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AEW Dynamite (3/31/21)


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The Hater's Guide to Enjoying AEW Dynamite (3/31/21)

– MJF’s Gift to “The Pinnacle”

Once again, any time Spears appears, it's a gimme, a layup. Also, what kind of name is "The Pinochle"? In my day, we didn't name stables after card games! In my day, stables had manly names that you could set your watch by. Names like "Dudes with Attitudes" and "Pretty Mad Sisters."


– Jon Moxley vs Cezar Bononi (w/ Peter Avalon)

This is a tough call. On the one hand, we get to see Mox fight, which is usually a very good thing. On the other hand, we have to watch Bononi in the ring. Will Mox be the key to unlocking a good match out of Bononi, or will Bononi drag Mox down? I'm so interested in the answer to that question that I'm not even doing this one in gimmick.

 

– AEW World Women’s Champion Hikaru Shida & Tay Conti Vs. The Bunny (w/ Matt Hardy) & Nyla Rose (w/ Vickie Guerrero)

Vickie and Nyla aren't quite in Spears territory, but it's likely one of them will give you something to hang your hat on when it comes to bitching about this match. 

 

– AEW World Champion Kenny Omega & The Good Brothers (w/ Don Callis) Vs. The Lucha Brothers & Laredo Kid

Now that I've broken gimmick, I'm finding it hard to get back in. Real talk: The Good Brothers are not funny. Their try-hard dick jokes are the opposite of comedy. I sincerely wonder if Gallows is one of those guys who is a big guy but also friendly and easy-going and likable and so people are reluctant to tell him his jokes aren't funny and maybe even laugh along to make him feel good. 

I already made my "Nobody knows who Laredo Kid is" joke last week.

 

– Christian Cage Vs. Frankie Kazarian 

Ha ha! These guys are old!

I mean, not as old as me, but still...


– Arcade Anarchy: Chuck Taylor & Orange Cassidy Vs. Kip Sabian (w/ Penelope Ford) Vs. “The Best Man” Miro

In my day, real men didn't feud over arcade games! Or... maybe Glacier vs Mortis? But usually not. In my day, real men feuded because one of them ran over the other's girlfriend's dog, or they both wanted to use the letter "T" in their name. 

 

– Exhibition Match: “The American Nightmare” Cody Rhodes Vs. QT Marshall — Special Guest Referee: Arn Anderson

Ever since he definitively put Darby Allin over clean, everyone on these boards has been showering Cody with non-stop love and approval. And why not? He's a genuinely handsome guy with a perfect body, married to a gorgeous woman, about to become a father, and living his best life after having overcome adversity. And he has a cool neck tattoo. You'd have to be pretty insecure to hate on a guy like that! And of course the feud with QT Marshall has got everyone talking! I'm sorry, but it's impossible to find anything to hate on here. 

 

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I’ll allow Bononi having a high profile match with a former champion since it probably gives him a good payday since he’s on a tier 0/1 contract, and god knows his family needs it right now with what they’re going through. I can only imagine what’s going through his mind today: first he’s having a meeting with the ambassador to Brazil (that AEW’s legal team set up because the deadline is at the end of the week for the transplant) because his wife needs a bone marrow transplant and her sister is a match (but stuck in Brazil) and then he has to leave that to get ready for a match with Jon Moxley. Geez.

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9 hours ago, John from Cincinnati said:

New gimmick poster broke kayfabe in week two. His troll game is weak.

I was gonna joke that "Yeah, I'm terrible at being a garbage person" but I just (unknowingly, but still) trash talked a guy whose wife needs a bone marrow transplant for, if I understand correctly, leukemia treatment. So, apparently I'm quite excellent at being a garbage person.

1 hour ago, Casey said:

I’ll allow Bononi having a high profile match with a former champion since it probably gives him a good payday since he’s on a tier 0/1 contract, and god knows his family needs it right now with what they’re going through. I can only imagine what’s going through his mind today: first he’s having a meeting with the ambassador to Brazil (that AEW’s legal team set up because the deadline is at the end of the week for the transplant) because his wife needs a bone marrow transplant and her sister is a match (but stuck in Brazil) and then he has to leave that to get ready for a match with Jon Moxley. Geez.

This is the first I have heard about this. Good Lord, what a crazy situation. Like, I am sure, everyone here I can only hope that this story has a happy ending.  Like you say, it's impossible to imagine what Bononi is going through right now.

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A small update on that: his sister in law was granted an emergency visa, but now she has COVID so she can’t come until the end of April at the earliest. His wife is going to do another round of chemo until then, he says.

It’s been a gut punch of a few weeks for him. Finally some good news, and then his SiL contracts COVID. Goddamn.

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10 hours ago, El Gran Gordi said:

Names like "Dudes with Attitudes" and "Pretty Mad Sisters."

Don't forget the Union of People You OUghtta Respect, Shane.  Or, at the absolute height of McMahon and Russo cleverness, U.P.Y.OU.R.S.

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I can carry the ball coach! Put me in!

– MJF’s Gift to “The Pinnacle”

One of the big issues many people had with MJF's tenure in AEW was that he devolved with great frequency into WWE style 'skits' which were met with extremely mixed reactions and typically involved filling time instead of moving anything forward. Having another skit set up so soon in the Pinnacle's life span is a bad sign if its devolves into more of the same. Promos are fine. Trying to put on a talent show in a waste of television time. 


– Jon Moxley vs Cezar Bononi (w/ Peter Avalon)

As much as I enjoy Moxley in a main event setting, his matches where the express purpose should be to get him over usually drag as he takes a lot of the offense in a pretty basic way, grinds people down with holds and will walk through stuff with a "sell, wander away, shakes his body, walk back" sort of way. Cezar is still green but at least he normally has an idea of his role in the company as evidenced by his match with Page last week. 

– AEW World Women’s Champion Hikaru Shida & Tay Conti Vs. The Bunny (w/ Matt Hardy) & Nyla Rose (w/ Vickie Guerrero)

Bunny is getting the 'suddenly number one contender' push which almost always fails unless the person in question has obscene levels of talent which Bunny don't. This is one of those matches that will have stuff happen after the match no matter what and either 15 people will run out which would be a mess but logical or no one will run out and it won't make any sense. Shida's reign as best we have but not that great continues! Notice any momentum they could have gotten out of Baker and Rosa has lessened because of AEW's booking philosophy.

– AEW World Champion Kenny Omega & The Good Brothers (w/ Don Callis) Vs. The Lucha Brothers & Laredo Kid

The Good Brothers aren't just not funny. They aren't any good and expect them to slog it out clashing styles with the luchadores while Kenny does what he always does. Fenix will continue to be spectacular, Penta will continue to taunt, Laredo will continue to be the other one.

– Christian Cage Vs. Frankie Kazarian 

Face vs Face match up to debut a wrestler is such a dumb idea that makes no sense. SCU doing singles matches that they are going to lose while also running an angle that if they lose they will break up (which no one cares about) makes no sense. Scorpio Sky not being on television for four weeks after a heel turn makes no sense. BOOKER OF THE YEAR.

– Arcade Anarchy: Chuck Taylor & Orange Cassidy Vs. Kip Sabian (w/ Penelope Ford) & “The Best Man” Miro

Six months to get us here. Jesus H Christ. One of the worst feuds in AEW history taking a hot debut AND a hot babyface and watering it down to 'Please, god let it end already'. BOOKER OF THE YEAR.

– Exhibition Match: “The American Nightmare” Cody Rhodes Vs. QT Marshall — Special Guest Referee: Arn Anderson

Will QT Marshall turn heel? Didn't he already turn heel? Does anyone care either way? No. No one cares. Brandi to announce she is starting a website about her television show about her pregnancy. I want the whole Nightmare Family to turn on Cody so he can beat all 17 of them in the Doomsday Cage. 

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I think the real thing they're building to is not Shida vs Bunny but Shida vs Tay.

I do think they should strike with Tay while she's hot and give her the belt at the next PPV.

 

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12 hours ago, El Gran Gordi said:

 Real talk: The Good Brothers are not funny. Their try-hard dick jokes are the opposite of comedy. I sincerely wonder if Gallows is one of those guys who is a big guy but also friendly and easy-going and likable and so people are reluctant to tell him his jokes aren't funny and maybe even laugh along to make him feel good. 

Gallows is the Todd Packer of pro wrestling. 

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26 minutes ago, christopher.annino said:

I mean, y'all know The Good Brothers are supposed to come off like douchebags, right? Same with Omega, yet people have been acting like they're portraying their real-life selves on television. 

No, we all get it. Shouldn't you be commending them for achieving the desired effect?

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27 minutes ago, John from Cincinnati said:

No, we all get it. Shouldn't you be commending them for achieving the desired effect?

I guess? It's legitimately hard to tell when people are saying they don't like the character when they're heels, or don't like the actual wrestler as a worker and person. I feel like Omega, especially, gets put into the latter category. Like MJF comes across to me like "such a jerk it feels like it's not an act," yet people say how good he is. Omega also douches it up and people say they don't even wanna see him on their TVs. So yeah, color me confused 🤷

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1 hour ago, christopher.annino said:

Like MJF comes across to me like "such a jerk it feels like it's not an act," yet people say how good he is. Omega also douches it up and people say they don't even wanna see him on their TVs.

I concur.  

@Goodear, I think Scorpio Sky had a vignette one of those weeks. For whatever that counts for. Make sure you give the Booker of the Year a fair trial. 

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Moxley needs to totally squash Bononi. Like, not even a question. And I say that as someone who likes him and... I'm not gonna bother looking, the other guy. Avalon! That's his name, right? Great gimmicks, the two of them, they're qualified Boy Stable-eligible, but Moxley can't be selling for their ilk.

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The matches this week were fine but for me the strength here was the angles and that's what I mostly want to yell about this week.

So I don't really care about QT Marshall, but it is still nice to have a wrestling company on TV that, get this, can execute a simple "team split up" angle. Like, this isn't that hard. Punch the guest ref/your former manager, guys beat the shit out of Cody's brother, guys beat the shit out of Cody, this was actually good. How do so many companies fuck this up? Even if you don't care for the guys involved, this build is exactly what I wanted it to be.

I liked the Inner Circle/Pinnacle segment for the same reasons. Guys that DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER because of BETRAYAL are FIGHTING. Actual violence is occurring. Blood is on my TV. Non-wrestling related objects are being broken on wrestlers. This ruled. Wrestling is great.

Don Callis has been really solid in his role since coming in.

Rey Fenix is an actual lunatic.

The LGEO reveal was fucking amazing. Those things hurt so bad. Best thing in that match.

Trent's Mom has been put over more as a babyface than half the people working Wrestlemania.

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AEW giving workers something to do by putting them in stables and having them all feud is so NJPW, but what can you do with a roster this big?  Khan is at lest brave enough to let them beat the shit out of each other until they bleed.

Thankfully, the angles are pretty interesting, even the ones that include workers I really don't care about.

Main was fucking crazy.  Excellent shit, big time moments for returning workers, and only rivaled by the balls out trios match.  Laredo Kid is a fucking lunatic.

Edited by J.T.
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The Nightmare Family split was like the wish.com version of the Pinnacle/Inner Circle angle. I guess this is how Cody gets himself in a Wargames match? I don't really care about the whole thing, but sign me up for a Nick Comorrotto vs Dustin match.

The six man tag was good stuff.

Aside from Kris Statlander returning I thought the main event was pretty cheesy. I don't dislike anyone in the match, but it just came off as yet another wacky gimmicked falls count anywhere match which they've had too much of.

I dug the dressing room brawl.

Don Callis is described as the high point of the whole Kenny/Bucks angle but I thought his promo was cringy as hell tonight.

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3 hours ago, christopher.annino said:

I guess? It's legitimately hard to tell when people are saying they don't like the character when they're heels, or don't like the actual wrestler as a worker and person. I feel like Omega, especially, gets put into the latter category. Like MJF comes across to me like "such a jerk it feels like it's not an act," yet people say how good he is. Omega also douches it up and people say they don't even wanna see him on their TVs. So yeah, color me confused 🤷

Because Omega fucking sucks and I don’t wanna see him on my tv. 

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What a fun show! That’s the word isn’t it? This company is fun to watch.

- Cody had that shit coming. Paging the “Justified Heel Actions” thread, because that was fantastic execution.

- Christian and Kaz was great because it was just so different from the AEW house style. Like this was the hot opener to the 2004 Smackdown house show in Shreveport.

- Main event brought it all home. Statlander coming out of the UFO crane game! Sue! Just fun as shit.

 

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