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They'd make decent coin working as a Batista at Starbucks though.

Also, how dare people have time off around holidays to be with family, what the fuck? Their jobs probably fucking suck and they need the break. I'm sure there's a skeleton crew of dorks to try and stop any hacking crap now, feeble as it may be in the end.

Carry her own 80s high school comedy show. Cmon, you know the rest of you that are over 30 were thinking of that joke too.

I give you a rich tapestry of cultural history and of course you immediately focus in on woods porn. I had one friend who had a creepy dad with a stash hidden in his basement, or so the kid said. One time I snuck back here to take a peak and didn't get past the first thing I saw. You see among his like literally Vietnam era gentleman's magazines he had what I can best describe as a "novelty drinking glass". On it was a cartoon of Arthur "The Fonz" Fonzarelli...except on the glass Arthur "The Fonz" Fonzarelli had a massive dick that wrapped around the glass. Not only that but Arthur "The Fonz" Fonzarelli was also looking right at me with a big smile on his face giving me a thumbs up. I didn't stop laughing for six weeks.

It was 20 grand when Omega made that post, but that was two hours ago. By now, £16K is probably more like $19K.

Tajiri thinks Gallagher is Regal after losing some weight, keeps trying to bring him tea and attack his enemies.

How about a Midas with the Gold Finger redneck gimmick? Everything he touches turns to Briscoe.

First day on the internet?

How grande is a barista's tip?

But it will be hard to get in 2000+ hrs of work in between January 14th and January 15th...

Heel/face dynamics have been skewed since the Attitude Era, IMO. Austin was an asshole. But he was going against a bigger, richer asshole in his boss and looked cool doing it, so it worked. Rock was obnoxious, but had enough charisma to light up NYC on his own, so he also worked. But those two are lightning in a teapot. That they overlapped each other is incredible, and no one else will ever be on that level again for various reasons. Using a sports analogy, Roman Reigns is the New England Patriots. Tom Brady-ish. He has plenty of fans, but also his share of detractors. Fans want to rub his accomplishments in others' faces, detractors want to see him get his brains kicked in. Both are good-looking, have women (and a lot of men) in ecstasy, are pretty kid friendly. Both have overlords in their lives to keep things moving along. Both are damned good at what they do. They win a lot. Not every year/match, but their winning percentage is top-notch. The biggest difference is New England has indicators that points to cheating. Reigns doesn't. But on all other metrics, they match up pretty well. But it seems too polished, too easy, like they're getting special treatment/the rub. And probably are. People don't like when someone who seemingly has so much going in their favor gets even more attention. There's a good story to be told with that criteria, as long as the writing matches the strengths of the character. Reigns' best booking came during the Styles feud, when he was an arrogant prick who could back up his bravado by kicking serious ass. He wasn't a heel, but he also wasn't a hippy-dippy face. That feud was booked really well, but RAW didn't keep that up for anyone on the show. RAW's biggest problem is they don't take any chances with their writing. As tiring as it got toward the end, the James Ellsworth saga was well done and they blew it off perfectly and now have him being coddled by Carmella. Interesting stuff. RAW in its current state wouldn't try that.

What kind of Art of the Deal bullshit is this? The fans are WWE's CUSTOMERS. They are, directly and indirectly, responsible for 99 cents out of every dollar of revenue that WWE gets. It's not supposed to be an adversarial relationship. Where did people get the bizarre notion that the first time a wrestling promotion changed the booking because of fan reactions was in 2014?

Buddy Murphy is a lucky man.

That needs to be Bo-lieved asap.

1001 MATCHES: A - Z The formatting is probably more jacked up than normal because I worked on it on like 5 different machines in 3 states

Well of course you get a 1 a 2 and a 3, assuming Crockett isn't there to tell of time constraints. Batista isn't a submission specialist. Strike, strike, powerbomb, go home.

$9.22 an hour, but Schiavone will be right there to call your match! You know you'd want that.

If I ever have kids, and they were so unfortunate to be in a position to have a dying wish. And that dying wish is to meet Nikolai Volkoff. I'm pulling the plug myself.

Drew Gulak could've passed as Bob Backlund Jr. in that suit he was wearing. That should be a thing.

OH MY !

I have my invites shut off, but I'll shoot you one if you want. I'm on pretty much every day, and we're always up to something. PSN is the same as my name here.

So...are you saying eating Baconators isn't exactly the best meal for someone who has to get down to 170 pounds from 210?

This part is really funny.

The last case file is pretty bad. It basically shits on the entire story and is a slog to get through.

While I'm visiting my parents in St. Louis I have a chance to go visit my faovorite mall of all time. Chesterfield Mall. Place of my first kiss. My first job. My first arrest. (three different days I assure you). Well the old mall is suffering. Like half the stores are closed or closing. The "fix your iphone screen" guy was panning in the fountain for change. The big, greasy pretzel stand was replaced by a narcan dispenser. It was rough to see. But it does give me a chance to show you one of my favorite things ever. I love it when things like this happen and it's hard to find them anymore. So at some point in its storied history they added a movie theater to the old C-Mall. And to mark that auspicious occasion they painted a mural depicting the great moments in the history of Hollywood. What's so great about it is that, going from fight to left it depicts the great iconic film moments from past to present. Which means that while the left side has genuinely immortal moments that everyone of any age will recognize Hepburn and Bogart an Newman and Taylor...The Wizard of Oz...But by the time you get to the right side the only thing revealed is just exactly what horrible era that mural was painted during and a bunch of pictures that anyone under the age of 30 will look at and be like 'Who the fuck is that?" Now just to be clear, that is not Halle Berry winning an Oscar. That is Halle Berry in THE FLINSTONES. THESE THINGS DO NOT BELONG IN THE SAME MURAL!! Oh, suburban mall....I will miss you sooooo much!

So in this hypothetical world where the cheers of adoring fans powers up babyfaces, we can assume that boos empower heels. Extrapolating from there, we can surmise that cheers are damaging to heels, in which case I imagine that the desiccated husks of The Bullet Club are slowly blowing away into dust at an ROH show while the crowd chants "You still got it!" at them.

AJ going from being world champion to feuding with The Miz would be a major step down. He's had an awesome year and doesn't deserve to be pushed to the back back burner because it's the road to Wrestlemania, so it's time to trot out Taker and the other part timers. I feel like Cena/Taker would have all the makings of the forced WWE epics that I hate so much.

How is Sandy Duncan looking these days ? Are we going to be able to get her into a Peter Pan costume so she can tell the WWE Universe to "clap if you believe"?

Last night Johnny Carson remained in the late 80s and the running theme of darkly ironic references that remind us just how far things have gone off the rails lately continues...with a few light-hearted things here and there. A reference to José Melis: This is José Melis. Wow. In 1988 Johnny Carson expects an audience to get a reference to a minor schmaltzy bandleader who last worked in t.v. some time around 1961 or so. It was sort of an inside joke toward Doc Severenson becuase José Melis was the first guy to have his job as the band leader when Jack Paar hosted the Tonight Show. Here he is shredding like a king putting your grandparents to sleep LIVE! semi-concscious. A reference to Bartles & Jaymes sitting outside. This refers to a series of commercials that ran in the mid 1980s for Bartles & Jaymes flavored wine coolers marketed by E & J Gallo. In reality there was no Bartles and there was no Jaymes. They were fake names meant to make the product sound legit somehow. But in 1984 Hal Riney, the guy who did this incredibly effective ad for Ronald Reagan earlier in the year was hired to boost sales and decided to go the opposite direction than "wine chic legit", casting two folksy dimwitted fieldbillies to be "Frank Bartles" and "Ed Jaymes." Instead of commercial actors Riney hired a cattle rancher named David Rufkahr and a contractor and family friend named Dick Maugg to play the fake "Bartles & Jaymes." This approach was very different than other attempts to market similar products: CRIPES!!! yeah...that was life B.B.J. (Before Bartles & Jaymes).The commercials were huge and sales soared and of coruse the parodies soon followed, this one featuring the great Phil Hartmann and the so-so A. Whitney Brown. http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/cold-opening/n9469?snl=1 A reference to a Heather Thomas calendar. It is referring to this: Ever since, I don't know the 1930s or something "pin-up" calendars had been a big deal and every year one "babe" stood out as the big calendar girl. This tradition came to an end roughly about the time DSL made internet porn readily available to teenage boys across America. But in December 1988 it was either 1) be lucky enough to have a perv. of an old man with a stack of playboys hidden in the garden shed 2) be lucky enough to stumble on a cache of porn hidden in a tree stump in the woods 3) calendars. The only jerk material not classified as contraband by the catholic church The best-selling 1989 calendar featured Heather Thomas in various tiny tiny string-based outfits and celebrating the fantastically gifted chromosomes that resulted in her being able to 1) look like this 2) replace Markie Post on THE FALL GUY (see A-TEAM post above). 3) Write a screenplay titled SCHOOL SLUT and apparently sell it to Touchstone Pictures for "Mid six figures" WHAT???? THAT"S NOT HOW THA"ST SUPPPOSEd TO WORK?????@!!!!!! 4) Look like this A reference to Peter Allan playing Legs Diamond. Wow. Another deep track. Literally the only time anyone on earth would get this was between Dec. 26, 1988 and around March 7, 1989. It is a reference to this: A musical that had just opened that week on Broadway and would go on to flop hugely, being one of the worst-reviewed shows of the year. It was a musical version of a 1960 film, THE RISE AND FALL OF LEGS DIAMOND about the flamboyant 1920s mobster Jack "Gentleman Jack" Diamond who survived three separate shootings before being betrayed by his mistress Marion "Kiki" Roberts and gunned down in 1931. The gimmick was that they hired Peter Allen, Liza Minelli's goofy-ass husband to play to smooth-talking tough guy. This is Legs Diamond. This is Peter Allen. This did not work. In fact it was such a flop that the theater it premiered in, the famous and gorgeous Mark Heilinger Theater where MY FAIR LADY had debuted was sold to become a damn church. Penance for shitty casting. A reference to George Bush holding a shotgun. Throughout the 1988 presidential campaign, George Bush seemed to have trouble shaking the image that he had little inspiration and little backbone. He was mocked throughout as a "wimp" compared to the suave Reagan and went out of his way to create absurd photo ops to re-create himself not as a lifelong policy wonk and professorial spy, but as a rough cowboy outsider. No one bought any of it and everyone in the country continued to mock him, but 1) At least no one on his campaign let him do this 2) How much would you give to have old man Bush back as the "right" right now? 3) Wimp or not he at least had no hesitation in telling David Duke to fuck right off. A reference to Time Magazine naming Earth "planet of the year..." This is a little sly as they didn't actually have a "planet of the year" contest but named "Earth" in place of a "person of the year" for 1988. From their article: So...problem solved in 1988!!!!! Surely we have lots of time to fix everything that they mentioned. I mean, THE COVER OF TIME RIGHT???? At the very least it is gratifying to see how well prepared we were in 1988 to take this seriously. Or 28 years later we could name the CEO of Exxon/Mobile to be Secretary of State and Ted Nugent to be head of the E.P.A. HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!! So that sucks...but...and this is pretty great: OUR Obscure final guest of the night: Oldest bowler in the world: Papa John Venterello Venturello, from Miami, made the rounds when he turned 100 appearing in People Magazine and on both Letterman and Carson. Carson did two full segments with the guy because he was freaking hilarious. Now remember this broadcast is happening in 1988 and so Johnny is only giving us teh beginning of a long epic story involving mutliple liekly homicides and changes of rulership. John Venturello continued bowling every friday in a league until his death in 1994 A FEW DAYS SHY OF HIS 106th BIRHTDAY!!!! His record was broken in 2007 by 106 year old Bill Hargrove of Atlanta, GA who didn't get to GO ANY GODDAMN TALK SHOWS WTF??? Despite what idiot-local-reporter says in the report above, Bill didn't last too long on the throne. He died unexpectedly just after breaking the record, likely a victim of foul play in the hyper-competetive world of trying-to-live-slightly-longer-than-another-old-ass-guy-in-a-bowling-alley and THAT record was in turn broken in 2009 by slightly-more-than-106-year-old Ted Muller of Sun Valley, CA. Muller too seems to have died unexpectedly, another unsolved case in a serial murder spree that took so many in the prime of life...leaving room for yet another geezer to ascend the moutainntop And THAT record was broken in 2012 by this spry young fella, Gene Scala of Arlington TX who BROKE THE 107 BARRIER!!! I have not found an obituary for Gene Scala so either he is 112 years old now or the whole thing has been covered up by The Soylent Corporation

If I was into gambling, I'd say bet the house on Dominick Cruz.

Also, Cena is 100% the face in this thing. Please. The rationalization smart fans have for rooting for heels is really tiresome. What Cena said on Talking Smack: I'm not done. I'm not injured. I had a bad year in 2016 in terms of my win-loss record. I have something to prove to myself. What AJ Styles is: An a-hole of the highest order. He tries to stock the odds against him. He gained his early advantage on Cena by manipulating a situation where his buddies from Japan attacked him, and then spent months bragging about it. AJ beat Cena fairly (which Cena admits) and then took Cena's respect of leaving his armband in the ring/salute to the fans and wore it as a trophy. AJ whines about Cena "big-timing" him, as if playing mind-games and showing confidence isn't part of competition. Wrestling fans are heels. We wish we could cheat, brag, manipulate and take advantage of situations in our daily lives like heels do. However, real life and social norms prevent us from doing so. It's the nature of normal people to not be jerks. But we want to be so badly. We want to be bullies. We want to be on top. We think the only way to "win" in this world -- to become president, to become rich, to become the boss -- is by taking shortcuts and cheating. We just don't have the balls to break the rules of our society to do so. So we now live vicariously through jerks. There's a certain honor in being a jerk, and it's something we support, but we just can't do. Like... Why does Kevin Owens get cheered over Roman Reigns? KO is a great performer, but he's a total butt-munch. He cut the line in NXT by ruthlessly attacking his best friend at his highest moment. He constantly wins via cheating. He cheapshots non-stop in his matches. He has also manipulated his "best friend" several times to avoid getting into a physical altercation. Roman hasn't done any of that. He's just tried to fight the good fight. That's why Daniel Bryan and the YES! Movement was so remarkable. There is still a part of us that knows we are fighting underneath, and the ultimate victory comes from beating the odds fairly. Doing it that way is also hard. But it's truly honorable.

It doesnt get mentioned a lot anymore, but she is funny in the Blues Brothers as belushi's ex.

I'm not that cruel.

I like Corbin, but he struggled a bit with the in-ring portion when he first got brought up. He's still relatively green, but he learns fast, and is noticeably better now.

A $20K contract from a promotion that will be around long enough to pay the entire contract seems like a fair trade off for no contract working for company that may not even be around for very long.

I find it interesting that the notion is that people boo and cheer the wrong people just for the sole purpose to fuck with the WWE. I get it, it is a lot harder to draw reactions then it was in the 80's because of the Internet and all of that. But to me, the best way to fix it is to write modern stories with modern characters that people connect with. Not the current shit that they put on week after week. Go back and watch the Vince/Stone Cold interview, there is the problem. Also, the point of wrestling is to sell tickets, merch and network subscriptions, not get people to cheer or boo the "right" people. The worst sound is the sound of silence, be it from a fan or an empty seat,

That's fucking weird. I would have gone with Joyce DeWitt.

Man. I feel so bad for that whole family. I wasn't super shocked by any of this but that didn't make it any less upsetting really. The heart attack itself actually made me think of the way we wrestling fans lost Eddie years back, probably because of the similar redemption story from intense addiction. When the reporting said 10-15 minutes without breathing I was like "Shit there's a high chance she's braindead even if they stabilize her." and while I hoped, I had that feeling that it was gonna end in sadness. Losing Debbie Reynolds the next day was likewise upsetting if not surprising. I just really hope their surviving family have strong support right now because one loss like that can be crushing but two in a row is fucking devastating.

Rusev and Lana need their own show on the network, doing whatever they want.

WANT

My favorite Donnie Yen movies: 1. Ip Man 2. Ip Man 2 3. Iron Monkey 4. Flashpoint 5. 14 Blades 6. SPL 7. Ip Man 3 (The Donnie Yen / Mike Tyson fight is really good)

My beloved significant other got me a 1TB XBone with Gears of War 4 for Christmas. As soon as I find a used copy of this dumb game, I will see you assholes in Los Santos after hours and hours of content downloading. This may have to happen after my honeymoon as I feel I should marry this woman immediately.

Who does Hogan think he is, Al Bundy?