Crying

[NikoBaltimore]

 

Maybe now that you're a teenage girl you'll like it more?

 

No, it's a fucking awful movie. Jenny treats Forrest like dogshit, and if Forrest is lucky, then he's treated like an afterthought. When Forrest finally gets his girl, it's only because she's dying of AIDS and she wants to dump her kid, which may or may not be Forrest's, off on him before she dies. She doesn't love Forrest, she only wants to keep using him. None of this even touches on the exploitative nature of the film as we all go HAHA and AWW at the simpleton on screen for 2 1/2 hours. I just feel empathy for Forrest because he gives his heart and soul into so much and that's really all he knows. What does he get for those efforts? He gets to watch a kid that may not be his and he gets to think that he's finally won over Jenny when she has so little time left. He doesn't even get to enjoy a life with her.

 

Well, shit.  When you put it that way it is fucked up.  My interpretation of it does indeed vary from that, hence why I posted that.  But I don't feel I'm alone in that by any means.  Though now I might have to rethink that movie, at least that theme I was going on about.

[scraylo187]

 

 

Maybe now that you're a teenage girl you'll like it more?

 

No, it's a fucking awful movie. Jenny treats Forrest like dogshit, and if Forrest is lucky, then he's treated like an afterthought. When Forrest finally gets his girl, it's only because she's dying of AIDS and she wants to dump her kid, which may or may not be Forrest's, off on him before she dies. She doesn't love Forrest, she only wants to keep using him. None of this even touches on the exploitative nature of the film as we all go HAHA and AWW at the simpleton on screen for 2 1/2 hours. I just feel empathy for Forrest because he gives his heart and soul into so much and that's really all he knows. What does he get for those efforts? He gets to watch a kid that may not be his and he gets to think that he's finally won over Jenny when she has so little time left. He doesn't even get to enjoy a life with her.

 

Well, shit.  When you put it that way it is fucked up.  My interpretation of it does indeed vary from that, hence why I posted that.  But I don't feel I'm alone in that by any means.  Though now I might have to rethink that movie, at least that theme I was going on about.

 

 

[Babylonianfrost]

Christ, Big Fish came out fairly soon after my father passed away, and that movie took great pleasure in absolutely destroying me in the theater.  It's a great movie, but I haven't seen it since.

 

I had a sense during The Muppets that the waterworks may or may not have been imminent, but I thought I had escaped intact until "Rainbow Connection"; after that, it was just me biting my lip and sniffling into my oversized soft drink & trying to hold it together while I tried to figure out how to blame it on allergies.

 

The one I'm embarassed about though is the damned "Notebook."  My girlfriend rented that in 2006 (?) and watched it while I was in the room not particularly paying attention to it (likely busy wandering on one of the former variants of this board being enthralled at the chaos in the current event thread or something, actually) but kind of watching it out of the corner of my eye, not really caring.  In fact, I was getting more and more irritated at it...then THAT DAMN SCENE happened.

 

From there out, tears streamed down my face for the rest of the movie while I hated myself for letting them do that to me.

 

Dear Zachary...dear god, that was a gut punch but I think I was more numb than anything else.

[Big Fresh]

[Craig H]

Shit, I ALWAYS tear up listening to Rainbow Connection. I was practically balling when I watched the Muppets with my daughter, singing it to her.

[Fuzzy Dunlop]

I'm not even a particularly big fan of Scrubs, it was just kinda omnipresent and difficult to avoid on TV over here for a while so I've seen a bunch of episodes and it was never exactly subtle about going for the jugular with the emotional stuff. That being said, I recall this damn near getting me:

 

[scraylo187]

Shit, I ALWAYS tear up listening to Rainbow Connection. I was practically balling when I watched the Muppets with my daughter, singing it to her.

 

Yeah, Muppets doesn't even have to be on. One time I hummed it to my nice and was like 'oh shit here it comes'

[Ace]

Hell, I got misty watching Kermit and Piggy singing Christmas songs at the El Capitan BEFORE the Muppets even started.

[scraylo187]

Hell, I got misty watching Kermit and Piggy singing Christmas songs at the El Capitan BEFORE the Muppets even started.

 

We were bawling the same theatre, sir. Cheers.

[Tromatagon]

Wtf how are all you people suddenly Californians?

[Stevie Ray Von Erich]

I cried twice at Blended.

 

I went to see Blended.

 

Fuck you guys.

[The Comedian]

In terms of getting unexpectedly misty-eyed, the first thing I thought of was Desmond Llewelyn's final appearance as Q...

 

[Ryan]

I now want to hear Kermit singing in Dutch. DE REGENBOOGCONNECTIE

[piranesi]

Is it weird that I teared up watching Julio Cesar's interview after the Brazil game yesterday?

 

And God Bless Craig for standing up to the Gump Mafia.  That movie is like the tea party starter set from before there was a tea party.

 

Goddammit, Craig.  You're so close to being a rational human being....just...if you could just...

 

 

 

 

....Why do you have to love Shawshank?

[driver]

/thread

[piranesi]

Not fair.  If Champ had lived he would have turned into Jon Voight...so...

 

[Jingus]

I know I'll miss a few, and some of these were more "successfully choking back tears" rather than fully getting transparent color.  But this is the list, as best as I can remember: 

 

Movies:

-Titanic.  YES, I SAID TITANIC.  Yes, THAT movie by that name, it's EXACTLY the one you're thinking of.  It happened when the priest is giving the impromptu last mass on the deck as the ship is going down.  "And God shall wipe away every tear..."

 

-The Rapture, a heartbreakingly obscure and unfairly unsung masterpiece.  The bizarrely transcendent, totally unexpected scene with the semi-a capella "Hark the Herald Angels Sing" in the jailhouse.  

 

-David Lynch's The Elephant Man, the very last shot.  Could be titled "Adagio for Stars".  

 

-Akira Kurosawa's Ran.  When the old Lear-ish warlord is staring with overwhelming guilt and horror at the blind flute player, a one-time angry god grown mortal and finally forced to confront his true legacy.  

 

-Schindler's List.  Take your fuckin' pick of scenes, I think I broke down at least two or three separate times.  The "cleansing" of the Warsaw ghetto and Schindler's final speech/breakdown ("Two more people.  It would've given me two more... at least one.  It would've given me one!  One more person...") being the ones I remember.  Most likely the real-world scene at the very end too, but I can't say for sure.  

 

-Saving Private Ryan, the D-Day opening.  (Going to see this mere days after my own father had been riddled with bullets was NOT one of my better ideas.)  If you weren't shaken by the Normandy beach scenes and its unprecedented assault on the senses, then you've got no goddamned soul.  

 

-Apocalypse Now, but oddly enough not the first time I watched it.  Nor the tenth, nor the twentieth.  After all, it's possibly my very favorite movie, and I've probably seen it dozens of times.  But one night I was very drunk and had my own little mini-breakdown during the Ride Of The Valkyries airborne massacre, somehow laughing my ass off and sobbing my eyes out at the same time.  

 

-Another possibly-my-very-favorite: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.  The final scene, the final line.  The simplest thing in the world: the word "Okay", repeated three times.  

 

-More Charlie Kaufman: Adaptation.  But this one wasn't any one particular scene, it was just the cumulative effect of the movie.  I saw it first on what was supposed to be a day-long theater-hopping marathon, but, uh, that plan never happened.  After it ended, I went to the next theater for what was supposed to be a viewing of Darkness Falls, but about sixty seconds into the movie I could tell I was in no condition to perform, as it were.  I stumbled out to my car, angry and confused and choking back tears.  (After having finally seen the shitacular Darkness Falls, I maintain I made the right choice.)  

 

-Speaking of no-one-real-part, cumulative-effect examples: The Talented Mr. Ripley.  That one cut WAY too close to the bone, for me.  One of those movies which made me feel like maybe I'm not as nice a person as I like to think.  Maybe not nice at all.  Maybe not even close.  

 

-Wall-E.  Yes, I said it, I SAID it.  I wanted to cry, like, a LOT during this one.  But the only time I ever tipped the bucket was during Eve and Wall-E's zero-gravity dance with the fire extinguisher, dipping in and out and around the spaceship's exhaust blasts in just the most goddamn gorgeous thing I've ever seen in a movie.  

 

-Children of Men.  Near the end, when the heroes are walking down that endless flight of stairs in the destroyed building, and for just one endless second everything is quiet (except for one particular cry), and all the soldiers are just staring at them (and, more importantly, what they're carrying) in shock and awe and holy rapturous wonder.  

 

-Inglorious Basterds: when the giant face has its revenge.  Particularly, the part where it's doing that endless, maniacal laugh and we can only barely see it projected on the smoke.  

 

-Lost Highway.  Well, sort of, it wasn't exactly real crying, more like having a brief panic attack.  But if you've seen the movie, you know the scene: panted exclamations of "I want you... I want you!" at a really odd moment to say that particular thing, followed by her blood-freezing reply which will haunt me forever and fucking ever.  (I think this movie had way too big a part in shaping way too many of my views on male-female romantic relationships.)  

 

-Speaking of more Lynch, Mulholland Dr.  Which part?  Here's a hint: the scene in question is totally relevant to the title of this thread.  

 

-Batman Returns.  SPEAKING of movies which had way too big a part in shaping way too many of my views on male-female relationships.  The ballroom dance scene with the beautiful Sioxsie tune in the background, where they suddenly "discover" each other and then have absolutely NO idea of what they're supposed to do next.  

 

-Les Miserables.  This one's almost cheating, since even the BOOK version of this story leaves me a shivering wreck.  And some of the better film/TV adaptations.  And the stage musical.  And the anniversary TV concert performances.  AND the film musical.  And I don't even know which part to count, since it's usually a different bit that sucker-punches me every single time.  "Dreamed a Dream", "Castle on a Cloud", "On My Own", "Bring Him Home", "Empty Chairs", either one of the last two songs; take yer own goddamned pick.  

 

-Dancer in the Dark: take one goddamn guess.  Yep, the ending.  Although, geez, SO much of this movie could easily lead to SO much sobbing.  

 

-Gangs of New York: various little bits in the last twenty minutes or so, when our micro-epic all-in-one-neighborhood story is suddenly stepped on and made totally irrelevant by larger outside events.  Especially the last musical montage.  

 

-The Sweet Hereafter: when we finally SEE the bus go through the... well, y'know.  We already knew it happened, but that one moment is staged in such a brilliantly tense manner that we almost don't believe we're really about to witness it.  And then CRACK CRACK BOOM and then it's not a slow burn of tears, it's a goddamn gasping explosion.  

 

-The Princess and the Frog: when we get that one character death I was NOT expecting.  And not really even that part, but when we see their final resting place.  

 

-Das Boot: the unholy bitchslap of an ending, which remains one of the most unfair fucking things I've ever seen in my life.  

 

-Speaking of endings that just aren't RIGHT: The Remains of the Day.  WAKE UP AND LIVE LIKE YOU'RE ALIVE, YOU UNBELIEVABLE ASSHOLE!

 

-West Side Story.  At the end, when Maria is desperately trying to sing the fantasy back to life, but Reality Ensues and the music just dies.  

 

-Black Swan: when the final performance goes Full Crazy and she starts, uh, becoming it.  Those contemptuous, insane, overwhelmingly powerful looks she gives (directly into the freaking camera lens, breaking EVERY law of narrative filmmaking!) were some transcendently powerful stuff.  

 

-The Limey: when we finally find out who killed her, and how, and WHY, and the look on the Limey's face during all of the above.  

 

-Psycho.  Shower.  Nuff said.  (Although, oddly, not until like the third time I saw that movie.)  

 

-The Last Unicorn.  

...

...shut your fucking filthy whorish mouths.  I regret nothing.  

 

 

 

Television: 

-Dr. Horrible's Singalong Blog: take one goddamn guess.  Yep, the ending.  Joss, you BASTARD.  

 

-Buffy the Vampire Slayer: both "Becoming, part 2" and "The Body".  I shouldn't need to explain, for anyone who's seen 'em.  

 

-Firefly: a few different parts.  Isolated bits in "Out of Gas", "Ariel", "War Stories", and "Objects in Space" during my first view-through where I could barely even believe what I was seeing.  

 

-My So-Called Life, of all damn things.  The Christmas episode, where the show suddenly jumps the tracks and practically derails right into the sky, when one character asks "When did you die?"  

 

-The Kingdom, Lars Von Trier's unbelievably awesome Danish miniseries from the 90s.  A couple different parts, but especially the outta-f'n-nowhere discovery of the little girl's body (especially suddenly realizing just HOW LONG you'd already been looking right at it) and the horrifyingly brutal fate of the weird baby.  

 

-Cowboy Bebop: take one goddamn guess.  Yep, the ending.  You're gonna carry that weight.  

 

-Battlestar Galactica, the 2000s version.  Too many different times to count, and they're mostly all huge spoilers, you can probably take some good guesses.  Mostly big character deaths.  

 

-Babylon 5: the series finale.  No, the other one.  When that one guy turns out the lights.  And it really does end.  In fire.  

[twiztor]

-Batman Returns.  SPEAKING of movies which had way too big a part in shaping way too many of my views on male-female relationships.  The ballroom dance scene with the beautiful Sioxsie tune in the background, where they suddenly "discover" each other and then have absolutely NO idea of what they're supposed to do next.  

 

 

this one i don't understand at all.

i've seen this movie dozens of times and at no point did i ever feel some emotional heart strings being tugged at even remotely close enough to warrant crying. like, i can't fathom what's happening from your perspective.

 

[Ryan]

It might be easier to list things that don't make Jingus cry.

[Jingus]

This is always why I get sad when Stallone gets dismissed as just another action movie guy who can't act. IMO, he's inconsistent, but when he's on, he's as good as any Oscar winner.

Yeah.  INCREDIBLY underrated as a director and especially a writer, too.  It's amazing the number of people who act like he's some kind of retarded caveman, when he's directed 8 movies and written an astounding 23 of the damn things.  And yeah, some of those scripts include such losers as Staying Alive, Rhinestone, Over the Top, and Rocky V; but still, he also did all the OTHER Rocky and Rambo movies too.  

 

I might rate his First Blood performance, if I could understand even half of what he said during that final monologue.  It went something like "mumble mumble gargle gargle SCREAM SCREAM parking cars!!!".  Ditto with his big speech during the courtroom scene in Rocky Balboa.  I know it's not his fault, the poor guy's vocal cords have literally been half paralyzed since birth, but he's still no Olivier when it comes to handling lots of heavy dialogue.  

 

this one i don't understand at all.

 

i've seen this movie dozens of times and at no point did i ever feel some emotional heart strings being tugged at even remotely close enough to warrant crying. like, i can't fathom what's happening from your perspective.

Basically, I wanted Batman and Catwoman to GET TOGETHER, GODDAMMIT!  (And no, the end of The Dark Knight Rises doesn't count.)  I am SUCH a mark for "Romeo and Juliet, except one of 'em is evil and they actually fight each other" storylines that it's not even funny.  At that moment, when they realized who each other really was, it was the only time in the movie they even came close to winding up together happily-whenever-after.  

 

And the fact that both of them were so bewildered, so unsure of themselves (which was completely out of character for both of them), made it even more heartbreaking to me.  Her line of "Oh god... does this mean we have to start fighting?" was... maaaan, I barely even have any idea of how to articulate my feelings about that part.  "On pins and needles" or "on the edge of my seat" don't even begin to cover it.  I wanted them to just say "fuck it, let's just accept the fact that we're totally in love and forget the fact that we've literally scarred each other in the past" SO badly.  (The idea of people who've seriously tried to kill each other in the past who somehow fall in love is something I'm utterly obsessed with, and it's completely due to this movie.)  And of course the godforsaken cocksucking Penguin promptly runs in to ruin everything... le sigh.  And then the movie teases me AGAIN near the end, only to have her reject him and ruin everything and ARRRRGH.  

 

It might be easier to list things that don't make Jingus cry.

Like I mentioned before, lots of 'em weren't full-on crying, just sort of that thing you do when you're trying NOT to cry and barely succeeding.  Really only about seven or eight out of the whole list brought me to full tears.  But considering the sheer amount of shit I've consumed over the years (my Flickchart list is damn near 2000 titles long now, and that doesn't begin to count TV, books, comics, video games, stage plays, wrestling, etc) my list isn't really THAT long.  

 

Speaking of stage plays, there was also some opera or operetta or musical or some damn thing back in college that my girlfriend was in which also reduced me to full tears, but I can't remember the name of it for the life of me.  Something about a "fallen woman" who had been forced to become a nun back in ye olde days, after giving birth out of wedlock.  Then she finds out her child has died, and shit gets real.  Any guesses, anyone?  

[piranesi]

 

Speaking of stage plays, there was also some opera or operetta or musical or some damn thing back in college that my girlfriend was in which also reduced me to full tears, but I can't remember the name of it for the life of me.  Something about a "fallen woman" who had been forced to become a nun back in ye olde days, after giving birth out of wedlock.  Then she finds out her child has died, and shit gets real.  Any guesses, anyone?  

 

 

 

Suor Angelica by Puccini.

 

Put your head back and pretend you're looking at the ceiling until the tears stop, Jingus.  If anyone asks you say "Look at the vaulting up there.  They don't make concert halls like that anymore!"

[Big Fresh]

-Speaking of no-one-real-part, cumulative-effect examples: The Talented Mr. Ripley.  That one cut WAY too close to the bone, for me.  One of those movies which made me feel like maybe I'm not as nice a person as I like to think.  Maybe not nice at all.  Maybe not even close.  

 

Anyone else freaked the fuck out right now?

[piranesi]

Gwyneth Paltrow will have that effect though.

 

For me MR. Ripley was the moment I could no longer even pretend to irrationally hate Matt Damon.

[J.T.]

My daughter, her BFF and I went to see The Fault In Our Stars yesterday and we each contributed a dollar to a crying pool. 

 

I was good to go until Augustus's funeral before the funeral (if you've read the book or seen the movie, you know what I mean) and then I tapped out.  They giggled a little at the sight of me weeping, but I could tell they were on the verge too.

 

My daughter and her BFF held out until the end of the movie where Hazel read Augustus's last e-mail and that was it for them. No money changed hands.

[rainmakerrtv]

I've been getting caught up on watching the new Dr. Who and got hit with a double whammy, starting with the second part of the Family Of Blood storyline, with the Doctor's alternate identity trying his best to hold on. "Why can't I be John Smith? Isn't he a good man?" Then I got jackhammered by Blink :

 

"It was raining when we first met."

 

"It's the same rain."