MOVIE COMMENT CATCH-ALL THREAD

[Tabe]

The Guardian - Ashton Kutcher is a high school swim champion who wants to be a Coast Guard rescue diver.  Kevin Costner is the crotchety veteran diver whose best friend dies so he's made a trainer for awhile.  Costner is unconventional but he gets results.  This is not a movie that breaks any new ground but it looks good, has some nifty looking stunts, and is generally entertaining.  I liked it.

 

Bully - The recent documentary, not the 2001 movie about a murder.  This movie is heartbreaking as it mostly one kid and the crap he puts up with on a daily basis.  When a kid on his bus starts stabbing him with a pencil and he just says "Why are you stabbing me?", you'll want to bust some heads.  More heartbreaking is the utter impotence shown by the adults.  When the kid's principal is shown video of the harassment on the bus, she shows the parents pictures of her grandchildren.  Excellent movie, tough to watch.

 

The Boys Are Back - Clive Owen is a widower with a young son.  His kid is weird and there's this weird exchange early in the movie where the kid is asking Owen when his mom is going to die and then runs off to play.  I couldn't take more than 30 minutes of this one and gave up.

 

Indecent Proposal - Better than I remembered it being.  Robert Redford is the billionaire who buys whatever he wants.  Demi Moore is Woody Harrelson's wife and she's what he wants.  He pays a million bucks and gets her for a night.  This movie is mostly about the psychological havoc that that decision wreaks on the married couple.  When this came out, it generated a lot of "Would you?  Would you let your wife?" debate.  Anyway, this is back when Demi Moore was scorching hot and she does a good job of looking hot and carrying her weight next to Harrelson & Redford.  Good movie.

 

We Were Soldiers - Mel Gibson leads a group of soldiers in this based-on-a-true-story Vietnam War movie.  Very good movie.

[Control]

Criterion is releasing every Zatoichi film in one dual format box set. http://www.criterion.com/boxsets/1012-zatoichi-the-blind-swordsman

 

 

The colossally popular Zatoichi films make up the longest-running action series in Japanese history and created one of the screen’s great heroes: an itinerant blind masseur who also happens to be a lightning-fast swordsman. As this iconic figure, the charismatic and earthy Shintaro Katsu became an instant superstar, lending a larger-than-life presence to the thrilling adventures of a man who lives staunchly by a code of honor and delivers justice in every town and village he enters. The films that feature him are variously pulse-pounding, hilarious, stirring, and completely off-the-wall. This deluxe set features the string of twenty-five Zatoichi films made between 1962 and 1973, collected in one package for the first time.

[J.T.]

Criterion is releasing every Zatoichi film in one dual format box set. http://www.criterion.com/boxsets/1012-zatoichi-the-blind-swordsman

 

Between this and the PS4 I am going to request as Christmas gifts, my girlfriend and my family are going to hate me.

[Eivion]

Finally watched Battle Royale last night. Been putting off for years and I don't know why as I ended digging it a good deal. The characters were decent enough, and I enjoyed the general motivations behind them despite how quickly the poor bastards were getting picked off. Had no idea Takeshi Kitano was in it. I found it all the more enjoyable whenever he was on screen. I'm a little surprised at the comparisons people made to it when Hunger Games came to because aside from the young people being forced to kill each other they are fairly different films in terms of directions and  character motivations. I noticed the film has a sequel. Is it worth checking out?

[Curt McGirt]

Battle Royale 2 came off like an overlong, pretentious remake to me. Then again I watched it before the original, and honestly didn't like that one much either. A rewatch will be in order for probably a really long time.

[Fat Spanish Waiter]

Watched Eurotrip and noticed two of the main characters were on Justified, one as Wynn Duffy's lackey in Season 2(?) and the other as Tim Gutterson.  Interesting catch and surprisingly, the movie isn't half bad.  

Also: Matt fucking Damon

[Brian Fowler]

God, I love Damon's out of nowhere cameo in that film.

[caley]

Finally watched Battle Royale last night. Been putting off for years and I don't know why as I ended digging it a good deal. The characters were decent enough, and I enjoyed the general motivations behind them despite how quickly the poor bastards were getting picked off. Had no idea Takeshi Kitano was in it. I found it all the more enjoyable whenever he was on screen. I'm a little surprised at the comparisons people made to it when Hunger Games came to because aside from the young people being forced to kill each other they are fairly different films in terms of directions and  character motivations. I noticed the film has a sequel. Is it worth checking out?

 

I own it but haven't watched it.  The consensus out there is...no it's not worth it.  I might get around to it at some point, still.

[Ace]

Battle Royale 2 is not good, but is occasionally hilarious.

[piranesi]

As I've mentioned once before, it turns out that the original PIRANHA is really packed with awesome character actors.  Just a huge amount of history there.  They pop up and disappear at a startling rate.  I'm guessing this is a Joe Dante thing.  And for the pampered coke-addled Sean-Cassidy worshipping fools of the "Me Generation" packing the 1978 drive-ins they were just a bunch of funny-looking "geezers" and "crazy beardos"  But if you look past that you see deep careers that stretch back across a century.

 So, here is the second installment in a series I'd like to call "AWESOME ACTORS HIDDEN IN THE CAST OF PIRANHA"

Maybe even more amazing than last time's entrant Richard Deacon is the subject of installment #2: Keenan Wynn

Early on in PIRANHA there is a frankly bizarre scene between two old grizzled drunken hillbillies that does nothing but 1) creep out the viewers and 2) set up one poor old dude so that later when he dangles his feet in the water and gets them eaten off, we will have some context for where we are and where the evil Piranya are.

Here he is in PIRANHA about to be eaten:

 

Once again, Joe Dante has given us a great crazy guy with a great crazy-guy face. In 1978, that's all he was, right..."some old-timey dude from central casting...probably a homeless guy who collects cans on the studio lot."  

Bullshit, junior.  It turns out that this is Keenan Wynn, one of the most storied film actors of the 20th century, racking up 276 credits on IMDB.  That, as we all learned recently, is the same number as Christopher Lee.  So, this man is worthy of a few minutes of your time.  

He didn't always look like a crazy old prospector.  But when he did, he was exceptionally crazy and prospective:

 

Looks a bit like Eli Wallach from THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY, no?  Enough so that he scored a role in Sergio Leone's 2nd greatest movie, ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST as the hapless sheriff outwitted by, well everyone:

 

When Sergio Leone comes calling, you know you have a great face.

 

But unlike Richard Deacon, who played the same type over and over, Keenan Wynn underwent an incredible transformation over his career.  He began like this:

 

as a dashing, Noel Coward-ish, Cole Porter-y MGM pretty boy.  That, in itself was an attempt to distance himself from his father, the famous Vaudevillian Ed Wynn, who worked with Buster Keaton, and The Three Stooges and hosted a hit variety show on both radio and early television.

 

<----------Keenan's Dad

Our Wynn, whose given full name was...check this shit...Francis Xavier Aloysius James Jeremiah Keenan Wynn...set out on a different path.  But cursed with a receding hairline and  looking old for his age, he pretty quickly settled into the role of MGM's go-to heavy, starting out as the "bad aristocrat" and then "the mean military guy" and eventually "the batshit crazy wildman"  You can trace his career path in the thickness of his moustache.

From pencil-thin and aristocratic:

 

to bushier and authoritarian (here as Colonel Bat Guano in DR. STRANGELOVE OR HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE THE BOMB):

To the full Wilfred Brimley lunatic-stache:


Along the way he played in movies that ranged from A-list pictures starring Clark Gable, Lana Turner, and Judy Garland, with Fred Astaire in FINIAN'S RAINBOW and ROYAL WEDDING, and for you film-school types with Orson Welles in TOUCH OF EVIL and in Altman's NASHVILLE.

For God's sake, He had an entire segment to himself in ZIGFIELD FOLLIES.  

For you soulless baby boomers, he was the voice of the Winter Warlock in SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN' TO TOWN, which those in the baseball thread already know is the universal guidebook to  righteousness and tradition (and, hey Fred Astaire again..I think they were buds or something, because Keenan Wynn is in, like 12 Fred Astaire movies).

 

His t.v. work is practically an encyclopedia of everything that was great:
from early t.v. like THE TWILIGHT ZONE, WAGON TRAIN, PLAYHOUSE 90, to later awesomeness like EMERGENCY, DALLAS, TAXI, QUINCY, BARETTA, THE LOVE BOAT, THE GREATEST AMERICAN HERO...just like, every show you could possibly name, including the greatest show ever

MANIMAL.

Once he fully embraced comedy, he appeared with his famous father (then in his 80s) in a series of comedic tributes including teamups in THE ABSENT MINDED PROFESSOR, and SON OF FLUBBER.

And then there were the B pictures. Enough of them that he ended up getting MST3K'ed at least twice (THE CLONUS HORROR and LASERBLAST). 

 

Keenan and the bots:

 

 

He looked awesome on this poster: Boobs go in the middle pane.


So, the next time you watch PIRANHA...and you will watch PIRANHA again, raise a glass to a guy who never won an Oscar or an Emmy or a Tony but who grew up with Buster Keaton teaching him how to pratfall and partied with Bing Crosby, danced with Fred Astaire, was pretend engaged to Lucille Ball, got slapped by Katherine Hepburn, and was the guy who let Steve McQueen ride his motorcycle, which turned out to be Steve's first time on a Triumph.  HE FUCKING SHOWED STEVE MCQUEEN HOW TO RIDE A TRIUMPH!!!!

 

Wait, WHAT?  Let's let Steve McQueen fill us in:  
 

McQueen even recalls exactly when he was bitten by the off-road bug– “Well, I was riding along Sepulveda with Dennis Hopper when we saw these guys bopping and bumping through the weeds near there, off the road. It was Keenan Wynn and another guy on these strange machines, dirt bikes they called them. We asked Keenan if he could climb that cliff. ‘Watch this,’ he says. Varoom! Right up to the top. Dennis and I were standing there with our eyes out to here. The very next day I went out and bought me a 500-cc Triumph dirt bike.”

Are you fucking kidding me?  And it wasn't just him.  He taught Marlon Brando how to ride for THE WILD ONE...ARE. YOU. FUCKING. KIDDING. ME?  He was supposed to play the Lee Marvin role, but MGM refuesed to let him out of his contract.

How many toked-up, munchied-out dopers at that drive-in realized any of this when they were watching Keenan Wynn get his feet eaten in PIRANHA?  0.  That's how many.  Don't be a doper!

[Curt McGirt]

I'm waiting for you to get on the blonde chick in Piranha that was eternally on some CBS soap opera my mom used to watch all the time

[Swift]

I'm blown away that not only are that suave gent and that grizzled ol' coot the same guy, but that they're both the guy from Dr. Strangelove.

[jaedmc]

 

Criterion is releasing every Zatoichi film in one dual format box set. http://www.criterion.com/boxsets/1012-zatoichi-the-blind-swordsman

 

 

 

 

The colossally popular Zatoichi films make up the longest-running action series in Japanese history and created one of the screen’s great heroes: an itinerant blind masseur who also happens to be a lightning-fast swordsman. As this iconic figure, the charismatic and earthy Shintaro Katsu became an instant superstar, lending a larger-than-life presence to the thrilling adventures of a man who lives staunchly by a code of honor and delivers justice in every town and village he enters. The films that feature him are variously pulse-pounding, hilarious, stirring, and completely off-the-wall. This deluxe set features the string of twenty-five Zatoichi films made between 1962 and 1973, collected in one package for the first time.

 

WANT SO HARD. I must win the DVDVR Fantasy Football league so that this can be MINE.

[odessasteps]

Since there's no Star Trek thread ...

http://www.theguardian.com/film/2013/aug/14/star-trek-into-darkness-voted-worst

Into Darkness voted worst trek film (even behind star trek v)

[Jingus]

Worst EVER?  I thought Into Darkness was a mediocre remake of Wrath of Khan and didn't feel very Trek-ish, but geez, no way is it worse than part V.  

 

Do NOT watch Battle Royale 2.  It is indescribably bad.  Even aside from being unentertaining, it's literally a pro-terrorism movie.  It begins with the survivors of the previous film blowing up a pair of twin towers and presumably killing a shitload of people, and we're supposed to APPLAUD that. 

 

Remakes suck.  Why even bother with some of these?  I just pounded down the double-fisted bar bet of Nightmare on Elm Street and Conan the Barbarian, and there wasn't one single tiny smidgen of a moment where I wasn't thinking "gee, the original movie did this so much better".  

[Death From Above]

God, I hate the fans of things I love. Football fans capture a lot of that but other Trek nerds can really be the worst if you get with the wrong ones.

[caley]

 Conan the Barbarian, and there wasn't one single tiny smidgen of a moment where I wasn't thinking "gee, the original movie did this so much better".  

I thought the opening of Conan was literally the best thing in the movie.  Jason Momoa was really boring as Conan.  He's much better as a big stoic bad guy in 'Bullet to the Head'

[Brian Fowler]

Oh god, that Nightmare remake was so fucking pointless.  Just...  Why?

[piranesi]

Oh god, that Nightmare remake was so fucking pointless.  Just...  Why?

 

I thought the F13th one was worse in terms of execution.  It was just dull.  I only saw Nightmare once, but I remember there being a few stylish bits in it.  And it at least maintained the tradition of a faux mystery to figure out to destroy Freddie and handled it adequately.

 

The Friday remake managed to take out everything that was atmospheric and fun about the originals.

[Brian Fowler]

I liked the Friday remake way more than the Nightmare one.  It was a bit too slick, but it basically brought competence too the exact same formula that worked for a decade in the 80's.

[piranesi]

We're on opposite sides in a sectarian war.

 

I wonder if it depends on which of the two original series you liked the most...like, that determines which remake you hate the most.

[odessasteps]

We're on opposite sides in a sectarian war.

For a second, i thought this was the futbol thread.

[Victator]

Betty was the smartest character in Revenge Of The Nerds. She jumped the jocks ship before anyone knew it was sinking.

[Newb82]

I liked the NIGHTMARE series more than FRIDAY, and tthought the FRIDAY remake was tolerable (save the ending) while I HATED the NIGHTMARE remake. Probably because the original NOES is one of my personal favorite movies ever, and I had much higher hopes for the NIGHTMARE remake.

I think it's hilarious Betty dumps Stan for Louis in NERDS because apparently Louis is a better lay on his first try than the presumably-experienced Stan.

[Victator]

Stan was more turned on by looking at himself. Can't blame him, he is the good looking one in every relationship. I love the final part of the movie when the other Lamdas rescued the nerds. Maybe my favorite scene in movie history.