Jump to content
DVDVR Message Board

Dynamite - 9/8/2021


Recommended Posts

10 hours ago, Jiji said:

I can't write Hook/Colten slashfic that fast, alright? Give me more time.

Mind if I have a go?

10 hours ago, Stefanie the Human said:

You can have all the time you need for a quality product.

Spoiler

BANG BANG CHING BANG

 

“Damn it, Colton! I had a long day and trying to relax before the party,” Hook shouts as he slams on Colton’s door.

 

The door swings open and the Gunn man himself walks out. Dripping and out of breath and he wrings out his colorful sweatband. 

 

“Sorry Hookman, laser focused on my drum solo for the next Gunn Show concert. Dad says if I don’t nail it, he’s gonna...kick my ass.”

 

(LAUGH TRACK)

 

Hook shakes his head as he waits for the hard audience laughter to dissipate. He tussles his hair back and lights a cigarette.

 

“Whatever, man. Just keep it chill and write me that check. Rent is due.”

 

“...oh... About that...” 

 

“COLLLLTENNNN!”

 

What ever happened to good booking?

The Assman, the shark boy, evening gowns and panties

Everywhere you look

Everywhere you go

(There's an armbar)

There's a armbar

A head to lock onto

Everywhere you kick

Everywhere you chop

There's a face

Of somebody who super kicks you 

Everywhere you look

When you're lost out there and you need a tag partner

A good hand is waiting to carry your match

Everywhere you look

Everywhere you look

 

The fridge door is open and food and empty cartons are flying out of it. Hook walks into the kitchen and is started. He looks right. He looks left. Then he looks down.

 

“MARKOOOOO. Get out of our fridge!”

 

Marko pops up.

 

“Sorry, Hook! I’m just so excited for the party I thought I’d get some pre-hang Grub.”

 

Colten jumps into the kitchen, still sweaty.

 

“Did somebody say grub?!”

 

(LAUGH TRACK)

 

Hook shakes his head as he waits for the hard audience laughter to dissipate. He tussles his hair back and lights a cigarette.

 

“Whatever man. People should be showing up any minute.” Hook says, still casually shaking his head. 

 

They walk into the living room which is an exact replica of the living room in the Cosby Show. 

 

Ding dong. 

 

“I’LL GET IT!” Colten sprints to the door. In comes Luchasaurus.

 

“There you are Marko. You sprinted ahead of us.”

 

“I was just too amped up for the party.”

 

“Me too” says shirtless Jungle Boy as he walks in. 

 

(AUDIENCE HOOTS AND HOLLERS)

 

Jungle Boy trying to hide his smile, “so who else said they were coming tonight?”

 

Hook shakes his head as he waits for the hard audience hooting and hollering to dissipate. He tussles his hair back and lights a cigarette. 

 

“Best Friends and maybe a few others.”

 

Colten perks up. “Is Statlander coming?”

 

(AUDIENCE AWES) 

 

Hook shakes his head as he waits for the hard audience awing to dissipate. He tussles his hair back and lights a cigarette. 

 

“Try and stay chill this time.”

 

Marko chuckles, “Aliens weird me out.”

 

“MARKO!” Luchasaurus says disappointedly. “Be respectful.”

 

“Waka waka!” Chuck Taylor burst into the room.

 

“CHUCK!” Everyone yells.

 

Trent limps in with his crutches. “Get me a spot in the couch. This goofball ran the entire way. Try keeping up with that.

 

“YABADABADo!” Chuck says with a smile.

 

“CHUCK!” Everyone yells.

 

(LAUGH TRACK)

 

Hook shakes his head as he waits for the hard audience laughter to dissipate. He tussles his hair back and lights a cigarette.

 

“Grab yourself a seat, Chuckie.”

 

Hook notices Colten hasn’t moved and still has the door open. 

 

“What’s wrong, Gunn? Cat got your tongue?” He reaches over to shut the door and out comes a hand through the door and boops both Hook and Colten on the nose. 

 

(AUDIENCE HOOTS AND HOLLERS)

 

Hook shakes his head as he waits for the hard audience hooting and hollering to dissipate. He tussles his hair back and lights a cigarette. 

 

“Welcome to the party, Kris.”

 

Statlander walks in.

 

Colten even more sweaty, “ah...hey...kr kr kr Kris... how’s it g...going?”

 

Next to Colten’s head slowly enters a half fist kinda thumb up.

 

“Hey honey,” says Kris.

 

Somehow even more sweaty Colten, “yeah... hey Orange.

 

Orange Cassidy casually walks in. 

 

Statlander hugs him and Colten looks down. After kissing Orange on the mouth she asks, “mind getting me a drink?”

 

Orange Cassidy slowly walks to the kitchen.

 

“BEER ME!” Chuck Taylor goofily yells.

 

(LAUGH TRACK)

 

Hook shakes his head as he waits for the hard audience laughter to dissipate. He tussles his hair back and lights a cigarette.

 

“Looks like everyone is here. Might as well get some music playing.”

 

Marko throws his stupid baseball cap to the floor, “I thought more chicks we coming!”

 

Jungle Boy sits next to Trent on the couch and says, AEW books this show so her being here counts as the one women’s segment.”  

 

Statlander steps forward, “you see the thing is - “

 

“AYE CARAMBA!” Chuck Taylor yells.

 

(LAUGH TRACK)

 

Hook shakes his head as he waits for the hard audience laughter to dissipate. He tussles his hair back and lights a cigarette.

 

“What kind of music do you guys want to hear?”

 

LOUD BANG FROM THE KITCHEN

 

The gang runs in and sees Orange Cassidy on the floor with a knife in his back. Orange blood sleeps out of his neck and mouth.

 

“What the?!?!” Everyone yields. 

 

Marko looks at Colten suspiciously, “who here would want to see OC die?”

 

“Oh my God!” Colten more sweaty then ever. “I’m pretty sure I didn’t kill him.

 

(LAUGH TRACK)

 

Hook shakes his head as he waits for the hard audience laughter to dissipate. He tussles his hair back and lights a cigarette.

 

“You goofball. We were all in the same room. In fact we’re all in the same room now...except..”

 

“LUCHASAURUS!” Everyone yells as they run back into the living room to find a pile of dinosaur bones.

 

Jungle Boy drops to his knees and grabs Lucha’s jaw bone. “He was... my best friend.”

 

(AUDIENCE WEEPS)

 

Hook shakes his head as he waits for the hard audience weeping to dissipate. He tussles his hair back and lights a cigarette.

 

“Looks like we got a killer on the loose.”

 

Marko now next to Jungle Boy, “we can rebuild him. The knee bob connects to the shine bone” they hold each other and cry.

 

THE LIGHTS TURN OUT. 

 

Colten sounding super wet “WHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS?!?!” 

 

THE LIGHTS TURN BACK ON.

 

Marko has a large arm bone attached to his face bone. Jungle Boy is missing. 

 

Practically water Colten puts his sopping wet hands on his drippy forehead, “WHERE’s Jungle Boy?!”

 

A scream is heard in the kitchen. 

 

Everyone runs in the kitchen. On top of the counter is a lifeless Jungle Boy with the word “ABADON” carved into his sexy chest.

 

THE LIGHTS TURN OUT. 

 

Barely audible over the sounds of the waterfall coming out of Colten’s forehead “NOT AGAAAAIN!”

 

THE LIGHTS TURN BACK ON.

 

And there she is, chewing on Trent’s ripped off leg. The monster ABADON.

 

Everyone screams and runs into the living room. ABADON chases after. They go into the closet and comically come out of the side room. ABADON follows. Hilariously they run up the stairs and come out the closet. ABADON follows. ABADON then slips on a puddle of Colten’s sweat. The couch falls on top of her. Kris Boops her nose. ABADON give out a loud male grown.

 

Hook walks over and grabs her hair.

 

“Now let’s really see who this ABADON really is”

 

Hook pulls off the mask.

 

“BILLY GUNN?!?!” Everyone yells.

 

“Why did you do it, dad?” Says the Atlantic Ocean that was once Colten Gunn.

 

Mr Ass with a scowl, “You should be playing the fucking drums right now!”

 

“I’m sorry, dad. But you have to go to jail now.” Says insert water joke here.

 

“I would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for you meddling kids and that Alien of yours”

 

(AUDIENCE CHEERS)

 

Hook shakes his head as he waits for the hard audience cheering to dissipate. He tussles his hair back and lights a cigarette.

 

CREDITS ROLL

 

Edited by Octopus
added spoiler tag. Sorry, Twiztor!
  • Thanks 3
  • Haha 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

@Stefanie the Humanhit on some of my biggest gripes. The lack of stories for the women is sad.  Their match is often in the death slot of the seventh quarter-hour, to cool down the crowd before the main event. They push no other women beside Britt Baker. Hikaru Shida was champion for over a year, yet she can't get any TV time these days. Nyla Rose isn't in a much better spot. Big Swole and Diamante's feud should have been featured on Dynamite. Hopefully with the arrival of Ruby Soho, we'll see the women's division get more focus. Though Ruby getting her big moment on All Out only because of PAC's travel issues doesn't give me a lot of hope.

But at least the women who've been champion have been diverse. That's more than I can say for the men. Save for Scorpio Sky and now the Lucha Bros, no man of color has been in a high spot. It looked like Sky was going to get a solo push, but he's back in a tag team. It reeks of AEW being a private club where only those with big names or who are friends of The Elite. Someone recently put together a list of 500 black wrestlers, many of whom are indie. AEW could have easily signed several of these wrestlers, but are just now getting around to offering Lee Moriarty a contract. The excuse of them still being a young company doesn't fly with me. If anything, that means they can look at decades of wrestling being embarrassingly late to diversify and avoid the same problems. Powerhouse Hobbs and Ricky Starks are being set up to work with Punk, it seems. So maybe things will get better on that front, too.

I have some other issues with AEW, but those two are huge. They built their company on a platform of inclusivity, but I'm not seeing it.

  • Like 5
  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

29 minutes ago, Matt D said:

I’m starting to come to the conclusion that the best way to consume AEW for me is just to watch everything but Dynamite. 

I wouldn’t blame you. While I enjoy Nitro, I would probably rather at times have all of ‘96 Saturday Night. Same with Dark & Dynamite. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 9/9/2021 at 8:00 PM, NoFistsJustFlips said:

No, that's a pretty fair shot I'll allow it lol.

All I'm saying is this is a wrestling bubble talking point that doesn't exist in regular episodic TV. Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, The Wire, Sons Of Anarchy, Dexter... whatever the episodic TV show is they reward viewers that pay attention. They don't hold anyone's hand and explain why you need to pay attention to whoever. Like Game of Thrones didn't role a clip show to people tuning into the last season to explain who Gendry is while Arya is trying to bang him. They did a recap before the show. If that isn't enough, it's on you to figure it out. And I'm in that boat as well. Sometimes there are things I don't remember and I look it up.

I wanted to address this 'prestige' television concept as it came up later in the next few pages. I think one of the issues with treating wrestling in that format is that wrestling as a story is always ongoing. Television shows like Game of Thrones or Breaking Bad have a season of new episodes, stop and then start up again. This gives us a chance to go back and study the limited content in whole as there is nothing new to engage the audience. I think its much more rare for someone to go back and watch a whole wrestling television show although I certainly think people go back to segments or matches. This ala cart veiwing may actually hurt my argument, I'm not sure as there are so many narratives going at the same time so I could possibly examine "Cameron Grimes being rich" in depth much more quickly than I could watch a whole season of Breaking Bad (but it might take more time to find all of those individual segments and order them correctly). 

But I think in general, wrestling is a nesesarily disposable from of entertainment where you watch the show once and never watch the whole show ever again. Because there's another show coming on in less than a week and then another every week forever. A hardcore AEW fan has 4 shows of wrestling a week plus Sammy Vlogs plus BTE plus whatever else content. How are they going to go back to study nuances when its a marathon just to keep up with the current output? 

 

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 hours ago, NoFistsJustFlips said:


Also agree on the lack of diversity. They have some good Latino representation hoovering around the top (Lucha Bros & Andrade). But they need to get some more people of color into the mix. Hobbs is a good start, a program with Punk will raise his stock. But again they can do better.

Hire Isaiah Broner you cowards!

 

 

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

19 minutes ago, LoneWolf&Subs said:

I think Alex Kane from that same show would be the most TV ready guy. I did hear something about MLW, but I don’t believe their contracts are ironclad anymore.

Hell yes, Alex Kane.  I'M CLOCKED IN AND YOOOOOUUUUUUU ARE ABOUT TO GET ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL OF THIS WORK.

LOL @ MLW.  I just saw Bobby Fish signed with them?  At this rate, MLW is about as solid as the Wrestling Retribution Project.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 hours ago, NoFistsJustFlips said:

Also agree on the lack of diversity. They have some good Latino representation hoovering around the top (Lucha Bros & Andrade). But they need to get some more people of color into the mix. Hobbs is a good start, a program with Punk will raise his stock. But again they can do better.

Khan in the last week has shown interest in Lee Moriarty and Lio Rush, so that gives some sense of well, something at least. It's a very crowded top of the card right now with the new talent they've brought in and some of the ones on their way though.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As far as the amount of time the women have gotten on Dynamite, I do think it’s important to keep in mind that the vast majority of AEW’s women’s roster has been composed of developmental talents who are largely not ready to be put on prime time TV on a weekly basis. Honestly, they are doing most of these green talents a long-term favor by NOT putting them in positions to be exposed as such on a regular basis. Like, there is zero doubt that Abadon is in a much better place career-wise right now having people wanting to see more of her, rather than if she had been on Dynamite stinking out the joint every other week or whatever. Most of them are better off focusing on getting better on Dark (where they can be saved in the editing booth) and then making the most of their live Dynamite opportunities when they come around.

A great example of this is Red Velvet, who is a promising young talent but was put in a spot she was not at all ready for in a title program with Britt and is now essentially a heel with the audience (to the extent that they care about her at all) because she was so bad in that program.

Edited by EVA
  • Like 7
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was thinking of the women that are able to really go in the ring and wouldn't be exposed in 10-15 minute matches on a regular basis. Deeb, Shida (she's inconsistent and sometimes seems to forget where she is in the match but still good), Rosa, Hayter, Emi (has a lot of mileage and isn't physically able to do a lot of her moves as crisp as she once could but she's still smart), Riho, Soho, and Yuka. Statlander, Conti, Britt, and Nyla are in that group that's almost there but when they are put in those longer matches sometimes you can tell a match drags or is inconsistent imo. Like Britt/Statlander overall was a very good match but the first half struggled for flow and cohesion, but they definitely got everybody on board for the last half, which is most important. While they've come along way in terms of their women's roster and the booking has shown small, incremental improvement, it's obviously not enough. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I thought Britt and Statlander was maybe the 2nd or 3rd best match of the night, to be honest. Thought it was fantastic from bell to bell. Their women's roster right now is very impressive. I also understand the thought that maybe the women aren't getting enough storylines or attention, but I think they are. The thing they're not getting is enough match time on Dynamite, but I think that's a symptom of trying to put way too much into Dynamite most weeks. You have Ruby feuding with Britt's group, Kris helping Ruby out, Rosa has a storyline going, so does Cargill, and Allie and Penelope have their thing with Tay and Anna. They're all getting attention, I think they just need more time on the mothership show to let the storylines breathe.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

14 hours ago, Burgundy LaRue said:

@Stefanie the Humanhit on some of my biggest gripes. The lack of stories for the women is sad.  Their match is often in the death slot of the seventh quarter-hour, to cool down the crowd before the main event. They push no other women beside Britt Baker. Hikaru Shida was champion for over a year, yet she can't get any TV time these days. Nyla Rose isn't in a much better spot. Big Swole and Diamante's feud should have been featured on Dynamite. Hopefully with the arrival of Ruby Soho, we'll see the women's division get more focus. Though Ruby getting her big moment on All Out only because of PAC's travel issues doesn't give me a lot of hope.

But at least the women who've been champion have been diverse. That's more than I can say for the men. Save for Scorpio Sky and now the Lucha Bros, no man of color has been in a high spot. It looked like Sky was going to get a solo push, but he's back in a tag team. It reeks of AEW being a private club where only those with big names or who are friends of The Elite. Someone recently put together a list of 500 black wrestlers, many of whom are indie. AEW could have easily signed several of these wrestlers, but are just now getting around to offering Lee Moriarty a contract. The excuse of them still being a young company doesn't fly with me. If anything, that means they can look at decades of wrestling being embarrassingly late to diversify and avoid the same problems. Powerhouse Hobbs and Ricky Starks are being set up to work with Punk, it seems. So maybe things will get better on that front, too.

I have some other issues with AEW, but those two are huge. They built their company on a platform of inclusivity, but I'm not seeing it.

With the women they could be given more time but part of the issue is that with the exception of Britt Baker (and Thunder Rosa who they’re obviously trying to keep away from Britt until a ppv), none of the women consistently hit home runs. I recall Big Swole getting really over with the crowds and getting multiple tv matches in a row but she wasn’t very good at wrestling, so I assume they’ve been training her on Dark. Nyla and Kris Statlander had an abysmal ppv match, etc.

I don’t think looking at the champions is fair given the amount of time the company has existed for and how all of the reigns have been long.

And everyone who has been champion makes sense based on how they’ve performed.

You also didn’t count the women title holders which is interesting.

That being said, I think AEW has hired too many people based on what I assume is personal connections over actual talent. That’s the only way I can explain how guys like Joey Janela and the vampire guy that got fired because he was abusive towards women got hired over some of the guys from your list.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

They hired Jimmy Havoc because he was a draw in the UK. They hired Joey Janela because he's a genius, and the best talent scout in the world. And possibly they were thinking of doing a hardcore division  presumably.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

38 minutes ago, AxB said:

They hired Jimmy Havoc because he was a draw in the UK. They hired Joey Janela because he's a genius, and the best talent scout in the world. And possibly they were thinking of doing a hardcore division  presumably.

There are several UK wrestlers significantly better than Havoc they could have signed.

A genius? I very much doubt that (his hype video showed him falling off a building into a dump truck of barbed wire and being injured for months.) and he apparently didn’t do a very good job of scouting black talent, considering the complainants and names people have brought up.

They both were/are not good wrestlers though and those spots could and probably should have gone to wrestlers that are actually good at wrestling and that would appeal to an under served audience in America.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Women get plenty of exposure. Big Swole should not be on national tv. Diamanté should not be on national tv. I know fringe-thinkers like to cannibalise their own but this is early even by their standards. There have been significant issues with their product at times but accusing AEW of lacking inclusivity is gibberish; if anything they’ve variously leaned too far into being politically/socially correct.

Edited by A_K
  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...