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"Hello everybody, Jim Ross here with Missy Hyatt...."

Yeah she's trying to make Fish a memorable character but I guess you could say she's...... floundering

"Personal foul # 78 defense. Touching Tom Brady. 15 yard penalty. First down."

Well, I've got this guy. He pitched great late last year, but he's been injured and came back late this season, pretty shaky. So shaky that I know I can't start him in the postseason. So you're going to leave him off the roster. No. I'm going to put him in the bullpen. I have no idea how he'll react or what kind of stuff he has right now. But I'm going to take a precious bullpen slot and use it to have him sit there. He's not going to pitch? Of course not. I literally have no idea what he's going to throw up there. His arm could be dead right now for all I know. Any chance I had early in the postseason to test him, I didn't take...so I know as little as the rest of you guys do. And now it's been weeks since he pitched in a game at all. So, using him would be crazy. But I'll let him take this spot in the bullpen...for the lulz. And you won't ever use him. Actually, I just decided to. In our first win-or-go-home game. When it's tied. In the bottom of the ninth. What? Yeah, I know. I literally don't know if he can even throw two of his three pitches. Like, no one on earth knows what he has. So, yeah. Bottom 9th, tie game, win or die....FOR THE LULZ!!!!

Don't you dare pity that team. I won't stand for it.

I want everything in my life to be done in Bane voice ... could you imagine the new RKO Outta Nowhere memes, how much the terrorists would win if those great tastes tasted great together? "Oh mhy ... out of nowhere, *wheeze,* IT'SH THA VIYPER!"

How do you cash in on a champion who isn't around? This makes me want to watch of series of vignettes where Seth Rollins is hunting the Beast incarnate through the backwoods of bumblefuck, Montana. Seth finally comes across the secluded cabin and has second thoughts about the world of shit he's put himself in.

Yeah, a shame Jeter has to end without another World Series. He - and the Yankees - really don't have enough. Hard luck team, historically.

What an asshole that guy is. He didn't even protect Tenryu.

I'd like to take this opportunity to show my support for fat Chris Hero. Wrestling needs more fat guys who stiff the shit out of other guys with elbows.

Random Kanyon Cutters for everyone.

I doubt that Snipes had much to worry about in the shower. Celebrities tend to get treated like royalty in prison. Add in the fact that this is fuckin' Blade we're talking about and he was put in jail by The Man on charges which most criminals would probably feel are total bullshit, I'd bet that Snipes was likely seen by even the hardest cases as being the folk hero of his cell block. If anyone tried to lay a hand on him (even if Wesley couldn't just kick their ass himself) they probably would be found dead the next day, with the official record showing that they'd committed suicide by shanking themselves fifty-seven times in the back. Michael Bay's signature style of jiggling the camera around, editing like a particularly hyperactive music video, and making all the sound mix REALLY LOUD. Lots of bad performances from a not-bad cast (Liv Tyler isn't a bad actress at all, compare her to Kristen Stewart for example; she's just not a great one). Plenty of terrible groan-inducing lines of dialogue. An egregious misunderstanding of the laws of physics which isn't merely insulting our intelligence, it's calling our intelligence's mother a filthy fucking whore. The incredibly dumb assumption that it makes more sense to train oil drillers how to fly a spaceship rather than teaching astronauts how to operate a drill. A compulsive obsession with blowing up everything. An overdose of needless subplots and contrived conflicts which drag the film to a punishingly long running time. And finally, the fact that when it was released we'd just seen all the exact same shit done better in Deep Impact. Frankly, what is there to like about Armageddon? It's tiresomely big, long, stupid, and loud even by the standards of an action flick.

6 year old lost a tooth defending a rear naked choke in BJJ class. She spit it out, showed it to coach and wanted to continue sparring. At least it was the loose one.

"If Dixie is telling the truth..." Given prior history, let's assume she's not.

Refs do that all the time. In every single game. For every single team.

And don't step to him either.

Why do I get the feeling that a portion of the briefing was to warn them not to say anything to the media, on twitter, etc, about Ebola.

You're doing it wrong.

Only if he plays some piano and dances too before leaving. I still maintain that emo-jazz Peter was the best, not worst, part of Spider-Man 3.

I'd still rather have Miles played by Donald Glover than that crap anyway.

Harvin was probably traded because Darrell Bevell is too god damned stupid to think of any other way to use him than "screen pass behind the line of scrimmage"

Am officially an owner of a PS3 FUCK MICROSOFT!!!! Isn't that what I am supposed to say now?

The real terror at Del Perro pier is when some dumb sumbitch is riding the Ferris Wheel with three of us waiting for him at the end of the ride.

More like "you can't bodyslam Haystacks Calhoun."

I'll bet Mike Tenay does I'm not so sure. Maybe the email got sent to the wrong Mike.

Until Seth Rollins declares Brock is hiding from him...

I'll bet Mike Tenay does

Well we already knew she was paying the talent slave wages...

That is even better Cleavy Oh and... "There has been some claims that TNA has been negotiating with a talent that would reportedly “shock people.” It’s said that if it comes to fruition, the new signing would create a buzz around TNA, however no one seems to know who the talent is." A TNA first folks!

It's so funny to me that you guys think anything at all will happen to Winston.

Given that we're going into walkoff territory and apparently the red-phone line between Tony LaRussa's old office and the Commissioner's office is no longer in service, and the team is now managed by Kevin Kline from A FISH CALLED WANDA...all of this meaning that this may be my last chance to post in this thread before being Dr.-Seuss-giant-springed off into the swamp of the off-season thread where I'll be forced to live with...well, those kind of people... I just wanted to take this opportunity to step out of the gimmick a little, and say in all seriousness, and with all my heart... I hate you guys so fucking much.

Gotham's hanging on by a thread with me. They need to add a little more personality to Gordon instead of always having him be so grim and serious. Most of all though they need to get rid of Jada Pinkett. She's the worst thing on that show by a mile.

JBL now even refers to Michael Cole on twitter as "Maggle".

He's the only piece that can make it to the end.

The name of the cologne boosted by Randall....."Guilty Black" by Gucci. Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ, you can't make this stuff up....

*MICROSAWFT

I'm on record as despising films such as Saw or Human Centipede so I'm pretty sure my feelings here are clear, at least. I'm all for freedom of expression and if they can find someone to publish and distribute their hate simulator then bully for them, but luckily that freedom of expression also includes my right to hate your work and/or disparage it at will.

But a carriage, perhaps? *feels death glare* I'll show myself out.

I hope KC wins because I really love what they've done, even if I'm still scratching my head at trading away Myers. Hey, the move worked so far. Also, I want KC to win because fuck Will Clark.

Man, after everything that's happened with PSU this year, the stuff with Cam however many years ago, how Jameis has already gotten off scott free a couple times, and on and on and on, I have no faith that justice will be served. I would not be shocked to see Jameis (what a stupid fucking name) play all year and be handed the Heisman again.

WWE Signs Spud, Signs Grado, fueds them, prints lots and lots of money.

This is like one of those No Mercy custom moves that'd take about 4 hours to enter into a Gameshark.

Thanks for mentioning that out. I figured he might have done it to some jobber or something in WCW. Anyways...

Except when you mischaracterize Tony Stark in the movies you run the risk of killing a billion dollar franchise not just turning off, at best, a couple thousand middle-aged guys who still read monthly floppies.

Yes. It was. Who's to say it wasn't because I accidentally typed in EN090 when I meant to type up Big Fresh. Also, you all suck and I can't wait to destroy this whole subfolder.

Cocaine is a HELLVA drug. . . See, this is telling me that wasn't salt Fuji threw into Bret's eyes at WM 9. It was whatever was leftover from what the Rockers were doing. In 1988 - he keeps an extensive record of all recreational drug use in physical form JUST IN CASE. And we all know how he was able to track it down:

just watched this. It was actually a WAR show, and man was that crowd MOLTEN!