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It's really weird to me how nervous he was. He was speaking so fast and was doing all these weird breathing things with his body and flopping his hands around. It's strange how speaking in front of 10,000 anonymous people is completely different from speaking in front of, like 40 or 50 who are much more intimately in your space. There's like no crossover in the two that would make him somehow better at this and less nervous than anyone else. He's just suddenly like a football player giving a book report. The content was like some bizarre Cartesian treatise about how sensory perception leads to behavior from like the early 1600s. He also jumped right on the "10% of the brain" thing. IS HE NOT READING THE MOVIE OMNIBUS THREAD????

Claiming NXT is anything but an unmitigated success has to be a joke. 1) They've already produced a lot of top-quality guys. Roman and Rollins spent some time in the early days of the current version. The Wyatts came to life in the Full Sail incarnation. Those guys are already quasi-main event guys and combined have been in a ridiculous amount of the best matches of the past two years. Say what you want about their booking now, but NXT developed those guys into main roster stars. Rusev's probably next at the main event level, too. Bo Dallas could get there, too. 2) They've given a lot of hope for a woman's division that isn't filled with partially-trained trash. Paige is great. Emma and Summer were relegated to comedy act stuff (which made sense, since their comedy match work in NXT was amazing), but both can really work. Charlotte and Bailey are on their way at some point and are also top notch. 3) The mid-card guys they've produced have all worked. Not everyone will be a huge star. That's just the nature of wrestling -- what 600 nerds in Florida like might not translate to a 20,000 seat arena and PPV audience. But they're all at least solid workers. The least impressive guy from NXT to get called up is Xavier Woods, but they're experimenting with him as a stable mouthpiece and, since he's a real-life PhD candidate, will get trotted out for newspaper articles and appearances. That PR stuff has a ton of value, too. 4) The only miss they've had is Adam Rose. And that's not even that bad of a whiff, since he fits a decent comedy slot and his entourage can give us things like Heath Slater and Titus chasing bunnies. 5) They're starting to figure out how to rebuild main event guys. Cesaro was sort of the first -- he got to have PPV caliber matches with Sami and Regal, and that no doubt helped him get some top card play for a bit. They've definitely done that with Tyson Kidd, who has become a magnificent bastard. 6) They also built something for nerds like us. NXT might not always have the best quality of matches, but it's at least always interesting. I love being able to watch these characters from and the workers figure it out. Bo Dallas went from being a DOA babyface into one of the most sublimely entertaining acts imaginable. I've gotten to see Bailey grow in confidence. Aiden English went from a jobber to an entertaining singing act into one hell of a tag worker. Tyler Breeze went from comedy heel into a great sneaky piece of shit (with his own theme song) and has poor man's Shawn Michaels potential. 7) NXT is also just fun. It's good, simple storylines filled with really great characters. The crowd is awesome -- it's like a mix of Chikara and ECW in the best ways possible. They have really funny chants ("Bailey's Gonna Hug You") and shut down stuff like CM Punk or Leo Kruger chants. It's my favorite thing in wrestling. I'm really positive about the WWE in general, but NXT is the most fun to watch, and it's not even a debate. I love that HHH sees this as a new WCW type of thing. I've never seen Kenta or Steen and whoever else. I'm so excited to see it continue.

Luke Harper was wearing an eye patch for some reason this weekend: Should wear it full time. AND THEY SHOULD NEVER EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS EYE

Anyone watch ESPN Gameday?

CORRINE BOHRER COMMERCIAL-VERSE: PART III: THE UNLEASHENING When we left Corinne Bohrer's commercial odyssey we had a body count of two (that we could confirm). Of course, has anyone seen Paul Reiser since 1998? Yeah. There could have already been dozens. We last saw her in an elevator, draped in layers of clothing. A twitching murderous mess coming to terms with her...different-ness. AT&T had decided to tap into her growing and uncontrollable powers to help them win the long distance wars. It worked in the short term. 10-10-321 is gone. MCI? 1-800-collect? Ground to so much bloody meat under her thrall. But at what price? She was at that point in a hyperactive melt-down state, growing in power as she shed layers of sanity with each faltering attempt at human interaction. To exploit that was irresponsible and twenty years later we are all paying with our lives. And so we move forward and get a glimpse into her crumbling reality just as it reaches a point of rupture. A woman haunted by demons...well a demon. A hideous gargoyle. This time courtesy of Pier 1. Note the dark apartment. Note how she lurks about in her own home...a shut-in, avoiding people as much as possible. Note how, once again, she shields herself in massive amounts of wool. Another turtleneck as she attempts to hide herself away from the world like CARRIE under the staircase. But she is haunted, pursued and pestered by a hideous entity that sings mockingly to her, follows her, dancing like at a witches sabbath, circling and cackling, that promises her gifts, implicates relationships, family, friends that don't exist, cannot exist for this singular creature. Is she concocting the bellowing ghoul out of guilt for her many murders? Out of shame of her difference? Or is she being selected by some ancient powers? Awakened through the mechanism of a braying harpy sent as messenger or a kind of shrieking psychic alarm clock? And where does this evil pied piper lead her? Into a terrifying landscape of candles and glassware. Furnishings, mocking symbols of a home that she does not have but will soon seek to create for herself. The breakthrough comes courtesy of Tostino's Pizza Roles. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJjWANw7trY It is a brief moment. But we can see that she has moved away from the city and attempted to preserve her hold on our plane and avoid more casualties by isolating herself in the countryside. She has idealized the "kitchen space" as the one that will be safest for her. But to no avail. The power of the Old Ones punctures physical reality once again, reaches through the apparently fragile walls of our dimension and makes it clear to her, once and for all, that she cannot remain here among us. That does not mean we will not be a part of her life-cycle, centuries or millenia..unknown yet. But she will make use of us to create a stable home for herself. That desire...her desire for a place to belong. For a home. It will eventually destroy us all. And we see it take shape...thanks to Windex. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHypOiN5BjE As she begins to embrace and master her powers we are now thrown into a sorceress whirlwind of unnatural activity. The dark, cramped apartment has given way to a vast white space. A blank canvas on which she can concoct a homeworld. At first she explores furtively, but eventually with lunges and thrusts, she begins to bend reality. Refrigerators and stoves, more symbols of "home" multiply. The fabric of space splinters and stretches. She is modeling this world on the idealized feminine domestic spaces of her commercial origins, the last vague memories of that adorable Chicken McNugget girl with the smooth Gillette legs and the naive Texas drawl. But it spins out of control and soon she is merging strange chemicals and towering over smudges and stains. It is at this point that we realize with horror, dear reader, that her world is not outside of ours, but around it. We are within her grasp. She has found her purpose. And she gathers us up one spongefull at a time. The chapters ends...but no...suddenly she turns and we see them. Among her mergings and creations she has forged two younglings. She will send them into a middle space between our dimension and hers.,a conduit to feed our life energy into her. It is what she needs to maintain the walls of blissful order she has constructed around her. Their words? In unison, the most ominous we might imagine: "Mom! We're Huuuuuuuuuungry!!!!" Dear God...what has been spawned? We know one of these creatures. We know her as the Ciabatta Baconatress. The Baja Smoked Gouta Pecan Destructress. We have explored her middle-dimension quite a bit in this thread. We all know the hypnotic paradise of office-cubicle and hipster-apartment mirages that await us in her Sarlacc-Stomach purgatory realm. And for the first time we have gotten a glimpse at the final stop in the process of consumption for one of the many hipster slugs under Wendy's Lady's control...Corinne Bohrer's "Kitchen." And now, thanks to these recent revelations, we can see the connections. We learned a few commercials ago that there was a power higher than Wendy's Lady. And now we know of her origins and we have something like a picture of our own true universe. A cosmological map by which we can begin to strategize...or perpare for supplication and surrender. It is terrifying...and enthralling to imagine the layers through which we will each be digested and assimilated. I eagerly await the summoning of the Red-Haired Broctoon of the Pretzel-Baconsphere. And the other child? A savior perhaps? A New Hope?

Maybe your doofus QB shouldn't stand next to where the big men are tussling so if one falls down he doesn't get a booboo.

A walk off injury is a weak ass way to end a football game but what can you do? The only alternative would be to leave it up to the ref's judgement whether the player is actually injured or is faking an injury to save time on the clock. And NFL refs are the most incompetent officials in all of sports, I wouldn't trust their judgement on what to order from Taco Bell, let alone make an on the fly medical diagnoses.

Who wants to bet me that Phillip Rivers will have another kid born nine months from today, give or take one week?

I need more likes. ;-) GOOOOOOO PANTHERS!!!!!

It's weird Jenn not posting about the Panthers collapsing in the fourth.

Of all the bands in all the world, they put U fucking 2 on my iphone without even asking? I am honestly outraged. I couldn't even delete it. Swiping left would just play the song, whereas any other song by any artist could be deleted that way. It's the worst virus I've ever had. I had to delete all my music off my phone and change some settings to get rid of it and make sure it doesn't come back. How much of a sell-out do you have to be to literally FORCE people to own your crappy album? Fuck you, Bono. Twat.

Sadly most evil mirrors today have the ihaunt app which allows them to remotely control the reflection on your super-reflective smart phone glass. THEY"RE MOBILE, BABIES!!!!

Lou Thesz vs. Verne Gagne is fucking awesome. And Russ Davis has overnight on my list of best announcers ever.

Judging by those pictures, it appears that Simon Dean has departed from the Simon System.

I thought this was CM Punk and A. J. Lee at Lamaze class. - RAF

Does anyone remember the good old days when the biggest issue in the NFL was how much of a distraction a gay player would be

Lou Thesz vs. Verne Gagne...THIS is some old school mat wrasslin' my friends!

Coming soon from WWE Films - Weekend at Buddy's

I don't need to, I know people love the Jews.

y'all thought I was messing around. Two of you are on Jaecation for 3 days. When you come back try not to respond to each other. And don't ever. ever. ever. publicly ask for an admin to ban some one. We hate it. Carry on.

Vinny: "They know nothing about the wrestling business." Spike exec: "What Vince Russo is saying is complete nonsense." I don't know, sounds like they've got a pretty good handle on the wrestling business.

While pictures out of gimmick show Undertaker's age, somehow Michelle McCool seems to be getting younger. She must be a succubus. Would explain her being super skinny too. Undertaker is her picture of Dorian Gray

My girl is 6. Hallowe'en is on the horizon. The answer is obvious: MILLIONS OF CANDY! MILLIONS OF CANDY!

I wanna be a Pirate.

Who would steal gear? How much are u really gonna make off it?

Jenn's 6-minute turn from despair to joy warms my cold heart.

I'll just be damned.

What do the Saints and possums have in common? They play dead at home and get killed on the road!

OMG Between my two leagues, I have AJ Green, DeSean Jackson, Sammy Watkins all hurt. In the first quarter. I don't think God likes football; this is a heck of a week to be super gristly.

Yeah that sounds good in theory, until Evil Mirror's friend Uncharacteristically Strong Wind comes blowin through and takes care of Really Big Sheet.

Don't even need to do that. Just go to Wal-Mart and buy the evil mirror's mortal enemy: a really big sheet. Stand a few feet away, throw big sheet over mirror, forget about it and go play outside.

From what I understand: Cripplingly low self-esteem resulting in severely lowered standards.

The weird thing was when mid 2000s Flair bashed Bret in his book for only having 5 moves.

Ok, so where are the elite athletes that it would attract? Merriman is already gone and was falling apart from roids and beating up tila tequila long before this. JR did a better job of attracting this talent with far less budget and hoopla.

Taker is gradually morphing into nowadays Jimmy Valiant.

Because he's a rich and famous athlete; they get probation and counseling where the rest of society gets jail time.

Not all people.

It's a sad, sad day when pro wrestling has become the bastion of behavior.

Man. Louie Anderson needs a haircut.

They debuted Generico?!? I liked the Zayn character

She accidentally started getting over. Obviously, pulling her off tv and never mentioning her again was the only rational response.

The answer is yes

Depends on how doped up Marty and Shawn were. If they were sober then it was probably good. A little high...not so good. Completely shit faced and numb....4 stars.

A ton of Penn State kids are celebrating at the football stadium tonight. The police are gearing up for the fairly regular riot at Penn State. This is why they needed to shut down that program.

It seems like with Capaldi, the mask has come off of the doctor. We saw some glimpses of it with Eccelston, and a bit with Tennant. The Matt Smith came along, and the Doctor seemed to be a friendly "person". Now its as if the Doctor is closer to his true self, a cranky older gentleman, while still having some compassion, is tired of the charade of being other than what he is.

I thought Wrestling Is was Chikara under a reconstituted name. Where's my 84 page .pdf to clear up the confusion??