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MARCH 2015 MOVIE THREAD

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So the wife says "Hey, you wanna go to a movie?" I'm always up for that, so...

Focus - Will Smith is Nicky, an uber-accomplished thief and con man who runs a crime ring that targets major sporting events. Margot Robbie is Jess, a small-time criminal who tries to rob Nicky but ends up joining his team instead. What follows is 2 hours of pickpocketing (the scene of them in New Orleans ripping people off will probably terrify every tourist - the little bit with them stealing a camera lens is dead-on), capers, and double crosses. It's a fun time but...never quite gets there. This is a movie that's supposed to be style over substance, to be super-slick and super-cool and just isn't quite slick or cool enough. There's a couple things that strain believability (like the setup for one crime that simply would never happen) as well. And the pacing is a little off, with some scenes that simply move too slow or are too long. They probably could have chopped about 15 minutes off and improved the movie. The cast is great and it's certainly nice to stare at Margot Robbie in super-sexy outfits for 2 hours but it ends up being not quite enough. 6/10.

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 What follows is 2 hours of pickpocketing (the scene of them in New Orleans ripping people off will probably terrify every tourist - the little bit with them stealing a camera lens is dead-on), capers, and double crosses.

 

Eh, this reminds me a bit of the problem people had with Gone in 60 Seconds.

 

Like, at some point most people have probably been pick-pocketed or had their car stolen from...and it's pretty awful. So maybe making a movie saying how awesome these people are isn't the best idea? I mean, at least in Ocean's Eleven they weren't stealing from regular people.

 

Unless the blow is meant to be softened because it's Angelina Jolie and Margot Robbie stealing from you, I don't know...

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Man it is absurd how well AIRPLANE! holds up.  That movie is pushing 4 decades old now. It's old enough that I forget about if for years on end and then see it and realize how much I forgot.

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Jackson's King Kong has been all over cable the past couple months, and I always jump in on it. I. Even buy Jack Black as a "serious" actor in it.

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Addendum to previous post:  What does not hold up so well?  AIRPLANE 2: THE SEQUEL.

 

Everything is less funny by about 30%.

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Man it is absurd how well AIRPLANE! holds up.  That movie is pushing 4 decades old now. It's old enough that I forget about if for years on end and then see it and realize how much I forgot.

 

'No, thank you, I take it black...like my men' is still my favourite 'totally wouldn't get away with saying that in 2015' line of all time.

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The entire "I speak jive" scene...

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"Ah yes, I had the lasagna"

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The second Airplane! movie was such a disappointment, almost an embarrassment compared to the first one. The first one is probably my all-time favourite comedy -- and it's eminently quotable, much to the chagrin of everyone around me.

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So the wife says "Hey, you wanna go to a movie?" I'm always up for that, so...

Focus - Will Smith is Nicky, an uber-accomplished thief and con man who runs a crime ring that targets major sporting events. Margot Robbie is Jess, a small-time criminal who tries to rob Nicky but ends up joining his team instead. What follows is 2 hours of pickpocketing (the scene of them in New Orleans ripping people off will probably terrify every tourist - the little bit with them stealing a camera lens is dead-on), capers, and double crosses. It's a fun time but...never quite gets there. This is a movie that's supposed to be style over substance, to be super-slick and super-cool and just isn't quite slick or cool enough. There's a couple things that strain believability (like the setup for one crime that simply would never happen) as well. And the pacing is a little off, with some scenes that simply move too slow or are too long. They probably could have chopped about 15 minutes off and improved the movie. The cast is great and it's certainly nice to stare at Margot Robbie in super-sexy outfits for 2 hours but it ends up being not quite enough. 6/10.

Was there a scene where Will goes "Psshh... naw"

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So the wife says "Hey, you wanna go to a movie?" I'm always up for that, so...

Focus - Will Smith is Nicky, an uber-accomplished thief and con man who runs a crime ring that targets major sporting events. Margot Robbie is Jess, a small-time criminal who tries to rob Nicky but ends up joining his team instead. What follows is 2 hours of pickpocketing (the scene of them in New Orleans ripping people off will probably terrify every tourist - the little bit with them stealing a camera lens is dead-on), capers, and double crosses. It's a fun time but...never quite gets there. This is a movie that's supposed to be style over substance, to be super-slick and super-cool and just isn't quite slick or cool enough. There's a couple things that strain believability (like the setup for one crime that simply would never happen) as well. And the pacing is a little off, with some scenes that simply move too slow or are too long. They probably could have chopped about 15 minutes off and improved the movie. The cast is great and it's certainly nice to stare at Margot Robbie in super-sexy outfits for 2 hours but it ends up being not quite enough. 6/10.

Did you get the feeling they were having a "Mr and Mrs Smith" type connection?

Plenty of people that have seen it tell me they think Robbie and Smith have some seriously natural chemistry.

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They had great chemistry, no doubt. Can't say I got the off-screen relationship vibe but wasn't looking either.

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Not really anything to do with, well, anything, but remember that story about Lupita Nyong'o's 6,000 Pearl-strewn Oscar dress getting stolen?

 

So anyway, the thief ended up dropping it off at some hotel, then called TMZ to complain about how all the pearls on the dress were fake. He found out when he tried to pawn it. He complained about Calvin Klein and Lupita lying about it being real and being worth a fortune.

 

A thief complaining about dishonesty amuses me more than it should. That's some Alanis Morisette shit right there. 

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They had great chemistry, no doubt. Can't say I got the off-screen relationship vibe but wasn't looking either.

 

I'd hate to see Will leave Jada for Margot.

 

Obviously, it's bad to see any 20 year marriage end, but it would inevitably lead to lengthy nihilistic, Nietzsche-style rants from Jaden Smith on twitter about the futile nature of love and life in general.

 

While he tried to teach his new stepmother about holographic realities. 

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They supposedly have an open marriage. Beyond that, Jada has come across as so unlikable in every interview or story about her that I can't believe Will lasted 20 minutes with her, let alone 20 years.

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In fairness to Jada, if I had to deal with Willow and Jaden on a daily basis, I'd be a little bitchy too.

 

It must be like having Rusty Cohl for a kid. Every family dinner probably turns into some philosophical debate about the fourth dimension and its place in the time-space continuum. 

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Guys... The 2014 RoboCop is actually pretty good. Not a patch on the original, but pretty good.

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They had great chemistry, no doubt. Can't say I got the off-screen relationship vibe but wasn't looking either.

 

I'd hate to see Will leave Jada for Margot.

 

Obviously, it's bad to see any 20 year marriage end, but it would inevitably lead to lengthy nihilistic, Nietzsche-style rants from Jaden Smith on twitter about the futile nature of love and life in general.

 

While he tried to teach his new stepmother about holographic realities. 

 

 

You.....don't....want to see that?

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I wish Jaden could be 1/10th as interesting on-screen as he is off-screen.

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Guys... The 2014 RoboCop is actually pretty good. Not a patch on the original, but pretty good.

 

I watched it last night. Strangely enough, I thought everything in the movie was awesome except the parts with Robocop. Keaton, Oldham, Sam Jackson, Rorshach, even the dweeby guy from Tropic Thunder were all tremendous - so much so I actually couldn't wait for the dull and frequently nonsensical Robocop parts to finish so we could get back to them. 

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They had great chemistry, no doubt. Can't say I got the off-screen relationship vibe but wasn't looking either.

 

I'd hate to see Will leave Jada for Margot.

 

Obviously, it's bad to see any 20 year marriage end, but it would inevitably lead to lengthy nihilistic, Nietzsche-style rants from Jaden Smith on twitter about the futile nature of love and life in general.

 

While he tried to teach his new stepmother about holographic realities. 

 

 

You.....don't....want to see that?

 

 

Seriously. I love reading his crazy rants. He's like a less threatening Mike Tyson.

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We now live in a world where the #1 movie in the country stars Die Antwoord. Not only that, but Yolandi Visser is essentially the heart of the film and runs with it like a motherfucker.

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*the #1 movie in the country while also being regarded as a pretty big flop.

Be interesting to see if Fox sticks with Blomkamp on the Alien sequel after this.

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Kill the Messenger was great because Jeremy Renner. The story is better told on the Rick Ross doc on Al Jazeera, but... Jeremy Renner. Fuck that guy kills it every time.

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The Freeway Ricky Ross story needs to be told, but I'm not sure if Kill the Messenger was it. Still a good movie though.

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