to the point where it's all but impossible to make a good movie. I know everyone likes to point the finger at Marvel studios for messing with directors, but they've never done an X-Men 3. Fox have done an X-Men 3 and a Fant4stic. And also, they are owned by Rupert Murdoch**.

 

* nb: it was a kids film. Not an adult's film. My son (born 2004) loved it for years. Might not like it any more, but they grow up, y'know?

 

** He's a cunt.

[TheVileOne]

I think Trank wanted to make Chronicle 2 not Fantastic Four.  He should've just made that movie instead of trying to mold Fantastic Four into this super serious sci-fi body horror David Cronenberg thing.

[Eivion]

It does seem like, rather than look at what people thought was wrong with the '05 film and then not do that, they've just looked at 2005 and said 'Everyone loved Batman Begins for being dark and gritty, and hated Fantastic Four because it was light and comedic* ... so we need to do a dark and gritty FF movie'. 

 

But let's not place all the blame on Josh Trank. Fox are known for their interventionistic approach to films, and for tightening up schedules to the point where it's all but impossible to make a good movie. I know everyone likes to point the finger at Marvel studios for messing with directors, but they've never done an X-Men 3. Fox have done an X-Men 3 and a Fant4stic. And also, they are owned by Rupert Murdoch**.

 

* nb: it was a kids film. Not an adult's film. My son (born 2004) loved it for years. Might not like it any more, but they grow up, y'know?

 

** He's a cunt.

I can blame Fox for hiring Trank, but most of this is still likely on him. Its why Kinsberg got him fired from the Star Wars spin-off film he was hired for.

 

I think Trank wanted to make Chronicle 2 not Fantastic Four.  He should've just made that movie instead of trying to mold Fantastic Four into this super serious sci-fi body horror David Cronenberg thing.

I'm pretty sure at some he even admitted Chronicle 2 was film he really wanted make back when he was announced as the director for this one. I sort of knew then this film was likely fucked when he was announced as he didn't really even try to hide it.

[Big Fresh]

Just read this tidbit about Fantastic Four that everyone will surely love:

""It's clobbering time" is something Ben Grimm's abusive brother used to say before he slapped him about."

Wow.....

That's not true. It could've been true at some point, but it's not in the movie.

Not for nothing, but I just read IGN's review it also says this.

[The Natural]

Hard task to rebuild Fantastic Four, more so after the release of this one. Marvel Studios/MCU track record is with a few exceptions, top notch, hope they can fix it. If need be Fantastic Four Future Foundation!

[Playa Shunna Ver 3.0]

http://comicbook.com/2015/08/06/dredd-producer-adi-shankar-wants-to-remake-fantastic-four/

[Craig H]

The problem with Fantastic Four is that the Fantastic Four in general suck. It's about as dorky as you get for a top Marvel property and they're ultra lame, aside from Doom. Stop trying to make a movie version of them happen. The Incredibles already demolished any fucking feeble attempt anyone else is going to make and that movie came out 11 goddamn years ago. Brad Bird figured out how to make that concept work and everyone else is just going to keep fucking it up.

[Bustronaut]

Craig, you have some terrible opinions about pop culture.

[Bustronaut]

TheVileOne, what's the rip-off gag?

[Brysynner]

Looking at the reaction and reading about what FOX's plans are. The only way F4 finds it way back to Marvel is if less people see it than bought the comic

[Ace]

Part of the problem is everyone who makes FF seems to believe it has to be the origin story, when the origin isn't the thing that drives the team. They aren't anothe Marvel Super Team. They're the First Family. They need to do what Morrison did with All Star Superman. He literally laid out Superman's origin in 3 panels with 6 words. When the inevitable remake comes, just stick the origin story as a montage over opening credits. You don't need 2 hours to introduce the FF. You don't need 2 hours to introduce Doctor Doom. It just bogs the first film down to the point that nobody cares to see a sequel.

[The Z]

Hard task to rebuild Fantastic Four, more so after the release of this one. Marvel Studios/MCU track record is with a few exceptions, top notch, hope they can fix it. If need be Fantastic Four Future Foundation!

 

I think it can still be fixed. I agree, they'll have to wait at least five years, possibly even ten, though.

Just go in the complete opposite direction this one went. I think the family aspect has always been what distanced the FF the most from all the other superhero teams, so make it cheesy and family friendly. Maybe you could even establish a FF, where Sue and Reed are already married and Franklin and Valeria are already around.

[J.T.]

I think it just would've been more hard, gritty realistic Cronenberg body horror type of stuff.  Like the horror of getting these powers and what it would do to your mind psychologically.  Also smart kids getting bullied.

 

That movie would suck and I would probably hate Josh Trank for putting that on the screen.  I could see wrapping The Thing in that sort of angst but even he embraced his powers and his appearance when Dr. Doom threatened the world. 

 

Ben needs to be about mother fucking clobberin' time when the shit hits the fan, not lamenting his rocky exterior that just happens to make him nearly invulnerable and one of the physically strongest beings alive.

 

This is the sort of dark and gritty Nolaneque deal wrapped with edutainment that terrifies me about the Black Panther movie.  

 

I don't need the Black Panther to turn into a veiled sermon on the evils of colonialist expansionism and how Africa still suffers culturally from centuries of social and economic exploitation.  I already know that it is horrible situation because I am an informed person and I stay informed.  You can use the whole old world colonialist thought aspect as one of the reasons why we should hate Klaw, but don't make that the focus of the film.

 

The Black Panther needs to be about how a well educated, selfless, and honorable African man of regal bearing and genius intellect punched a guy made of solidified sound right in the face and saved the world.  T'Challa is a king in every sense of the word and he deserves to be treated like one.  He is one of the best of us, just like Superman.

[TheVileOne]

TheVileOne, what's the rip-off gag?

 

Military gives them that new base.  They are joking about a name.  Thing is all like, "this is fantastic."  Reed Richards gets a light bulb, "What did you say?!  That's it's we're the F---" Smash cut to credits.

[Bustronaut]

U.G.H.

[J.T.]

 

TheVileOne, what's the rip-off gag?

 

Military gives them that new base.  They are joking about a name.  Thing is all like, "this is fantastic."  Reed Richards gets a light bulb, "What did you say?!  That's it's we're the F---" Smash cut to credits.

 

 

I hate that so much and love you like a brother for keeping me from spending money and wasting time in order to see that scene.

[EVA]

TheVileOne, what's the rip-off gag?

 

Military gives them that new base.  They are joking about a name.  Thing is all like, "this is fantastic."  Reed Richards gets a light bulb, "What did you say?!  That's it's we're the F---" Smash cut to credits.

To be fair, it wasn't a good gag in AGE OF ULTRON either. Too cute by more than half.

[Ligerbusa]

 

TheVileOne, what's the rip-off gag?

 

Military gives them that new base.  They are joking about a name.  Thing is all like, "this is fantastic."  Reed Richards gets a light bulb, "What did you say?!  That's it's we're the F---" Smash cut to credits.

 

 

Isn't that close to, "How about Su---" from Man of Steel? I don't remember the Avengers gag.

[Jingus]

Craig, you have some terrible opinions about pop culture.

And I've noticed you have a terrible habit of saying contrarian "lol u suck" bullshit short posts like that without further elaborating on why you disagree. I think Craig had a point, the F4 aren't exactly the cool kids of the Marvel universe in the first place.

 

I don't need the Black Panther to turn into a veiled sermon on the evils of colonialist expansionism and how Africa still suffers culturally from centuries of social and economic exploitation.  I already know that it is horrible situation because I am an informed person and I stay informed.  You can use the whole old world colonialist thought aspect as one of the reasons why we should hate Klaw, but don't make that the focus of the film.

Yeah, you're informed. I'm semi-informed; I've read a Chinua Achebe novel and Heart of Darkness and listened to a whole buncha NPR, and I still couldn't give you a complete coherent thesis on all the things that European imperialism did to fuck up the entire continent of Africa. How many other people are that informed? We live in a country where, within my time as a heel manager on indy shows, I once heard a woman in the crowd screech "Why don't ya go back to Africa, ya fuckin' nigger" at the BABYFACE in a match. We live in a country so damn dumb and divisive that people can't get it through their thick skulls why flying a Confederate flag is not a good idea. That's why big obvious messages keep getting shoved into Hollywood movies, because that's one of the few places that some uneducated citizens might encounter those ideas at all. Which of course does suck for all of us in the audience who don't NEED to be preached about things like how razing the local landscape and stealing all their oil unobtanium, but it's the same reason why wrestlers cut their promos slowly (and so do most preachers). They're waiting for the slow kids in the audience to catch up.

And if anyone wants to hear a big heapin' helping of Josh Trank's opinions right from the horse's mouth, he did a stupidly long interview with Kevin Smith on his "Fatman on Batman" podcast, which had to be split into FOUR parts; the first three are available right now. I haven't listened because, frankly, I don't care.