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[MOVIE] 2016 UPCOMING MOVIE TYPE THINGS:


RIPPA

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Seriously?  They're making ANOTHER one of these fuckin' things?  Okay, the other two made money; but still, it's not like there's much love left for Dan Brown out there anymore, his zeitgeist is dead and gone.  I hope they at least do a total rewrite on the novel's ending, Inferno anticlimaxes with one of the weakest cop-outs that I've ever seen in my life.  And I find it hilarious that they skipped trying to adapt The Lost Symbol, I guess making one of these conspiracy thrillers about American history would just be too controversial in the current GOD BLESS 'MURCA jingoistic era, so they just ignored it and went to the next one about exotic European shit again.  

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It's also possible that they skipped Lost Symbol because National Treasure did a better version than what you would have gotten out of a book adaptation.

But I mean they have Hanks and Howard - of course they are going to make another movie if both of them want to do it

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8 hours ago, Jingus said:

Seriously?  They're making ANOTHER one of these fuckin' things?  Okay, the other two made money; but still, it's not like there's much love left for Dan Brown out there anymore, his zeitgeist is dead and gone. 

Uh, it was the #1 selling book in 2013. His popularity is very much intact. 

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52 minutes ago, Tabe said:

Uh, it was the #1 selling book in 2013. 

Insert some overused gif of someone expressing extreme displeasure, Here.  That book was actively bad, and I am legitimately bummed out that it sold THAT well.  It was lame enough to make its own prequels read like some deep Victor Hugo life-changing shit in comparison.  

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To be fair, the state of the publishing industry being what it is, having the #1 book isn't necessarily a tremendous feat.

DA VINCI sold 80 million books.  INFERNO has sold less than 10 million.  So, yeah, it's safe to say the zeitgeist has passed him by.

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Okay, time to switch up whoever is making Kev's trailers, because that was awful.  Like someone just picked footage at completely random and then edited together in no order whatsoever.  It managed the impressive feat of spoiling way too much while still leaving me with practically no idea as to what the film is actually about.  

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I always find it funny when Smith complains he can't find funding for distribution for his blatant nepotism project, and then the trailer comes out and everyone's like... oh... 

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That "Colleen squared" line in the Yoga Hosers trailer grinds my gears.  Doubling something is not the same as squaring it!  How would you even raise a person to the second power?  It's impossible!  Argh!

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1 hour ago, S.K.o.S. said:

That "Colleen squared" line in the Yoga Hosers trailer grinds my gears.  Doubling something is not the same as squaring it!  How would you even raise a person to the second power?  It's impossible!  Argh!

Perpetuating math inaccuracies also drives me crazy since part of my job is conducting statistical analysis on the data gleaned from Soldier input into the training sims I help manage.

A single person is one and one cannot be raised or lowered by any order of magnitude and not either be one or negative one.

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1 hour ago, RIPPA said:

I haven't decided who Smith wants to sleep with more - Depp's daughter or his own daughter

 

Peep, the hot gym teacher, Ms. Wicklund.  That's Genesis Rodriquez. I think she's the one Smith wants to sleep with. 

Her character from Tusk will be in Moose Jaws aka the third film of this ridiculous Kevin Smith horror comedy trilogy thing.and she's in this movie as well.

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13 minutes ago, Brian Fowler said:

..... So, when does Mallbrats come out?

Yeah, there is no way I could direct my own daughter and her best friend during the "sex in an extremely uncomfortable place" discussion scene from Mallrats.

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2 hours ago, Dolfan in NYC said:

I always find it funny when Smith complains he can't find funding for distribution for his blatant nepotism project, and then the trailer comes out and everyone's like... oh... 

To be fair, he couldn't secure proper distribution for his last two films either.  It really tells you all you need to know, that the same studios and theaters which were happy to put their names on some boring junk like Jersey Girl and Cop Out were then too chickenshit to try some genuinely different and challenging material like Red State and Tusk.  

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Red State was fairly decent if unfocused, but the films of the True North trilogy are turning out to be the worst pieces of self indulgence since the Human Centipede movies.

Kevin Smith is making films that only he or people like him would watch.

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I wish I knew what the hell he was thinking with these movies. Well, actually, I do know. He stated pretty flatly that he's making movies he would like. I feel like some of this is a response to people crapping on him for making Jay and Bob movies.

Well, after Yoga Hosers it's Moose Jaws and then finally something that sounds better, like the Hit Somebody miniseries or Mallrats 2, if either of them even happen now. 

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