[WWE NETWORK] What Are You Watching?

[cwoy2j]

Just watched the main event from Starrcade '97 for the first time in at least 10 years or more. Holy fucking shit, it's even worse than I remember and I probably felt that way when I last watched it. In fact, it's so bad, every time I go back and watch it looks worse and worse. I think as a kid I just wanted Sting to beat the shit out of Hogan, no-selling everything. Instead, Sting bumps around for Hogan like a pinfall and just lays there for a normal speed three count. I feel that same way as an adult.

 

Sting should have been channeling Vader.

 

Hogan on the other hand was so goddamn funny. If it was him against any other opponent and not at Starrcade, I would have been ok with it. He talks so much shit the entire match. Scumbag heels coming up now should watch that match just to see what the template is for being a scumbag heel. Hollywood SCUM Hogan, indeed.

 

That's the one thing I didn't get about the supposed fast count, Sting didn't even kick out as far as I remember. Even if the count was fast, he was still on his back.

[Ace]

Uh, is this Cena/Wiz Khalifa thing new?

 

They recorded a song for WWE 2K15, so... relatively.

[cwoy2j]

Also, LOL at Schlitz Malt Liquor sponsoring the first Slammy Awards.

[hammerva]

It looks like they are going to add TNT episodes to the Network soon.  So that is good.  

 

Watched a little of the 1994 Slammy's and i think the only thing I pop for is the Genesis and Super Nintendo commercials shown.   Completely forgot about that Stephanie Wiland co-host period.  Man it is like the campy morning talk bullshit of Pettengil and upped it 50.  

[Josh Mann]

It looks like they are going to add TNT episodes to the Network soon. So that is good.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Petey]

 

 

I am surprised at how much I enjoy late 1995 WWF. They're starting to find their stride a bit. Nash also was a damn hard worker and actually more fun to watch than I expected as I was coming into his title reign. Sure, there were some stinkers - KotR 1995 still sucks on re-watch - but a lot of this stuff is really fun.

Watts was in for a few weeks you know.

 

 

Did he book the giant beatdowns like the one where Yoko, Mabel, Owen, and Bulldog beat the shit out of Diesel and HBK and Bulldog pinned Dieselor the one on RAW where like eight guys straight jacked Diesel and 'Taker? Those were awesome on a "Nexus rips up ringside and beats up Cena" level. 

 

I'm to the 11-20-95 episode right now, so I'm looking forward to seeing that again in the next couple of days. 

 

99% sure Watts booked that angle. He wasn't around long though, although long enough to get Russo's foot in the door.

[SirSmUgly]

Watching Rumble '91 and Savage's initial attack on Warrior is amazing. He picked up that light and dumped it on Warrior, which got a legit "holy shit" from me. Dude was totally out of control during that run-in in a good way. 

 

Slaughter/Warrior is one of those matches where it gets elevated to really fun because of the booking and layout even if the wrestling itself isn't anything great (though Slaughter's over-the-corner bump to the outside is awesome, of course). 

[Josh Mann]

One of the 15,000 voices you hear chanting BULLSHIT after that match was mine. Good times.

[Niners Fan in CT]

That was a really fun match that is unlike anything else going on at the time. Macho was just on another level as we know.

[Hamhock]

One of the 15,000 voices you hear chanting BULLSHIT after that match was mine. Good times.

Me as well; oh for the days of buying ringside seats for pocket money.

[hayabusaage]

I hope that some AWA stuff gets uploaded soon....just realized that most of the Hulkamania Era WWF talent was from there.

 

I NEED to see Mr Perfect & Razor Ramon as a tag-team.

[clintthecrippler]

Viewing the Saturday Night Main Event from right before Wrestlemania III, two random observations:

 

1. It's stunning how much the opening segment, with brief 20-second promos from each wrestler highlighted on the show got me way more excited to watch this than the "last week on RAW/followed by 20-minute opening promo" gets me for RAW. I definitely think it would be worth experimenting with doing something like that at the start of RAW every now and then - or even an episode where they have one of these at the start of every hour. It just seems like the more I watch '80s WWF that little touches that were meant to draw the casual viewer back then and get them caught up on storylines quickly could be easily more effective even in 2014 than the current formula.

 

2. I know the touring cycles were different back then, but it also seems nuts in hindsight that they ran a major Saturday Night's Main Event taping in Detroit a mere five weeks before they were back in the area for Wrestlemania III. It's a good testament to how hot the WWF product was back then that they drew 20,000 people for this taping and then fairly immediately after filled the Silverdome.

[Shane]

Watching the early episodes of TNT they put up. What a bizarre show. I don't remember there being as much wrestling as there is, but some of the promos and skits are bonkers. I'd seen it before, but the Dr. D "Cribs" segment in particular is something that would never fly today.

[Josh Mann]

Before there was Stand Back, there was Vince dancing a polka.

That and the Paul Orndorff vignettes were A+.

[Vincey Greene]

Watching an old RAW from early '96, and despite the oft-told story about tea, Vince McMahon repeatedly refers to Ringmaster as being "stone cold".

 

 

Coincidence or nah?

[sydneybrown]

Watching an old RAW from early '96, and despite the oft-told story about tea, Vince McMahon repeatedly refers to Ringmaster as being "stone cold".

 

 

Coincidence or nah?

 

Ringmaster only lasted two-three sets of TV tapings before being changed, and most likely Vince was starting the transition from the Ringmaster gimmick to the Stone Cold one.  Vince was never one for subtly on commentary, if he was saying it repeatedly, it was on purpose.

[hammerva]

The newest Monday Night War is pretty dull but it did have a great line by Dean Ambrose talking about the factions growing in WWF 1997.  Something like "you are peanut butter, you are jelly, you are bread.  well are you going to just sit there or are you going to make some sandwiches".   That sounds like something Rex Ryan during his extra fat head coaching days would say  

[lovchunky]

Prime Time Wrestling starting to go up. I wish they would start with episode one. Any chance those tapes no longer exist in full?

[Niners Fan in CT]

This is what we all wanted. Let's go!

[Craig H]

The Heyman doc is up on the Network now too. It was...ok. I think the greater value probably came for the matches on the Blu-ray set, but the doc was fine. I think part of the problem I had was on me because I heard many of these stories on the podcasts Heyman was a guest on.

[hammerva]

It is weird that they starting around April 86 with the Prime time wrestling since they have 1985 stuff on WWE 24/7.  Or it is going to be like WCCW where it is just a uncoordinated mess for awhile

 

Oh well better than nothing

[Greggulator]

NXT 10/3/13 -- Emma/Santino vs. Fandango/Summer Rae

Cheating a bit because I couldn't find it on the Network. But in honor of tonight's NXT spectacular, I want to review one of my all-time favorite NXT matches. I put this match on my list of 2013 MOTYCs. It's such a great comedy match. One of my favorite DVDVR reviews was of some random WCW match pitting the latter day Freebirds (w/ Badstreet and about 1,000 managers/valets) against Tracy Smothers/Dustin Rhodes/Steve Armstrong. I haven't seen that match, but it sounds like everything I love about wrestling.

I mean, I love actual great wrestling matches. But whenever I talk about wrestling with my friends who don't really watch anymore, we don't talk about that five-star match between Austin/Bret or whatever. We talk about stuff like when Justin Credible told Tommy Dreamer he wished he was dead instead of his grandfather and Referee Bill Alfonso. We talk about stuff like Cheatum The Midget and the Dynamic Dudes and Sexual Chocolate and Skandor Akbar claiming he has limitless oil wealth and wants to use it to take over a Texan wrestling promotion of all things. That's why I watch and love wrestling.

This match starts NXT. Fandango and Summer Rae start off with their dance routine and the NXT crowd, duh, es doing Fandango's theme song. The NXT crowd is exactly what I want a wrestling crowd to be. ECW had an incredible atmosphere. But now I'm 36 and have a mortgage (multiple ones, in fact, due to poor timing of the Philadelphia real estate market). I'd never go to ECW today due to my aversion to people with prison tattoos. But NXT? I'm going to go to this one day.

Emma comes out next doing her dance. This is peak Emma right now -- totally clueless with no self-awareness and the best. Renee Young comes out to interview Emma mid-introduction. "Emma, do you have a partner?" "Yes, Renee, of course I do." She doesn't say who... and then cue up Santino's modern day opera! They try to do a joint entrance but can't get on the same page, with Santino trying to do the Emma Dance while Emma power walks. Eventually, they settle what to do and both do the Emma dance. Emma then does her iffy Skin The Cat bit. Santino then tries the same, but gets stuck on the top rope. Emma then assists Santino.

So right there, you have the pairing -- the smug Fandango and awful person Summer Rae have a sense of "We are awesome and you should love us" because they actually know how to dance. But Emma and Summer Rae are both lovable goofballs who don't quite understand how they come off, and the crowd loves them. I agree with the crowd. This Is Awesome.

Fandango goes to the ropes to bask in the glory that does not come. Santino then does the same but naturally slips. The crowd chants one more time while Fandango points and mocks him. And he does it one more time. He precariously goes to the second rope before getting his just cheers. Then we have a dance off as Fandango does his graceful dancing to boos. Santino then does a mocking version of this that ends with him doing a butt shot to a disgusted Fandango. The crowd chants "You've Got Served."

 

Fandango gets brief control while Summer Rae does amazing fawning heeling on the apron. Santino eventually hops over him in the corner and shows The Cobra! Fandango has a panic attack as he rolls out of the ring. Summer Rae rushes over to console her meal ticket. Then Emma comes into the ring with Santino and makes him do Cobras with both hands before turning that into The Emma Dance. The crowd is eating this up.

We then go to a commercial break. The first segment of this match is a bunch of dance offs that get the faces over like mad while the heels look like absolutely pathetic people. Their smug dance routine that they think is so awesome is dwarfed by these two clowns doing there version of the art of body movement. Fandango is incredibly scared of the intentionally dumbest finishing move of all-time. There has been maybe 15 seconds of actual wrestling in this. This is PERFECT wrestling ridiculousness.

We come back with Fandango in control and Summer Rae taunting Emma across the ring. Whoever the play-by-play guy asks Renee what her experiences with Fandango have been like. "Whenever I interview him, he touches my face." Fandango and Summer Rae also supposedly have a cat they bring to fashion shows. That is why Renee is number one and the best -- weird tidbits like that just add to the surrealism that makes wrestling my favorite art form. Wrestling is an athletic competition, but the characters are so ridiculous they think touching faces and violating personal space is fine. Remember when drunk Joe Namath tried to make out with Suzy Colber and the outrage it caused? In wrestling, that's just slightly uncomfortable. But Renee and the announcers treat this like a serious athletic competition. That rules.

Anyways, Fandango actually works Santino over with basic offense. Summer Rae chokes him on the ropes at one point. Santino, looking for the hot tag, leaps to a corner that Emma is not at. Awesome. Summer Rae slaps Santino at one point. That sends Emma running around the ring to get after Summer, but she's stopped by the ref. Santino then tries his ridiculous hot tag but Emma's not there. Awesome.

Santino then tries to two do a kip up but pathetically fails. He tries a second time and fails, too. Fandango then goes for his leg drop from the top but Santino rolls ridiculously to the other corner. A pissed Fandango then goes to the top again. Santino does the same. Fandango now tries to work over Santino, but gets caught in a backslide. Santino FINALLY does his kip up successfully and sommersaults to Emma.

I am a comedian. One of the things in comedy writing (and real writing) is the "Rule Of Three." The number three is so important to the world. It comes from The Holy Trinity. That evolved into three act plays. And in comedy, you try and do bits in multiples of three. The greatest example of this is in The Simpsons episode parody of Cape Fear. Sideshow Bob keeps stepping and stepping on Rakes. I think he does it 21 times -- the joke is funny to start, becomes less funny, but then becomes hilarious and ends on a three. Santino failed to make the hot tag twice. He failed the kip up twice. Then he finally kipped up the third time and made the hot tag the third time. Santino somehow managed to follow classic comedy storytelling for this. That's absolutely amazing. I have no idea if that's an intentional choice. A lot of times in performance art, it's an accidental choice since it's so ingrained in storytelling. Either way, it serves the purpose of The Rule of Three -- it builds anticipation and pays off.

Emma gets the hot tag and gets control. Summer Rae reverses to the corner, mocks Emma's dance, but Emma dodges for the Dilemma. Then she does her sommersault/crossbody thing. Santino then hands her The Cobra cloth and has to tutor her in how to set it up with her arms. Summer uses this to gain control, with her awesome squeal as she rams Emma's head into the mat. Emma then regains control and shows Fandango the Cobra. He naturally has another panic attack. Summer then tries to get Emma from behind. Emma dodges and throws Summer into Fandango, forcing the tag. Santino runs in with The Cobra on his arm and gets the win. It actually is a bit of a strategy for the faces -- Fandango panics anytime The Cobra is on its way. Emma saw that and used it to her advantage. That led to Santino -- on the third attempt -- finally hitting the move for the win.

The crowd EATS this up. Emma and Santino then do each others famed dances (the trumpet).

This is absolutely brilliant and one of my favorite matches of all-time.

Also, the show ends with the delusional Bo Dallas in the Bo Dallas Invitiational. Bo says he's going to give a new up-and-comer a chance at his championship if he loses. Some jobber comes out. Bo takes him out easily and works shockingly stiff. Good job. Bo wants another RSVP for the Invitational! This brings out Leo Kruger (now Adam Rose). But Cesaro runs out of nowhere (I forgot their feud). Cesaro takes Leo out of the ring. And then Bo sends Cesaro out of the ring. Immediately, some unrecognizable music plays and El Local appears. It's obviously Sami Zane, but Bo has no idea. El Local cleanly beats Bo with the running boot. He then makes the "I want the belt" gesture as Alex Riley sells disbelief that an unknown competitor could defeat Bo Dallas. I forget the set-up, but Sami for some reason was banned from the Invitational. (Again, The Rule Of Three). They build until Sami takes off the mask and reveals his true identity as Bo sells a panic attack.

Awesome and perfect NXT.
 

[sydneybrown]

Prime Time Wrestling starting to go up. I wish they would start with episode one. Any chance those tapes no longer exist in full?

 

The first Prime Time once aired on 24/7 so it does exist.  It was hosted by Jack Reynolds and Jesse Ventura and it was really terrible.  Jesse was just starting as a heel commentator and it took him a little while to find his niche.  IIRC, he spent the whole time trashing everyone and talking about how great he was.

 

If they started with April 86, it's because that's when Bobby Heenan replaced Jesse and it became the PrimeTime we all know and love.

[Hollywood Cibernetico]

I am watching the first episode of Tuesday Night Titans as well. Would it kill WWE to have a 'What's New!' banner at the top of the home page letting you know what new stuff is available? WWE also needs to stop keeping The Network stuff a top secret. But again...beating a dead horse.

[Buy Me a Burrito]

Watching Prime Time Wrestling.

Monsoon and Heenan are wearing a fuckton of rings.