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I will apologize for two things. One, if this has been posted. Two, if this is too much... but I will say it had me dyin

How Jerry arrived to Raw last night.

LOL

Pet peeve of movie posters: when the actors names do not match their position on the poster.

TOO SOON.

Claudio will eventually turn on Swagger and Coulter and cement his turn by doing a reverse giant swing where he grabs Zeb by the ends of his mustache instead of his legs.

Oh, OF COURSE this is the most reasonable explanation. You may as well have just said, "Whoopsie!" and borrowed a cute animals picture from Dolfan. Well no shit, Sherlock. HOW DARE YOU, JRAQ, YOU FUCK. Well that would have deprived us the hilarity of seeing you talk yourself in circles. Would he? I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have because it was you he spotted doing something particularly ridiculous and saying he would have resolved it in private is wishing this would just go away. You care so little, that's why you've spent this much time defending yourself. Look, I don't have a horse in this race since I'm not playing the picks game, but this is beyond silly and it's funny to watch you twist when you're called out on your hypocrisy and righteous indignation.

And fucking SHOOBABY!

Today's Adventures in Griefing features this Southern asshole who was giving his buddy shit because his buddy had a gay brother. Some of the most unfunny jokes you've ever heard. "Do you think your brother's gayness might have rubbed off on you?" and "I saw this dude looked just like you in Wal-Mart carrying a big-ass bra. Think it might've been your brother?" I noticed he was nearby (Sandy Shores airfield) so I headed over, then ran him over on the runway. He bitched a bit in chat about it while I drove away. Then he said "Oh dayum, a jumbo jet" (it was a Shamal) and headed for that. I came back and threw a sticky bomb on the jet and blew it up. He bitched more. A bit later, he got in a Buzzard and tried to hunt me down. He was using missiles which don't lock on, and he wasn't getting close. Finally, he got low to the ground along the road and flew slowly towards me. By the time he started getting sorta close, he was in rifle range and I gunned him and his other buddy in the chopper down. Since the chopper was so low, it landed safely, and he said (on chat, for everyone to hear) that they should get back in. I put the sticky bomb back on and am halfway to Vinewood by the time he and his buddy have gotten in it. Boom.

Maybe people around here just didn't expect Bryan to be as super uninteresting as the face of the WWE. Are you not overdue for a new gimmick at this point?

You guys, my dog is too cute . As Little Red Riding Hood for the Vet's costume party.

Captain America is still my favorite of the recent Avengers-based flicks. Yes, above Iron Man and Avengers both. It's got the best supporting cast (when's the last time you saw Tommy Lee Jones having this much fun?), the most badass villain, the most astonishing special effects, the best-staged action scenes, the most climactic-feeling final battle, the best score (random new Stephen Sondheim song!), the best blending of Golden, Silver, modern 616, and Ultimate storylines into one seamless package; and it kinda feels like it's trying to Say Something about the world more than the other flicks have tried to. Plus it's a nice feather in the cap of director Joe Johnston, who has spent much of his career cranking out mediocre thrillers which showed promise but ultimately fell flat; not this time. I've become increasingly fond of Django Unchained upon repeat viewings. When I first saw it in the theater I liked it, but thought it felt awfully derivative of Tarantino's other work after the turn of the century. Now, I'm starting to really appreciate the different levels of acting, Tarantino's rather incredibly clever ability to slyly foreshadow a ton of things in rather subtle and sneaky manners, and the great choreography of the action scenes. I've actually been to that place with the stage that lowers out of the ceiling, where the woman is forced to perform that scornful striptease. It's been a dinner theater for the past few decades, Chaffin's Dinner Barn, it's a nice joint. I strongly co-sign all of this. Les Miz for me too; although I'm quite partial to Sweeney Todd, that one doesn't feel quiiiite perfect. Although if we can count West Side Story as "modern", that one might count too. Plus, never forget that all the best animated Disney movies tend to be musicals... I like Rocky Horror, but that one's all about the live experience at the midnight shows. Watching that movie alone by yourself can quickly get pretty tedious. The cheap, slapdash nature of the production starts showing through, with countless little visible mistakes. And if you step back and consider the whole picture, the plot really is a huge bummer with everyone having their lives at least halfway ruined and getting a neutral-at-best ending. Also, I go to school in the town where this and Shock Treatment are both set, Denton TX, which is kinda weird. It's a standard mid-sized college town, you have to drive out a bit to find the kind of bumfuck-east farmland that the movie shows. No castles, either.

I wish they'd come out to Ameeehhhhrriiiicaan Dreeeaaaam. Everyone who is hating on the WWE right now is nuts. THIS HAS BEEN SO GOOD. Orton/Bryan in a HIAC is yet another shot at a MOTY. Their last PPV match was disappointing but it had a crazy cluster finish. Their match on Raw or Smackdown or whenever when Bryan was trying to prove himself was great, if I recall. Orton has been on fire. Bryan has been on fire. HITC matches are almost always great. Bryan's Flying Goat into the side of the cage is already imminent. And so many storylines have been intertwined. We have The Rhodes Family with the belts. The Shield want revenge. The Usos think they deserve the title shot. All six of those guys RULE. We could have a Smackdown Six all over again but within the confines of the bigger picture of HHH's schemes. Miz is far from saddled with The Wyatts. Miz and Kofi usually put me to sleep but they took a good beating last night and made Harper and Rowan look like monsters. Bray Wyatt gets to do his lunatic Koresh stuff as Miz is forced to watch. We have a sadistic maniac with Messiahnic delusions coming after a reality TV star pretty boy. And that's pretty much the least important feud on the roster right now.There's at least one match every Raw that is fantastic. Last night we had three. Seriously, what more do you people want? The show has been so tightly booked and written since SummerSlam. It's what us smarks always said they need to do. And they are.

Man, I thought that Goldust/Cody theme mash-up was terrible. You shouldn't mess with a perfect theme like Goldust's, like that.

I only watched the main event, but I kinda want Sunday for Bryan to be about to win, the lights go out and you hear "We're here" and the Wyatts to be Triple H's last gasp/deal with the devil to keep the title off Bryan. They do so, Triple H turns on The Shield because they couldn't get the job done, we get Shield-Wyatts in 6-mans for a while, until Wyatt Family decides they're bigger than Triple H and turn on him, too, which leads Triple H to have to go to Bryan and bury the hatchet because he needs Bryan to save WWE. I think that'd be a pretty compelling 6 months of TV right there.

Big E Fucking Langston

Some shots from one of my favorite Halloween websites, and a guy who makes absolutely the best Halloween decorations. Just imagine turning a corner and seeing any of these just sitting in an empty field: spoilered for largeness. The website is http://www.pumpkinrot.com/pages/Page46.html

It's insane that I have to do this for a number of reasons, but someone had to do it. Here we go! Last week I was keeping an eye on Burgandy Larue's selections because she is in the lead and it only makes sense to see how your main competition is picking. I remember thinking that I had her beat last week, but when the results came out we ended up with a tie. My suspicions were raised so I decided to take a closer look at her selections this week. Here are Burgandy's picks on Wednesday night at 9:27 PM central time: It seemed at the time like she was simply still making up her mind on quite a few of the picks. Let's see what she ended up deciding! I took this screen shot at 11:59 AM central time on Sunday. There were approximately 20 seconds left on the Redzone Channel's countdown to kickoff. Some good picks in the early games. I especially liked the Chicago pick, but obviously couldn't support the Lions over the Bengals. Seems like a pretty mediocre week, but she does still have a pretty decent lead. How about we take a look at her picks directly before Monday Night Football. How pathetic is that? I guess I would kind of understand if there was something worth cheating for, but she seems to be cheating solely for the pride points it would win her among a group of wrestling nerds. Sad.

So since its pretty clear we are going to get a real Americans/matadores feud coming up pretty soon, I have decided I need to see two things on my TV: Cesaro seeing how far he can throw Torito, and the Matadores bringing in the black sheep of the family, Cassandro, who kisses Zeb during a six man tag.

CM Punk has truly mastered the D.E.N.N.I.S. System.

You know, if you're going to make posts like this, I'm going to ask that you also include a picture of Statler and Waldorf.

Two of my best friends back home in Jersey, Bobby and Erin, who've been together forever and got married a few years back, just had their first child two weeks back.. She's an adorable little thing named Cassidy. She was premature, and just got home from the hospital. Bobby had her room waiting for her.

We had a thread for this on the previous incarnation of the board, where we had fun at the expense at the has-beens, never-weres, and almost-had-its. Not that all the music was bad, but the presentations were something to behold. I thought it'd be fun to start it up again. Here's the full show for the soft rock collection from Time Life:

I loved Rowan's awkward spin kick on Miz. The dude is a swamp monster just throwing himself at his opponent. It shouldn't look pretty.

Forget Miz. Tell me more about Francia Raisa.

Oh my god Ron Livingston your story is terrible and literally put me to sleep last night.

Remember when Garcia's fiancé was on the diva search calling Christy Hemme fat? Those were the days.

"FEED ME MORE!"

And Arizona god fucking damn it

Ever watched Phantom of the Paradise? I haven't seen it in years, but it's a lot of fun and sort of like Rocky Horror. Fun fact, but Phantom of the Paradise bombed everywhere in the world except Winnipeg, where it was a monster hit and played in theatres for over a year. The album was certified Gold in Canada strictly because it sold 20 000 copies in Winnipeg alone. There have been two Phantompalooza fan conventions here in the last few years that have reunited the cast, the second of which had a Paul Williams concert. Theatres still show it here periodically.

ITT we learned that JT lives in the Defense Bubble. It's like the Wrestling Bubble, but with trained killers.

Big E. could indeed be what Vince wanted from Bobby Lashley, and I don't think he'd fuck it up. Michaels reffing just reminded me of the Mr. Gannosuke/Hayabusa match he reffed where he started counting them both out at ringside, Gannosuke said "NO COUNT!" and he just kept going anyway. "It's FMW ya dingus!"

Guess whose old college friend is the lead gal in the Queen musical WE WILL ROCK YOU (that's making its tour across the United States right now) and has comped him for the show tomorrow night? THIS GUY.

I am excited because I am pretty sure Fowler is going to get angrier and angrier as the countdown goes on

Good move having someone who's you know a HOST hosting a show.

Ray, Kris, Sweetster and me all consecutively marking out for Shoo Baby on Twitter was hysterical. Dutch was fucking spectacular on color and you could see Lawler completely losing his shit as well. Lawler and Dutch in Memphis = warm fuzzies.

The problem with the Wyatt's is that their whole gimmick relies on the horror of being "taken" by them or whatever. But they never "take" anyone. It's been, it feels like five months? In this space of time they should have murdered five different people. And yeah, they beat Kane and he's "gone" but that's it....and it took them forever and since then they haven't actually done anything to anyone that would be concerning. I guess Miz is "next" but, Jesus, no way it should take them that long to dispatch him of Kofi to the horror-barn. But without seeing some horrific consequences for Kane, why would anyone worry anyway? He's just, like, "off t.v." like he would be if he was beaten down by anyone else. We need to see him horribly ruined in some way, and we should have seen it weeks ago, so there would some sense that Miz or Kofi were in actual danger. The camera should carry us into some barn, into a little enclosure and we should see what Kane has been turned into: or possibly even worse:

So that makes Triple H the biggest "mark" of them all?

They are already excellent at fucking themselves. It's not like they need the help.

I had to pause the Jannetty video after he said, "Don't tell nobody this..." I just felt dirty at that point.

If TNA holds a PPV and noone is around to watch it, does anyone still chant "This is awesome"?

Not sure if it's been mentioned but K-Dawg said that Punker and AJ (Lee, not Styles) are dating. This is, literally, the least surprising wrestling news in history.

I could totally see a situation where Angle sent a feeler out to WWE, knowing that TNA is on life support. WWE tells him, "We'll hire you back IF you shoot decline their HOF induction." So he did, and the H's runs into Vince's office this morning and sez, "Vince, that joke I played on Angle ... it fucking worked!" And they laugh their assess off for a little while, "Bwa-HAHAHAHAHAHAHaHaHaHahahahaha ... hahaha ... ha ha ... heh ... heh heh ... ahem, whew ... yeah, we're never hiring him back."

Sir, your music is just too loud.

This is by a wide margin the greatest thing that has ever happened. Edit: For anyone that reads this and is curious, sasa dango is a kind of leaf wrapped sweetened rice flour dumpling(dango). It's popular in Niigata which is where Sakai is from.

Does he do Bah Mitzvahs?

You can't blame Punk though. Anytime you get a chance to hang out with Bill Murray, YOU BETTER FUCKING TAKE IT!!!

Vader vs. Springsteen would fucking rule.

Custody issue resolved. Score one for the good guys.