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♫ Well, Shane McMahon had done it, The Smackdown gang had won it, With Michael Cole clucking all the while, Bray Wyatt's tragic illness made us smile, Matt Hardy lay unconscious on the bathroom tile....♫

Shane: I've decided to bring in a few ringers, free agent wrestlers. We'll give them token independent contracts on Smackdown and have them compete on our Survivor Series team. Farmer Burns, George Hackenschmidt, Ed "Strangler" Lewis.... Bryan: Uh, sir? Shane: What is it, Bryan? Bryan: I'm afraid all of those wrestlers have retired and, uh... passed on. In fact, your team captain has been dead for a hundred and thirty years. Shane: Damnation! Alright, find me some good wrestlers. LIVING wrestlers! Scour every promotion there is. New Japan, Ring of Honor, the AWA!

I thought Shane was going to go out and do an interview consisting of nothing but Steven Seagal movie references. "You know, Kurt, you found out at King of the Ring once that I'm Hard to Kill, and I'm here to remind you that you're certainly not Above the Law. At Survivor Series, Smackdown Live is going to be Out for Justice."

Neville's final appearance on WWE programming? https://streamable.com/c9eai

Sami proving why he's a babyface.

It was also a nice reminder that The New Day are only babyfaces because they are choosing to target unpopular people in their bullying. But they are essentially still an awesome combination of: 1) privileged jump-suit wearing jock bullies who stalk and torment the weak 2) mean nerds who intellectually bully those who aren't meme-hip enough Tonight they got to release a little of that essential heel energy and it's amazing how fast they took to it. They are only babyfaces so long as we are in denial of the true nature and so long as we don't like the people they are bullying. It's a brilliantly cruel gimmick and this weird booking wormhole reminded of it.

Shane McMahon is that douche boss who goes fucking nuts about the tug o War at the company picnic.

This was the best Enzo promo ever

I had the chili in catering and now I feel the Fire Down Below.

Becky was playing for blood.

I can't wait until next week, when Finn interrupts Kane and tells him he's awakened the demon within and then Michael Cole wonders outloud what could Finn Balor possibly mean by that.

So you don't want to read my fanfic about how KO and his wife are secret agents working for the Canadian government, and they were called in by the Prime Minister to infiltrate an illegal gambling operation that was taking bets on curling in the stock room of a Tim Hortons? I promise there aren't that many Alan Thicke jokes in it.

Or intramural softball season...

So she copied Bayley's version perfectly.

That Smackdown sustained beatdown was way more fun than it had any right to be. Only way it could have been better was Shane saying, "I still remember King of the Ring" and beaning Angle with the mic. SDL will be fun tomorrow.

Goddammit. Robert Guillaume passed away at the age of 89. Benson. Rafiki. Isaac Jaffe. The Phantom of the Opera. Something he did affected everybody at least from the 70s to the 90s.

Alica Fox should announce her team members being: The Fabulous Moolah, Mae Young's hand child, Chyna's tranny friend Sammy that caused Mark Henry to proclaim, "You got a penis!", Sister Abigail, and Rockin' Robin. That's when Kurt Angle has Alicia Fox committed to the same asylum that housed Ric Flair and Scott Hall.

Is that like the Brute Squad?

I'm gonna need Shane firing Sami tomorrow night for not getting rid of those sideburns.

Does Smackdown really want to escalate things with RAW? All Kurt has to do is make one phone call to Pensacola and suddenly everyone on Smackdown has the mumps.

When Smackdown ambushed Raw. #UnderSiege

btw, can Drew Gulak just cut all of Enzo's promos for him from now on? That promo was brilliant.

Just in time for WWE 2K18. Finisher stealing!

I love Sami obnoxiously skanking in Shane's face. The only way it could have been better is Sami taking a drag from a clove cigarette and blowing it in Shane's face.

Being a drummer for Spinal Tap is less hazardous than being a Sixers first round draft pick.

Dodgers left Curtis Granderson off the WS roster, denying him of his first and possibly only Series appearance. Fuck them.

New Day/Usos vs Shield/Bar would be amazing, hot as hell, and fit super-cleanly into 5v5 so we'll get nothing of the sort.

Things are apparently looking better in the KO household. Thank goodness. BTW, people are speculating wildly over what happened. Do not be one of them.

I would like to say that HHH wants to show that Asuka is moving up in competition by moving from NXT to RAW, but that is dumb because some of the women that Asuka has already beaten the shit out of are on the RAW roster so she doesn't have anything to prove to anyone. Asuka should be stomping the frog water out of anyone in front of her.

Yeah all those Brody stories always sounded like horse shit. Brody may have enjoyed burning bridges but behind every example he was either trying to protect himself or felt like he wasn't being valued properly. Cutting off ties to WWF doesn't jive at all with him wanting to make as much money as possible, and neither does him being beholden to any group of promoters conspiring nefariously. As for a Hogan feud? I reckon it would've been fantastic as a short term programme ala Zeus

Team Smackdown was just lucky Mark Henry wasn't there to magically get in front of them and then get outpaced.

I have a feeling this will be great only in non-canon social media stuff (as seen above) and in fantasy booking.

I dunno, I loved it as a kid. The mummy grabs people and their skin immediately starts melting! That's awesome. The zombie massacre at the end was the cherry on top. But you love trash like that when you're a kid and your parents think you're watching some crap mummy flick but it's really a gorefest. A crap gorefest, but a gorefest nonetheless.

It's confusion. No one wants to boo New Day or Becky, but they were being assholes, so it puts them in a weird spot.

Jesus every gif I love this more.

Sasha was going to beat the hell out of Hype Bros

Smackdown begins with Bo Dallas and Bray Wyatt running into the ring. Show immediately ends.

Btw, Gable immediately going after Jordan in the lockerroom was a nice touch.

Let's not overlook that Booker T is on literal fire lately. He was so awesome in his Dusty-level batshit comentary. "Elias was just defending himself. Jason Jordan out there runnin' all around doin' all illegal shit. All Sniffing around and jumping up and down, knocking shit over. Good on Elias! Shut up Cole! Damn."

All those babyfaces I am told like to have fun and put smiles on the crowd's faces randomly decided to hang out with their brand's hated heels and put a gangland style beat down on random people. Also, you have to heat up Kane for Braun, so you have Kane beat Finn. Braun, of course, needs to be rehabbed because he was easily defeated by Brock Lesnar, who had to be kept strong to lose to Roman. This has been a objectionably terrible year for WWE booking.

We've waited far too fucking long for Cyndi Lauper to get into the Hall of Fame. FFS, Bruno's even in.

How do people not love that Kurt is incapable of breaking character no matter where/what he is/doing. This is the guy he is. Heel or face. It doesn't matter what outfit you put him in. He is only capable of two emotions: "Clueless happy jock dude" and "guy who will give you a running start before he kills you."

I don't think there's been a game as difficult and fun at the same time as Cuphead. They really nailed it. I've spent an hour or so on some of the bosses and not once did I feel like the game was cheating me. Such a breath of fresh air.