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I'm just showing people the correct way to feed

Taste the sarcasm

For you Jinder Mahal, the night you wrestled AJ Styles was the best match of your career. But for Styles, it was only Tuesday.

Photo from Morgan's election speech.

Did you come from two years ago to tell us?

Can you imagine being Triple H.. you grow up idolizing Ric Flair and mold much of your career after him. Then you become real life friends with your hero, travel the world and in the end it's a story of a guy trying to save his friend from drinking himself to death. Life is crazy.

I haven't said anything about this because basically I've been too freaked out by it... Make a long story short, a year ago X-rays showed a mass between Kathy's larynx and thyroid gland. It was pretty small and everything else looked fine so they said don't worry, we'll look at it again next year and see if there's any change... Fast forward a year and now it's "We need to get you in right away, the mass has more than doubled in size, we can do surgery next week." Next week was this morning. The docs kept dodging saying the "C Word", but kept saying things like "concerned about the rapid growth" , and so on. Anyway, I've been up all night, something that has become pretty routine over the last week or so, and her sisters came in at 5AM to take her to the hospital. I got the phone call about half an hour ago... At 9:38 AM surgeons finished the removal of a large BENIGN cyst. I'm fucking crying, I'm so happy right now. No follow-up needed, won't even be able to see the scar. No lasting effects, she'll sound like Janis Joplin for a couple of months, but I think that's kinda sexy, so no worries there.

Oh No.

I'm looking forward to "Cornette was right all along!" narrative.

Aww. I was expecting a Cavenario pic.

The worst spinoff show.

The good news is, if they get fired, there's a new indie in Canada that might be hiring. The bad news is they only pay in pizza with weird toppings.

Tour buses have drawn more heat than 80% of the roster over the past year.

If we left LaVar there, could LiAngelo go free? Asking for a friend.

RUN AWAY.

I immediately go to this which is oh-so-appropriate:

Regardless of the coattail riding, Hunter does always come off as a really good friend. He was still loyal to Shawn when he hit rock bottom too. I don't quite agree with the idea that Flair's love for wrestling ruined him. He's portrayed as directionless, impulsive, and desperate for attention before finding wrestling. There are plenty of stories of success warping someone and destroying them, but this is the story of someone with issues discovering they're really good at something and channeling their energy into it. Wrestling also gave him a lot of avenues to lead a wild lifestyle, but Richard Fliehr dock worker or car salesman would probably have led a similarly troubled life, just less ostentatiously in obscurity.

That's not the point of it. They're mentally deranged, they WANT that feeling, it's what gets them off. That's the entire purpose of fucking creeps like that. Similar to pedophiles, it's a creepy power and control thing psychologically. It's why the "gay/pedophile" garbage peddled by bigoted organizations is so infuriating and callous.

Holy shit, this movie was amazing. i'd put it easily in my top 3 Marvel movies. will need to come off my Thor high before i can properly rate it, tho. so much awesomeness in this. Korg stole every scene he was in. nobody mentioning "Pure Imagination" during Thor's hallway introduction scene is disappointing. i popped when i heard it.

You forgot the most important element...MERCH SALES.

I STILL WATCH PRO WRESTLING SAKURABA vs. SANO (Kingdom, 1997) This is a great primer match for shoot style noobs, as it effectively details how to mix shoot technique with pro wrestling psychology. There are lessons here that can be transferred to other styles of wrestling, which just goes to show you that no matter how you dress it up(lucha, hardcore, American Super Indy,) it's still pro wrestling. Let's start with the first thing you'll notice the point system gimmick. You start with five, every time you get knocked down or need to use the ropes to escape - you lose a point. As you can see, the opponent doesn't GAIN a point for knocking you down, you LOSE a point. So the graphic basically becomes a HEALTH BAR. Every time one of those bars drops off, the wrestler is sustaining damage and getting closer to defeat. Just like Street Fighter or Tekken or Cosmic Carnage for the five of us that had a Sega 32x. By the time Sakuraba is down three bars and Sano is at "full health" Sakuraba's ability to make a comeback seems daunting. So even if you don't speak Japanese or have any idea what the fuck is going on in the ring, you can see those bars going down and KNOW that it means someone is in trouble. By creating a visual cue for the audience you're also helping out the wrestlers. Many shoot style guys can be pretty stoic in their selling(not the two in this match) and matches were supposed to feel a little more real in their sudden ability to win. So with the point system you can cue the audience that they're hero need support, so he doesn't have to play to them for sympathy like a Ricky Morton or a Shawn Michaels would. Ring Work. What's really special about this match is how they express their offense so the audience can understand what's going on. Shoot style, particularly in grappling is a very tight visual. Two guys getting wrapped up on the ground and it can be difficult to figure who is winning and who is losing. Sano and Sakuraba do a great job of giving each other enough space so that every one knows who is on offense and who is on defense. Think of Terry Funk throwing a punch, and how he pulls his fist all the way back before launching it. That's not how any real fighter would throw a punch because his opponent would get the fuck out of the way by the time he came close. He does that so the people in the back can follow the action, and if they follow the action they INVEST in the action. Sano and Sakuraba basically work MMA style like Terry Funk throws punches. Watch around the 2 minute mark. They get up, PAUSE, Sakuraba puts Sano on the ground but Sano switches to the top. PAUSE. Audience catches up. Sano gives Sakuraba a lot of room in the guard. He gets to his feet and let's the audience see that he has options, but Sakuraba is effectively protecting himself. Sano gets back on his knees, gives Sakuraba space and places his arm so everyone can see it, and allows Sakuraba to try to sneak an armbar. Everything in this grappling sequence is spaced out and clear so that even non-MMA fans and non-wrestling fans can follow along. At the same time they're educating the audience so they can start spotting the moves during the pause. When Sano takes the back around 3:50 mark, he quietly places his arm under the chin and you can hear people murmuring and getting excited before he officially sinks in the choke. Wrestling in general could use more of that. I always see guys moving from one move to another and not expressing the impact of what they're doing to the audience. Not only does it allow the audience to invest, but when you make each move matter it makes it easier for the Face that's getting beat down to get sympathy. Anyway that's the match I watched today. I enjoyed it and it made me think about the elements I love about wrestling.

Except a few weeks ago they pulled Angle out of retirement, flew Styles halfway around the world and put HHH in The Shield to salvage live shows. That’s what makes this concerning. They usually don’t fuck around with international tours.

You apparently do not understand the new WWE. Ticket paying fans are meaningless. Social. Media. Engagement!!! Nobody cares about crowd size anymore. Now they will be on the 'not allowed to get over' list with everyone on the roster except for Reigns.

My pants have been added to the other side of the room

Now, Jonathan Hickman on the LSH is another story entirely.

The Yankees Troll-Fu is strong.

I wish I could go back in time and show this to people two years ago.

Boy does Jason Jordan stand out like a sore thumb in that photo

Why would Jericho need Vince's blessing? His contract ran out and he saw an opportunity to work a match in New Japan. Unless he said otherwise I see little reason for him to burn a bridge because of the cruise issue. And I think without NXT it led him to put on a better lineup outside of WWE so he wins anyway.

Only other time I can recall that happening was the Hardy thread

Kinda goes with the territory Flair lived the rockstar life and he knows he paid for it. I always figured Flair would go out like a John Entwhistle of The Who. In a hotel room somewhere with a hooker and a pile of cocaine.

The idea of AJ/Brock two years ago would have been almost a dream - but suplex city Brock is boring as shit. The Joe & Braun matches both sucked (good build, poor execution). Outside of the Goldberg match Brock has been diminishing to the point of Ziggler levels for me. We all know Jinder will win it back in India, that's obvious, but AJ getting his moment is pretty cool.

The Reid stuff was as brutal as I expected. I didn't need to hear the 911 call. I thought this was really well done and I could have watched a 3 hour documentary.

The Reid stuff. Man. That was incredibly hard.

Tonight on B Movie TV they showed THE REJUVENATOR (AKA REJUVENATRIX) (1988): You may have seen the VHS box back in the day: It seems like it was everywhere. This is a fantastic little gem. The mood/effects/campiness may not be as masterful as RE-ANIMATOR, but for an almost unknown movie made on a $230,000 budget (compared with RE-ANIMATOR'S $2 million) it is both engaging and witty and at times gross and creepy enough to be on anyone's list of genre favorites. Honestly, it should be a bigger cult movie than it is. It is basically a cross up of RE-ANIMATOR, A Hammer movie, Roger Corman's THE WASP WOMAN, and SUNSET BLVD. It's that last bit that makes all the difference, giving us characters that have depth in part because they are stolen from Billy Wilder. Imagine instead of hiring William Holden to write a movie for her, Norma Desmond (SUNSET BLVD.) hired Herbert West (RE-ANIMATOR) to make her young again. Imagine it works but the side effects turn her into a monster (THE WASP WOMAN) without constant infusions of a serum that is unstable and impossible to to satbilize without killing people for fresh bodies (every Hammer movie). Since the characters are all stolen from great writers, they are all great. The Sunset Blvd. angle makes the Norma Desmond character perfectly likable at first as first a bitter snarky old lady (played by the always hilarious Jessica Dublin from TROMA fame) and later a young naive manic fool (I also kind of retconned that the treatment made her deliriously euphoric explaining some of her sudden shifts of mood). The Dr. is both a tortured, belittled genius who is not respected, but also a vulnerable middle-aged man who is in love with the old bat and even more in love with her when she is young again and immediately reject balding doughy David Straithairn-lookin ass self. She even has an Eric Von Stroheim style servant who used to be "with her" and now is afraid that since he is still an old man and she is young again she will reject him. She doesn't and their relationship is quite lovely. None of them are outright evil. Just misguided and lost in their individual passions and they are all perfectly likable in their own ways. The jerky head Dr. guy who wants to shut the project down is deliciously played as well. His scenes antagonizing the lead Dr. come off like shoddy versions of Lee/Cushing. But a second rate Lee/Cushing scene is better than what one usually gets in something like this. What all this means is that all the inevitable down scenes in a super cheap movie are actually entertaining because the characters all have depth enough to hold your interest. The monster effects are in turns hilarious and gross/convincing. The most hilarious being an adorable rat muppet that is supposed to be a mosnter and the best being the first time the lead lady falls from young back into monster (in part because her voice is so scary and she sreams in a really terrifying way). But are always kept dissapointingly short. Budget seems to require she keeps monstering and then changing back and so things like a scene where she goes dancing and transforms on the dance floor which in a bigger budgeted movie could have been FRIGHT NIGHT level classic are just kind of quick and blurry. They're not quite good enough to qualify as Cronenberg body horror, but that is what they aspire to and for 320 grand...they're not bad And the ending is a bit of a let down in terms of size/scope. But overall, this is a lovely little piece of late 80s indie Lovecraftian goofiness that is filled with Hammer touches (lots of bubbling brains and nasty grave-robbers). It belongs at least up there with something like BASKET CASE or DOLLS if not at the level of RE-ANIMATOR. I give it a solid three homeless dudes about to get brain juice sucked by an old lady he saw in a movie 30 years ago who is now much younger but also a monster out of a possible three

Which of his 3 contracts has he been released from?

I was awestruck when I saw that Thor going to meet the Grandmaster was a parody of the Willy Wonka Tunnel of Terror. By the time I could attempt to explain it to my kid, the scene was over.

El Generico had an accident in Mexico and they had to be by his bedside?

There are no more mountains left for him to climb. He's held every title there is in the US, but guys like that retire poorly. If he's going to pass the proverbial torch, I'd rather see him hand it over to Bad Luck Fale in NJPW or Dijak in NXT rather than Roman fucking Reigns if I'm being honest with myself. If he joined BC, he'd be resident icon and revered elder. No way that Show would settle for Chase Owens stooge status. I would lose my mind if he was made a member of the Tokyo Pimp faction.

The part where he mentioned Flair not wanting to leave because of "trickle-down economics" might've been on the nose though. An interesting thing to see come from his lips, too. Of course a worker's gonna work and fuck him anyway

felt that way about Talking Smack and look what happened there....

This sums up TNA so well...

Roman's going to explode. Everyone back up.