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RAW 03/30/15

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So Sheamus is now the Ascension's version of Crush?

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I have the rest of the show sitting on my DVR. Saw some pics though. God bless AJ for wearing a Bayley shirt.

 

Cue extended rant from ebbie about how the shirt would look better on Nikki Bella.

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Cole really does need to off tv for at least a few weeks...

 

Well, first he needs to get off life support. Then they need to figure out how to interpret his Metallica One-Man head movements into language.  Then we'll see.

 

 

So if they have to preserve him like that, does that automatically make him Vintage Cole?

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I also posted one regarding the whole 'fuck Vince for burying Bryan Danielson' bullshit that the original WM 31 thread refused to let fucking die.

But I don't care anymore. This place is the only place I go to talk wrestling and keep up with it, but y'all are so fucking jaded, you killed this bitch's interest in wrestling.

Edit: forget I didn't post my rant cuz RIPPA locked it before I posted it. Lol

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Finally ended my sabbatical from live viewing of Raw...it was a mixed bag.  Very cool to see Kalisto and Neville.

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Orton bringing up his "rematch clause" again got a chuckle out of me after all this time.

 

"Hey remember that detail we were hoping you would forget about? Well, fuck you, we'll bring it up again."

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From WON douche

 

 

The Main Event, dominated by love for Ryback, is where we decided to take RAW over. We delivered "This is Boring" "NXT" "Sami Zyan", "Kevin Owens" "Hideo" , "Finn" "Breeze Is Georgous" and "How You Doin?", "Please Retire", "Same old Shit" (to the Big Show) and "We are Awesome" chants throughout. Oh...and don't forget about a 1 minute Mexican Wave becuse we were bored. Disrespectful, But SO MUCH FUN. 

 

Hey Joel O'Brien (the guy who wrote this). Fuck You.

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But I don't care anymore. This place is the only place I go to talk wrestling and keep up with it, but y'all are so fucking jaded, you killed this bitch's interest in wrestling.

 

 

Noooooooooooooo!

 

"You stil got it!" *clap clap clap*

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Ehh, my spirit was crushed a long time ago.

Welcome to the horde known as "live and let live".

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From WON douche

 

 

The Main Event, dominated by love for Ryback, is where we decided to take RAW over. We delivered "This is Boring" "NXT" "Sami Zyan", "Kevin Owens" "Hideo" , "Finn" "Breeze Is Georgous" and "How You Doin?", "Please Retire", "Same old Shit" (to the Big Show) and "We are Awesome" chants throughout. Oh...and don't forget about a 1 minute Mexican Wave becuse we were bored. Disrespectful, But SO MUCH FUN. 

 

Hey Joel O'Brien (the guy who wrote this). Fuck You.

I'm surprised he didn't brag about the blow job chants during the Diva tag. "You suck Cena" " You suck Bryan" "You suck Tyson" "You suck Punk." Think the odds are good that they will move RAW as far away from Mania as possible next year. WWE did a good job with the audio though and hiding it.

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Also - has anyone IDed the (I am assuming) SoCal worker who was the camerman?

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Not yet.  Poor Curtis Axel.  Somewhere in wrestler heaven,  Curt and Larry the Axe are weeping.

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THE CREATION OF THE NEW DAY

 

(Vince McMahon and HHH are backstage at a Raw in mid-2014)

 

Vince: Dammit Paul, I had high hopes for Big E, but the big man is losing steam. We need to do something with him...Say, we've got a lot of blacks on our roster, who can we put with him in a stable?

 

HHH: Well... there's Henry...

 

Vince: No dammit! Big E's the hoss in the group! He's gotta be the hoss! Henry will out-hoss him...

 

HHH: Um, Titus...

 

Vince: Still too hossy, I want flyers. Kofi! He'd be perfect! He smiles and wears bright colors and the fans eat it up. Who else?

 

HHH: Um, R-Truth...

 

Vince: No, he's too black. He'll make the others look like mullatas...

 

HHH: OK Vince, um, do me a favor and never say that publicly. I mean, I spent the majority of my career decked in pseudo-Nazi regalia and even I was a little offended there...

 

Vince: You pussy. Alright, but no R-Truth. Just find a third guy, not too big, someone from your NXT shit, that kid we brought in from TNA...

 

HHH: Xavier Woods?

 

Vince: Yeah, him, perfect. Now we need a gimmick for them. Like NOD, but positive, we're keeping them baby. How about a black church gimmick? The blacks love church. We'll give them a gospel choir in the vignettes. It'll be like that pop singer, what's his name, Kirk Franklin?

 

HHH: Yeah, uh, Vince, Kirk Franklin's gospel-pop thing was like a fad 15 years ago...

 

Vince: Perfect! The Attitude era! It all fits together! It's gonna be white hot, I tell you! Now where's my fork and knife dammit, can't you see I have a sandwich here?

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On the bright side, at least now Axel has something for his merch table at indy shows that he'll make some money with when he's released.

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Well I think Axel is safe since he has moved into the comedy jobber role.

 

Heath Slater - however - better change his number

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Loved Kalisto getting over like a million bucks. Then again, he had a) Cesaro catching him, b) a completely rabid crowd, and c) the announcers putting him over like gangbusters. ______ Neville's debut was really soft in comparison, with a somber, distracted Saxton calling the action while the crowd was still coming down after Lesnar murderlated everyone. Also had to laugh at the spot where "Adrian Neville" trended worldwide and Byron had to STFU about it.

 

If Tazz came up from NXT in this day and age, would he be "Ta" or "Zz?"

 

Don't get putting Reigns in a spot that would make him the most hated man on the entire show. Seriously, after the horrific beating at Mania they could've easily claimed he had a concussion or some other malady. 

 

Speaking of maladies, a genital warts pox on whoever thought Cole should have the same injury that, you know, KILLED A WRESTLER a week ago. Fucker.

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Well I think Axel is safe since he has moved into the comedy jobber role.

 

Heath Slater - however - better change his number

 

Bryan mentioned Heath Slater by name on the Jericho podcast as a guy that he wanted to get over. Not that he has any stroke but I'm curious to see if anything will come of that.

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"Ladies and gentlemen, we just heard from the doctors and the preliminary diagnosis on Michael Cole is the sudden evacuation of the soul from his body."

They should have had Taker make an appearance and carry Michael Cole's body out on a gurney.  

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So Byron Saxton has a job because Vince finally saw the 'boom goes the dynamite' video and assumed that is how millennials want commentary from now on, right?

He literally killed Raw. It was awesome until he came out. They had to send Lawler out to save him. Do you know how bad you have to be to make someone think 'you know what would make this better? Lawler.'

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Not yet.  Poor Curtis Axel.  Somewhere in wrestler heaven,  Curt and Larry the Axe are weeping.

 

Larry is still alive.

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THE CREATION OF THE NEW DAY

 

(Vince McMahon and HHH are backstage at a Raw in mid-2014)

 

Vince: Dammit Paul, I had high hopes for Big E, but the big man is losing steam. We need to do something with him...Say, we've got a lot of blacks on our roster, who can we put with him in a stable?

 

HHH: Well... there's Henry...

 

Vince: No dammit! Big E's the hoss in the group! He's gotta be the hoss! Henry will out-hoss him...

 

HHH: Um, Titus...

 

Vince: Still too hossy, I want flyers. Kofi! He'd be perfect! He smiles and wears bright colors and the fans eat it up. Who else?

 

HHH: Um, R-Truth...

 

Vince: No, he's too black. He'll make the others look like mullatas...

 

HHH: OK Vince, um, do me a favor and never say that publicly. I mean, I spent the majority of my career decked in pseudo-Nazi regalia and even I was a little offended there...

 

Vince: You pussy. Alright, but no R-Truth. Just find a third guy, not too big, someone from your NXT shit, that kid we brought in from TNA...

 

HHH: Xavier Woods?

 

Vince: Yeah, him, perfect. Now we need a gimmick for them. Like NOD, but positive, we're keeping them baby. How about a black church gimmick? The blacks love church. We'll give them a gospel choir in the vignettes. It'll be like that pop singer, what's his name, Kirk Franklin?

 

HHH: Yeah, uh, Vince, Kirk Franklin's gospel-pop thing was like a fad 15 years ago...

 

Vince: Perfect! The Attitude era! It all fits together! It's gonna be white hot, I tell you! Now where's my fork and knife dammit, can't you see I have a sandwich here?

 

And you know which day the New Day made their television debut on? Well, let me tell you.

 

Smackdown on 28 November 2014, the day after Thanksgiving. . .or, as it's more commonly referred to, Black Friday.

 

Tell me THAT was a coincidence, huh?

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If Becky Lynch were to get call up, would she have zero names, or would it be like dividing zero and she'd have a Pippi Longstocking-esque 13 names?

 

Come on, you know she'll just be some variation of Red. Lady Red. Little Red. Celtic Red. Redette.

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