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http://wate.com/2016/10/08/body-discovered-in-knoxville/

A close friend was shot to death in his car Saturday morning.

I've been trying to process all of this for two days. It all seems so surreal. Less than a month ago he was sitting on my couch, playing the guitar that collects dust on my wall, making me jealous of all the sounds he could make.
He explained why he couldn't handle classes this semester two weeks in and had to drop everything, and really laid himself bare telling me how he thought he was losing his mind and had to get out.

I can't stop crying. I want to kick and punch and throw things and scream at the sky.

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Stephen: 

 

I just saw this and can't begin to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. There's no explanation for some of the horrible shit that happens in life, you just have to try and find a bit of peace amid the craziness. 

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On 10/10/2016 at 10:24 PM, MORELOCK said:

http://wate.com/2016/10/08/body-discovered-in-knoxville/

A close friend was shot to death in his car Saturday morning.

I've been trying to process all of this for two days. It all seems so surreal. Less than a month ago he was sitting on my couch, playing the guitar that collects dust on my wall, making me jealous of all the sounds he could make.
He explained why he couldn't handle classes this semester two weeks in and had to drop everything, and really laid himself bare telling me how he thought he was losing his mind and had to get out.

I can't stop crying. I want to kick and punch and throw things and scream at the sky.

Damn. I'm very sorry for your loss.

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Minor compared to others, but they're re-roofing the block of townhouses I live in, just started work on mine this past Tuesday tearing off a whole bunch of shingles, and yesterday it rained and my roof started leaking in the late afternoon.  Apparently whatever they had covering my roof was not nailed down as well as it should have been and was blown open by the wind in one spot.  It could have been a lot worse, I guess, especially since I won't have to directly pay for it (but it'll probably hurt the property value long-term).  I ended up with water dripping from the ceiling in two places, and quite a few water stains on other spots in the ceiling and wall.  The roofers had to come back yesterday evening and go up there in the dark and rain, so it sucked for them too.

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So.

My wife has been grappling with depression her whole life, but it has recently sunk her to a new low. She will often lay on the couch all day on her tablet, not even getting up to eat. Her job and personal life have taken a hit, and (this is bad timing) we agreed to open our relationship, and I met someone on Saturday. While this is going on, my wife cried for two hours, didn't eat the food I made her, and just sat and watched The Last Five Years three times.

Yesterday I went food shopping and our daughter apparently wouldn't go to bed and my wife called me to hurry home. When I got home, my wife was asleep and our daughter was awake in her bed. When my wife woke up and I confronted her, she had a breakdown and asked me "have you ever felt like you lost the will to live?"

So her mental health has been skidding to a point where it affects MINE. I feel like I have to do all the household tasks while my wife tailspins and decays, and she is hesitant to seek help I cannot provide. I feel like a single parent to TWO children, one of whom is an adult invalid.

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18 hours ago, Super Ape said:

So.

My wife has been grappling with depression her whole life, but it has recently sunk her to a new low. She will often lay on the couch all day on her tablet, not even getting up to eat. Her job and personal life have taken a hit, and (this is bad timing) we agreed to open our relationship, and I met someone on Saturday. While this is going on, my wife cried for two hours, didn't eat the food I made her, and just sat and watched The Last Five Years three times.

Yesterday I went food shopping and our daughter apparently wouldn't go to bed and my wife called me to hurry home. When I got home, my wife was asleep and our daughter was awake in her bed. When my wife woke up and I confronted her, she had a breakdown and asked me "have you ever felt like you lost the will to live?"

So her mental health has been skidding to a point where it affects MINE. I feel like I have to do all the household tasks while my wife tailspins and decays, and she is hesitant to seek help I cannot provide. I feel like a single parent to TWO children, one of whom is an adult invalid.

So sorry to hear this friend, mental health is difficult. Best to you both.

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My 19 year old cat, Cali had to be put to sleep today. My other cat, Cleo is 9 years old. I've never lost anybody I've been very close to. I don't have any children, so my cats are my babies. Yes, we gave her a very good, long life; but that doesn't make it hurt any less. I've been bawling my eyes out all day except for the few hours where I drank a beer, took some xanax, and fell asleep. I was with Cali until the very end, cradling, kissing her, and apologizing for what I perceived as letting her down. This board and Seinfeld re-runs may be the only thing keeping me going right now.

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Well, this isn't a tragedy or anything, just something I'm looking for input on. 

After living in an apartment for 9 years, I'm finally moving back into a house.  (Renting)  I'm thrilled about it, but wondering the best way to make the transition as easy as possible on my cat.  She's 9+ years old. We (me and the cat) moved into this apartment when she was about 6 months old, so she's lived most of her life here.  She's a strictly indoor cat, never goes outside, period.  When I occasionally go visit my mom a couple hours away and stay for 2 or 3 days, the cat goes with me.  She likes my mom a lot (and vice versa) and the first time I went there with her, she was weirded out for a day or two, but now when she goes there she acts like she owns the place. 

Luckily the house is owned by a friend of mine, and she's letting me move in slowly over the month rather than one big moving day. (I officially live there starting December 1st.)  So I have already planned that for the final move, when there will be people in and out of here, I'll take Monkey to my mom's for a couple days so she won't be completely stressed out, or won't be scared and run out or anything.  Once I'm moved in I'm going to go pick up Monkey, along with my mom, and bring them both to the house.  I'll have my mom stay for about a week (she's retired and widowed and she'll love getting away for a week) so Monkey won't feel so alone in the house while I'm at work. 

But I'm just looking to figure out how to overall make it easiest for her.  I know they advise to introduce them to one room at a time, but the layout of the main floor of the house is pretty open, so that won't be practical.  I'll be using the finished basement as a bedroom, but I don't want to leave her shut in down there, as she'll have real separation anxiety. (She loves being near me when I'm home.) She's also not used to living in a place with two levels.  I'll be keeping the litterbox in the laundry room in the basement, so I'll obviously show her that first thing.  I'll be taking some of my furniture from the apartment, so that'll have familiar scents on it. 

Long story short, any advice on moving with a cat? 

 

 

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11 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

My 19 year old cat, Cali had to be put to sleep today. My other cat, Cleo is 9 years old. I've never lost anybody I've been very close to. I don't have any children, so my cats are my babies. Yes, we gave her a very good, long life; but that doesn't make it hurt any less. I've been bawling my eyes out all day except for the few hours where I drank a beer, took some xanax, and fell asleep. I was with Cali until the very end, cradling, kissing her, and apologizing for what I perceived as letting her down. This board and Seinfeld re-runs may be the only thing keeping me going right now.

@Nice Guy Eddie:

My heart goes out to you bro; as you probably saw on this thread over the last three months I lost both Captain Nemo & Dr. Nikola, my two black cats aged 16. My step-sons are grown, so our cats are our babies. To say that I was(am) gutted would be a complete understatement. I know how much it hurts right now, but the best thing that I can suggest is to adopt a couple of kittens from the nearest shelter. You gave Cali a great long life, people that can do that are exceptional, we can't save them all, but right now there are a couple of kittens out there that need you. I'm stressing two so that they each have someone their age to play with as Cleo will likely be less than impressed with little ones (maybe not, at 9 mother instinct or lack thereof could go either way, we have four that are under a year and the two oldest girls (13 & 10) just ignore them as does the mother of the two boys that are four months,she cut the apron strings right quick, (probably too soon) but Newt stepped up and takes care of them as well as her own two babies (eight weeks). You'll never replace Cali, nor do I mean to suggest that you even try, but you CAN give the gift of a great life to a couple of other cats who will turn out to be pretty special in their own way...

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7 hours ago, Hooks said:

Well, this isn't a tragedy or anything, just something I'm looking for input on. 

After living in an apartment for 9 years, I'm finally moving back into a house.  (Renting)  I'm thrilled about it, but wondering the best way to make the transition as easy as possible on my cat.  She's 9+ years old. We (me and the cat) moved into this apartment when she was about 6 months old, so she's lived most of her life here.  She's a strictly indoor cat, never goes outside, period.  When I occasionally go visit my mom a couple hours away and stay for 2 or 3 days, the cat goes with me.  She likes my mom a lot (and vice versa) and the first time I went there with her, she was weirded out for a day or two, but now when she goes there she acts like she owns the place. 

Luckily the house is owned by a friend of mine, and she's letting me move in slowly over the month rather than one big moving day. (I officially live there starting December 1st.)  So I have already planned that for the final move, when there will be people in and out of here, I'll take Monkey to my mom's for a couple days so she won't be completely stressed out, or won't be scared and run out or anything.  Once I'm moved in I'm going to go pick up Monkey, along with my mom, and bring them both to the house.  I'll have my mom stay for about a week (she's retired and widowed and she'll love getting away for a week) so Monkey won't feel so alone in the house while I'm at work. 

But I'm just looking to figure out how to overall make it easiest for her.  I know they advise to introduce them to one room at a time, but the layout of the main floor of the house is pretty open, so that won't be practical.  I'll be using the finished basement as a bedroom, but I don't want to leave her shut in down there, as she'll have real separation anxiety. (She loves being near me when I'm home.) She's also not used to living in a place with two levels.  I'll be keeping the litterbox in the laundry room in the basement, so I'll obviously show her that first thing.  I'll be taking some of my furniture from the apartment, so that'll have familiar scents on it. 

Long story short, any advice on moving with a cat? 

 

 

Butter on the paws in the new place. No, I'm not kidding, start the cat out in one room, likely your bedroom as you can close the door for the first 24 hrs. Gently rub some butter on the cat's front paws. Cats like to be clean and while they like butter well enough, first order of business is going to be getting it off their paws...  The cat will take some time doing this and once started will go for a complete bath... Having washed up in the new location, it is now home, and after the bath, the cat will likely take a nap, therefore having completed two of the four activities that makes a place home. Eating a meal is the third and I'm sure that you can figure out what activity #4 is. Anyway, once a cat has done all four things, they are reasonably comfortable and you can leave the bedroom door open so that the cat can explore, knowing that it has a safe haven to return to if something startles it.

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3 hours ago, OSJ said:

@Nice Guy Eddie:

My heart goes out to you bro; as you probably saw on this thread over the last three months I lost both Captain Nemo & Dr. Nikola, my two black cats aged 16. My step-sons are grown, so our cats are our babies. To say that I was(am) gutted would be a complete understatement. I know how much it hurts right now, but the best thing that I can suggest is to adopt a couple of kittens from the nearest shelter. You gave Cali a great long life, people that can do that are exceptional, we can't save them all, but right now there are a couple of kittens out there that need you. I'm stressing two so that they each have someone their age to play with as Cleo will likely be less than impressed with little ones (maybe not, at 9 mother instinct or lack thereof could go either way, we have four that are under a year and the two oldest girls (13 & 10) just ignore them as does the mother of the two boys that are four months,she cut the apron strings right quick, (probably too soon) but Newt stepped up and takes care of them as well as her own two babies (eight weeks). You'll never replace Cali, nor do I mean to suggest that you even try, but you CAN give the gift of a great life to a couple of other cats who will turn out to be pretty special in their own way...

Thank you. For someone I've never met and only know through this message board, I appreciate your kindness and thoughtfulness from the bottom of my aching heart right now.

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On 03/11/2016 at 11:22 PM, Nice Guy Eddie said:

My 19 year old cat, Cali had to be put to sleep today. My other cat, Cleo is 9 years old. I've never lost anybody I've been very close to. I don't have any children, so my cats are my babies. Yes, we gave her a very good, long life; but that doesn't make it hurt any less. I've been bawling my eyes out all day except for the few hours where I drank a beer, took some xanax, and fell asleep. I was with Cali until the very end, cradling, kissing her, and apologizing for what I perceived as letting her down. This board and Seinfeld re-runs may be the only thing keeping me going right now.

 

On 04/11/2016 at 10:41 AM, OSJ said:

@Nice Guy Eddie:

My heart goes out to you bro; as you probably saw on this thread over the last three months I lost both Captain Nemo & Dr. Nikola, my two black cats aged 16. My step-sons are grown, so our cats are our babies. To say that I was(am) gutted would be a complete understatement. I know how much it hurts right now, but the best thing that I can suggest is to adopt a couple of kittens from the nearest shelter. You gave Cali a great long life, people that can do that are exceptional, we can't save them all, but right now there are a couple of kittens out there that need you. I'm stressing two so that they each have someone their age to play with as Cleo will likely be less than impressed with little ones (maybe not, at 9 mother instinct or lack thereof could go either way, we have four that are under a year and the two oldest girls (13 & 10) just ignore them as does the mother of the two boys that are four months,she cut the apron strings right quick, (probably too soon) but Newt stepped up and takes care of them as well as her own two babies (eight weeks). You'll never replace Cali, nor do I mean to suggest that you even try, but you CAN give the gift of a great life to a couple of other cats who will turn out to be pretty special in their own way...

Sorry for your losses, fellas. Putting a pet to sleep sucks. Less pets, more like family who love unconditionally.

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