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MLB 2014: MAY


RIPPA

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The Cubs do not. Their mascots are Clark (official) and Ronnie Woo Woo (unofficial, and fuck that guy, fucking douchebag).

 

Ronnie Woo Woo is someone you definitely grow out of liking. As a kid it's alright, as an adult it's super-annoying and kills my enjoyment of the game. I could have sworn I saw him once or twice at 95th and the Dan Ryan (the southermost station in CTA's Red Line) on a non-Cub game day and he was still dressed in his silly "uniform."

 

And another guy by the name of Billy Cub who dresses up as a Bear and was super pissed when Clark was announced as the official one.

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Coincidentally, Clammy Sosa was at yesterday's Phillies game to celebrate the Phanatic's birthday, and ate an umpire (or, more accurately, an actor dressed up like an umpire).
 

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That's racist.

 

Also, Carlos Marmol got DFA'ed by the Marlins last week.  He's now been released.

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He's like the living version of the old Ty Cobb quote/joke:

 

"Ty, do you think you'd hit if you were playing today?"

 

"Well, I think I'd hit about .270"

 

".270?  Really?  Why so low?"

 

"Well, I am 70 years old!"

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Now now, no need for jokes. I can only imagine how frustrating it must be to be Miguel Olivo and realize how much you suck. Gotta blow off steam somehow.

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Holy fucking shit. What. The. Fuck. Fucking Shark is going to win the Cy Young with an 0-14 record because he has the worst run support ever and a defense that fucks up at the absolute worst times. Jesus fucking Christ.

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For some damn reason, Scott Boras (who is Guerrero's agent) felt the need to open his word-hole re: Bitey McEarmuncher:

The custom and practice of a locker room over the course of the season does include confrontation and sometimes physical altercations with your teammates," Boras said. "But shooting, stabbing or cannibalizing a player is not a part of baseball or being a proper teammate. That's extreme and deserves grand discipline.

Beautiful. Cannibalism is not a part of baseball. Thank you for your invaluable contribution to the discussion, you ginormous douchewad.

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And the Tigers bullpen rears its head again.  They somehow managed to have a lead despite Mad Max being terrible (7 ER in 7 innings) but Joe Nathan blew another save in the 9th and then Phil Coke (who has been beyond wretched this year) and Al Alburquerque (bases loaded balk!) managed to blow another lead in the 10th.  So the Tigers managed to get themselves swept by Cleveland - a team that got crushed over the weekend by Oakland.

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Holy fucking shit. What. The. Fuck. Fucking Shark is going to win the Cy Young with an 0-14 record because he has the worst run support ever and a defense that fucks up at the absolute worst times. Jesus fucking Christ.

You gotta kinda admire a team that somehow has managed to go 1-9 in 10 starts by a guy with a 1.46 ERA.

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God damn can the Cub trade Jeff already to get him away from all the bullcrap?

I hate to say it, but I'm kinda with you. I feel bad for the guy. He leads the majors and his team is doing it's best job of pushing him out the door.

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It took awhile, but the Ricketts family said they're moving forward with the video board, increased advertising, and additional seating, essentially telling the rooftop owners to go fuck themselves. In the Cubs contract with the rooftops, there's an out clause for expansion, which is what the purpose of the additional seating is. That will allow them to move forward with everything else. The rooftops have responded with saying that they would sue the Cubs. The rooftops will lose.

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