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He's an AERIALIST. Hence the paratrooper jacket. Also, an architect, and a surgeon. Seth Rollins is Art Vandelay.

I'd be for them sending another Gonzalez to Cuba if you get my drift

Didnt even last a whole day

Fuck Bryan. I'm Bizzarro for Cesaro.

Yeah - I know I have asked you to settle down before but this is back to back days you have used offensive language so enjoy some time off.

Because he sucked as a Marine Biologist.

I don't understand all this love for HHH's fifth grader taunts as if it takes some kind of special talent to do it. Being an annoying dickhead is literally the easiest thing in the world to be.

Shield invades the Wyatt residence like the dea rading a drug shanty.

I could sense the fear in Batista's eyes hidden behind his shades. Brock came out like "I saw your attempt at MMA.. LOL"

Too bad HHH married the boss's daughter and became successful at his chosen profession because he totally missed his calling as a message board troll. That opening promo combining Gonzalez's mic skills with FSW's workrate was a thing of absolute beauty.

Funbags soothe the savage beast.

I heard that's what happened to that guy who was stabbed to death in China out on the street and nobody helped him. Everyone was waiting for their music to play. Kitty Genovese would still be alive if we had theme music in the 1960s

How many people stared at this for a full minute, waiting for it to move?

You dubbed Daniel Bryan as the Austin for the generation of kids who can't pay their student loans back. I totally ripped that off. I LOVED Bryan's promo last night. His stuff this summer was a lot more passive-aggressive and sarcastic. He's ALWAYS been about getting the title around his waist. That's how he views beating The Authority and the machine. A lot of the Attitude Era stuff made the title very secondary. There's nothing wrong with that in a lot of occasions -- it's actually been secondary to Bryan vs. The Wyatts and Punk vs. The Authority -- but now it's back to Bryan wanting the belt. I look at this as the WWE's Occupy Wall Street moment right now. I don't want to get political with this stuff, but yeah -- there's a big connection between big corporations and rich people and the decision makers in our government, and it's all sort of unspoken but clearly there. There aren't a lot of people sticking up for the middle-class and little guy. HHH and his lackeys haven't explicitly come out and said there's a conspiracy, but they've done a terrific job of "show and don't tell" with only Michael Cole acting as the narrator, balanced by JBL doing his best Big Media mouthpiece denying this is true while reaping the benefits of being rich and one-of-them. There are other people we root for (or are supposed to) in Cena and Punk and The Rhodes Boys. But Cena's a product of the machine, albeit one who knows The Authority is wrong. I look at him as someone like George Clooney or Alec Baldwin -- outspoken about issues like Darfur or various left-leaning causes, but still rich and famous and people who got to the 1% because they had the right look. There's nothing wrong with that, but not everyone can embrace that dude. Punk's the loudmouth guy who wears his causes on his sleeves. I like Punk a ton and a lot of that is because I know his language -- I grew up going to basement punk shows and making zines and certainly waved my flag. But, yeah, he's abrasive and overly self-righteous at the same time and now there's a bit of a backlash in the smart wrestling fan (as in intelligent, not smart to the business) community against him. And I think that's part of it. The Rhodes Boys put family first despite the bank calling in the loan for their family run restaurant right at the same time TGIFriday's up across the street. But they scrapped together and made it and probably had the local newspaper write about them and are back to serving delicious egg salad sandwiches. And if you want to extend this wordy (and probably insane) metaphor, Show worked at the local Bank of America branch who was their loan officer and was forced to call it in due to quota-related job pressurs but his kid is on the Little League team they sponsor. (And that's why the match where The Rhodes Boys won the titles was my MOTY. If you're ranking things based just on workrate, I'm not going to disagree with how you come to your opinion. But my thoughts were based on the layered, textured storytelling of all this -- the angle was built and built and built for weeks at a time and the payoff was tremendous. When did wrestling ever feel like a Jimmy Stewart movie?) But the whole journey through all of this -- his feud with The Wyatts got top billing since that began -- has been Daniel Bryan. He's just an underdog, like all of us. He knows he's being screwed over but isn't wearing his veganism or his environmentalism on his sleeve. He just wants to make it but doing so the right way. He doesn't want to be the hero (he described himself as a "reluctant hero" in Grantland) but he IS the hero and now he's embracing that position. And now he's being embraced even more. Say what you want about the smark crowd, but I'd like to think a lot of WWE fans are a little more educated and hip to issues than they were in past decades. A lot of the better wrestling writing right now (Juice Make Sugar, The Classical, Brandon Stroud, Masked Man, Holzerman) comes from people who are legitimately smart and educated people who know about income disparity and the other issues of our day. It's a lot better than the Attitude Era when we had stuff like SCOOPZ and opinions about moves hit in matches and selling while note really capturing the "why are people consuming this" question. There's nothing wrong with looking at how and why matches work -- that's sort of the point of what the hell we talk about -- but people are looking at this stuff from a broader perspective now. It's a great time to have a liberal arts degree and like wrestling.

Please tell me we get to see something along the lines of... Luke Harper with a shotgun yelling in tongues would be awesome. Reigns charges through a wall as Rollins shatters through a window with his rolling tumble. Then Ambrose strolls in through the door.

Typical Kaiju War denialist scum...

I'm just surprised Foley has a flat screen and not some black/white tv from the 70s he found on someone's curb.

HAha. Foley would be a mark if he wasn't getting paid to do all this. Here is my list of Japanese wrestlers who could get over in the WWE: 1. Tajiri

Man, look at the trigger discipline. That guy is an awesome SWAT dude. Oh, sorry. FUCK THE AUTHORITY~! SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS~!

Who draws the short straw and has to tell Brock to chill with the "no regard for human life" chair throwing fits? If I'm sitting in the front of a WWE event and Brock comes within any radius of a chair, I'm heading to the concession stands. I need my face to stay pretty. Brock out there slinging chairs like he's out in an empty cornfield instead of a highly crowded arena. This dude is going to hit some Jimmy in the front row one of these days and the WWE is going to catch a case. This guy is wild.

It's funny how hard it is to explain wrestling to people who don't watch it regularly. My sister was over when I was watching the opening interview segment and she asked me why Cena and Sheamus didn't just run out together to save Daniel Bryan instead of each coming out separately and I was thinking.. "well, they had to play each of their theme songs to get each guy a good pop from the crowd" but you would sound like a complete fucking retard trying to explain something like that to someone who doesn't watch wrestling. Why can't they just run out and save their friend without ANY music playing at all? Ah, wrestling.

I'm busy gluing beards to Guy Fawkes masks to sell to these people

This is a warning poster they put up in schools, right? Like Mr. Yuk? "Hey kids, what do you do when you see Jumpsuit Man? "RUN!" "That's right! And what do you do when you see Carpeted-Van Man?" "RUN!" "That's Right! And what do you do when the two are combined?" "WHAT? THAT HAPPENS???? I CAN'T....I DON'T...."

Lighten up, Francis. After Cindy breaks up with Todd, Sam finally asks Cindy out on a date after she tells Bill that she has a crush on Sam and wants Bill to convince Sam to invite her to a party. Sam, Neal, and, Bill find themselves nervously attending a make-out party. Much to Lindsay's disappointment, the Weirs allow Nick to stay the night at their house after Nick's father sells his 29-piece drum kit. After Ken's girlfriend, Amy, reveals to him that she was born an intersex woman, Ken questions his sexuality and his over analysis of his relationship with her leads him to the conclusion that he has to break up with her. Sam is having a terrible time dating Cindy, who reveals herself to be shallow, rude, and egotistical. He tries to find the courage to break up with her. Lindsay struggles with asking Vice President George Bush a question during an assembly. By chance, Lindsay and the freaks find out that Nick has been dating Sara (Lizzy Caplan) and she has been teaching him to dance for an upcoming disco competition. Daniel, afraid of failing another test, is caught trying to pull the fire alarm. As punishment, he is forced to join the Audio/Visual club. The geeks respond to his presence coldly at first, but they later invite him to a game of Dungeons & Dragons. As a result of Lindsay's outstanding grades, she receives an invitation to an academic summit at the University of Michigan taking place for two weeks during the summer. However, she is unsure of whether or not she wants to attend. Are you watching Freaks n Geeks with Mrs. Drew or are you re-watching? If this is your first time through, have you finished?

My list of wrestlers that could get over if treated with any respect by WWE: 1. Every Wrestler

"My eyes are up here Eve."

The carpeting on the van is a big hint I believe.

WWF Macho Machine Advert - WWF Magazine #37 [March 1993] *Click to Enlarge*

Someone said it earlier, but 'Hollywood MMA Star' Batistia would be awesome. Just let him throw jobbers into leg locks for the next week or two and yell 'I WAS IN RIDDICK BITCH' until they tap.

They could bring him in as the Japanese master that taught Bryan, and Punk their most powerful moves. Who has now sold out to the Authority for money, and fame.

Please tell me we get to see something along the lines of... Luke Harper with a shotgun yelling in tongues would be awesome.

Kevin Durant's last 5 games:

New low point!

Miz vs. Ziggler in "The Battle of Cleveland" is probably the saddest booked match ever.

Oh and I hope we get a Rowan vs Sheamus singles match on next week's Raw. I don't know how many times I've said it but what's missing from WWE is some quality ginger on ginger violence.

MIKE. IS. BACK. Jonathan Banks confirmed as a series regular on BETTER CALL SAUL.

Roman Reigns powering out of the STF was some Hogan escaping the camel clutch shit.

Ambrose sold that Brogue kick like a cartoon wolf getting hit by a brick.

People who flip the bird like that weird me out.

Steph does Savage