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Raw 2-24-14


MGFanJay

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Greggulator's optimism is like all new internet celebrities.  It is embraced and beloved, shows up all over your facebook wall for a day, people offer it jobs and take up a collection for it, then people start to turn on it and wonder why it's so fucking special...no one is talking about all my shit....no one is sending money to me....let's look into its past and see if it really deserves all this adulation.  36 hours later it is reviled and Piers Morgan is calling it scum.

 

Basically it's a homeless guy on youtube with a super deep voice.

 

It's an old lady bus monitor being bullied.

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Personally, I love the Wyatts, but I'm a guy who thinks Waylon Mercy and Mordecai are missed opportunities, so this mixture of backwoods creepiness and strange mysticism is right up my alley as far as gimmicks go. 

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I don't want to speak for Greggulator because I've never talked to the guy over anything other than public posts but his tastes seem to run pretty lock step with mine.  In regards to matches and workers and everything, he (like myself) takes character into consideration and puts a lot of emphasis on that plot point.  Eric Rowan should limit himself to certain moves and mannerisms because he's supposed to be a swamp monster.  And so he builds his matches around that.  He shouldn't be using martial arts kicks or trading arm drags.  He uses bear hugs and grinds his forearms into people and steps on their heads.  His high spot which seems to be a fallaway slam lately still has a sack-of-potatoes quality about it that makes it work.  Is he a great worker?  Not yet.  But he's building himself up the right way.  And while Rowan may not be in the March Madness competition, I look more forward to his stuff than guys who are 'better' but don't seem to know who they are as characters.  Like I don't know who Big E is so I don't know what he should be doing.

 

EDIT: Urgh,  I'm so sorry I added to the Greggulator discussion now that I saw where it went. 

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Guys Guys Guys

 

You are all missing the most important thing from this week.

FSW has turned his back on Mark Henry

 

 

I actually only give a fuck about Bryan, Hunter, Brock and Taker these days. 

 

For shame sir. For shame.

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Ok...my brief recap of a show that felt 8 weeks long.

 

I'm old, I saw Hogan's schtick the first time. It's still goofy and stupid but, hey, Green Bay has to cheer for something, right? (Seriously Green Bay wrestling fans, what the fuck...)

 

Batista...just fucking go away. The shit-fest the Superdome is going to take on Orton and "the Animal" is going to be brutal. It's stunning to me that a huge entertainment entity like WWE was this absolutely out of touch with the market place. They have made a sandwich with goat turd filling and will now eat it in front of millions.

 

Cesaro and Big E throwing bombs at each other bah gawd was beautiful. More of that please.

 

If HHH goes over Bryan at WM, the shit storm will start early. Certainly even the Cerebral Hammer of Kings will know better than to put himself over, right...RIGHT?

 

Christian and Sheamus entertained the shit out of me. Christian, you and I are the same age. Regardless of your alarming skin shade, please consider me "a peep."

 

Seeing Bray and Roman come out and go through the steps in front of an awful crowd in a cold spot was hard to watch. I enjoy so much of what is going on with the Shield and the Wyatt's that this was off-putting if nothing else. However, Rollins and later Ambrose coming to the rescue made me smile again. It reminded me of the heel/heel feud back in WCCW between the Freedbirds and Devastation Inc. Two groups of ass kickers just trying to cripple each other because that's what heels do.

 

Flair was drunk...again...some more...

 

Taker's entrance is always cool despite the fact we could see it coming a mile away. Add to the spectacle the always awesome Brock and Paul E. and you have wrestling gold.

 

Other stuff happened that I didn't care about.

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Christian and Sheamus entertained the shit out of me. Christian, you and I are the same age. Regardless of your alarming skin shade, please consider me "a peep."

You know you're in a weird place when, after a match with Sheamus, it's YOUR skin tone being commented on...

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Not into Wyatts either. I just see some fat guy trying to hide his babyface with a terrible beard and shitty tattoos while doing the goddamn electric slide. Where's the subtlety?

I know everyone has already laid into you for having an opinion, but could you clarify just what it is you're talking about? These aren't real criticisms, like "the way he speaks takes me out of the moment, not what he is saying." What would you have him do differently, aside from lose weight, shave and laser off his tattoos?

 

 

 

TL;DR version: I don't care for this gimmick. I don't see any flexibility or longevity. I just see three guys with beards with clothing way too clean lookin' to be some backwoods jerk offs.

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Christian and Sheamus entertained the shit out of me. Christian, you and I are the same age. Regardless of your alarming skin shade, please consider me "a peep."

You know you're in a weird place when, after a match with Sheamus, it's YOUR skin tone being commented on...

 

Christian is a weird shade of light orange. It's not quite spray tan...not quite real. It's somewhere in between.

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Not into Wyatts either. I just see some fat guy trying to hide his babyface with a terrible beard and shitty tattoos while doing the goddamn electric slide. Where's the subtlety?

I know everyone has already laid into you for having an opinion, but could you clarify just what it is you're talking about? These aren't real criticisms, like "the way he speaks takes me out of the moment, not what he is saying." What would you have him do differently, aside from lose weight, shave and laser off his tattoos?

 

 

 

TL;DR version: I don't care for this gimmick. I don't see any flexibility or longevity. I just see three guys with beards with clothing way too clean lookin' to be some backwoods jerk offs.

 

 

Harper's tank top is supposedly the same one he wore in Chikara and has never been washed.

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Christian and Sheamus entertained the shit out of me. Christian, you and I are the same age. Regardless of your alarming skin shade, please consider me "a peep."

You know you're in a weird place when, after a match with Sheamus, it's YOUR skin tone being commented on...

 

Christian is a weird shade of light orange. It's not quite spray tan...not quite real. It's somewhere in between.

 

Sort of "apricot fruit leather-esque."

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things I enjoyed:

 

Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose's fired up babyface saves.  Seth Rollins doing Hardy-esque stuff and Ambrose's Lisa Simpson offense (I'm just going to throw punches at the air and if you get hit by it, it's your fault!) are aces.

 

Eric Rowan with a sensible single leg on John Cena instead of standing near him and clubbering.  That's a recipe for a Super Cena comeback, so why not yank on his leg and make him fall?

 

Cesaro and Big E. doing big strong moves to each other.  

 

Undertaker.

 

Things I did not enjoy:

 

Hogan.  I feel embarrassed to be a wrestling fan whenever I see old as hell Hogan do anything.  Yes, the 80s were great.  I enjoyed Hollywood Hogan, and I love the Rock v. Hogan match at Wrestlemania.  But everything after that?  BOO.

 

Bray Wyatt's mid promo chuckle.  He does it every time.  

 

two partners causing their partners a DQ for no reason.

 

Daniel Bryan v. Kane = Bryan gets another meaningless win on Raw with no buildup.  

 

Sheamus v. Christian = one of the things wrong with the WWE is the long, difficult match where the outcome is never in doubt.  No way Christian's winning this match.  I know it, you know it, the crowd knows it.  Then why have the long arduous match to come to the same conclusion?  This always happens.  Being in the tough match and coming up short on a meaningless Raw doesn't help anyone.  And it makes the guy who won look like a maroon because why is he having such a hard time with this loser who always loses?  

 

And Batista sucks.  

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Sheamus v. Christian = one of the things wrong with the WWE is the long, difficult match where the outcome is never in doubt.  No way Christian's winning this match.  I know it, you know it, the crowd knows it.  Then why have the long arduous match to come to the same conclusion?  This always happens.  Being in the tough match and coming up short on a meaningless Raw doesn't help anyone.  And it makes the guy who won look like a maroon because why is he having such a hard time with this loser who always loses?

They have those long matches because apparently they don't feel like putting multiple divas matches on Raw to pad out the time.

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Not into Wyatts either. I just see some fat guy trying to hide his babyface with a terrible beard and shitty tattoos while doing the goddamn electric slide. Where's the subtlety?

I know everyone has already laid into you for having an opinion, but could you clarify just what it is you're talking about? These aren't real criticisms, like "the way he speaks takes me out of the moment, not what he is saying." What would you have him do differently, aside from lose weight, shave and laser off his tattoos?

 

 

 

TL;DR version: I don't care for this gimmick. I don't see any flexibility or longevity. I just see three guys with beards with clothing way too clean lookin' to be some backwoods jerk offs.

 

And that prevents you from enjoying the matches happening? I mean does every gimmick need longevity? Can't we just have fun today?

 

Also, they may live in the backwoods but I think they still spend time in the WWE locker room. Maybe there's a washing machine/tumble dryer combo there. And I don't think Bray should have manky clothes, the other two perhaps but Bray is this charismatic preacher of the end times, I think he should wear clean shirts.

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